Wednesday, 2 April 2008

Sumpah I tell you, I don't know!

Samy interviewed by reporter on the phone:

What! got 5 Indian people in ISA? I say sumpah la I didn't know about this? Why, why what happened to them? Why they all kena tangkap? Hayo, because they all demonstrate ka? Bila? Why nobody tell me about this all? I say I tell you ah, if I know about this, there and then I will go to Pak Lah and tell him off. How dare he tangkap Indian people and put in ISA without telling me? I am sure he was asleep when he signed the order.

Okay, okay, slowly you tell me the whole story. What? They all say Indian people marginalised ka? True what that one. I say, people don't know how I use to quarrel with Pak Lah about the Indian"s fate. I tell you ah, one day, I think last June la, I went to him and bang his table so hard that he nearly got a heart attack la. I asked why there was no Indian Deputy Prime Minister, I said I was ready to take that post so why he still give to Najib? I ask him if he forgot that Mahathir wanted to give me the post. He pretended that his phone rang and was talking to himself on the phone. I say I know la that trick all, I do it all the time.

One more thing, nobody knows this la but now I am going to tell you. Never mind you can print in your papers, front page also can. Actually ah, that Tun fella is very scared of me you know. He try to be funny only, I will stare at him and he will pass water in his trousers la. Butoi, sumpah, I say I swear I tell you. Who knows all this? I say this is a scoop for you la. Go ahead print in front page.

Okay, back to that HINDRAF story, I tell you what, you write in your paper, that I don't know about all this. You say la I was away and when I came back the whole Cabinet was afraid that I would get angry so no one dared to tell me. You say la they hide this from me. You also say that I was surprised that when I went around campaigning the Indians were not very friendly with me. Then you write that when I asked the PM why the Indian people angry at me they said that it was because they were angry at Kayveas so they let their anger off at me. Then ah, you cerita la that that kayveas fellow is a playboy and cheat people's money all.

I tell you what, you put this headline, Samy Warns PM to Free HINDRAF 5. How? Nice or not? I will send you one photo of me wearing Sivaji shirt looking very angry. You write there that I said I will not rest until the HINDRAF 5 are released and compensated. You also write that the MIC is willing to give them 1 million Maika shares each and all 5 would be made Deputy Presidents of MIC for life.

One more thing ah, you write la the HINDRAF 5's family all came to my house and cry and beg me to help them. You say they all regreted boycotting the MIC, only the MIC under Samy Velu can help them and the Indian community. Then you add la that in my house got about 30,000 Indians gathering to show their support for me and crying asking me not to resign.

Some more what to write ah? Okay, I tell you this. You say Anwar came and beg me to join PKR and he was fighting with Lim Kit Siang who came earlier asking me to join the DAP. You say Karpal Singh is willing to vacate his seat in Gelugor if I agree to join the DAP, then you add la that I chased them away with a broom.

I say this story is very nice la. You write nicely ah, no grammar mistake all you know? Ah can you touch up the picture that I will send you so that I look younger a bit? You add that thin moustache la, then only I will look like a hero. When you are going to publish this? April 1st? Okay good, good. Ah, what? April 1st? Hello, hello, hello HELLO!

13 comments:

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Paper's Managing Editor: Yello! Yello! Dato' ah, don't worry! When we promise, we print!
SV: But, but...
ME: Don't worry Dato', I just now only got talk to PM and Mahathir. They both want us to print your story. Some more, got special instructions you know.
SV: Huh? Got what ar?
ME: Special instructions - to make your picture very nice and write all good things about you.
SV: Ya kah? (smiling happy)
ME: Yes lor. 1st time in history you know! 25 years I work here, never got instructions like this one!
SV: Ya kah? Tell me, tell me...(happily anticipating).
ME: PM say he will pay for full page; Mahathir say he will pay for colour! Pantone some more you know!
SV: Oooh, ya kah?
ME: Yes lah. 1st time in history a full page pantone colour orbituary!
SV: What? Er...hello, hello! Hello! You still there or not? Hello...!

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shah, sorry if I were to ask a stupid question but what is pantone? Too lazy to look it up la.
That obituary part is precious la Shah.

bakaq a.k.a. ~penarik beca said...

i find find in answers.com

link for pantone:

http://www.answers.com/pantone?cat=biz-fin

i think think maybe something to do with colour, because answers.com said; mentioned in color calibration (technology)

tokasid said...

SV: And you know what eh? PakLah and Najib also come and see me...they bring tosei somemore to me. What they want? They want me to join UMNO la dey!But I tell them I think first laa...becoz Anwar and Kit Siang also offer. And this morning you know what? My old friend Keng Yeik got telephone me...he want me to become Gerakan President.
Just now also, 5 minutes before you call...Tun Mahathir sms me . What he want? Don't be stupid la dey! Tun want me to challege PakLah for the UMNO president laa....So now I don't know what to decide. Wait!Wait! I got fax coming in....wait ah! Ayoyo...look here Mr Obama fax me from US. He want me to replace him as candidate for US President.

SV's wife: Ayooo Samy...enuf la talking to the phone alone...you forgot ka our line kena potong 2 weeks ago...you no pay bills!!

cakapaje said...

Cikgu,

What Tuan Bakaq replied is true. Last I know, pantone is the most expensive colour mix for print. It can be a rather delicate task and some printers want a 7 day advance notice should there be any cancellation of the print material involving pantone.

monsterball said...

I think April 1st ...all hell went loose..and one drunkard Indian spirit.. gave kata tak nak...the inspiration to write this post.
It vividly tells us....what Samy can actually say or do....exactly like his related brother.....Mahathir.
Both of them can tell lies better than all other politicians in Malaysia. Both are power crazy and both are corrupted.
Both are very old and yet...and the Kings of Hell and Heaven with their supreme councils...are debating...where to put both of them.
I wish both should suffer and go to Heaven..doing nothing....for the rest of their lives....bored to living death again.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Bakaq,
Thanx a lot and lama tak comment?

Kata Tak Nak said...

SV: Adei Idrani, don't talk so loud la, after everybody know la.

mokk said...

salam cikgu...

best la...setiap hari saya singgah di sini..best giler

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shah,
I think he doesn't deserve that la, flyers only to announce his sudden demise enuf la.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monty,
They are both excellent liers. They are tops of the class, got Phd in lying somemore.

Kata Tak Nak said...

mokk,
Glad to be of service for fellow Malaysians. Kadang2 kita serious tapi kalu selalu serious kita sendiri yang naya.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hehehehe...ya la...real pundek la this samy fella. suddenly made a U-turn asking those in power to release his enemy-5.

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