Tuesday 24 February 2009

The Investigation

Boss: Okay, open up the books and lets see if there are any irregularities.

Officer: Boss, page 1 itself has so many. There are so many spelling mistakes.

Boss: You idiot, I am not talking about spelling mistakes, we are suppose to look for mismanagement or corrupt acts, you are a real donkey la.

Officer: If I am a donkey why then you took me in, in the first place? It was you who interviewed me.

Boss: I took you because I know you are a donkey. I took you in because I don't want thinking people around, just follow orders.

Officer: Oh and I thought you took me in because I was the cleverest of the Pemuda group in my kampung.

Boss: Just look for irregularities okay.

Officer: What about this. They passed housng projects on dangerous hillslopes?

Boss: Huh! When?

Officer: 2005.

Boss: No, nothing irregular.

Officer: They build kampung roads for 5 million a km in 2002.

Boss: No, next one.

Officer: They bought prime real estates in Mecca and later sold for the same amount, no profit at all. 2006 and 2007.

Boss: Can you get something more recent? Just look for something after 8 March 2008. All before that is unimportant.

Officer: But boss, those before that date are all irregular, how come you say they are not important?

Boss: Didn't I tell you that I took you in to just follow orders and not to think? I'll do the thinking here, that's why I am boss, head of this commission.

Officer: There is none that I can find.

Boss: What? None? Are you sure? Have you scrutinised everything?

Officer: Yep boss, every letter in every page, all I can find are some spelling mistakes.

Boss: What about that thing there?

Officer: What thing?

Boss: That one with the words 'lembu' there?

Officer: Oh, this one. There is nothing wrong boss. They bought cows to slaughter for the poor. Wah! they all good people la boss.

Boss: What they bought cows to slaughter for the poor? That is not right. They are not supposed to do that. Those people are poor because they chose to be so. Its not the government's business to help them.

Officer: But boss, this is for Hari raya Haji la boss, korban la boss.

Boss: What Raya Haji, what korban? This one cannot, it's mismanagement, it's improper.

Officer: But what's wrong boss?

Boss: Let me see the report. Look at the price. Why so cheap? If it had been the dentist, I am sure the price would have been higher, stupid people.

Officer: But boss, cheap la good. I cannot comprehend you la boss.

Boss: Like I said, you are not paid to think, just follow orders. Book him.


Anonymous said...

Only in Malaysia, only with Malaysian leaders..that we have such mindless actions.
Okay.. not mindless but a mindful act to sabotage?

BravoEagleHotel said...

For 51 years we,Malaysians have been led like LembuS and yet so many cronies still waiting for spill over post 308 ... Sighhh Malaysians ... hmmm ade spare borang hijau ke .. nak cari Obama

kopitelp16 said...

Maybe the boss is too free since all Ministers, Deputies, their spouses, dogs, cats, cows are so clean. Maybe their too afraid to go after the biggies.... so what they can investigate are chicken feed cases.

MACC is a joke and I must say our dear PM has a weird sense of humour.

SFGEMS said...

Your talent is so wasted here! You should be a scriptwriter in Hollywood.

However, no complains from me, it's always fun reading your posts!


Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha, very funny lah. The Boss looks like lembu, and a useless one too.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

this MACC thing hangat2 taik lembu je la. good start my ass. they only open the book from march8 2008 onwards. prior to that tak kira. like Peng said, only in Malaysia.

Ydiana said...


Don't they know that any people with the right mind are so disgusted over this stupid issue?

Pak Zawi said...

Anak dia kena tangkap bawa porn ke Australia pun senyap je. Orang macam ni la Pak Lah nak. Senang kowtim.

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Den oso wan to wok at Suruhanjaya Pelajaran Rondah Malaysia lah camni. Sonang je korjo; masuk opis pagi pagi, buka pail. Potang nak balik, tutup pail. Apo ado dalam pail tu, bukan nak kono baco kan? :)

Anonymous said...

nice piece cikgu.you rule!. put a smile on my face after a long day at work which was marred by an incident during breaktime by a lapdoh which barked " orang muda sekarang tak patriotik sebab tak masuk **** dan derhaka kepada sultan pun sebab itu! i was dumfounded, stumped,shellshocked and aghast! what a load of crap! the lapdog has a few pingat bestowed along the years being a lapdog! we are heading to the cliff lah cikgu ! god save us all!

Sammy said...

Hee!Heee! Thanks for the laugh...!

Anonymous said...

Pak Lah said in Parliament, Lingam case is marked with no further action. Satu Malaysia tahu what is going on and he is blur with the case. Habis cerita.

monsterball said...

KTN seems to be able to put out a scrip to tell the idiotic mentalities of a pro UMNO agency.
Boss must be will paid o be that stupid.
It's like watching Laurel & Hardy talking to each other.
KTN scrips are getting better and better.


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