Although the Drug Rehabilitation Programme's success in Malaysia is open to debate, the government has decided to initiate another programme to give hardcore addicts a new lease of life. This new programme would be fashioned along the lines of the Pusat Serenti Programme. Programme participants would be called inmates and they would lead a regimented lifestyle for 2 years.
An official of the Home Ministry said that the government realised that the results of the March 2008 General Elections saw an urgent need for such a programme. The inmates in this programme are not drug addicts but rather defeated politicians especially from the ruling party and their supporters. It is reported that a high number of people are reported to be lurking around party headquarters in lounge suits handing out cash and batik sarongs to passers by and smiling.
When apprehended by the police these people rattled out nonsensical gibberish. The one thing in common amongst all of them is that all of them would utter the word 'Datuk' in their gibberish. They would then demand to see the Prime Minister.
A spokesman for the Health Ministry said that the government find this strange phenomenon very disturbing and are afraid for the safety of the people in general. A prominent psychiatrist said that these people could turn violent and hold demonstrations as demonstrated by the recent event in Penang.
Professor John Smith, head of the Election Psychology Department of Harvard University said this phenomenon is called Post-election-very-cocky-before-elections-and-traumatised –after-reality-sinks syndrome or Cocky Ass. This is a very rare disease. It only happens in countries where a ruling party that has been ruling for about 50 years suddenly suffers humiliating defeats. The expert also said that the outbreak of Cock Ass would be followed by an exceptionally high number of Mercedes and BMWs being put up for sale or repossessed by banks and finance institutions.
On a related development, MAS has reported a sharp drop in bookings for flights to Europe especially Paris and London. Cancellations of flight tickets to both these destinations are also reported to be unusually high.
As a stop gap measure, these chronic sufferers would be housed at the PWTC where reruns of previous General Assemblies would be aired continuously. Each of them would be given a plastic keris, to play with as temporary therapy.