Saturday 19 June 2010

Please sacrifice for the country.

Minister: I am appealing to the people to understand our predicament. Our debts are too high. Debt servicing is eating up into our budget. We have to do away with some subsidy.

Reporter: Are you implying that we don't have money?

Minister: No, I am not saying that, I am saying that we must be prudent and taking off some subsidies is one way.

Reporter: Are there any other ways?

Minister: Of course there are. We will save. All government departments must spend wisely. We will stop unneccessary meetings and mileage claims. Electricity consumptions must be reduced.

Reporter: This means that the government is serious?

Minister: Of course, this particular government is always serious. The people is always on our minds but the people must remember that by suffering for the moment with the absent of subsidies on certain neccessities in life, they are paving the way for a brighter future. The people must be willing to nmake sacrifices.

Reporter: Don't you think that this is a gamble? It might backfire?

Minister: I know the people have the country at heart. They are willing to make sacrifices for the sake of the country.

Reporter: Any last words to the people sir?

Minister: Yes, we promise that this government is a responsible government. We are going all out to cut unneccessary spending. Every sen that we spend would be of benefit to the people.

Reporter: Where to now YB?

Minister: Er, off to Putrajaya for the ground breaking ceremony of the new Parliament Building. It is the best in the world. Once completed our MPs would be able to sit in comfort and it only costs 800 million, maybe by the time it is completed it might go up to 1 billion but it is still cheap. Imagine the comfort. We are doing this for the people.

Reporter: Can you give us some details about this new Parliament Building?

Minister: I am busy but why don't you speak to that man over there?

Reporter: That one? He is your brother isn't he? Why? Can he help me?

Minister: Yes, he has the designs. He is the one who got the tender. Okay, see you.

Tuesday 15 June 2010

Since we are at it .....

The Old Man, the one who destroyed the country in his reign of corruption and terror, the one who simply refuses to shut up and go, tried to justify an unjustifiable by saying that, gambling has always been around in this country. Hey, what's new? Rapes, robberies, corruptions and whatnots have always been around in this country so do we go about legalising these acts?

He went on to say that the Chinese like to gamble as if trying to imply that the Malays and Indians don't. Err, Mr Old Man, how do you think Besut fell into Terengganu hands? I am sure the Sultan at that time wasn't a Chinese. Look I have lots of Chinese friends who frown on gambling and plenty of Malay friends who sleeps with a deck of cards and would suffer withdrawal if they missed their pilgrimage to the 4D, Kuda and TOTO outlets. Gambling is not a race thing, it's a human trait and would prosper if allowed to and legalising sports betting would help a great deal in it's prosperity.

Since we already have legalised horse racing and numbers betting, do we need anymore form of legalised gambling? Anyway despite legalising certain forms of gamblings, have we seen the last of the illegal gambling operators and warlords? Sadly the answer is a big NO. In fact these unscrupulous people are thriving, no thanks to the seemingly inefficient enforcement of the law. Sometimes I wonder if they, the law that is, are really that inefficient. I mean the man on the streets know where to place illegal bets but somehow the law don't. Hmm! I find that rather perplexing but let's leave that for another day.

Mr Old Man, when you said that the PR's uproar against legalised sports betting is purely political, which I believe do carry weight, the above lends credence to the many suspicions that the government's main intention in legalising sports betting is not so much to stop illegal gambling but more of a means to make money. Tell me I am wrong. Hey, even The Man himself said that quite a few billions of Ringgit would go to the treasury.

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, now I know why you have always closed an eye on corrupt officials and misuse of government machineries and funds.It's because they have always been around right? Could we then legalise spitting on faces of hated senile old useless despots, who created fear in the people the rule (not lead)? This was around a long long time ago. In fact, in times of old, they even killed these despots but I am against killing, just spitting. Come on, be a sport and get your handkerchief ready.

Wednesday 9 June 2010


Boss: This is too much already, I can't stand it any longer.

Machai: Yes boss, too much already, we have to do something.

Boss: Yes, how dare they attack that ship. Don't they know that there are Malaysians on board?

Machai: Yes boss, too much already boss. Must teach them a lesson boss.

Boss: Call the General here, I want to talk to him.

Machai: Ok boss, I have called already boss, I know you would want to see him.

Boss: Waa! You terer ah?

General: Yes boss, you want to see me?

Boss: Have you read this report? This is very disturbing.

General: Yes boss, very disturbing boss.

Boss: We must do something about it. Weust show the other Muslim countries that we care.

Machai: Good idea boss, not only Muslim countries boss but also Muslims in this country.

General: What do you want me to do boss?

Boss: I will declare that we will help our brothers there and you get the three wings ready.

General: Okay boss, I will get our army boys ready to be deployed.

Boss: All 3 wings, not the army only.

General: That one susah la boss. The army can la.

Boss: Why not? This is getting me angry.

General: Boss our fighters can't fly because we lost their engines and the sub can't dive and is now in Pangkor helping the Perak MB catch ikan bilis.

Tuesday 1 June 2010

Waa, best la like that.

Man1: Woi Mat, come la sit down here, we all minum kopi and sembang-sembang abit.

Man2: You want to belanja ka? Can also.

Man1: What's wrong with the weather nowadays ha? Panas like anything only.

Man2: Everything make people panas la nowadays. Last night I lagi panas. What man, England play like shit only. Against Japan also can not play properly ka? Play like shit want to win World Cup some more.

Man1: No la, they all didn't go all out la, they all takut get injury.

Man2: No la, England no class la, I think this year, Portugal or Spain or Argentina got chance la.

Man1: Piiiiiirah, you want to bet ka? Come we bet RM10.

Man2: RM10 means go bet with school boys la, I bet already at that shop there. Sure cannot run away one because they all got licence.

Man1: They all got licence ka? You mean, now can bet legally ka?

Man2: Yes la, last time also I want to bet but takut they all run away, I get nothing, but now because they have legal betting shop, got receipt, I not afraid already. Lucky la the gomen legalise betting, no need to be afraid one.

Man1: Wa good la like this, last time also I want to bet but cannot find people to bet with me, now like this means easy to bet la.

Man2: Good la like this, no need to secretly find people to bet and haggle, just go into the shop and bet. Like that means if last time a few thousand people only bet, now at least a few hundred thousand people can bet la.

Man1: Yes la, my friends and relatives from other countries all want to migrate here already because easy to bet one.

Man2: I heard they say ah, they all planning to make electiion betting legal also. SPR will be given the licence.


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