Wednesday 12 March 2008

Choosing The Cabinet

Pak Lah: Ladies and gentlemen, I call this meeting ……. who is that? There.

Kah Ting: Who is who DS?

Pak Lah: That fellow behind Rafidah.

Rafidah: Where? Who? Mak engkau jatuh terlondeh kain! Samyyyy! What are you doing here?

Nazri: Samy Velu la Pak DS.

Pak Lah: Why are you hiding behind Rafidah Samy? Why are you behaving like a thief? Take a seat la.

Najib: Mana boleh DS. Dia kalah, mana boleh dia duduk dalam mesyuarat ni?

Pak Lah: Oh, I forgot, you kalah kan Samy?

Samy: Sikit saja saya kalah DS, boleh duduk ka?

Nazri: No, no, you lost, you get out.

Samy: Wah, banyak sombong ah Nazri? Dulu selalu jumpa saya minta kontrak sekarang suruh saya keluar pula.

Pak Lah: Sorry la Samy, I sympathise with you, but this meeting is to discuss the new cabinet and you are not in.

Samy: Tak bole ka DS? Saya dudok tengok saja bole ka?

Najib: Cannot la Samy, this is confidential.

Samy: Oohhh confidential ka? Dulu apa pun tadak confidential sama Samy Velu, sekarang sumua sudah confidential ka? Er, sikit jam ah, incoming call. Hello! No la, cannot. Cannot, they don't want to give la. Aiyo sumpah la, diaorang tamau bagi, lagi dia orang marah sama saya. Ya, sudah kalah itu macam la. Okay ah, I see you afterwards. You all wait for me there. Ha, okay, teh tarik kurang manis satu.

Pak Lah: Who's that?

Samy: Zam la DS. He also want to come in but takut nanti kena marah so they ask me to come in la.

Kah Ting: They?

Samy: Yes, Sharizat, Aziz Shamsudin and that idiot Kayveas also waiting outside.

Rafidah: Kayveas pun? Since when you all became friends?

Samy: Where got friends? Zam la bring him along, see his face also I cannot tahan, cilaka punya orang. Pak Lah, tolong la Pak lah.

Pak Lah: Sorry la Samy, I'll call you tonight, maybe we can work something out.

Samy: Butol ka Pak lah? Butol ah? I wait you know. What time you want to call?

Pak Lah: Betul la, I don't know what time I will be free but I will call la.

Samy: Butol ah Pak La, Na poite ware, I go and come ah? You want tosai ka Pak Lah, I'll order for you. How many you want?

Najib: You order for me two ghee tosai Samy.

Samy: Chit, sindiri mau sindiri order la, apa ingat, kuli ka. Tej tarik tamau ka Pak la?

Pak Lah: Never mind Samy, I just had something just now. Thank you anyway.

Samy: I go now ah Pak Lah, you call ah?

Kah Ting: What Pak Lah, you want to elect him senator and make him minister ka?

Pak Lah: No lah. If I didn't say that you think he wants to go out ka? Penin Kepala la that Samy fellow.

45 comments:

Pak Zawi said...

Chegu,
Samy seems the butt of your many jokes lately. I guess hw will kill you should he meets you one day.

Unknown said...

zawi,
I admit, I have been unkind to him but somehow he turned himself into a clown.

Anonymous said...

Che gu,

Masih kaget lagi lagi with the
current developments, ini macam
very the happening lah.
So sepandai pandai tupai melompat,
at one point or rather kena turun
jugakkan.

inderjeet

Unknown said...

inder,
It's been a while. Yes, tupai dah jatuh dan sedang bergaduh sesama sendiri. Masing-masing menyalahkan masing-masing kerana mematahkan ranting.

monsterball said...

Seriously...It is good for the country and for Indians to see Samy voted out.
He has not sincerity to train a successor...just like Mahathir.
And when one is good...he will downgrade that person..and see that person out of popularity in MIC.
Mahathir had four DPM out...all excellent future PM...speaks volumns of how a dictator works. So Samy is an Indian dictator.
And with this bald head never seen in public....so old....yet all black hair ....proudly walking to the whole world to see....he is not only a clown.....but a real disgrace to the Indian society...to Malaysia. He is totally selfish man.
When come another for the Indians???.....NEVER!!

Asil said...

Aisehmen Cikgu, belum start kerja kat Perak, dah dengar cerita nak boikot-memboikot. Suka sakan le BN nanti.

Server blog YB Lim Kit Siang sampai sesak kena penangan komenter-komenter - tu dia peranan New Media, efektif.

Tunggu esok pagi, apa cerita.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

personally between zam and kayveas, i think the former is a bigger dickhead.

but the master pundek has to be you-know-who lah...hehehehehe...

Anonymous said...

Assalamualaikum. Cikgu. I can't congratulate you for Penang since suddenly I have just become the opposition in Perak. I wish DAP government in Penang will look into the welfare of the Malays on the island, after stripping the NEP there.

Actually, I can't accept being the opposition now because in reality there is no government in Perak yet, no MB, nothing. As you can see, technically, not a single party has enough seats to even form a simple majority government having BN managed only 28 seats, 2 short. DAP as you know have 18 and the other two, are nowhere close. Until the 3 Barisan Rakyat parties can agree to each other in achieving the wishful truly Malaysian government, repecting each other races and religions and not being self centred.

Well, the story you wrote above is really funny and very realistic, and I know it's a fiction. But that's how it ends to some people. A lesson to be learned there is that you are accepted only if you are in power. Once your lose your power, you are nothing but a nuisance.

How about writing something about Lim Kit Siang, Ngeh, Nizar and Jamaluddin on their tussle for office in Perak. The elements of backstabbing is quite prominent in their tale, I suppose.

Anyway, my candidates in Pangkor (S) and Lumut (P) won. It feels like being awarded the best player and most dramatic goal, but your team lost the match.

Peace.

Anonymous said...

Latest: In a stalemate to appoint an MB in Perak, the solution is found. All the State Assemblymen from the 4 contesting parties will each propose their own candidate and they will cast a vote each to select the man. It seems that BN will propose the incumbent Dato' Seri Tajol Rosli and their members of 28 will back him fully. Now we will have a BN MB. As for the EXCO, any two or more parties with enough seats (30 to form simple majority government) that succeed in forming a solid co-operation, agreement and understanding, will be the next government. PAS is distancing away from DAP after being shamed by Lim Kit Siang. It's true.

Pak Zawi said...

Chegu,
If what hantutelur said is true, then that is the best solution. PAS should back BN to teach this racist Lim Kit Siang a lesson. Serve him right. He must be taught a lesson on humility before he can be accepted as a leader of multiracial Malaysia. Now how I hate this man.

Unknown said...

Asil, hantutelor, zawi,
Latest I heard, all is okay now. There was a meeting with the Sultan last night and everything is settled.

One word of advice to Kit Siang la. Dah tua-tua ni belajaq banyak bersabaq. Jangan buka mulut tanpa berfikir, but I think he saw the follies of his way and is gentleman enough to back down, setakat ini la,. Jangan lah pulak ada development yang baru pulak.

Unknown said...

Kerp,
Personally between Zam and Samy, I'd hit Zam first. Jenih ni bahaya nak mampoih.

Asil said...

Good to hear that Cikgu. Thanks.

Put down all the differences, and start to work for the people. All lot of things need to be straighten out under 25 yrs rule of BN since Mahathir. So, there's a lot of work, a lot of patience, a lot of dakwah. Under the same goal, everybody needs everybody, we simply can't work alone.

Good luck to DAP-PAS-PKR from rakyat...

p.s. Bloggers like Cikgu, komentor like us will pantau (mandor) :)

Mr. Right said...

Hahahaha....

Hang tulis ni macam betul2 je. Macam hang ada kat meeting tu je. Hahaha...

Lim Kit Siang memang betul2 BODO!

monsterball said...

Lim Kit Siang is drown with his democratic logics...so much so...starting to make stupid comments...then later apologize to the Sultan of Perak.
If the oppositions are sincerely respecting the royalties by the BERSIH walk....which LKS also participated...then what the Sultan decided....is final and should be respected by all. It took him awhile...to realize how stupid he can sometimes be....but glad he apologize to the Sultan...as even his own DAP members were all against him. That's good sign...democracy is alive in DAP.
kata tak nak....I said ..if change of government materialized...I will shave my head bald.
As it somewhat came true..half way...so I wanted to have a one inch hair ..crew cut.
My barber said...whether keep hair as it is...or go bald..but crew cut will make me look like one escape from Tanjong Rambutan.....or a retired crook.....hahahahahahaha

Unknown said...

Asil,
Tu sebab I did not write an entry on this yet. Kita kena sabaq. Kalau betoi dia keras kepela sampai ke sudah baru kita hentam tapi dia dah sedar so kita lupakan lah.

Unknown said...

Mr. Right,
Aku cuma bayangkan saja. Betol la Kit Siang tu. Awat tak pandang jauh langsung. I think I know why he did it.

Unknown said...

Monty,
The important thing is that he has apologised. I think he should let Guan Eng handle these matters more. He should not beat the gun. He should consult the CEC first.

Anonymous said...

No reading between the lines. Plain and simple DAP's attitude. Depa dah taram lama dah. Issue deragotary statement, retract. Kiss and make up? Boleh lagu tu ja ka?

Depa lupa we are talking about a Malay state, not Federation of States. Our (Perak state's) set of constitution is one that cannot be questioned but only to follow. The Sultan is above all powers, law or politics. You come in to do administration but not to OWN the state.

I call for renewed State Election for Perak and we'll see if people really want DAP.

Unknown said...

hantutelor,
It's not that easy to call for fresh elections. Tomorrow everything would be history. You will get your chance only after 2011. Yes, I am very displeased with the situation but I will not back out of my commitment for the opposition.

Anonymous said...

Tomorrow everything would be history

You think so? Let's see how the drama unfolds. Could be stranger than fiction.

monsterball said...

kata tak nak....You and I know Lim Kit Siang is as sharp and as intelligent compare to anyone...right now. His comments was made with logics and great sense of proportions....but he was too quick...forgetting the political side he promised....BERSIH gave royalties..more power.
PAS has changes from 5 years ago...partly because they realize they have somewhat lost to UMNO....playing solely on race and religion politics....which somewhat dragged DAP down...supporting DAP in the 11th election.
Then Anwar was freed and KeDIALan is more active with him around.
It is the added strength of Anwar and his party....and all three parties do accept members from all races.
These are the clear signs of parties yearning a Malaysian country.
And Lim Kit Siang do make fantastic great election speeches....just like Anwar. UNNO thinking .....by discounting Anwar..and if it did work.....DAP will not be a force to be reckoned with ...standing besides PAS again.
All those backfired....as more and more UMNO guys spoke.. exposing their hypocracies and low class politics.
Now election is over..Lim made one mistake.....including few from UMNO and BN. All can be more clearer....when actions should speak louder than words....on going....or just blowing hot airs.
We wait..KTN.

monsterball said...

And hantutelur .....my long lost friend .whose nick is frightening and mine ...he said is terrible...can have all the fictions...more terrible than facts....and become unutterable.....driving him mad silently......towards..the house for perculairs.
Yes...kata tak nak is right....you still have to wit till...2011.
Take up fishing to calm the nerves is best advise from me to him.....hahahahahahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Fairest comment from Monty.

By losing his head, LKS will eventually find he lose every chance of having Barisan Rakyat to run the state of Perak.

He should be more careful not to disregard the importance of the other 2 parties to the coalition.

They might just call of the union or sell themselves to BN.

Only need 2 jilted guys to turn around and poof! you are on the other side already. Mark my word.

Unknown said...

Hantutelor,
I understand your predicament. I was in UMNO before and the concern was more UMNO than Malays. The fear is UMNO would be not relevant not Malays because Malays would always be relevant. Kalau UMNO terus macam ni memperjuangkan poket beberapa kerat orang saja, then they deserve it.
Apa ni, kalau bukan anak ahli UMNO yang top, tak boleh dapat kerja baik di GLCs. Kalau bukan ahli UMNO tak buleh dapat contract w/pun kelas F. Ini memperjuangkan apa. Memperjuangkan Melayu atau memperjuangkan poket.
Sorry.

Unknown said...

Monty,
Still, Kit Siang must learn to be sensitive to other people's feelings, just like you are sensitive to mine and I am sensitive to you.

Anonymous said...

I'll have the last laugh!

Anonymous said...

Owh, Chegu... what predicament?

Unknown said...

Hantutelur,
Kalau saya terkasar tadi saya apologise. It was never my intention.
It is never my intention to laugh now or laugh last.

Anyway no point in pursuing this matter any longer. You are not going to see it from my angle and since I have been there and out, I'll never see it from your angle.

Does that mean, this place is not worth visiting any longer?

If you have the last laugh then so be it.

monsterball said...

He is like that...kata tak nak...otak not very center la...hahahahaaha.
He can praise you..judge you....but in the end...he wants to prove he is smarter than both of us.
Having said that...he is fun to be with..for if he gets out of line....I fuck him...his telur have no more hantu to protect him....hahahahahahaha

monsterball said...

Kit Siang is a politician..not like us...KTN. He has no real heart or conscience........hahahahahahaha
He has build up a habit....that both of us cannot be like him.
But he does have a good and sincere objectives for Malaysia...much more patriotic that all UMNO politicians put together.
Anwar will watch over him...likewise...him on Anwar...and both respect each other.
And I love to hear from hantutelur more and more...although he is unreliable..and can swing like Tarzan with his comments.

Unknown said...

Monty,
I am sure hantutelor is a reasonable fellow, its just that we don't concur on some matters but that doesn't mean that he is not welcome here. I welcome him and enjoy the discourse. You don't have to agree to be civil, right?

I think the BR must have a lesson in communications. Things should be thrashed out before hand, agreed by all parties, endorsed by the leadership then only those are made public. Communication is very important.

Anonymous said...

No, Chegu, I dun feel offended at all. My balls are hard as rock. When I asked "what predicament?" I meant to ask you how you come to conclusion that I have any remorse about anything at all?

Be it BN or BR who run this state, will not affect me much because 1) I'm not in any way connected to the local or state government 2) I don't live on government contracts 3) I'm not a recipient of any government aids except if it is incidently "subsidised" into goods I purchase or similar. 4) My being an UMNO member is for identity purpose.

My purpose of being in this blog is to listen to all of you as an "opposition" or else you are all talking to yourselves. And of course when I have a chance I throw in my opinions as well.

I am not a learned person so my views are disputable but that's the point. I can make monsterball talks.

Anonymous said...

Now back to the discussion, last before I move on to your next blog post, I wonder how your BR coalition would work if you still need someone to force you to sign an agreement to accept your own supposedly collective decision? And after you do that, still someone is not satisfied with something else. It's going to be endless. You will end up fighting each other in the Dewan. Maybe it's a 50 years habit not wearing off.

Unknown said...

Hantutelor,
Age is the main educator. If I implied you are in a predicament and you are actually not then again I apologise. As for Monty, he is a nice man who cares. He may be a little bit rough with his words but he is an okay person.
It's good that you are here to lend your ears so that we do not talk amongst ourselves but believe me we are not talking amongst ourselves. There are within us who are suspicious characters but I guess you have to expect that anywhere in the world won't you?
Anyway, enough about politics, I went to your blog and saw that it was still carrying Chinese New Year promotions. I saw that 'I am online' thingy, can I contact you online then?

Anonymous said...

Chinese New Year promotion? That's for next year!

Seriously, if you are talking about http://pangkorvacation.com which you blogrolled on this blog, that CNY promotion is not supposed to appear on any page except when you click on its link. It is a blog page which has not been updated since. It will always be there until new posts push it away to archive.

Why not try to make a visit to my main website http://gopangkor.com (updating overdue also)?

And of course that "I am online" thingy works and I wonder why you never click on it....

I invite monsterball to click on the link as well if only he knows what's going to happen after that.

Peace

monsterball said...

Thanks for the good words of me....kata tak nak.
hantutelur...You don't scare me one bit.....and does words will not lure me to your blog...as you have nothing intelligent with substances...that interest me....but like I said.....it was nice to see you here. Behave and respect the blog owner.
You are a failure blogger....simply because you think you are too damn smart...subtly arrogant and with a touch of rude and sarcastic tone from you messages....every where same style.
For politics.....you talk talk talk.
We lived with it...from day one.
So lets talk birds and bees....that we may learn how your love ones treat you nowadays.
I am all ears to learn from a self proclaimed bomoh....hahahahahaha

m said...

hi hantutelur...Don't run away>
You have invited me few times to your blog..
You are one blog owner.who is faceless...nameless with a nick.trying to scare others..but the real fact.....you have no guts to stay put in this blog.
I am ready to rumble with you again...that is...if you want to play the double headed snake role again.
However...I do really miss you.
Friends or foe...you choose here...not at your blog.

m said...

I saw "m" only..so will this...but this is monsterball!!
I guess my computer is too slow..need refreshing.

Anonymous said...

Firstly I don't have a blog. I only have websites with maybe a blog page in one of them. Secondly I don't remember inviting you, Monty, to my "blog". If you're referring to the "I am online" button that KTK mentioned, I have to explain to you that it's for Yahoo Messenger (must have heard it the first time, huh? LOL). And finally, this is how it always began -- you start picking on someone.... Well, I'm going to start ignoring you. You may exist here, but invisible, inaudible to me.

Unknown said...

Hantutelor,
I don't think M is monty because that is not his style. M, I don't want personnal vendettas to be fought here. Hantutelor is a friend of mine irrespective of political orientation. Pls do be civil. We can have differences of opinion but we are grown up and so let us be civil. Thank You.

monsterball said...

Yes..kata tak nak.."M" was me.
And I will respect to ignore and not go further with a reply to hantutelur.
I appreciate your respect for me. Sorry to disappoint you from time to time.

Unknown said...

Monty,
Thank You very much. You are a gentleman.

Anonymous said...

senile

monsterball said...

yea yea yea
what's my name?

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