Saturday, 29 March 2008

The Formula

Oh, for heaven's sake stop it la Pak Lah. Haven't we gone through this drama before? Haven't we seen it all? Didn't you show us how you can make promises, only to cross your fingers behind? Come on man, if you are going to do it again, at least try something new man. Try a novel approach, something that would fool the people again into believing that you really mean it this time.

Pak Lah the last time you said you were going for corrupt buggers, you hauled up ikan bilis only. Of course the people thought that you were teasing them with these ikan bilis and they waited anxiously for you to land the Megalodons. They waited and waited but still no Megalodons, heck not even ikan kembung man, only ikan bilis. Did you know that many died waiting?

Yeah, I heard that you admitted that it could be because you were slow in making changes that the people were angry at your government. Well, let me tell you this. You were not slow, you were standing still, you were not moving at all. You made a tortoise feel like an F1 mean speed machine.

Okay, so you realised you were slow. Okay let's say we buy that, but up till now you have not even started the engine yet. When you say something at least have the decency to show that you mean it. No we are not asking you to cry to show that you really mean it. We are asking you to stop crying and get to business. Ahmad Said's tears are tears of joy that now the RM1 billion a year is at his disposal; Mahathir's tears were tears of a desperate old man hoping to cling on to power, your unshed tears are for what? Get up man and crack the whip. Don't use the whip from a pondan stingray la. Use the one that took that crocodile hunter down. Use one that sends shivers down to the balls.

Oh, I see, you are asking why all of sudden I am talking about this when people are talking about Shahidan and Lim Guan Eng and Deris and Ahmad Said and the person you have forgotten, Anwar Ibrahim, and that senile old man who can't retire quietly who asked the tribunal to apologise, apa nama dia, ah, he's not important, and The Agong? Well let me tell you why I am shouting my throat coarse.

Do you know what's deja vu? I am sure you know; that I can give you. You are definitely not a Zam or a Mike Tyson wannabe. Well lately I have been having a bout of deja vu. The press were going ga ga about an inspector hauled up for demanding money, about some very insignificant people being taken in for questioning regarding corruption and today I read that a town councillor in JB is released on police bail also regarding corruption.

Your MSM is going to town with this news like they did when you first assume the Premiership. Remember? I am sure you do. So between these cases and those old ikan bilis cases, what is new? Nothing, nada, zilch, kosong, mote (egg in tamil). Hey at least get someone bigger to show that you mean business. You admitted to being slow but I think you lied. You were not slow, that was your full throttle speed. You just can't move, can you?

Let me tell you what to do if you harbour any hope of performing a comeback but the way I see it, things don't look too good. Imagine a kindergarten football team whose players are blindfolded and have their legs tied together playing against the mighty Brazillian team with full complements. Imagine again that you are the captain of that kindergarten team and you would get my drift. But then again nothing is impossible, so they say, lets say you want to get yourself out of the deep shit you are in now, very much of your own making, may I add, the thing you should do is make a big impression, no, make it a thunderous impression. How, you ask? Now you are talking and I have just the proposition for you. Read on.

The way to show that you mean business when you say you want to fight corruption is to order the ACA to arrest a few ministers for corruption. They must be full cabinet ministers either serving or retired. The arrest must be shown on prime time TV. If possible lead the team yourself. Hey you are the PM, you can assume any role that you want, except King and Agong la, if you know what is good for you. Take them to court the very next day and in full view of the people via live telecast; ( damn it, declare a national holiday la so that the whole country can watch, that also I must teach you ka? Hey, the people love holidays la) strip them bare of all their misdeeds. After finding them guilty, you can either jail them or shoot them, nobody is going to make a fuss about it.

What? Where are you going to find the people? Just look to your left and to your right; in front of you and at your back, they are all there. Just go ini mini maini mo, and the person your finger touches after saying these magic words is sure to be a corrupt bastard. Do that everyday of the week for as long as you can (which I don't think would be long) and maybe, just maybe, you could get your ratings up a wee bit.

What? You can't do it? Too many important people around you? Hmm lets see. Okay we go to plan B. This is easier. Empty your office cabinets and drawers and take all you personal belongings. Why should you do that, you ask? Must I tell? In front of all these people?


Zawi said...

You are the teacher teaching this young old man by the name of Abdullah Ahmad on how to do his part of the bargain for returning him to power.
I doubt that he is able to learn anything being the dunce that he is.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Oh I know that. It's just my way of showing that they are doing it again. Catching small fries and the tv screaming that the government is serious about corruption. As far as he taking any notice, I seriously doubt it.

Anonymous said...

No, he want to learn one ! But he scared shit that when he recites "ini mini maini mo" the thing may land on him - then what to do lar ?

monsterball said...

Dear ALL...Sheih's mother just passed away.
Please pray for her.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Thanx for the news.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Or also the finger points to SIL?

Snowflake said...

Firstly, my deepest condolence to Sheih's family. (Inna lillahi waina lillahi rajiun)
I agree with anonymous. Abdullah Badawi have no guts to point even to one of 'them' because he knew one of 'them' will be pointing at him too. He he... to Abdullah Badawi, lay back, earn a little respect by just STEPPING DOWN. That's my honest advise.

zorro said...

Chegu....I have read so many open letters to the PM. You get top billing for this piece. It was a two fingers jab at the eyes and a good synchronized kick a la MU, right between the legs. Tonite we bungkus Aston Villa.

monsterball said...

kata tak nak...If you may permit announce for your K.L.readers.....
Sheih's mom will be buried at 11am today{Saturday} at Shah Alam Islam Burial Ground....section 26, S.Alam. Thanks.

wanshana said...

"whip from a pondan stingray"

HAHAHAHAHA! Good one, Che'gu!

Kata Tak Nak said...

Thanx again. I am sure that is useful info.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Yes, all this while he has been using that whip which is just not effective

Kata Tak Nak said...

Thanx. We show them Villans didn't we?

Kata Tak Nak said...

Of course all the other finfers would be pointing at him and deservedly so.

monsterball said...

If one read and study Dollah's speeches...he is the same old shit man....never change.
And so are the few UMNO ministers.
Dollah dare to go to Penang and said....UMNO will capture back all the seats and even more.
He has totally forgotten...all his pre elections predictions..proven wrong...and what did the voters spoke to him..that he said .he listened and understood.
Instead of paying attention and Selangor's give free water by June...up for certain limit... the benefit the poor....and to realise..the present MB is hinting great mismangements by Toyo or corruptions by his own government....not one word or comment .....for such good news to the poor. What does he understands?
Again back to Penang.... Lim Eng Guan..hinted lands were sold to UMNO own relatives....yet he is there to say....UMNO will capture back all seats. what type of logic is that? Why can't he debate with Eng Guan on this corruptions is what voters are gainst?
And in is a plain slap on the face for him and ... UMNO...what happen?? thick skin and ignore to talk exactly like Samy Vellu...but a seasoned snake....he can also say now he supports the release of the 5 Hindrafs ISA throw a big surprise to Dollah...insulting Dollah...right now.
Actually...after elections...UMNO is proving to be digging it's own grave and be buried for good.
But for all is a waste of tax payers pay salaries to these guys...doing nothing...but talking cock all the time.
It is the same old UMNO...getting worst and worst.
You know why???
They are talk cock to divert our attentions.


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