My wish for Merdeka is for the Malaysian people to be truly independent. What is your wish?
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The above caption is of KTN and Chung but affectionately called Abu by his friends in their Kelantan days. If you were to glance over to the sidebar there is an image of a print that Abu made at USM when he attended a printmaking seminar and workshop.
It was nice meeting up after so long but then again the meeting deserved a post of its own which KTN said that he would do in due time.
Do you know the only home-cooked food that KTN offered Abu during his stay here in Penang was his wife's special, he would like to call it such, gravied noodles with plenty of beef, prawns, potatoes, taukua and eggs.
Not much of a host that KTN fellow don't you think so? Well anyway, Abu is now back in Johor promising to be back in a year or two and may make Penang his next home, hopefully.
Anyway talking about noodles, just across the bridge in a place called Permatang Pauh where it was reported to be some kind of a war zone, friends have been calling me up to say that there is a new mobile noodle store serving an all new interesting noodle recipe.
KTN was salivating already when he heard about this new mobile stall because noodles is one of his favourite food. Back home it has always been either Hailam noodles, mamak noodles or his wife's special gravied noodles.
KTN headed across the bridge to catch this much hyped upon noodle stall, imagining a hot steamy plate of noodles full with dried sotong, chunks of beef, thumb-sized prawns and maybe pieces of chicken meat that would cover the whole plate.
Wait a minute, its a mobile stall so where is he going to find the stall? Being very familiar with Permatang Pauh, a constituency in which he was once a voter, KTN dialled a few numbers and was told that the stall would be operating in front of the UMNO building in Kubang Semang.
The suspense was killing him. He even told his wife that if the noodle was good enough, he would not be having any of her noodles anymore, at least until he gets fed-up of it, to which she gives a look that implied that he would be dissapointed because no one makes better noodles than her gravied noodles.
There was already a crowd of rowdy Mat Rempits at the stall. KTN is one guy who despises Mat Rempits, calling them the scums of society, but the lure of a new noodle recipe made him set aside his hatred for these hellish characters.
Now this KTN fellow is not one to dive into any food straightaway without first giving it a look over. It has to be well presented, has the right aroma and colour and most importantly has that x-factor which makes him fall in love with it at first sight.
This stall, crowded by the rowdies and the curious, just doesn't give a good first impression. It looked dirty, smells awful and is just totally repugnant.
He had a look at the sign of the stall, looked at the stall again and walked to his car to his waiting wife. He started the car and drove off. His wife knew that, KTN was disappointed. "Where to" she asked. "Cherok Tokun" he answered, rather dissapointed. "The crap-gravy noodle at the junction"? He just nodded his head.
They headed to Cherok Tokun and ate the famous crap-gravy noodles at the junction opposite the mosque and went home. "Why didn't you buy any noodles at Kubang Semang?" His wife asked. "One look at the seller, I lost my appetite. He is dirty, smelly and do you know what he called his stall?". She kept quite but knew he would tell her anyway. " SODO MEE"
PM: Okay what's the latest report in Permatang Pauh?
DPM: Not so good. We are still trailing sir.
PM: What still trailing? That Epol boy, hasn't he been campaigning for us?
DPM: Yes, sir, every night. We play his swearing cd everywhere. If possible we would like to play them in the cinemas and maybe sell them to HBO but it is just not enough sir.
PM: Enough, enough I don't want to hear any more on this election thing. Noh, how's the economy?
Noh: Not good sir. We don't have much money left. We must borrow and there aren't that many lenders around.
PM: Shit, I am getting a headache. Exports! How are our exports?
MY: Besides the 2 oils, nothing else is going smooth.
PM: What about the Anwar case? Can we win it?
AG: If we do not want to be rated lower than Zimbabwe we better drop the case. It's a roti jala case sir, too many holes in it.
PM: I think I need a bypass. What about my campaign for the presidency of UMNO? Are you secretly fighting behind my back Najib?
DPM: No, never, you know me what. But Mahathir is not leaving you alone. They are going to fry you alive in the next General Assembly. Hopefully you are still the PM at that time and not that Anwar fellow.
PM: Anwar, Anwar, Anwar. I don't want to hear anything about that fellow. Must I make a report that he sodomised me to make the people believe our story? Anybody has any good news, please?
Samy: I got good news. Yesterday I bought a 60 inch plasma tv with good surround sound. Fuh, the colour so nice and the sound so good la. I bought an original Tamil movie dvd, ayo, yo. The fighting so clear one. When Vijay fight on the hill and roll down the flowers, the colour so clear la.
Kayveas: You call that good news ka? You crazy la Samy. Shut up la.
Samy: I know la you jealous, kucing kurap.
PM: Shut up you two, shut up. I am in distress and you want to fight here. Everything is going wrong, there's not a single good news for a long long time, that Anwar is breathing down my neck, my MPs are working against me, the economy is in ruins, my IGP decided that its a convenient time to go for a change of spare parts, urgh! help me.
Samy: Sorry la Datuk Seri. I didn't know you are so distressful right now. I have an idea, why don't we fly the flags outside there upside down?
When my wife first told me she was pregnant, I did not make it a secret that I had wished it was was a girl. I don't know why but I really wanted a girl for my first.
The name was discussed between my wife and I and of course like all young parents at that time we had a long list containing names for boys and girls. No, no scanning so we really were in the dark as to the sex of the child.
My late mother in law was never one to meddle in my marriage life but she did whisper to my wife that she had fallen in love with the name of one of my neighbour's daughters so we reserved that name if it was a girl.
It could be that in Penang that name that my late mother in law fell in love with was quite rare at that time but in Kelantan, it was like a dime a dozen, very common.
To shorten things up, my wife delivered our first born at the Penang Maternity Hospital. We got a healthy baby girl who we duly named Marziah, the name of my mother in law's choice.
The date was 21/08/80. Yes, today is her 28th birthday. She is now of course married but is not a mother yet.
She may be 28, the eldest of the three children that I have but in our eyes she is still our baby, our first baby.
Happy Birthday Meiji, as she is affectionately called, and may you live a long and happy life.
Your mom, sister, brother and I love you very much. Happy Birthday baby.
For a Malaysian I am very-very proud of his achievement. He fights for his victory and never gave up.
No matter whether he strikes gold or settles for silver, Malaysia is proud of you.
Go do the country proud in the final. The whole country is rooting for you.
Takpa Mak Timah, ambil la, ni kami bagi ikhlas ni. Kalau Mak Timah tak tau jahit bagi kat anak.
La, anak-anak Mak Chik pun tak tau jahit langsung. Depa pi beli baju kat Machang Bubok nu.
Kalau macam tu, Mak Timah cakap Mak Timah mau apa? Cakap, apa saja Mak Timah mau, Television? Astro?, Peti Sejuk? Washing Machine? Cakap saja, kami bagi.
La awat hampa ni semua buang tabeat kot? Aku tak mintak apa pun yang hampa tiba2 mai ghumah aku nak bagi baghang ni semua buat apa?
Tidak Mak Chik, kami ni bukan apa, kami kesian kat penduduk kampung ni, hidup miskin papa kedana, jadi kami nak tolong la.
Awat hampa tengok ghumah aku ni bughok, takdak pirin Astro, hampa ingat aku miskin ka? Ni Awang oi, duit aku dalam ASB pun banyak lagi la. Aku dah pi Mekah 2 kali, tak payah hampa nak mai bagi baghang kat aku, tak aku kebuloq baghang hampa. Huh! mai sini cakap pelek macam oghang kolumpo nak hina kata aku miskin papa kedana. Nu, pi bagi kat misjid duit tu lagi bagoih.
Pak Dollah, kami ni datang nak bagi baja.
Baja? Buat apa?
Untuk sawah Pak Dollah la.
Sawah? Sawah aku dah bekughun jadi ghang dah hampa nak bagi baja buat apa? Dulu kami mintak tulong sapa pun tak mai tulong, lani tak tentu pasai mai nak bagi baja pulak.
Tak apa Pak Dollah, kami boleh tolong hidupkan semula sawah Pak Dollah yang terbiar tu.
Tanah aku tak mati aih, yang yang nak bagi hidup balik buat apa? Hang pi juai baja tu, duit dia hang pi derma kat sekolah Agama lagi bagoih. Hang dah pi sekolah Agama dak lagi?
Er, er belum lagi Pak Dollah. Sekolah Agama tak masuk dalam senarai bantuan kami.
Awat? Yang di sekolah Agama tu bukan oghang ka? Depa tak perlu bantuan? Awat pasai depa semua oghang Paih, hang tak buleh tulong?
Pak Leman, kami ni datang nak besarkan kedai kopi Pak Leman ni. Kami nak naik taraf jadi macam restoran.
La, mana mai oghang gila semua ni. Awat hampa semua ni tak nampak? Yang ni kandang kambin, bukan kedai kopi. Awat yang buta sangat?
Oh maaf Pak Leman, kami tersilap tadi, tapi tak apa kami boleh bagi kambing baka baik kepada Pak Leman? Berapa ekor Pak Leman nak? Kami boleh besarkan kandang ni sekali.
Awat hampa ni semua dah sawan ka? Seumoq idup aku tak pernah oghang mai nak bagi baghang macam tu saja. Awat hampa ni semua penyamun ka? Aku ni miskin, tak ada apa yang hampa nak samun. Oh penyamun lani pakai baju puteh dengan seluaq itam nu?
Kalau Pak Leman tak mau semua tu kami boleh bagi duit. Pak Leman nak tak?
Baik hampa pi balik sebelum aku bagi penyapu kat hampa.
Ya tuan-tuan dan puan semua, mari daftar di sini. Semua yang mendaftar akan kami bagi percutian percuma ke Medan bersama wang belanja seribu ringgit seorang. Mana nak dapat tawaran macam ini?
Bagi kad pengenalan dan tandatangan saja dapat pergi bercuti ke Medan dan wang belanja RM1000.
Pergi pulak bukan naik feri, tapi naik kapal terbang tuan-tuan dan puan-puan.
Tuan tuan dah puan puan saya berjanji yang Permatang Pauh ini tidak lagi akan ketinggalan dari segi pembangunan. Kerajaan telah pun meluluskan sejumlah wang yang besar untuk pembangunan Permatang Pauh.
Di tanah sawah yang saya bercakap ini kerajaan bercadang hendak bukak Disneyland.
Kita juga bercadang untuk membina jalan 5 tingkat supaya tak ada ada kesesakkan lalu lintas.
Di sebelah sana akan kita bina Stadium taraf antarabangsa yang boleh menampung 100000 penonton.
Di sebelahnya kita bina Velodrome untuk adik adik naik basikal dan di belakang sini kita akan bina Kompleks membeli belah yang terbesar di dunia.
Kerajaan tahu yang penduduk perlu beriadah jadi kami berjanji yang setiap kampung di sini akan dilengkapkan dengan kolam renang saiz olimpik.
Kami juga akan bina sebuah tapak konsert terbuka untuk anak-anak muda dan gelanggang untuk merempit supaya anak-anak kita tidak berlumba di jalanraya.
Buat permulaan, kita akan menderma setiap rumah dengan 100 kilo beras, voucher minyak RM1000 seorang dan setiap orang murid sekolah akan diberi sebuah basikal.
Ini lah keperihatinan kami.
A group of Mak Datins, from a woman's wing of a political party has declared Jihad on a certain personality whom their husbands claim to have to a preference for man's rear end.
Now why would those Mak Datins be angry? Their men said this politician has been humping man's behind whenever he has the chance. This means these Mak Datins behinds are safe. Let me think here for a while.
I got it, these Mak Datins are actually angry that he has not touched their behinds. You see, this politician that they have declared Jihad on is quite a good looking fellow and maybe they think it is a waste that he chooses to do it to man's behinds and ignore theirs.
Anyway, what do these Mak Datins know about Jihad? Do they really know what it means?
Who is going to do the Jihad anyway? They or the ordinary kampung ladies who are ordinary members who wear ordinary clothes and eat ordinary food in ordinary stalls and who struts in ordinary shoes and wear ordinary tudungs?
What war are they waging against him? A religious war or an economic war? Are they waging Jihad against him for fear that he will destroy their religion or he will destroy their husbads' bank accounts?
Are they afraid that if he wins, more women will shed the tudungs or that they will be forced to wear the tudungs?
Come on la, what do they know about Jihad. Where was their Jihad when their male counterparts were plundering the country to the bones?
Where was their Jihad when a foreign woman was blown to pieces and you can't even find her bones?
Where was their Jihad when the poor was made to pay more to survive and the country was being ruined by their own kind through non-stop politicking?
Where was their Jihad when some people up there decided to put the country into auto pilot while they stop to do more important things?
Where was their Jihad when the children of other ladies were forcibly sent to risk life, limbs and chastity in some camps just so that their kind could make each other rich?
Where was their Jihad when other ladies' children who studied their butts out and upon graduation find it difficult to find jobs as helpers in burger stalls because there are too many burger stalls already?
Where was their Jihad when graduates are forced hide their degrees and use their SPM certificates to apply for clerical or production operator's job?
Where was their Jihad when squatters were forcibly evicted in lands they have been living for generations just so that some of their kind could make many many millions building condos and shopping malls?
Where was their Jihad when known criminals are allowed to walk free because it seems our prosecuting teams suddenly lost the ability to put up a good show?
Where was their Jihad when a cigar chomping male counterpart could go free after groping the arse of one of their kind?
Where was their Jihad when their kind provided easy access to everything that we had to the evil regime of USA to facilitate the bombardment of Afghanistan, Iraq and the destruction of the Abu Sayyaf?
Do I need ask more? Come on ladies, is the whole woman wing declaring Jihad or is it only the Mak Datins who are so fond of rhetoric and suddenly find that Jihad is the fashionable word to use?
I wonder too, what they were wearing when they declared this so-called Jihad? Were they in Purdahs or were they in Gucci's, Jimmy Choo's and Zang Toi's while instructing their baju kurunged ordinary members to take up arms against this enemy of theirs while they planned their next shopping trip to London, Paris and New York?
Tell you what ladies, get your priorities right and then maybe we will give you a listen.
Just a while ago I was having an exchange of sms with blogger Bakaq of Penarik Beca. I guess he must be bored stiff with the inability to blog since his desktop and modem is not where they are supposed to be. That's what we poor Malaysians do really, we communicate through sms because it is way cheaper than voice call.
Well for your information, Bakaq and I are cyber-friends. We have never seen each other and differ in certain things regarding politics and politicians but we do have one thing in common and that is a Fair and Just Malaysia to call home.
He described himself to me as like a junkie cut off of his normal supplies. He must be going cold turkey now. I know the feeling because there were times when yours truly was cut off from the Internet either because of bad bad bad connection or from being a bad bad bad subscriber who got his connections cut off for being a bad bad bad paymaster.
Well anyway Bakaq said that he is trying his level best to get himself connected to the wired world again but times are not that good and getting oneself a pc is not exactly like walking into TESCO and carting one out in trolley without going through the cashier, if you catch my drift.
I did offer to help in the little way that I could and maybe rally a few friends but, true to form, he refused asking me to allow him to try learning to walk without a cane. That's Bakaq for you.
He did did talk of his dream, "a new Malaysia for all and a reformed police force". Those were his exact words.
Now I am not exactly a magician who could dive into his heart and know exactly how he feels about the two things he mentioned above but through his writings I guess I know what he means.
We all know how critical he has been of the present government but then again aren't we all. Some chose to keep it to themselves but Bakaq would not. His dream of a new Malaysia I guess is a Malaysia with Islam as the basis to how this country is ruled.
Don't be cowed with the word Islam. Bakaq is not an extremist or a fundamentalist. He is as open-minded as they come but like any open minded person you have to have something to hold on to and being a Muslim, he holds to the teachings of his religion.
Is it wrong then when he is advocating justice, respect for the law and true humanity as the way a country should be governed? The bottom line is that what he aspires for is a Fair and Just Malaysia where every race has a place and deserves the respect that is due to them as citizens.
Yes, I know some may feel uncomfortable when he talks about being a Malay but the Malay he means is an unsullied one, a true to the core proud Malay in this country who practices fair play, compassion and who is tolerant.
As for his other dream, "a reformed police force", I am sure he speaks for us all. The only think is that he went overboard by the cut and paste episode to which he duly apologised, very much a Muslim who should admit that he had gone overboard.
I am not saying that those who display that spiced-up crest is wrong. I am only saying that upon contemplation, he realised that he has gone a little bit too far in his criticism of the police force which would suffice with mere words rather than the addition of the said crest.
His dream for a reformed police force is still strong and that he wouldn't give that up. We Malaysians too do feel that for the good of a rapidly developing 52 year old country, the police force should change with the times and be more people-centred in discharging its duties.
I tak peduli, hantar I balik ke rumah mak bapak I
Kenapa ni Anja, kebelakangan ni Anja asyik nak marah saja? Jangan la macam tu, mari sini Sayang pujuk.
Tak mau, tak mau, Anja nak balik jugak. Sayang pun sekarang ni mana ada masa sangat kat Anja? Asyik meeting saja.
Alahai Anja, dah tanggungjawab nak buat macam mana? Mai lah Anja Sayang sorang tu, Mai la bucuk soyang.
Sayang jangan cuba nak pujuk Anja. Kali ni, tak ada pujuk-pujuk punya. Anja nak balik, Anja nak balik, Anja nak balik. Faham tak? Anja dah tak tahan dah hidup macam ni. Lain yang Anja bayangkan, lain kenyataannya. Tolong lah Sayang, hantar lah Anja balik, tolong la.
Kalau ya pun Anja, hujung minggu ni kita balik la sekejap. Kan Anja ada kerja, Sayang pun ada kerja, mana boleh tinggal macam tu saja? Ala Anja ni, sabar la sikit.
Tak boleh sabar lagi Sayang. Anja dah fed up dengan semua ni. Please la Sayang, izinkan Anja balik.
Sayang nak buat macam mana lagi? Nampaknya Sayang dah gagal memimpin rumahtangga ini.
Bukan itu Sayang. Anja dah tak boleh tahan dengan semuanya yang ada di sini. Tolong lah Sayang, hantar Anja balik, tolong la.
Baik lah Anja. Mat! Mat! Mari sini kejap. Bawak Pak Encik kau balik ke Kepala Batas.