Thursday 6 December 2007


The through pass from the defence split created an opening right in centre-field. As the forward tried to get the ball he accidentally tripped fell flat on his face. There was not a soul near him. The referee blew the whistle to stop the match. He ran to the goalkeeper of the opposing team and dug his back pocket for the yellow card. The crowd was silent and stunt except for a pocket of supporters of the visiting side who were cheering the referee’s decision.

The goalkeeper tried pleading with the referee but he arrogantly smiled and waved him off. As the referee was about to restart the game the captain of the visitors approached him and discussed something. The referee then ran towards the linesman and after a short discussion with the linesman and the captain, they were joined by the Manager of the visiting team who curiously carried an envelope. Smiling, the referee handed the envelope to the linesman and blew his whistle while running to the home-team’s penalty box. He pointed to the box signalling that a penalty was awarded.

The home boys, crowded round the referee to enquire what was going on but he just smiled. “I am the referee; I know what I am doing. I have been refereeing for a long time and I had always been fair.”

“Do you call this fair?” the captain shouted at the referee. The referee just turned to the stands and signalled the riot squad who ran in and beat the captain up. The home team supporters were getting restless and started stomping their feet to protest the referee’s decision and all of a sudden they were rained with chemically laced water from somewhere. A reporter from a middle east tv news station was also apprehended for filming the incident. All the crowd could hear was the words 'erection, erection, erection' from a burly dark-skinned man.

Back at the field, the referee instructed that the goalkeeper be blindfolded. He was asked to turn the other side facing the back of his own goal. Both his left leg and hand were cuffed to the upright post. The captain of the visiting team smiled and placed the ball on the spot to take the kick. As the whistle blew, he ballooned the ball over the post. The referee was silent for a while. The supporters of the home team were ecstatic by what the called divine intervention but their joy was short-lived. The referee awarded a goal saying that the goalkeeper had breathed causing a turbulence that made the ball missed the target.

The visiting team was thrashed that day. They did not take it without a fight and immediately filed a complaint to the body governing the competition.

After what seemed like eternity, the governing body released a press statement.

After viewing the replay of the match in question and following the many consultations we had with various experts, namely, The Department of Civil Aviation, The DOE, Rela, PUSPANITA, The producers of Akademi Fantasia at ASTRO, The Road and Transport Department, FINAS and The association of VIP Sons-in-Law we have come to the following conclusion.

1.. The centre forward of the visiting team fell because the manager of the home team had silently wished for it to happen. We have tape recordings of the silent wish.

2. In addition to the referee’s report that the goalkeeper had breathed when the kicker of the home team was about to take the kick we also have an affidavit from a Shaman in Chad who said that he was approached by the home team to sabotage the kick.

3.As for the sending off of the captain of the home team, the referee reported that the captain actually caressed his backside and asks him ‘How much’. For this misdemeanor we have also agreed to hand the captain a life ban from playing soccer.

4. We hereby award victory to the visiting team and will only be available to hear any appeals after we get home from our paid vacation in Switzerland where we will be taking lots of pictures.



cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Hehe...this is more than moving the goalpost - siap ikat goalkeeper like some macho-sadistic ritual lak lagi! lol! :)

Unknown said...

But this is what is going on. They used all the unfair tactics available and they don't do it on the sly. They do it openly coz they know they have every decision making body in their hands.

Mr. Right said...

Good one.

Instead of use Home and Visitor you shuld name the teams.

Liverpool and M.U maybe.. heheh..

16 Dec... cant wait.

Accia said...

salam chegu,
ala chegu, maaf saya tak berapa bab bola ni. ingatkan chegu nak cerita pasai eurosport. fun pulak tengok 'curling' tu. teringat khir's penyapu. heee...

Unknown said...

Mr Right,
Liverpool nak kena 3 team kuat berturut-turut.

1. Lawan Marseile 50/50
2. Lawan Man Utd sure kalah
3. Lawan Chelsea 70/30 for Liverpool.

Unknown said...

Nanti saya cuba macam mana nak buat post macam ni berlatar belakangkan music pulak.

Accia said...

walaupun saya tak berapa dalam bab bola ni, tapi saya dah puas ketawa kat sini. kiasan chegu tu memang saya nanti-nantikan. bila cerita pada suami tentang entri ni, saya siap berlakun jadi goalkeeper tu. heee.... :D

Kerp (Ph.D) said...


tell me, was it mike riley or graham poll? or could possibly be tan sri rashid? hahaha...

* i wish i could thank you personally for having said some piece of your mind to that stupid jerk. but i'm grateful to have someone like you i can count on. thank you, sir.

Unknown said...

If I feel you were wrong I would have said so but in this case, that jerk asked for it.

It was not only that raSHIT fella, but it is also the whole system.

Mat Salo said...

Chegu! Belardey hell, man. This is a CLASSIC. Apa? Assoc. of VIP Son-in-laws? Sonofa-Khan.. eh sorry. Chegu keep this up. Not too many satirist around. And seriously Chegu, you should be in some IPT'a literary department teaching Creative Writing specializing in satire (minor hantam gomen).. Heh.

tokasid said...

Salam che'gu:

The scene nampak macam SPR FA saja dgn BN sebagai Home team dan opposition sbg away team. LOL!

(ni aku jumpa internet cafe kat Luxor. Hang tau ka? Fir'aun dok blog kat sebelah aku ni....LOL!)

Unknown said...

Coming from a brilliant writer like you, I am indeed flattered.

Unknown said...

Yes, its about the BN shit what else. It is about how they openly abuse their powers. Saja nak lepaih stim. Dia mai bila baca about the possibility of Zaki being the new Chief Judge, pas tu teringat kat Rashid SPR pulak so combine 2 character ni la.

WY said...

brilliant. :) simply brilliant.

glad to know that even cikgu is seeing through the sandiwara

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