Sunday, 23 March 2008

Awat Hang Biadab Sangat?

Mak: Deris, Deris, berhenti main video game tu nak. Cepat pi siap. Sat lagi bas sekolah nak sampai. Cepat siap. Ni mak buat nasi dagang kat hang.

Deris: Awat la mak ni suka kacau chek? chek tengah dok best main mak kacau. Ha, tengok, baru tadi chek dah nak pancong dah kepala raja tu, mak bagi chek terkejut. Kacau la mak ni.

Mak: Awat la hang Deris, awat tak dengaq cakap ni. Nanti mak pulaih telinga hang jadi telinga besaq macam Dol tu baru hang tau. Berhenti main, cepat pi siap.

Deris: Chek dah pakat ramai-ramai dengan kawan tak mau pi sekolah hari ni la. 9 orang saja yang kata depa nak pi. Gang kami tak mau pi.

Mak: Ni semenjak bila pulak yang hang ada gang ni? Sapa kata hang buleh ponteng sekolah? Bapak hang tau kalau Deris, mampoih hang dia sebat.

Deris: Ala, mak ni, duduk diam sat buleh tak. Chek kata chek tak mau pi, chek tak mau pi la. Tak paham ka?

Mak: Hang pandai dok menjawab dengan aku Deris? Apa nak jadi dengan hang ni? Hang nak jadi orang tak guna? Hang mau orang meluat kat hang?

Deris: Ala, mak ni. Mak tak tau apa jadi. Kalau mak tau, mak tentu tak bagi chek pi sekolah.

Mak: Awat nak? Apa yang dah jadi? Awat, cikgu hang nak pukoi hang ka? Hang buat salah apa?

Deris: Tu la mak. Tak tau apa-apa nak marah chek. Hari ni, cikgu nak lantik ketua kelas. Chek dengan gang chek tak mau pi. Kami nak pulau kelas tu.

Mak: Pasai apa pulak hampa nak buat macam tu. Tak baik la Deris.

Deris: Awat pulak tak baik? Cuba mak pikiaq. Dalam kelas chek ada 32 orang. 22 orang sokong chek jadi ketua. 8 orang dok diam saja, depa tak kata apa. Lagi sorang tu melebih-lebih dok pi hemoi kat cikgu. Cikgu tolak cadangan kawan-kawan chek. Dia pilih yang lagi sorang tu. Mana achi macam ni mak? Depa pilih chek tapi cikgu pilih orang lain. Tahun lepas chek yang jadi ketua kelas. Tahun ni tak jadi, mana chek nak letak muka? Kawan Chek Idan tu kat sekolah lain. Dia pun macam tu jugak. Dia lawan mak. Kalau chek tak lawan malu la chek mak. Kalau chek tak jadi ketua kelas habis la chek, mak.

Mak: Habis apa pulak Deris?

Deris: Duit kelas tahun lepaih chek belanja kawan pi makan KFC. Lepaih tu chek beli baju dengan kasut. Belen tinggai sikit saja. Chek kata chek simpan dalam bank. Kalau orang lain jadi, habih tekeluaq la rahsia chek mak.

Mak: La, mana hang belajaq pi songlap duit kelas ni Deris? Mak tak ajaq hang buat macam tu. Hang tak tau ka dosa kalau songlap duit ni?

Deris: Ala sudah la mak. Chek tak mau pi, chek tak mau pi la. Biaq padan muka cikgu tu. Tinggai 9 orang saja dalam kelas. Kalau cikgu pilih jugak ketua kelas baru, kami semua nak berhenti sekolah. Padan muka depa.

Mak: Apa pulak padan muka depa? Padan muka hang la takdak sekolah. Baru la jadi Iblih.

Deris: Aah, chek tak peduli. Chek nak ajaq cikgu tu sikit. Berani dia nak buat lagu ni kat chek?

Mak: Astaghafirullah budak ni. mengucap Deris, mengucap. Tu orang kata derhaka kat cikgu Deris. Biadap tu. Tak baik Deris.

Deris: Alah, chek peduli apa? Kawan-kawan chek di kolompo tu semua sokong chek.

Mak: Ha la depa sokong hang. Depa di kolompo. Hang dudok sini. Orang sini bukan suka orang perangai macam ni Deris. Masyarakat sini semua hormat kat cikgu, Deris. Depa nanti meluat kat hang. Nanti depa kata hang korang ajaq pulak.

Deris: Aaah, hormat kat cikgu buat apa? Bukan dapat untung apa? Baik hormat kat kawan, tak kira la kawan tu bangsa apa? Asaikan dia buleh bagi kita senang cukup la?

Mak: Ni Deris, mak heran la. Hang kan pernah jadi Ketua kelas? Pasai apa pulak cikgu hang tak mau bagi hang jadi kali ni? Dia tau kot hang dok songlap duit kelas? Aku ada la dengaq orang cerita yang hang di sekolah jadi kepala samseng? Depa kata hang pi pecah kerusi orang, hang koyak buku agama orang, betoi ka Deris?

Deris: Kawan chek suka tempat duduk sorang budak tu. Tempat dia best, tepi tingkap buleh nampak luaq. Chek suruh la si samdol ni ubah tempat, dia tak mau ubah jadi chek pecah la kerusi dia, biaq padan muka dia.

Mak: Oi samsengnya anak aku lani? Tak padan dengan misai jarang-jarang dah jadi samseng pulak. Jangan la macam tu nak oi, pi la sekolah. Pi mintak maaf kat cikgu, jadi budak baik.

Deris: Fuyoo, jadi budak baik. Sorry la mak. Sudah la mak. Kawan chek si Atrik dengan Kerry nak mai. kami nak pi naik sampan. Kami nak race pakai layaq.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

PERHATIAN !!!!
Semua anggota polis diRaja Malaysia. juga semua anggota Tentera ... Tuanku telah dihina. Tangkap semua petualang bangsa ini. Jalankan hukuman yg setimpal. Sumbat ke ISA. PENGHKIANAT. Seharusnya hukuman tembak di laksanakan.

Itu pun kalau korang bukak zip seluar masih ada "barang" tu lagi.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Anon,
Kita tunggu dan lihat. Dengaq kata Said dah kena buang party jadi tambah lagi satu la pembangkang. Ada lagi kot?

tokasid said...

Mak: Derih...derih!! Tunggu sat mak nak habaq mai kat hang ni!

Derih: Laa mak ni...kerry ngan Atrik dok tunggu cek kat luaq pagaq dah tu...apa dia nya?

Mak: Ni hang dengaq mai sini. kalu hang tak pi kelaih dan hang lawan cakap Cikgu kalau hang buang dari sekolah lagu mana derih oii???

derih: kalu cikgu nak buang sekolah,buang lah cek tak heran aih!

Mak; kalu hang kena buang sekolah hang nak mengaji mana? Awat benak sangat tak tah hang ni?

Derih: cek bila-bila pun buleh di sekolah kat Kl nu...sini cek tak heran la mak...

mak: Hang ingat kalu hang dah tak jadi ketua derjah kawan hang di KL tu nak tulong hang ka? mak dengaq dalam sekolah di KL tu pun budak hat takdak daftar sekolah pun kawann hang ambek masuk kelaih...depa masuk kot pintu belakang. hang lagu mana? Depa kata pintu belakang dah katop pasai kelaih dah penuh?

Derih: cek tak peduli. kalu cikgu nak sumpah cek jadi penyu pun cek tak heran mak tau ka!!

Mak: Kalu sumpah jadi penyu tak pa derih oii...mak takut hang jadi bewak ka jadi beruk ka.....

Kata Tak Nak said...

Doc,
Mak: Deris, hang keluaq jugak mak sumpah hang jadi pondan Siam menega kat cho kit.

Aboo said...

Adoi..sebagai anak jati terengganu yg menetap di Kelantan,sebenarnya sapa2 dari BN yg perintah alamatnya tak berapa selamatlah Terengganu. Pulak tu minum kedai kopi mana2 sure kena kutuk je terengganu ni,secara tak langsung kena juga batang hidup ni.Sakit hati juga kadang2 tu!

Taktaulah nak kata apa dah soal isu sapa yg jadi MB Terengganu ni. Sapa2 pun jd kepala,rakyatnya duk lagu tu jugak...Kasihan!

acciaccatura said...

salam chegu,
hmm... cakap utara dan makan nasi dagang! heehee....macam kita je! heehee...

alamak, teringat pulak saya kat yang dalam ISA tu. kesian keluarga depa.

kalau sumpah jadi beruk, boleh lagi bela belakang rumah. kalau jadi batu belah batu burok???heehee...

Kata Tak Nak said...

Aboo,
Takapa, tak lama lagi berubah la tu.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Accia,
Baru lah ada intergrasi. Makan nasi degang dengan lidah Penang.

Asil said...

Cikgu,

Lepas ni, Derih bole PULAU mak dia pulak. Sebab melahirkan dia yang tak berguna untuk agama dan bangsa.

Hai, kelam-kabut la projek Derih dan Patrick Badawi.

Syabas, Tuanku.

monsterball said...

chegu...or chiku. Which is correct?
In Indonesia...it is papak or ibu guru.

Nor Haniza said...

La Che'gu, seronok sungguh baca dialog ni. Boleh buat drama la Che'gu. Loghat utara ni seronok baca, seronok dengar. Teringat masa dok Penang dulu.

Anonymous said...

Salam Che gu,

Why so teruk, berani betul
depa! Tak ke ini biadap, what
loyalty to King and country,
all loyalty to pocket sendiri
sendiri. Pernah His Majesty ke
sini, the little interaction we
malaysians had with Tuanku, very
humble person, no airs.

Inderjeet

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Mak: tu la hang, derih. mak dah habaq toksah pi campoq dgn budak2 luaq, hang kedegaq sngt. si kerry dgn si atrik tu bad influence hang tau dak?


hehehehe...

iN@ said...

hihi.lawak lah bace kt cini..
terhibur..
chek pun org utagha jugak che gu..

hantutelur said...

I can't help it, chegu. Just found this posting on hussein lempoyang. It's funny, so I want to share.

Immortalising Samy Velu On A Stamp
After serving for 25 years, Samy Velu believe that the country should give tribute to him by immortalising on a postage stamp. He met Pak Lah and expressed his intention.

Realising the anguish Samy had to undergo for facing up to Hindraf's onslaught till election day, Pak Lah decided to agree. The stamps were produced and sold to the public. But after a while, problem cropped up. The stamps were not sticking to the envelope.

Samy personally decided to investigate and realised that it had nothing to do with the quality of the stamp. The stamps were using good quality paper and glue. The problem was simply because people were spitting on the wrong unglued side of the stamp.

We will miss Samy's funny and strangely worded but confidently expressed press statements.

hantutelur said...

Samy punya setem. Ini setem pakai, itu surat ini hari antar, semalam juga sampai!
Klik sini tengok

hantutelur said...

Sorrylah tol tarak bayar tabley masuk! klik sini lah

monsterball said...

kata tak nak...When I saw MU won 3-0, I said to myself...sorry for kerp.....but not until the 72th minute...I begin to relax....as bookies made a piling from the two games....and kerp's Arsenal lost all the ammunitions.
Pinky need to leave Danny boy..kerp alone too..as his pistol also no more bullets....hahahahahaha
And you better take care of your famous new visitor.
Failing which....he will fuck you left and right for being unhospitable........hahahahahaha
Now wait till 3am....to see Tiger Woods create history.

monsterball said...

Stay cool... hantutelur.
I think kata tak nak is laughing at your joke..so much...that he needs to get composed and respond to you.
As his self appointed spokesman...I guarantee you...he will love to teach you a thing or two....if you ask him few questions.
He loves to agree..to disagree with your opinions.
Right now..he is in very good mood..seeing MU won.
And I am sick of golf today....postponed ...then on...then postponed...making me wait whole night...doing nothing.

Kata Tak Nak said...

asil,
Mau tak kelam kabut? Bila Kit Siang buat depa cepat sangat hentam. Depa tak terpikiaq nak jadi kat depa? Ternganga depa sebab bila jadi kat pembangkang, sat saja settle bila jadi kat depa, all hell broke loose.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Nor Haniza,
Oh, penah duduk Penang ka? Di mana?
Glad you like.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Inder,
I have the feeling that things are doing to get worse. Yes, I agree Tuanku is a people's kind of man, no airs.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Hantutelur,
Yes, I have heard some of the jokes but of course with different characters.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monty,
It's okay. One thing to my advantage is if any of my visitors hentam me unfairly I can always delete, finito. But if hentam me but it is fair, I will allow it. I don't want to be like BN, cannot accept criticism.
Anyway serve the Liverpool people right/ They thing they can mess around with MU.
As for Arsenal, they are like a wounded tiger, more dangerous than ever.

Kata Tak Nak said...

in@,
Terima kasih sebab datang. Datang2 lah lagi.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Kerp,
Memang kerry dengan atrik tu bad influence tapi hanya orang yang jahat yang buleh di influencekan. Kalau idris tu baik, dia tolak saja.

ezza erisa said...

funny tapi patut dlm loghat terengganu..hehhehe

Kata Tak Nak said...

Ezza,
Saya tak berapa pandai loghat Terengganu. kelantan buleh la sikit2 sebab pernah duduk sana.

Nor Haniza said...

Che'gu,
cheq dulu belajaq sana. lepaih belajaq keja sat kat USM. Ghumah sewa cheq dulu kat Sg Dwa. 6 tahun dok sana, bila cheq balik Kelantan ni, banyak loghat Penang cheq bawak, "sat", "depa", "awat", "hang", "pikiaq". Cakap campuq2 Mak cheq kata.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Haniza,
La macam tu ka? Dulu dari 1993 sampai 2002 kot saya ada kerja partime di Desa Bakti gerai nasi jadi cashier petang. Kalu haniza ada sana dalam tahun2 tu dan pernah makan petang ka malam ka di desa bakti mungkin pernah jumpa saya la.

monsterball said...

Finito cybertropers.
Finito crazy nuts...no manners and others that you may find..chase readers away.
But don't finito..kerp & monty. We are best buddies now.
Monty maybe synile...talk cock and bull...but that's ..to each his/her own free rights to conclude.
Say...one word...blogger not like it...got banned.
Say right thing....blog owner cannot take it..got banned.
Few pro Mahathir bloggers banned me too.
Tear gas and water treatments experiences at this old age too.
What a life...and if you are not made a head-master....don't be disappointed. Our education system is ranked 200++ .while S.pore is ranked as 3rd best in the world.
CHEERS!!

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monty,
Don't worry you are still welcome. I will not ban as long as you remain like this. Those Pro Mahathir bloggers can do what they want, it is a democratic country. Let's keep this blog a blog for imatured discourse and fun.
Never mind. I don't think I want to be a headmaster. They also don't want me as headmaster because when I was a senior assistant I took care of my teacher's first. I don't care about unfair instructions.

monsterball said...

I feeel good!!

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Blog Archive