Ahmed Kerpov

It was like any other day in my life: talking to friends about the Reformasi movement; blasting Mahathir again and again and still not satisfied; smoking like hell as I talked knowing these sticks would probably kill me one day, just the drill. "En Nazir", I heard someone calling me and felt a tap on my shoulder. "I am from the special branch", he continued. "Oh yeah, what branch? Rambutan, manggis, langsat", I retorted, thinking it was my friend. I turned around and to my horror, there was this long-haired skinny guy who I have seen loitering around the area the past month or so. He was with a very unfriendly looking burly gorrila and they must have been taught that smiling is a sin. "Please follow us", the guy said softly but still with authority.

Lets say all that I tried to get those two goons to let me go failed and in no time I was seated at the back of their car, handcuffed. Damn were those cuffs tight? Very soon they took it upon themselves to hood me. I was a liitle disoriented, feeling the car moving but not knowing where I was. It seemed like a lifetime and by the third time I got up from my sleep, I was ushered out of the car. We took a long walk, I could still remember taking many turnings and walking up the stairs. The door opened and I felt a push on my back and I was sent flying. I must have hit someone because I heard him shouting out in pain. Considering my weight, I was not surprised.

They took the hood off me and the glaring light in the room discomforted my eyes. I heard a groan and turned to my left. There was this man holding his ankle and grimacing with pain. I must have fell on his ankles I thought. " Are you okay, did I fall on your ankles'?, I asked. He stared at me as if suspiciously but did not say a word.

The door suddenly burst opened. That was the first time I saw him. The burly goon who had apprehended me earlier wheeled him in. "Mr. Nazir, I am Ahmed Kerpov and I am here to give you a rough time", This was all too much for me, first I was literally abducted, now this wheelchair guy with a strange East European name addresses me and tells me that he intends to give me a bad time. Oh no, this can't be real. "Ah, doctor, meet your fellow inmate En Nazir, you would be spending a lot of time together. I see the both of you haven't had dinner yet and I don't intend on giving you any".

"You are a doctor? Sorry to give you that swell, anyway I am Nazir, and you"? I said, while holding my hand out to introduce myself. "Tokasid, doctor Tokasid, and do you know what the fuck are we doing here? Who is that Kerpov guy and what has he got against us and why did he get the special branch to get us"? he answered while shaking my hands.

We didn't talk much because there was just nothing to talk about. We were, should I say, suspicious of each other. Who knows, he was planted there to spy on me? Obviously those people wanted something from me and maybe they thought that I would open up to a fellow 'inmate'? The door opened again and the same gorrila forcibly handcuffed us and pushed us out of the room. We were pushed and shoved to another room. Ahmed Kerpov was waiting for us.

"I am sure you are wondering why I got my people to bring you here", he said with a sinister smile. I did not say a thing and neither did Doc. " Shah, ask Salo to play the dvd", he ordered a smaller built guy next to him. The room was darken and then the white screen in front of me turned bright. I was shocked, it was a Manchester United vs Arsenal game. The dvd ended with Man Utd humiliating Arsenal. "Ha, I see you are smiling Mr Nazir, by the time I am over with you, you will not find this amusing at al. Salo, bring that scum here. Now say, 'I hate Manchester United, say it. Say Arsenal is the best team in the world' say it, say it", he shouted and I felt a smack on my face. I was sent sprawling in the floor. I got up and spit in his face. "No, I will not say it. Manchester United is the greatest. Arsenal is a bunch of pussies and Arsene Wenger works part time selling his arse", I shouted angrily and began to laugh. Then I saw him getting into a fit. I am sure he couldn't take it. He fell off his wheelchair and started writhing on the floor. He was foaming. "Kill him, kill him" he screamed. Mat Salo pointed the Magnum at my head. As he was about to squeeze the trigger, the door burst opened, a naked Angelina Jolie rushed in followed by Charlie's unclothed Angels.

I saw that Kerpov couldn't take his eyes off the naked Angelina as he was wheeled out of the room handcuffed. "Wait", Doc shouted. "This is your fight with Nazir, why am I here then? I am no Man Utd fanatic"?, Doc queried. I brought you in just to complete the set, you me, Shah, Mat Salo and that Man Utd lover.