Wednesday 3 December 2008

Papa's boy.

Candidate: There shouldn't be any vernacular schools. All must be national schools, period. Teach everything in Bahasa Malaysia accept of course mother tongue subjects laa, ha, right or not. I mean how can't you teach Chinese and Tamil in BM, right or not? hahahahahahaha. You see they all also laughing at my joke, why aren't you laughing? Laugh la, laugh. If you don't laugh I tell my father, hahahahahaha. Hoi you all over there laugh la, I am joking la.

Machais: What Datuk, you are joking ka? I thought you serious, oi, laugh la, Datuk joking. Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Journo: But, but Datuk, when your father was in power for centuries, why didn't he do it, why now his son is asking for it?

Candidate: At that time cannot. You gila ka? If he had demanded that, in 1999 we all bungkus already. Now can la.

Journo: Yes la, Datuk, why now can? Whats the difference?

Candidate: The difference is that at that time I wasn't going for the post, now I am. Hahahahahaha, you see, so simple one. I am clever like my father no?

Journo: You said all other subjects should be taught in BM, what about Science and Maths Datuk? Teach in BM also ka? What would your father say?

Candidate: Maths and Science are very important subjects, especilally in this day and age. Everyone must be good at Maths and Science. The government should provide teachers with 3 laptops each to teach these subjects. Don't worry, we have the suppliers.

Journo: Yes, thats good Datuk but in what medium should they be taught? English or BM?

Candidate: I say, why worry about small matter like that one. We have bigger issues to talk about. That is why we are not progressing as rapidlly as we should because we like to look at small matters. I mean we should talk about building science labs at every bus station and public toilets where people could go in and conduct experiments. Don't worry we have the contractors and suppliers for it. We have Petronas and EPF to finance.

Journo: No, la Datuk, just out of curiosity, just now you said teach all subjects in BM accept mother tongue languages, so what about Maths and Science?

Candidate: See, see, touching on trivial matters again. Do you know that in Palestine, thousands are being slaughtered? Do you know that Mugabe is actually a philantropist? Do you know that Mars at one time could have living organisms? Do you know that Hang Tuah actually did not circumsise until he was 32 and that he did it because Puteri Gunung Ledang called him Kulup? These are the things we should talk about not about small matters.

Journo: So, you are not going to answer the question Datuk?

Candidate: No, ask me about more important matters.

Journo: Do you think the Chinese and Indians would take to this idea?

Candidate: Why shouldn't they? This is Malay land, that is why it is called Malaysia not Chinasia or Tamilsia? Hahahahahahaha, terror or or not I joke. Oi, machais, laugh la, I just cracked a good one.

Machais: Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Candidate: They must accept this. I think I would also like to propose citizenship rentals.

Journo: What? Whats that?

Candidate: We privatise the citizenship status of all citizens in this country but of course the Malays would be given a discount la. If you don't pay your citizenship rental, you leave the country. Don't worry we have the companies to handle this.

16 comments:

AngeL BeaR said...

you blog always one of the best I read~ =) keep it up!

Anonymous said...

Seems like a trip to the city of saiful unblocked your writer's blog!
This candidate will do well with contractors, because Luping revealed that there are 1,560 contractors among the 2,600 delegates eligible to vote in Umno. Hahahahahah.. the machais are laughing!

Unknown said...

Angel,
Thanx for the positive response. Glad you like it.

Unknown said...

peng,
With contractors hogging the show what else then but contracts, contracts and contracts. He who promises to dish out the most contract wins.
Yes, appu boy is the front runner so I heard but it seems that someone else is going to pip him to the tape by a nose.

kopitelp16 said...

Cruel! Well, I loved your postings!

BravoEagleHotel said...

Ooops i lupa to pay my privatise citizen fees ... no wonder I kenot go to U ... hahahaha good one cikgu,keep it going ..

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Rumour has it that the language to be used is the same as his great great grandfather - on Madey's side, that is. Yahoo! Now, I can learn another language :)

Unknown said...

Bravo,
Never ever forget to pay your citizenship rentals. You can forget to eat but not the rental.

Unknown said...

Kopitelp16,
Yes a little cruel but they are worse.

Unknown said...

Shah,
I already know how to swear quite well in that language.

Mike said...

Good one, Chegu. Nowadays, I see the non-Malays can speak 3 languages, but the Malays, only Bahasa Malaysia. Siapa rugi? Of course the Malays. Due to policy made by Malay leaders whose children study abroad or international schools.

We used to speak better English than our parents (if they ever did), but now, we parents speak better than oue children. What a waste.

Unknown said...

Mike,
It shows that the Malay leaders care only for themselves, not their race. All this Ketuanan melayu is just a justification to enrich themselves.

Mat Salo said...

Hehheeheeeee.... I dunno how it's possible to merapu macam Chegu ni.. ada course ka buleh ambik nak tulih camtu? Lani nak refer Komentar radio rosak in previous post... betui ke depa blushing tu.. :)

Unknown said...

Mat Salo,
Dia bukan blushing tapi 'teganging' but tak elok la cerita yang tu.

Anonymous said...

Zorro recommended me to your blog. Worthy of praise! Added you to my blogroll.

Great script! No worries we will have the last laugh!

Unknown said...

Danial,
Welcome to my humble blog and agree the last laugh would be ours and its gonna be a real blast.

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