Saturday, 22 March 2008

Change Your Lifestyle

Necessity is the mother of invention, such a wise saying, but then what then sparks of innovation? I do not know what is the official saying for it but as far as what I am going to write is concerned, then, desperation surely is the mother of innovation. The Japanese is known for their innovative ideas. I guess it must be for their desperation in making money.

The innovations that I am going to write about is not actually about innovations to make money but rather to save money. The price of crude has shot to alarmingly high levels since we were last advised by the DPM to change our living style. Actually he was talking about innovation there. When the price of crude was at about US60 to US70 the government announced a big increase in the retail price of petrol and I wonder what would the price be like now that it is above US100.

We were spared a further increase in the price of petrol by the amount of noise we made when the price increased drastically and also because of the impending elections. Now that the elections are over and the BN is still the government of the day and going by their own admission that it is difficult to administer a country with the current price of petrol at the current price of crude then, it is only fair for us to expect an increase in the price of petrol ,which would automatically fuel an increase of the price of all essentials. The last increase did just that, and funny though, through some magic, they have managed to keep inflation low, so they said.. The United Nation should send their people here to learn how we kept inflation down despite huge increases in the price of essentials and services.

If, however, they do not increase the price of petrol, does that mean they have suddenly found a magic formula? I wonder. Anyway back to innovations. Since when we made a lot of hue and cry over the last increase, we were told politely to 'change our living style', I wonder if the impending increase, which would be met by another round of protest by the people, would be followed by a scolding to 'change our lifestyle'?

Being the good concerned citizen that I am, after much banging of the head against the wall and numerous visits to the clinic to smooth out the dents and not to mention fending off threats to commit me to an institution for the not so sound of mind, I think I can help fellow Malaysians with some innovations of my own on how to 'change your lifestyle. No, I haven't tried any of these innovations yet.

Innovation 1
This innovation is inspired by none other then the former Menteri Besar of Perlis. It was reported by one of the MSM that in 13 years as Menteri Besar he did not use a single sen of his salary and allowances which now amounts to quite a few million, no make it more than just a few million, which he graciously donates for the building of mosques. I wonder what he and his family eats? Then it struck me that since he was MB he must have been invited to many lunches, high teas and dinners, not to mention kenduris. That's it. Innovation number one is to attend every kenduri you are invited to and every kenduri you come across while walking (remember walking, you can't be driving because fuel would cost an arm and a leg per litter) along to do whatever you have to do. Since Malaysians insert money in envelopes when they go to kenduris then just put in RM1 and make sure you eat enough to last you the day because you can't be sure of coming across another kenduri on the same day. If you see that there is more than enough food ask the host if he can tapow for you some.

Innovation 2
Drink lots and lots and lots of water. Remember water is good for you and lots of water will do lots of good for you and your pocket. Try to make water as your staple diet. Look at water as food.

Innovation 3
Always carry a large water container when going to work and remember to fill up the container on your way home. Since you seldom cook there will be not much need for washing of plates so use the water for your baths. Two cup full per bath is enough and bathe only once a week. Do you toilet runs at work so you don't have to waste precious water at home.

Innovation 4
Disconnect your electricity supply and use 'surat khabar lama' or dried wood for lighting. Psyche yourself into believing that TV is evil so you don't need to watch tv programmes and without electricity you wouldn't be able to watch them anyway. If your neighbour can afford electricity and has a TV feel free to visit them on days there are programmes that you like. While in their house make yourself at home and raid their fridge as often as you can. Do it as much as you can because you wouldn't know when the movers would come to take your neighbours to their new home. When this happens be quick to make friends with your new neighbours.

Innovation 5
Visit Old Folks Homes and Orphanages as often as you can to see if there are leftover donated used clothings which the folks there do not want. Tell them that you know of other welfare homes that are willing to take up these unused donated rags. Use all that you can and sell those that you can't to car wash operators.

Innovation 6
Try to get sick as often as you can because there would surely be food at the hospital and they have TVs and fans too. Ask your neighbour in the ward if he wants the food that the hospital gives. If you are lucky, he doesn't want it and you could give the food to your wife and children when they visit you.

I have run out of innovations but I am sure my friends would come out with some but remember our DPM told us to change our lifestyle only, he never at any point in time asked us to break the law to live otherwise innovation 7 would be to commit a serious crime and go to Kajang or Sungai Buloh or anywhere near for a few years. He never asked us to rob or steal or take dishonest commissions to live. Remember that. He is our leader and we must do what he asks us to do.


Daphne Ling said...

Hi Chegu,

Wah...Your last innovation scary lar...

Get sick as often as possible! Hehe...

Anyone who has visited Penang GH's hospital wards will tell you there is so much congestion there, it feels like a stock market...Seriously...And finding your way is equally bad...

Nobody uses numbers like that hospital...Who would have thought that that numbers don't go 1, 2, 3, 4 etc?

They are more like 1, 14, 5!

And sure no tv...

As for private hospitals, just paying the bill can give you heart attack!


hantutelur said...

This is a great man no doubt. I used to hate him before. But now I wish he could retire in honour and be remembered as Malaysia's greatest leader of all time. Provided he doesn't get involved in the current political development. We are in dire need to search for a good, respected leader. I see none.

If in the next few days/weeks BN is toppled, the most logical person to be the PM will be Dr. Wan Azizah. That, I don't mind.

Then we will have de facto PM. Oh Malaysiaku! That, I mind.

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Lol! But afraid I am not innovative enough to add to your list.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Its just too much to expect system in government hospital.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Well, I still can't forgive the man for the climate of fear he created about 11 years ago. I know, I can't speak out then the SBs were asking about me from my pengetuas. I still can't forget Tun Salleh Abass. What we are suffering right now about the judiciary is a result of this. Why is it that Lingam is so bold? It's because of him. The fact that he did not own up to his sins and apologise puts him out of my books completely.
Heck Azizah cannot be PM. The only one is Anwar. I know you are not for it but remember it was he who got the blue eyes. It was his house that was stormed. It was he who was paraded in public on trumped up charges. It was Mahathir who did it.

Kata Tak Nak said...

It's okay if you can't add just be a good Malaysian and heed your leaders to 'change your lifestyle'

hantutelur said...

Well cikgu, the Tun will not meet my condition I'm sure, because he still want his hands into these matters.

For Anwar... I'm not denying that he is very instrumental in bringing BN down in Selangor and Perak. But I sure hope he wont be the next PM.

I'm on for Malaysia's first lady PM.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Thanks for agreeing to disagree. I have nothing against Azizah accept she is not PM material. Anyway, it would be a good try.

monsterball said...

kata tak nak.......You asked for live with it.......hahahahahaha

monsterball said...

hantutelur...I also like to join kata tak nak and doc...complimenting you on...AYAMKAMBINGBEH joke.
When kata tak nak have a friend like me..he does not need enemies......hahahahahaha


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