Thursday, 3 April 2008

I am here x 3

PM: Ladies and gentlemen of the press, I have good news but this is off the records so if you know what is good for you you wouldn't print it.

Reporter1: What is that sir? What could be so important and yet so secret but still you'd want to share it with us.

PM: Look at this certificate. Yes, it's mine and may I add that I earned it. It was tough but, I did it.

Reporter1: Wow, yes, la. It's issued by the United Nations la.

Reporter2: Let me see, let me see. Wah, I never knew this kind of certificate also got one. Wah, congratulations DS.

PM: Thank you, thank you. I call you all here to comment about the latest rumour to hit town. I was away for a while to sacrifice something for this certificate but, never and I would like to stress that never have I ever resigned from my post. I am here, you see. When you write this repeat the I am here 3 times okay, just for emphasis and drama la.

Reporter1: Then why do you think that this rumour is going round?

PM: Lagi apa, that old man la cannot keep quiet one. Always want to poke here, poke there one, bloody pokemon la that fellow. Just because I was away for a while they speculated that I have resigned. I want to ask you all la, how many times have you seen me crying except for the one at the grave la?

Reporter3: Never.

PM: How many times have you seen that old man cry on tv?

Reporter3: Quiet a number of times.

PM: Now you tell me what kind of a man cries like a baby in public, not to mention looking really ugly? What no answer ka? Let me answer it for you, pondan la, some more what. I am a man, not a pondan so I won't resign. After all we won what, so why should I resign?

Reporter1: But DS, Tun had clearly articulated that you should resign.

PM: I think he should resign from being a busy body la. What is being a busy body his full time job ka now?

Reporter2: What do you intend to do regarding this matter?

PM: Let him bark la, one day he will get tired and stop. Look, if he was the PM and people in UMNO openly call for his resignation and call him weak and bodoh, what do you think he will do?

Reporter3: Koyak la that fellow, sure kena hentam one.

PM: Haaa, you also know. You all lucky la got people like me otherwise half of Malaysia in ISA already.

Reporter1: But you sent the HINDRAF 5 to Kamunting?

PM: That one because Samy asked me to do, I don't want but he writhed on floor and screamed and threw tantrums during a party. What could I do, there were so many guests there, so I signed the paper immediately la, malu only you know.

Reporter2: But Mr. PM, Samy is now calling for their release.

PM: He also like that Tun la. They think this is their father's country, what they want we must do. Aaah let the 2 dogs bark la. What is important here is that you tell the country that I am here, remember repeat 3 times okay.

Reporter1: Ah, DS, about that certificate, was the whole process tough?

PM: The toughest I have ever been through in my life la but I persevere and in the end .... the certificate speaks for itself la.

Reporter3: DS, can I have a close look at it. Waah so cantik one. Signed by the Secretary General of UN some more. Er, DS what is SA?

PM: Sleepaholic Anonymous.

14 comments:

Mr. Right said...

Betoi la

"Saya masih di sini. Saya masih di sini. Saya masih di sini. Mereka semua membuat spekulasi..." - Utusan

"I am here. I am here. I am here. They speculate that I want to run away.." - TheStar

Reporter badut... Hahaha...

Kata Tak Nak said...

Mr Right,
One interesting point is why Madet bising sangat. Bila bising, kita tak buleh pikiaq benda lain, dok pikiaq benda yang di bisingkan saja so terlupa la yang sebenaqnya Mahathir is equally guilty for the slide in support for Alif Mim Nun Wau = sarkes (bukan saya kata, Sudin yang kata). He started it, Dollah finished it.

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

PM got on to the stage and behind a microphone. Behind him are Azalina and Mashitah. Then the music was played and the PM started singing:

PM: Hey people whatha doing down there? Dancing alone while I sit on the throne. I can't hear your music playing, and I can't feel your body swaying. One floor below and I can't still hear you...

Aza and Mash: Ooh my babies...

PM: Knock 3 times, on the Palace if you don't want me.

Aza and Mash: twice on floor,

PM: Means soon I'll have to go...

From the floow the entire cabinet and ameno people starts to pelt them with rotten eggs.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shah,
The chief pelter is non other than MM hiding behind a wheelchair. Behind a wheelchair? Hmm, interesting.

tokasid said...

Reporter: DS why do you want us to write it three times?

PM: Hey come on lah...that is the in-thing now.After Lingham's correct,correct,corret everything important must be said three times laa...awat bangang sangat hangpa nih?

Reporter: Err...DS, what makes one to even considered to get the SA certificate?

PM: Actually its difficult.Not many can achieve that level even to be considered into the list.

Reporter: Wow! Its must be something special right, DS?

PM: Of course lah...not many in Malaysia can do that.Among world leaders there are fewer.In South East Asia only one person before me got it.So it is special.

Reporter: Wuyoo...sure special one DS.Err..who was the SEA leader before you who got the honour DS?

PM: Pak GusDur.

Reporter: Pak GusDur? There is nothing special about him DS!

PM: What do you mean nothing special about him? GusDur and me have the same qualification only I'm better than him.

Reporter: ...and what is that DS?

PM: To qualify you must sleep in at least 60% of meetings you attended.Pak GusDur achieve only 65%. I got 90%. Tak terrer lagi tu?

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Pak Dol: How many times have you seen me dozing off in public?

NST reporter: NEVER!

Kata Tak Nak said...

Doc,
Reporter: Wah, 95% ka, that is dasyat la, why don't you make 100%
PM: Then I'd be dead la bodoh.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Kerpov,
Pak Dol: How many times have you seen me dozing off in public?

NST reporter: NEVER!

Pak Dol: Good, good, I'll recommend that you be made Chief Editor.

monsterball said...

Mahathir: There you see....I was correct. He should resign. did I not tell you....bla bla bla.....
Wife: Who are you talking to..darlin?
Mahathir: Talking to the mirror....practising my next speech to reporters.
Wife: What reporters?
Mahathir: Those reporters ..that are reporting in kata tak nak blog la .
Wife: You blockhead ka? kat tak nak made up the story.
Mahathir: Go to hell....I still want to prepared another reason to force Dollah to resign.
Wife: Perhaps...you go practice with the house guards and maids...all together. I don't mind..as long a this is the way...to keep you happy and alive.
Mahathir: Excellent idea darlin!

Monster Mom said...

aiyo.. koyak la mulut...asyik gelak saja... nice one cikgu!

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monty,
If he is questioned by the reporters in KTN he surely go home crying one.

Kata Tak Nak said...

monstermom,
Jangan la sampai terkoyak mulut. Gelak tutup mulut.

Life is like that!!!! said...

Hmm i can understand that Pak Lah should resign it's true he should be accountable for all his actions but..for Mahathir to actually call for PL's resignation that is unfair..let the people that means us do it..let us decide if Pak Lah should stay or not as it is we have been supporting the same government all this while and already we have been so bottled up all this years, why not today let the people have the last say! I vote for Pak Lah to go and for a better PM but the question is, who is capable ?

Kata Tak Nak said...

Life is like that,
What does Mahathir know about fair play. Evil does not know fair-play.

Anyone taking over this country ought to have the greatest contempt for Mahathir. If it is anyone else, we will be doomed.

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