Saturday, 1 March 2008

The Ressurrection

Maharajalela: Good morning Mr. Birch. How's the wound?

Birch: Oh, it's you Lela, as you can see, it's still open, but no more bleeding. Weren't you hanged or something? Can't really remember you know, it's been quite a long time.

Maharajalela: Actually no one knows about this but I escaped the gallows. I fled into the jungles.

Birch: What? You did? How?

Maharajalela: Never ever put a sleepy-head in charge of something so important. I slipped through your first guard while he was sleeping. I was stopped by your Police Chief but luckily, a few gold coins were enough to make him close an eye. He must have been desperate. I went to your Chief Judge's place and put a few more gold coins and he quickly signed the document proclaiming that I was duly hanged and buried.

Birch: My god, those people were taking bribes? My Chief of Police? Even my Chief Justice?

Maharajalela: Yes! Next time, get better people for these positions.

Birch:I knew they were dirty. I thought with this type of filth in my hands, I could make them do whatever I wanted? Never knew they'd be playing a number on me too.

Maharajalela: Well, your loss is my gain right?

Birch: I guess so. So what do you say old chap. Let bygones be bygones? It's been too long to hold a grudge, you agree?

Maharajalela: Well, I guess you are right. Anyway, where are you ……

Birch: Oh, my god! Isn't that His Majesty Raja Abdullah?

Maharajalela: Where? Yes, it's him. Tuanku! Tuanku!

Raja
Abd: Well I'll be damed. Birch? lela? Just the people I need. I mean this place has changed so much. I am lost.

Birch: Well, Your Majesty, you are loss no more. Now, it's WE who are lost.

Raja
Abd: I met Yap Ah Loy a moment ago. He promised to tag along but he must have got lost.

Maharajalela: Birch, Birch, pinch me, pinch me.

Birch: Are you out of your mind?

Maharajalela: That can't be them? My heroes. Oh heavens. The 5 Hangs.

Birch: 5 Hangs? What are you talking about Lela?

Maharajalela: It's the 5 Hangs from Melaka. Oh, they were my heroes. I heard so much about them.

Raja
Abd: You mean Tuah, Jebat, Kasturi, Lekir and Lekiu?

Maharajalela: Yes! Yes! Tuan hamba! Tuan Hamba!

Birch: Oh, this is too much for me. I am dizzy. Please is there a place where we could rest.

Maharajalela: Tuanku, why don't you and Mr. Birch go to that small hut over there? I'll get the Super 5.

Birch: Your Majesty, I don't know what's actually happening. All of a sudden meeting here. Could it be chance?

Raja
Abd: I am puzzled too Birch. What's the meaning of this?

Maharajalela: Tuanku, Birch, let me introduce to you the Super 5 and guess who else I found?

Birch: Mat Kilau? Hang Li Poh? Tok Janggut? Oh, I am really dizzy.

Stranger: Birch, lela, 5 Hangs, Yap, Li Poh, Where are Sultan Mahmud, Tun Perak, The Sepoy Squadron?

Birch: Who are you? How do you know our names? What's the meaning of all this?

Stranger: Our Chief Lord Al-Rasheed has taken so much trouble to get all of you resurrected.

Maharajalela: Ressurrected? You mean we were dead?

Stranger: Yes, a long time ago. Here are your instructions. Read them carefully. Do as you are told and we will send you back otherwise you soul would be trapped in this dimension forever.

Birch: This envelope has got my name on it. Let me see. What is this? MyKad! It's got my image on it. Here are the instructions. Go to SK SG Gelugor in Penang on the 8th of March. Present this MyKad and you will be ushered to a queue. In the room at the end of the queue you would be given 2 pieces of paper. Write a across in the box against the Dacing symbol on each paper. Fold them and you would be directed to slot them into two transparent boxes.

Maharajalela: Mine is the same accept I have got to go to Rembau. What is this parcel here? Kain Pelikat? What is this? RM50.00?

Yap Ah Loy: Aiya kawan ah. Lu tau ka mana itu Sungai Siput?

15 comments:

Mat Salo said...

Kadiwale... or is it Kaninabe..?

This is the place to cum to relieve the erection stress...

Ke-la-sik!

Kata Tak Nak said...

MS,
Please do come. Glad I could help. For more serious erection stress contact Angeline Yam

Anonymous said...

Che gu,

Wah duh, hilang capek gue baca,
tak kering idea che gu. Come to
think of it, those of us who are
away from Malaysia, entah hantu
mana yg vote on our behalf!

Inderjeet

Zawi said...

Chegu,
Just back from KB. Tired but still can move my fingers to come to your site and felt rejuvenated with your story of Ressurrection. Any similarity in meaning to the erection stress mentioned by mat salo?
Anyway the clever people on an island down south counted that there are more than 8,000 people of more than 100 years old being ressurrected. There will be more of them if they were to take rhe above 90 yrs old into consideration.
They said this 12th GE is the most transparent as tranparent boxes will be used to put the ballots into. Won't you agree with me?

tokasid said...

Salam Che'gu:

Maharajalela: Ah Loy...did you see the 2 taiping groups that fought over who should be taiko or not?

Yap Ah Loy; haiyaa....latok ah! On my way here I got see them ma. They say the got the letters this stranger is giving us now one maa..But they don't want to come along maa..

Birch: Why is that so Mr Yap?

Yap Ah Loy; I heard they got say ah...why come if get so little maa..they say ah..if give them taiping again or Kinta Valley to them for mining ah..they come laa..some more ah...they say they now like that rocket man father-son team...so they don't want to come also maa...because the letter said you must put a cross mark at the Dacing,so they no need come one maa...

Birch: what about me? I'm still a British citizen ye' know! I don't think I'm eligible to vote here in Tanah Melayu.

Stranger: Its okay Bitch!...ooppss..Birch. Nobody is gonna know about you.We can dress you in Baju Melayu.Or maybe a BN T-shirt and cap will do for you,bitch! Sorry...sorry...Mr Birch.And you're gonna vote in Kg Gajah.

Birch: Okay...but wait! Is Kitul still there? I don't want to meet him again there ye know? I can still feel the stab he gave me...

Maharajalela: Hey everbody...look over there..its Sultan Mansor Shah and Tun Perak. Ampun Tuanku sembah patik harap di ampun. Apa khabarannya tuanku dan mamaknda Bendahara Tun Perak?

Sultan Mansor Shah: I am fine datok. Oh..Adinda raja Abdullah juga ada di sini..how are you adinda?

Raja Abdullah: I'm fine kekanda.Ah..mamak bendahara Tun Perak.You look fine. How are you ols chap?

Tun Perak: Thank you Tuanku . I'm okay and my bizniz is doing very well.

Yap Ah Loy: Wah..you got do bizniz ah! What bizniz maa...maybe I can be your sleeping partner.

Tun Perak: I'm in the Nasi Kandaq line. i picked that up after some sleepy guy officiated a nasi kandaq joint in Australia. But mine is only in Melaka.However I have to relocate from Masjid Tanah to Jasin.

Yap Ah Loy: Why?? Masjid Tanah no good ah?

Tun Perak: No..no...Masjid Tanah is okay initially.But they have so many pigs is Masjid Tanah la apek. They say pigs have to relocate but apparently no one is doing that. But me and Sultan Mansor will need to vote in Masjid Tanah...banyak cilaka one.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Inder,
Habis la your vote. Who knows someone with your IC is voting in KB?

Kata Tak Nak said...

Pak Zawi,
Kalau buleh mereka nak bawak bayi-bayi untuk mengundi. Silap-silap, cucu Pak Lah yang baru tu pun mengundi jugak.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Doc,
Yap: Apa pasat dia olang panggil kita olang mali undi? Apa sikalang malaya talak olang mau undi ka? Wa tengok ala manyak olang? Wa, hantu pun muleh undi ka? Ini Malaya manyak demokelasi ha. Sama hantu pun kasi chan mau undi.

tengkuhaslinda said...

cikgu,
u dah tengok ke memo bantahan UMNO cawangan bayan baru terhadap Norman (calon BN ganti Mansor)? kalau belum nanti i mail kan!

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

aiyahhh...pak si wong wah, Ah Loy to vote for Sam.

how about Leftenan Adnan? Rembau? and Tok janggut to vote for Awe Adek?

Kata Tak Nak said...

tengkuhaslinda,
Belum, please mail kan.
terima kasih

monsterball said...

kata tak nak....the blogger...Amin Iskandar..also known as Black put out similar scripts...saying given by 'big easy" blogger.
Are yours also from him.....or your own creations?
Anyway....with the intentions to make visitors laugh and be happy here is welknown by your generous heart.
Keep it up!!
And just 6 days from now...it is not the end of the world.....but the beginning of a change in government..to stop UMNO to wreck our country further with their lies and bullshits.
After that..maybe we can meet face to face with a cigar and coffee.

monsterball said...

Kerp....oh kerp...And how many times have we seen...at the dying last second..a goal is scored!!
And if that game of Arsenal is not fixed....it is like believing a wrestlings...over and over again..it is real....yet so many knows ...every match is a show...get the thrill of it all....go and have fun.It is the youngsters that are being bullshitted.
With one point differences...next game at MU stadium....watch out the odds.
kata tak nak ...SECRETLY KNOW...alot of games are fixed......but will not talk about it..to spoil kerp's fun and his trills.
I don't mean to do that also....but that last second goal...I pity the betters....enjoying so much....now pay the price...to bookies....more than a ticket price to the stadium........hahahahahaha

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

mr goh,

i'm sticking to what i believe but would love to take in what you mentioned on the OT game between the 2. if the league's rigged, and arsenal comes out triumphant, i'm all for it.

yapchongyee said...

YAPCHONGYEE,
5a Prinsep Road, Attadale,
Western Australia.
Email :yapchongyee@yahoo.com.au,
Blogg :http://yapchongyee.blogspot.com



JUST TWO QUESTION FOR JUDGE ZAINON BINTI MOHD. ALI
& MR DAVID HOH


I have just responded to the TRIVIA & RAMBLINGS of the fevered mind of Mr David Hoh my wife’s counsel & solicitor. I have written a lot that charged Judge Zainon binti Mohd. Ali with criminal behaviour and with aiding & abetting the 3 criminals Stephen Lim Cheng Ban, Wong Kem Chen & Kwong Sea Yoon.

In fact having written volumes on this subject, THE WHOLE STORY CAN BE SUMMED UP IN LAW BY JUST 2 QUESTIONS (1) For Judge Zainon binti Mohd. Ali, and (2)A 2nd question for Mr David Hoh.

(1)QUESTION FOR JUDGE ZAINON BINTI MOHD. ALI :

DID YOU NOT APPROVE 2 CONFLICTING APPLICATIONS TO THE RESPONDENTS (A)1ST APPROVED THEIR APPLICATION FOR SECURITY FOR COSTS; AND UPON ENFORCEMENT OF SAID ORDER FOR SECURITY FOR COSTS, YOU PROCEEDED FURTHER TO APPROVE TO RESPONDENTS AN ORDER FOR STRIKING OUT PETITION FOR ALLEGEDLY SHOWING NO CAUSE OF ACTION. You & respondents had ENFORCED THEIR SECURITY FOR COSTS BUT REFUSED TO ALLOW PETITIONER TO PROCEED TO TRIAL AS REQUIRED BY THE LAW OF CIVIL PROCEDURE.

(2)QUESTION FOR Mr david hoh :

DID YOU NOT FAIL OR MORE LIKELY WITH HELD FILING A RESPONSE/DEFENSE TO DISMISS STEPHEN LIM CHENG BAN’S nonsensical application to strike out said petition after HAVING ENFORCED RESPONDENTS’ ORDER FOR SECURITY FOR COSTS. No trial means no costs and security for costs means that petitioner’s money is set aside by the order for security for costs to FUCKING PAY FOR THE TRIAL IN CASE PETITIONER LOSE HER CASE.

It is that fucking simple and this Malaysian Federal Court Judge Zainon binti Mohd. Ali FUCKING APPROVED THE FUCKING ORDER FOR STRIKING OUT PETITION FOR SHOWING NO CAUSE OF ACTION. Is this not COMICAL, a fucking MALAYSIAN FEDERAL COURT JUDGE DOES NOT KNOW THE LAW.

Why has David Hoh (counsel for my wife) taken upon himself to DEFEND Judge Zainon binti Mohd. Ali ? He should be defending my wife ! I honestly can tell you why. Judge Zainon binti Mohd. Ali IS NOT FUCKING FLUENT IN ENGLISH. She fucking cannot write and speak ENGLISH, therefore she gets David to defend her in a public forum.

Let it be known that Judge Dato Zainon binti Mohd. Ali is a serving Federal Court Judge of Malaysia; and I say it with absolute confidence that Judge Zainon binti Mohd. Ali is an illiterate and I have called her on many times & at many public Bloggsites and I have written on many occasions with copy of letters to all & sundry that Judge Zainon Binti Mohd. Ali acted in a criminal manner and committed several criminal offences while she acted as the presiding judge of my wife’s case.

It is fucking disgraceful that Mr David Hoh had to ambush me in his letter printed in the Malaysian Today website. I always send a copy of any letter that I write to anyone and every letter that I posted on my BLOGG was received by the person that I write about; that is to allow the person to reply; but David Hoh wrote to Malaysian Today on the 1st of July but he did not in any way make it known to me of his letter. Therefore, I did not get the opportunity to reply until yesterday when I checked my achieve on GOOGLE.COM 4 fucking months ! David you are a fucking coward and a chicken shit. Anyway, he bloggs on the Malaysia Today website and I cannot get access to that website because I cannot afford to subscribe to Malaysia Today.

However, to be fair David need to publish on a website that I can get to reply. He can go to my blogg, the CICAK, http://malay-sia.blogspot.com/2007/12/malaysia-is-3rd-rate-3rd-world.html, AND SEVERAL OTHER WEBSITES. David it is only decent to want a response from the person you write about.

PS. It is quite for you to inform Judge Zainon binti Mohd. Ali that I had called her a CRIMINAL. The phone No for A-G is 388889362 and the Phone No. for Chief Judge Malaya is 38888 4522

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