Wednesday 14 May 2008

What Rice? Eat Potatoes la.

ISIS reccomends that Malaysians change their staple food from rice to potatoes citing that children simply love fries. Yeah change something that you have been doing for thousands of years just because some numbskulls, who most probably love western food anyway, think so. Hey! they are thinkers man, so what they say should be right or should I say, must be right. This could be what that Najib fellow meant when he asked us Malaysians to change our lifetsyles.

Well ISIS, since you are at it why not go further and recommend other solutions because it is not only rice that is expensive you know. For your information, we common people, who don't earn much are burdened with many other price increases, namely fuel, electricity, flour, meat, fish, A4 papers, no we do not know how much C4 cost so we will stick to A4, ink refills for our printers, underwears and last I heard even belacan, budu and cincalok.

So lets see what ISIS has to say about the other things.

I know it, I know it, they are gonna say, car pool, walk and enjoy the fresh air, ride a bicycle from KL to Seremban for work, take a bus which not only doesn't arrive on time but also costs a bomb.

Yes, use the good old candle. Remember Shakespeare's Life's Brief Candle? Well many a life would be brief when these candles decide to light up curtains as well as the room. Cook your potatoes, mind you no more rice, using firewood, sleep and work outdoors so no need for airconds, TV, radio and hifi pool so that we will use less electricity and increase mortality rate because of the frequent fights to change channels thus saving on food import bills.

Don't eat wholemeal bread, roti canai, roti benggali, roti capati, cakes, noodles, pasta, and flour infested kuehs. All these are bad for your health.

Value life, eat only dead vegetables, as if we eat our chicken and beef right from the barn.

Hey how many times must they tell you, eat only potatoes.

A4 Papers:
Use banana leaves for printing. Read only online news if your computers run on solar energy that is.

Ink Refiils:
Learn to memorise files to do away with the need to print so consuming less paper, oops! banana leaves and ink. It is good exercise for the brain.

Yes, yes, we know don't wear any, create a rather airy atmosphere down under and makes taking a pee a breeze. I am sure Kerpov is all for this.

Budu, belacan and cincalok:
Come on keep up with the time, this is the 21st century so no traditional food, only fries, wedges is also good.

There you have it ISIS. I have done your work for you so when are you going to make this public? Er, I am not being seditious am I?


Anonymous said...

ISIS works for Macdonalds

Anonymous said...

and this is what I found in wikipedia: "Isis was founded in 1972 by Carol MacDonald and Ginger Bianco..." Isis was an all girls Jazz fusion band. Can you see the connection? Isis = Macdonald = french fries.

Unknown said...

You are brilliant, you should take up private investigation. Imagine Hantu PI

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hehehhehehehhhehe...cikgu, i was reading the earlier part of underwear and i thought, hey, no problem. havent worn any for the past only God knows how long. and just had to mention me name.

i have a great idea which ISIS can steal. guys should switch to boxers because its one of those multi-purpose items. underwear use, day-use shorts, swimming trunks, for sports activity, and because it is so comfy and airy, one can even wear them to bed. imagine how much the rakyat can save.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

sorry cikgu, out of topic. thats a very interesting football news you got at the sidebar. read that mauro zarate has left birmingham. rumor has it Wenger is sniffing at a possible swoop for this argie youngster. i say, GET HIM!!

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

"Aiyah! No sweat sweat," ISIS forget to mention "hard hard, eat the grass also can what!"

"Yes" adds Najib "if want import cold grass also can. They grow them aplenty north of China."

"True" KJ butts in, "then my company can certify the grass as halal. My company charge same amount as the price of rice now".

"Boyo!" cakapaje chips in, "ini macam jadi limbu lah kita!"

Anonymous said...

Dear kata tak nak

About his painting "The Potato Eaters" Vincent Van Gogh said he wanted to depict peasants as they really were. "I wanted to convey the idea that the people eating potatoes by the light of an oil lamp used the same hands with which they take food from the plate to work the land, that they have toiled with their hands—that they have earned their food by honest means."
If you hardly spend a quarter of your earning and yet you can, more or less portray a life like Donald Trump, then you won't know about life. You won't know how it feel to wear an RM10-for-three pasar-malam underwear.
Do we really need to work harder than we already had to make sure we still have our rice in the bushels?
If the price of potatoes were to go up due to the sudden demand and dwindling supply, what do we eat next?
Come on. Get real.

monsterball said...

Brilliant message attracts brilliant man responding........hhahahahaha
kerpie talkie bola.
Who cares..what Arsenal Wenger buy or sell which footsie.
The name of the which one will the pukies....I mean.....bookies... choose to be champion in 2009.

tokasid said...

Salam Che'gu:

You must not bad mouthed ISI for ISA and OSA is waitingfor you.Just peek over the curtain...any patrol car or a big red truck with a huge golden bell there?

Potatoes are only short term remedy for we still need to import potatoe.Its is better to take tapioca instead for its can be easily grown lcally.And its pucuk ubi can be cook into masak lemak cili padi or celur cicah ayaq asam or sambal belacan.
Prolonged tapioca consumption too can cause Beri-Beri which will make Malaysian think its okay coz it sounds like Biri-biri.

As for fuel and electricity worry not. Ah Seng and Sons was recently awarded a handsome contract to manufacture steam base generators.We have lots of water s it is a very good idea. In view of this development Malaysia expects there will me more theft of besi burok.So warch out guys.

No problem with floor for we will have abundant supply of tapioca flour. Anyne wants roti uni kayu?

As for fishes the Ministry of Agriculture is formulating an act to encourage Malaysians to have aquariums at home.Among the incentives are free 20 guppies everymonth.

For writing we do not need ink anymore.Just the good old charcoal or arang will do.The Ministry of Information is discussing to bringing in the Apachees and Sioux from USA to introduce the smoke signal to replace postcards and sms.For short term measure, the Sudin morse code will be implemented by using botol ayaq lemenet or botol toyu like that being used in Bujang Lapok film.

Who need underwear?

Budu belacan and cincalok will still be in coz tokasid says so.

Anonymous said...

What is this talk about eating potatoes, tapiocas and jagungs? They all need to be cultivated and why not grow more padi instead? It is not that rice is extinct or we are short of land for padi farming. If individuals are not interested in farming today, why not the Gomen make it a centralised project to grow rice. We can't rely on import of food and not producing our own. After all in less than ten years we will run out of crude oil. With no money to buy food from neighbours what will we eat? Our own teloq?

Ydiana said...

I always believe in this motto.."Leading by Example". Why don't our leaders and these ISIS people start first.

In the next few months, they are not allowed to eat rice, buy rice or even smell the rice. They must be closely guarded and monitored to make sure they don't eat rice. CCTV everywhere to make sure they do not cheat. Toilet CCTV is exempted, but a guard must be posted outside to do checks that that they dont bring any rice to the toilet.

If they can survive say 6 months, then we may consider this as possible....but possible only...

Monster Mom said...

Potato, tomato, potato, tapioca...aiyomah... bagerooo!!!
I don't think ISIS is serious la cikgu, they are just making a statement to show that they are still relevant!!!

Unknown said...

Ada orang miskin yang barely make enough ka dalam ISIS ni? Actually I myself stopped wearing underwears since I left school and that is many many years ago.

Zarate is a good buy but can he fit in. Wenger should go for at least 2 28 year olds. Tak apa tua sikit tapi experience emotionally. Arsenal is good, no doubt about it, tapi muda.

Believe me la, kalau you train only youngsters the others would do all they can to steal them away especially if you pay your good players poorly.

Unknown said...

Convert all school fields into padi land and get students to work the field. Why didn't ISIS think about that ha?

Unknown said...

If price of potatoes go up they would say, we plant lalangs. They may even say, we are a spoilt lot, we eat too much so we must puasa, good for the body and soul and gomen.

Unknown said...

We'll wait for the Champions League final

Unknown said...

Last sekali gomen say, rakyat please don't think, let them do the thinking for them and semua mesti ikut kalau tak ikut 'sedition'.

Unknown said...

Exactly. They should talk less about finding for buyers but more of how to make ourselves self-sufficient. Tanah ada, hujan ada, buruh ada banyak daripada Siam. Kalau construction dan plantations buleh ambik buruh why not padi? Mahal dia kata? Subsidise la by cutting down on stupid grand projects.

Unknown said...

Depa mana buleh berkorban. It is always the rakyat yang kena berkorban.

Unknown said...

Monster Mom,
Come to think of it, I think you hit the bullsyes la. They have been very quite of late so to show that they are relevant they come out with a stupid suggestion.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

yup, got what you mean. flamini being a case in point. but i take some consolation wenger did not spend a ridiculous amount for this lad and he has been a good servant for 3 years.

monsterball said...

Why should we alter our life stlye due to UMNO mismanagements and corruptions?
I an a rice eater.....and I think 99% Malaysians are rice eaters too...and once in awhile.. food stuffs.
I think UMNO knew....what's they are making sure..rice is always available in Malaysia...or else 99% will vote them out!!


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