Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Rilek La Brader

PM: Rashid, Rashid why you make me look bad?

Rashid: Look bad? What did I do DS. I have never done anything wrong to you DS. You are my everything DS. You are the answer to my lonely…..

PM: Stop singing la idiot. Dah buat salah nak sorok pulak.

Rashid: Please, please DS, what did I do?

PM: I was boasting to our foreign dignitaries that I dare do what Mahathir dared not. I told them about the indelible ink and how it would put a stop to this claim of multiple voting. They were very impressed. They congratulated me. I was in heaven because never in my life was I ever praised. Now, without even consulting me, you come out with a statement that there will be no indelible ink. What is this Rashid? Hang PM ka aku PM?

Rashid: Cool down, cool down DS. I have an explanation for it. It's very simple really and it's for your own good also. I am doing it for the BN DS, believe me.

PM: It better be good because your position is hanging precariously, you know? Actually I was thinking of making you the Governor of Melaka after your retirement but after what happened, you'd be lucky if you could be Penghulu of Lahaq Yoi.

Rashid: Governor of Melaka? Really DS? I never taught you valued my services that much as to consider me for such an auspicious post.

PM: Hey, hey, don't dream la, I was only joking la. There are many retired politicians aiming for that post so forget it.

Rashid: I know you were joking. Anyway, initially we taught the hantus that we had lined up would be enough to do the job. Then we started getting disturbing, very disturbing feedbacks. Don't you get those feedbacks?

PM: What feedbacks, you know I don't like to read so Khairy is handling them. Why, what's wrong with the feedbacks?

Rashid: Aiyo, DS, the swing is more than we had expected. There is no way we could get enough hantus. Our suppliers from Myanmar, Indonesia, Philippines, Nepal and Tibet said that they need time, which is something we don't have DS. So I have to do the next best thing.

PM: You mean multiple voting? Like the last time?

Rashid: I don't know what else to do DS.

PM: The people are making noise la Rashid? They call me flip-flop la, sleepy head la, macam-macam lagi and you are not helping me any la? Why am I surrounded by fools?

Rashid: Screw the people la DS. We have been doing that for years what? I am sure Zam could think of something.

PM: That stammering idiot ka? I can't even get him on the phone la. That idiot is using somebody's prepaid number now. He doesn't want me to call him.

Rashid: Yes, la Datuk. He is in dire straits. He might lose so he is going all out.

PM: Anyway, people are asking if we are serving indelible ink at our victory do? They dare ask what flavour is the ink? Then some even suggested that we give Sharizat, Rafidah and the other old ladies as make-up. Where do I put my face Rashid? You want me to paint my face with the ink so that people won't recognise me? Anyway, how much does the ink cost?

Rashid: Only a few million la DS. Since when do we care about something that costs a few million. The ink is being shipped now DS?

PM: The ink is not here yet? What if we really need them?

Rashid: We could always coin up a story what? Why worry DS? We have RTM 1 and 2 and TV3, B and 9 and Bernama news and the newspapers. Rilek la brader.

23 comments:

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hahahhaha...now i realised one thing in common between rash and zam. dua2 gagap...

*eh cikgu, where in the world is lahaq yoi?

yapchongyee said...

IN DEFENSE OF Dato Seri Anwar

Hey! Dr Chandra Muzaffar are you trying to dazzle the poor Malaysians with your “Doctor” whatever that stands for; please la Doc. That Phd. Does not mean shit, It does not make you more intelligent and it does not neam that you are any smater than when you started. A Phd. Just means that you had taken an in depth study of one aspect of a subject and as a matter of fact a Phd merely leads to a career in teaching, Our Asian people are so awed by that Phd., thinking that these Phd. Types Know it all, nothing is further from the truth.

Comrade Chandra to my way of thinking, and by your claims made against Dato Seri, I say that you are bloody naïve. We are all humans (I think so) and we have emotions and full of bias and prejudices; and above all we are in truth all racist. I am racist & you are racist, and the only difference between a Mahatma Ghandi type saint and an ARYAN Nazi thug is that most of us who dare claim that he is not racist (you can leave me out because I am racist) are those who’ve got a two bit claim to having higher education, a wanna be intelltual. Comrade Chandra says that Dato Seri in the past had been consistently not in favour of Chinese and maybe he is truthful, while Dr Lim Kheng Yaik claims that Dato Seri is chamileon and in Lim Kheng Yaik’s experience with Dato Seri he could be speaking the truth. Bearing in mind that we all carry a lot of baggage are we correct in our estimation of the man. We are all very complex and we are all driven by self interests; therefore what oue see is not really what is the man ! We can never tell what a man will do in all circumstances because what we see as the man is only the tip of the iceberg.

Politics is all about perception and creating an IMAGE of the politician, and we just cannot know what the whole man is in truth. For Dr Chandra & Dr Lim Kheng Yaik to say that they both ahd worked with Dato Seri and that they know the man is ingenious. Both these Dr.’s are playing their support for the BN and not quite really to give an assessment of Dato Seri for what he is factually, because that will be beyond their capability. Having said that I say both of them are naïve THAT IS NOT HOW THE GAME OF POLITICS IS PLAYED. We can only take Dato Seri at his word and the issue is therefore ARE WE HAPPY WITH HIS PROGRAMME FOR HIS GOVERNMENT ? That to my mind is all that we need to ask and we will have to take him at his word; because we just cannot do otherwise. WE DO NOT NEED TO KNOW WHAT IN TRUTH HE IS LIKE AND THAT BY OUR UNDERSTANDING HE WILL OR WILL NOT DLIVER WHAT HE HAD PROMISED FOR THE ELECTION. There is no need to go too far out of the way; ask yourselves what had BN promised for the last election (1999) and did BN deliver ? I do not think so !

Dato Seri and the United Front of DAP, PAS and Keadilan HAS MADE IT THEIR PLATFORM that if elected he and his United Front will deliver a GOVERNMENT FOR ALL MALAYSIANS AND TO STEP BACK FROM RACE BASED POLITICS. That is what we must accept for the truth; and if he ever fail to deliver then the next election vote him and his United Front out. This is what will therefore develop into a TWO PARTY POLITICAL STRUCTURE. Is this not what we want, and what is the profit if we just not believe him and we merely take the word og the two Dr.’s both of them are pretentious and know it all. I say do not listen to them shooting hot air. VOTE OPPOSITION and let 2 party politics develop.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Kerp,
Lahaq Yoi is either in Tasek Gelugor or Kepala Batas, I am not so sure but surely a stone's throw away from our PM's place.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Yap,
Yes, Chandra talked so much about Justice and yet he embraced the enemies of justice. Who's the chameleon?

ruyom said...

Lord Acton said, "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely." Over the years, I have learnt that this is in fact an absolute statement and no ordinary human is really exempted from it. We saw it in 10 years with Republican rule in America and we saw the same thing in Australia. Those with absolute power think, "you are with us or against us!" The Malaysian Government is no different.

After 50 years in office, since independence, the Malaysian Government is truly reflecting the epitome of the nature and culture of all such corrupted power. Ketuanan Melayu is the name of this game. The General Election is the therefore the classic opportunity for ordinary people to participate, to vote, and to make whatever changes are needed and felt in governance. It is always the ordinary people who really finally decide, never the party in power; although they have full control of all the levers of influence. Regardless, ultimately it is the individuals who walk up and can make a choice to define the difference.

As we now see in America, have seen in Australia, and again in Pakistan, determined and convicted people have the power to make change happen. Sometimes sacrifices are even needed. Benazir Bhutto died for what she believed and the people did believe her too. The former Australian PM lost his seat. The American people are also asking for change for all the corrupted rhetoric of power systems; and Obama seems to have given voice to all this yearning.

It is now going to be our turn. Are we mature enough to become a "developed nation?" Or, are we only condemned to remain a developing nation torn down by tribal and ethnic rhetoric of a feudal form? This article is an open one to all Malaysians to think of the reasons why we too must also vote for change in Malaysia; I am going to.

It is now an established fact, thanks to a climate of openness nurtured by the Pak Lah Administration that the Government of the Day not only has a lot of power but has continuously used and abused this power with very poor and corrupted governance. Such abuses of power, as become very evident and amplified by the Lingam case in particular. The almost absolute power has seriously contributed to the rise of corrupt practices across the board and throughout Federal, State and Local Governments. Such corruption has been happening over the last 27 years because of the weakening of the originally designed system of checks and balances.

The more than 2/3rd majority in Parliament is the singular core issue which makes for the Executive State; and, the resulting impotence of the judiciary is a directly related issue. The consequentially muzzled and blindly obedient media is the ultimate result of unchecked power. Bribery and corruption happens daily and directly before our very eyes. Shame in Malaysia is no more. Election goodies are being dished out without impunity; with total disregard for the Election Commission. They too are in cahoots with the government. The Law was even amended to allow the Chairman to continue for one more year! The government can therefore see no wrong, hear no wrong and do no wrong, so long as all their agents are "barisan actors."

Integrity agenda

Minister Rafidah used to say, she has no time for "role-players!" She only believes in assuming a role but never in playing a role. By this she means that everyone should be fully accountable for their every action. Really Minister, did you assume or play a role when you dished out all those APs to your "close friends" and allies? I am sure it was for the sake of developing the auto industry in Malaysia!

What about the new holiday boat bought for the PM in the name of the Yang Di-Pertuan Agong? Did you ask Pak Lah who is playing the role here? Was it Pak Lah or the King? And the new plane, whose money was used? What about the integrity agenda of the government? What about transparency and openness and greater accountability? What about the last Auditor General’s Report? Was any action taken against all those public servants who made million ringgit decisions without authority? I am talking about the responsible Secretary General or the Minister. Or, was it enough to blame clerks and charge junior officers with crimes? Why was not action taken against a known crooked person in the name of Raja Zakaria of Port Klang? When he has obviously abused power for personal wealth, is that not ugly? All the government can do is merely drop him as a candidate? Was the AG asleep or was he directed not to take action? Are all State DPPs also under the Executive instructions? Did all these crooks do no wrong? Cannot you see their faults? What about the person who has for 27 years misled all Malaysian Indians, and not just the Tamils? What about the 9million Telecoms shares? Does he still get to make one last stand? Why and for what? His personal ego? Or, because Pak Lah has no moral authority to ask him to step down, being equally guilty of such ego trips ?

Therefore dear Malaysians, as we go into the 12th General Election period how must we really vote? Should we vote for a party leadership that has already been "exercising executive and absolute power for the last 55 years," or should we give the other side a chance for the first time in Malaysian history? I am going to argue for change, and therefore am asking you to also consider a vote for change and vote against arrogance. I give only three reasons for my preference.

First and foremost is the lack of political will for moral leadership demonstrated by the Pak Lah Administration after we gave him absolute power to make changes? He misused that power and authority. The current and incumbent Prime Minister, who preached and propagated the agenda of integrity, has failed to promote and sustain this agenda seriously and consistently.

Three obvious reasons

I therefore list below three obvious reasons:

1. The Police Complaints Commission has not been set up because the Prime Minister got cold feet and realized that the corrupt Police Force can act to sabotage the Government’s agenda. The abuses of the Police were well documented by the Royal Commission Report. Therefore, what we see now recommended as a bill in Parliament is a lame and inconsequential Commission which is a watered down version of the original Complaints Commission. Why the cop out?

2. The Parliamentary Committee on Integrity which was given a two year mandate which has not been fulfilled because the Chairman of the original Committee (a Minister) resigned because the public services did not respect the Parliamentary Committee. He was supported by two Ministers who worked for opposite purposes. The PM then had no moral authority to deal with this issue and instead let things slide, which led to the resignation of the original Chairman, another Minister in Pak Lah’s Cabinet.

3. With all exposures about corruption in governance, especially the ones promoted, allowed and led by the Media, it is surprising that the PM who argued for integrity and against corruption could not execute his own policies against "the Klang railway gate-keeper turned Raja" or the "close one-eye Member of Parliament?" Both were publicly made evident cases involving obvious corruption. The PM has no moral courage to do the right thing in the right way at the right time.

Therefore I conclude that there is no leadership integrity nor the requisite political will on the matter of the Nation’s Integrity Agenda, especially amongst the Cabinet, or the Chief of Executives, called the Prime Minister. The Integrity Agenda remains an espoused theory, or a political ploy, with little or no confidence amongst the people that there is any intention to carry through with the discipline required to instill such good and honorable values. At least, I remain unconvinced. It is still a worthwhile sounding agenda with little or no follow-up and follow-through in the immediate future. Maybe it was only intended to create awareness amongst the public officials; a task therefore assigned to the Integrity Institute Malaysia and their NGO allies with little of no power or teeth to do much else. Even the ACA is really no different because it reports only to the Prime Minister, instead of the Parliament! Same with the Attorney General.

Second, the PM has always argued that he is the PM of all Malaysians and asked Malaysians to "work with him and not for him." He has yet to convince me that he abides by this servant leadership model. Although he writes personal notes to Pastors and Elders, and most non-Muslim leaders, when it came to the Hindraf’s real issues, this PM found no time to read the document which was personally presented by the Hindraf leaders to his office in Putrajaya. Instead, they were left to organize the march for their cause, because they were not heard or listened to. But, when it became demonstrated that their concerns were real and serious (with 30,000 supporters), and after he met with non-MIC NGOs, small actions began to be taken for the case of these marginalized Indians. Why did the Barisan Government have to wait all these years to do what a "PM of all Malaysians should have done" without being prompted, if in fact he is the PM of all Malaysians, and not just UMNO? Did they all not know the real issues? Or, is it that such appeals, even from the MIC, really fell on deaf ears within the context of UMNO belligerence?

The NEP originally had a primary goal of "eradicating poverty regardless of race or economic function." Pak Lah knows that because he was part of the team which drafted it with PM Tun Razak. What happened to all such targets, even after 37 years of the NEP? The bottom 30% of Malaysian society needs to be heard and sometimes they can only do it via demonstrations, because the Government has become deaf to their concerns. Moreover, what I totally cannot accept is that in a democratic country like Malaysia, peaceful demonstrations to give voice to such issues are now not even allowed (except if it is Barisan-sponsored) because it is deemed to be against the public interest. Since when can the corrupt police alone define public interest, when the Government of the day has not taken heed to the genuine needs of these poor and marginalized Indians; which even the Government has publicly now accepted? PM Pak Lah’s "work with me not for me" edict appears to refer only to Government Departments and towards blind administrative compliance rather than for change and improvement defined by others. Working with NGOs, the Bar Council, and the Civil Society does not yet seem part and parcel of this agenda. Why?

Thirdly and finally, the PM’s Islam Hadhari appears to be merely another publicity and political gimmick to ward off the more serious and sincere agenda of PAS’ Islamic State ambition. From an anti-Islamic state stance taken by the BN over the years, which is consistent with the Secular Constitution and statements of the first three former PMs, suddenly now, even the DPM of Pak Lah’s Government and son of the second PM has stated that Malaysia is an Islamic State. That singularly cheats and lies to all non-Muslims and denies the original Social Contract, and undoes the original spirit of the Alliance. Worse still this cheats, lies and breaches the formal contract with Sabah and Sarawak about the original intentions of the 1963 Malaysia Agreement.

Consequences of 'false declaration'

The many consequences of this "false declaration" are the following:

1. Most public servants on the ground can now decide to take on role of "moral guardians" of the enforcement of the Islamic State agenda. That is why "non-Muslim couples holding hands are now charged in court," "32 bibles are confiscated," the word "Allah is banned for Bahasa Malaysia bibles," and the increasing Islamization of public schools is evident.

2. Lina Joy, a genuine convert to Christianity from Islam was denied a Constitutionally guaranteed right to freedom of religion based on her own conscience. Personal conscience cannot be denied.

3. Temples and other places of worship are not given proper locations and instead 100-year old temples built during the British Colonial rule are destroyed based entirely and purely on the "privatization of the land development for housing purposes." Whose responsibility, other than that of the Government is it to safeguard and protect the interests on these "Tamil community settlements in estates;" when the land developers are going to reap millions vide their property development. There is also the general problem of the non-allocation of proper land for the construction of places of worship by the Government. This singular issue caused a Catholic Church in Selangor to be delayed for almost 26years. Moreover, issues related to construction of churches have to be approved by the Islamic Council at the State level. Why is the Federal Constitution and its guarantees becoming subject to State level legislation, especially on non-Islamic religions?

4. The issue of body-snatching after death. Why would this face of Islam find expression under Islam Hadhari? If in fact, Islam is a peaceful religion, as propagated, is not this "after-death" care and concern rather disingenuous? In many of these cases, the original spirit of the Federal Constitution has been violated, with Judges in Civil Courts appearing to be more Muslim than the Federal Constitution’s supreme authority it gives itself.

Based on the above three reasons, I would like to appeal to all peace-loving Malaysians who have in the past almost blindly voted for the Government of National Unity, with a promise of continued harmony and peace, to please reconsider and to vote for change. We need to tell the Government of the Day that the voices of ordinary people do count and not just those of their 3000 UMNO members at their General Assembly.

What is the absolute worst that can happen, even if most change-minded people find the courage to try and make a difference? I still do not see more than about 75-80 seats falling to the Opposition. The Barisan Government will continue to rule but without the traditionally arrogant attitude of the past few years. Their keris-wilding antics will stop. The Barisan Rakyat (of the people, for the people and by the people) would have spoken and if the Government does not still take the ordinary people seriously, then and only then, will we ever dream of real change in power for the first time in Malaysia. But, why do we have to wait for that? That can only happen in the next General Election. It is far more positive to give the early signal now and let the Government learn that ordinary people have their own limits and that part of the message of a developed nation is having the option to change the Government. After all, that is part and parcel of evolving into a mature democracy.

May God continue to have mercy on Malaysia; by denying the Government their two-thirds majority! That is my sincere prayer!

Mat Salo said...

Lahaq Yoi?

Maybe ketua kampong is too good for this dude.. Banishment to Simpang Renggam is better..

I do believe BN now (if cerita calung2 dia kena boo masa berceramah sana sini -Mawi or no Mawi - is any indication)is in panic mode.

Time to PULL ALL THE STOPS eh bro Rash?

Quote: "If you want to rig, better rig BIG brudder!"

Raden Galoh said...

This morning, while reading about it and shouted: Stupid rashid! Stupid!, MambangHijau said: Mana you nak tau entah2 ini strategy terancang?

Me:*GulP* Dalam hati: Apekebende terancang if makan diri sendiri...tak baca constitution lagi tu!membuka kepincangan betul!

Zawi said...

Chegu,
What is RM2.4 million for the ink when the norms for wastage are now in excess of RM2 Billion?

tokasid said...

Salam Che'gu:

PM:
Oii Rashit! Awat semalam press conference Musa kata dia yang nasihat hang suruh batai kan guna dakwat?

Rashit: DS..tak kesahlah sapa yang kata. Kalu saya yang cakap nanti orang kata saya saja-saja suka ubah sana sini supaya BN menang. Ds tau lah kan...puak pembangkang ni dah tak percaya saja langsung. jadi kalu Musa yang cakap kata jangan guna dakwat orang percaya lah.

PM: Musa cakap orang percaya? Biaq betoi Rashit.Yang aku tahu Musa cakap sama lah macam hang cakap.Orang tak percaya.Tu yang si Patail pandai-pandai nak suruh ubah perlembagaan tu pasai apa?

Rashit: saya tak setuju kalau pinda perlembagaan supaya boleh guna dakwat.Susah kita lain kali DS...

PM: Susah ka? Mungkin masa tu aku tak jadi PM dah kot.Mampuih pi la kat hangpa masa tu.

Rashit: Tapi DS, mungkin masa tu menantu kesayangan DS jadi PM kot!

PM: Ya tak ya jugak.

Rashit: DS, saya dapat lapuran walau pun TV dan paper asyik masukkan iklan, nampaknya rakyat tak percaya jugak pada BN. Lepas tu saya rasa ada attempt dari pembangkang dan jaga pengundi-pengundi hantu kita DS.

PM: Aku pun di bagitau macam tu jugak.Habih nak buat lagu mana?

Rashit: saya dok ingat nak extend waktu mengundi sampai 12 tengahmalam DS. Kalau macam tu sempat lah yang mana ke Kelantan dan Trengganu balik ke negeri masing2 utk ngundi. Kalau sampai 12 tghmalam, yang sabah Serawak pun boleh saya import DS.

PM: Macam dulu buat di selangor tu ka? Yang undi sampai 7 malam tu?

Pashit: Ya DS. Amacam okay?

PM: Aku ngantok ni...nak tidoq sat. nanti hang bincang ngan menantu aku nak buat lagu mana. Bagi tau Musa ngan Gani sama supaya depa boleh cover line.

monsterball said...

Another witty and fun to read script.
Best of all..it does focus the true characteristics of those two.
Great effort!!

Kata Tak Nak said...

MS,
Apa yang kita belum kata? Semua kita dah kata kalau orang tak dengaq jugak, they ask for it la. Kekadang rasa letih dah tapi lawan tetap lawan.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Raden,
Saya rasa memang benda ni sudah dirancang. memang jahat depa ni. Just base on this alone they do not deserved to be voted in. Ini belum kira yang lain lagi.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Pak Zawi,
2 million has become small change to this elite Malays. What has become of them.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Doc,
Depa buat, kita buat script. Satu hari nanti kita tunjuk script2 ni kat cucu cicit kita. Biaq depa tau bahalol macam mana yang pimpin kita dan biaq depa tau yang kita tak mengalah. Lawan Tetap Lawan.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monty,
If they didn't do it, we wouldn't write about it would we?

monsterball said...

korect..korect..korect!
The beauty of your blog...we all talk same thing as all those against the government....not anti-government for the fun of it....but enough ...enough ..enough of their lies and deceits.
But most bloggers...put out so serious messages...and when you read or write....your head become so heavy with thick thick informations of TRUTHS...getting headaches so much...and no fun to release a laugh or two.
Yours...no tension la.
HOOI kerp!![copying RPK!!}...Saw a match bookies cannot get teams to take bribes??
Saw how MU play .with no bribes....against Lyon? From start to finish...played like hungry Tigers.
But the game tat shock me most..is Arsenal beating AC Milan....setting Champion out. Against saw games that do not takes bribes?
HOOI kerp!!..To night..Liverpool wil take bribe for sure. They need the money. They have two goals advantage...correct .correct...correct???
So best for bookies to bribe to to loose 3-0.. You think Liverpool dare to take this very bog bog bribe to loose?? Gerard may need to resign after this game....to play the game of poor looser.
all thins be said...kerp..it is nice to see two English teams in the last four...right now.
HOOI....kerp!!....take care and be well.

monsterball said...

HOOI yapchongyee....You are a real bastard....trying so hard to spam this blog.
Being faceless and nameless...as that cannot be your real name....and bet...you are not a Chinese too.....but a snake born with a human face...one step better than orang hutans....as Nik described UMNO members.
If you have balls of fire...show your face and details.
If not..go hide under your mother's sarong and cry for cerpai...or tosai...bloody idiotic irritating bastard .....you are!!

monsterball said...

HOOI...yapchongyee...We all agree with your defense for Anwar...but don't repeat and repeat long long messages la..which I suspect..you are not sincere...but if you do so sincerely.....please accept my apology.
You write so much...so response to this...9okay??

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monty,
Thanks for the complement and take it easy on Mr Yap there. He has been okay so far. Still at it with Kerpie about the bookies?

kbguy said...

haha.. This could be what really transpire between them. Where did you got those ideas sir ? its really funny...

monsterball said...

OK..yapchongyee...kata tak nak said....you are "OK" kaki here.
So ...my sincere apology again.

Kata Tak Nak said...

kbguy,
I only comment on issues that they themselves raise, so in a way you can say that it is they who give me the ideas.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monty,
Thank you very much. You are a true gentleman.

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