Thursday, 24 April 2008

It Was All A Misunderstanding.

Waitress: I would like to deny that what was reported ever happened. The ex-Minister did not fondle or molest me. It was all a misunderstanding.

Reporter: What made you make that report then? What actually happened.

Waitress: I did feel someone putting his hands on my backside. Then I felt the hand going higher. I protested, but it did not stop. I tried to pull the hand away, but the owner of the hand is much stronger than me. He was also drunk because I could smell it from his breath.

Reporter: What made you initially suspect that it was the ex minister who did it.

Waitress: After pleading for sometime, I couldn't take it anymore so I screamed. Then they on the lights and the ex minister was next to me.

Reporter: You suspected that he was the one because he was next to you? It could have been others right?

Waitress: I thought it was him, because that night, he was the only customer. There was no one else in the bar except the bar boy, two other waitresses who were with the bar boy, the ex minister and me. That was why I thought it was him.

Reporter: It could have been either of the waitresses or the bar-boy right?

Waitress: No it couldn't be, they were at quite a distant away. They lights were on only seconds after I screamed.

Reporter: Then how come you are now sure that it was not the ex minister, since he was the only one close to you? Anyway how close was he to you?

Waitress: He was very close, about 6 inches away. I only realised that it couldn't have been him when the police and his lawyers visited me a few days ago.

Reporter: How many of them visited you?

Waitress: 20 police personnel and 12 lawyers.

Reporter: So many of them? What did they say or do?

Waitress: They told me that that club is haunted. They said that a few years ago, a drunkard lecherous old man was shot dead for molesting a woman there. They added that it could be his ghost who did it.

Reporter: And you believed them?

Waitress: I was confused, but they brought an ex waitress who confessed that the same thing happened to her and coincidentally, the same ex minister was beside her. They said that, the dead man was an enemy of the ex minister so that was why his ghost did it every time he is around.

Reporter: Since the place is haunted, are you going back to work there?

Waitress: Oh no, I don't have to work anymore. The ex minister was so kind. He said that he took pity on me because I was molested by the ghost of his enemy. He blamed himself for what had happened to me. He gave me a cheque for 1 million ringgit, a condominium and an expensive car. He said I don't have to pay for the condominium. To show how he cares, he even took a key and said that he would be checking on me, to see if I need any help or if the ghost is still haunting me. That is why, I feel so bad that I had implicated a very good man.

22 comments:

ccdev said...

nice :-) quirky sense of humor you got, cheers!

Zawi said...

Che'gu,
Now more girls will know how to make money the easy way. Just hang around some drunken rich ex ministers from a party called Amno(any other parties may not work). Let them grope around your body and then cry rape and make sure others see the act being done on you. Make a police report and wait for an offer for settlement before retracting the police report. The compensation is definitely worth it.

tokasid said...

Hantu jerangkong: Celaka betoi EM tu?

Hantu raya: Awatnya?

Hantu Jerangkong: Ya laa...dia kata geng kita yang raba waitress hotel di Kolompo sana nun....

Hantu raya: Ya ka? habih tu sapa yang raba?

hantu Jerangkong: mana la aku tau! Aku nak tanya hang...hang pernah ka dengaq hantu dok raba orang?

Hantu raya: Ada...

HJ: Mana ada la Raya....yang ada kita buat superman terbang sana terbang sini.Kita jadi headbanger simpan rammbut panjang macam Cik Pontianak kita tu. Dak pun kita hisap darah kat keher macam Uncle Drakula.Dak pun kita curi duit macam si kenit al-Toyol tu.Dak pun kita rasuk org macam Cik Pelesit. mana ada raba2...

HR: Apa pulak tak dak? Bukan takat raba.Priap tun ada hang tau ka!

HJ:Hang biaq betoi raya...

HR: Betoi Jerangkong...macam aku ni...kalau tuan aku takdak,aku tak over bini dia....

HJ: Itu macam jugak ka....

( dari jauh terdengar jeritan: Tolon!Tolon! haramjadah!)

HJ: Hah sapa pulak tu? Eh...tengok sapa yg lari ke sini tu?
HR: Laa...tu hantu tetek.

HJ: Hah cik tetek! Awat yg terlolong-lolong macam kena rasuk hantu nih?

Hantu tetek: Musibat punya manusia.Aku nak usik dia...dia pi rabanya barang aku....Ptuih!!

Anonymous said...

He was very close, about 6 inches away.
Cikgu tak kan raba-raba saja kut, 6 inches makna dia dalam tu...hebat Cikgu

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

This certainly isn't a case of Maid in Manhattan!

Life is like that!!!! said...

hahahahaha...easy money la the girl got hehehe..no need to work for at least few years and the ex minister wah that desperate ah? must go raba raba some waiteress isk isk..I must say OTTSD betul la this fellow!!

Kata Tak Nak said...

ccdev,
Thanx, quirky pun quirky lah.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Zawi,
Even if the woman said it was a misunderstanding, what about the fact that he was drunk. He is a Muslim MP.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Attention all female ghosts, beware of bearded ex-minister but still MP. Dangerous when drunk.

Persatuan Hantu-Hantu Betina Malaysia

Kata Tak Nak said...

anon.
It's really up to the imagination.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shah,
What happens in Maid in Manhattan?

Kata Tak Nak said...

LILT,
I must ask you, what is OTTSD?

Life is like that!!!! said...

Orang tua tak sedar diri hehehehe

Kata Tak Nak said...

LILT,
When they have money they suddenly look like Tom Cruise. Even if they don't they surely feel like they look like him. Beware of the bearded man, he is quite handsome you know.

Life is like that!!!! said...

hehehehehe...that one ah...no la not handsome..tak apa my boyfriend some more handsome..cikgu nevermind u look better looking than the bearded man..hehehehe...that one looks scary..creepy owl seriously hahahahaha like i said itu EM OTTSD betul hehehe, Tom Cruise also not that hot unless if he is pierce brosnan during the younger days or Sean Connery tak apa la jugak hahahaha

Kata Tak Nak said...

LILT
On a serious note la, this people have become untouchables la. Imagine what political power can do. This is the news that we hear, what about the ones we do not get to hear.

Anyway not trying to do PJJ for you political science ambitions?

monsterball said...

Money talks!

Mat Salo said...

A classic, Chegu!

What's with these ministers - present and ex nih? Is Jambang trying to emulate Najib? Why can't they keep their hands to themselves? Or their hands away from the rakyat's money? Or are they conveniently blaming this on their Bugis DNA?

Questions questions questions...

You know, these ministers are actually very stupid. Patut dah bribe BEFORE she went to make the polih report. Not AFTER!

Kan bangang tuh?

P.S. In indo, the term for raba meraba is "menggerangayangi"

zorro said...

SWAMPMAN: will you please get back to your blog and start giving us those gems. Not asking, ordering!

Sorry,cikgu....this guy is playing hookie....and I found him here.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monty,
Money talks the loudest

Kata Tak Nak said...

MS,
Tu la, depa ingat depa untouchable, sebab dati dulu lagi depa kebal. La ni kena sikit terus lari keluaq negeri. Malaysia being Malaysia, now the woman must apologise.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Zorro,
Yeah, his last post was something like just after the world war. He is shirking.

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