Friday, 13 June 2008

Mahabeth

Witch1: By Jove's dangling nuts, where are we?

Witch2: What? Jove's nuts dangles?

Witch3: Why don't you two shut up and focus. I don't like this. This is a forest but I don't think this is Scotland.

Witch1: You can say that again.

Witch2: Why do want her to say it again, I heard her loud and clear, didn't you?

Witch3: Oh Belzebub help me please, why do I have to suffer these two numb skulls?

Witch2: Shh, shhh, someone's coming. I smell fresh meat.

Witch1: You call that fresh? That guy's gotta be 80 and the Black Knight aint no spring chicken either.

Witch3: Would you two idiots just shut up or do you want me to do it for you?

Witch2: Ok, ok, you don't have to get cranky. Son of the devil, you sure got up on the wrong side of the bed.

Man1: Sam, what is that?

Man2: What? Where?

Man1: Those things on the tree.

Man2: Which tree? Hey don't scare me la. You know I've got a bad heart.

Man1: Hey I was the one with the 2 bypass. Look there, up that big tree .

Man2: Oh, my god, they look like witches la.

Man1: Of course they do coz they are witches.

Witch2: Are they looking at us? Are they talking about us? Hmm the Black Knight look kinda cute, how do I look?

Witch3: Get ready to jump on the count of three.

Witch2: On three of after three?

Witch3: Lord Satan, why, why, of all the thousands of witches, why do I have to land with this one. Why don't you just take me?

Witch1: Here they come, here they come, three.

Witch3: Where's number two? Oh never mind.

Man1: Sam, ask them who they are?

Man2: Why should I? You are the one who wants to know. I just want to get out of here.

Man1: Hey witches, aren't you the three witches in Macbeth?

Witch2: Hey we are even more popular than we thought.

Witch3: Yes we are, so what business is it of yours?

Witch2: Must you always be suspicious? Black Knight is a real looker if you know what I mean. Yes, we are and so how could we help you huh, handsome?

Man1: Can you tell us what's to become of us, minus the double talk please, we don't want to be fooled in 'deepest consequences' if you know what I mean.

Witch1: Oh, you read Shakespeare don't you. Hmm interesting.

Witch3: Shut up, now let me see. You, the White Knight, you would one day be King. er er it says here the highest power in the land, so that must be king right?

Man1: Nope, that's the Prime Minister.

Witch3: Okay, let me say it again, you will be Prime Minister.

Witch2: If you know what is good for you, leave the judges and a certain deputy alone, don't bail your children and cronies out with the people's money and don't spend the people's money to build empty buildings.

Witch1: Beware of the Sleepy One and his son in law.

Man1: Anymore prophecies?

Witch2: Uh, uh, nada.

Man2: How about me? Whats my future?

Witch2: Let me handle him. You would be the PM's loyal General but he's gonna dump you one day. Tell you what, you could always come with me and I'll take real good care of you. What do you say huh?

Man2: Tun, Tun, I don't like the look on that witch's face.

Man1: What do you mean I will be PM? I was already a PM until I retired 4 years ago. Do you mean I will be PM again?

Witch3: What? You were already PM? Hmm let me see. Ooops! sorry, that was Chapter 12. Hmm let me see Chapter 13, ah, here it is. It says, oh oh I don't think you would want to hear this.

Man2: What, what, what did Chapter 13 say?

Man1: Sam, she's talking about my future so please buzz off. Okay, I am ready to hear it. Give it to me, straight to the face.

Witch3: Ok, don't tell me I didn't warn you. You are going to die a lonely death. Your legacies dismantle one by one and your dogs are going to eat your bones, after all they are paid, what do you call it here in this country of yours, Balacis.

Man2: Ayo, Tun pity you la. Er, what about me?

Witch2: Pretty much the same, but my offer still stands.

6 comments:

Zawi said...

Cikgu,
You don't seem to run out of ideas. Its refreshing to read it the way Shakespeare wrote. Don't you think we are lucky to have learn their language?
Otherwise we will be reading and writing sajak and pantun only.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Of all Shakespear's work, I love most Macbeth and King lear and Sonnet 18. Real lovely.

bayi said...

Cikgu

I think I hear Shakespeare snickering in his grave lah!

tokasid said...

Witch 3:

ladies!Whats that over there?

witch1: What?Where?

witch3:there! 3 old funny man with funny ead gears

man1: Oh shit! Apanama....thats bomoh.The witch doctors.

Witch2:Look...are they doctors or are they witches?

Man2: They are witch doctors!

Witch1: They are doctors and witches? its 2 in 1 isn't it?

Witch3: Hey then I can consult them for my hypertension

Witch2:Hey bomoh! Yuhooo...over here!

Man1: Wht are you alerting them.They are here to get rid of you...

Witch1:What? Kah3...and how are they going to do that.Nothing can harm us.

Man1: See those things in their hands?

Witch2: Aha...whats that?

Man1:Its the keris.They can sula you with that.

Witch3: Sula?Whats that?

Man2: Sula means they sodomise you with the keris.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Doc,
Exactly the weapon I have in mine for that old man, a nice sharp sula.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Bayi,
Yea, and the witches are chuckling too.

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