Wednesday 23 May 2007

My Brother is Gone

Its all over, he passed away at about 5.30 this evening. I just got home for a while to change and do other needfuls before going back.

On Monday, I received a call from my sister in law saying that he was hospitalised again but this time at the Kepala Batas Hospital. She said that he looked very runned down so she was worried. The doctors told her that his cancer was in such an advance stage that all they could offer was to make him a little more comfortable. They did tap his stomach to drain about 1.4 liters of fluid and inserted a tube through his penis to drain his bladder.

On Tuesday he was at his antics again. Maybe because he felt a little better, he was demanding to go home. He was so insistant to the point of being almost violent. So they had no choice but to discharge him. I don't blame the hospital, it was his choice. At home last night he was quite ok. In fact he did strike a conversation with his wife and the new groom although he was quite unaudible most of the time.

This morning I called my second brother to enquire and he said that my brother was still sleeping which was quite unusual. My brother did say that he was a little worried coz my eldest brother did not seem to response to their calls. A few minutes after that I received a call from my second brother saying that it was ok, he was responding.

Then at about 11.30 I received another call from my second brother asking me to go over there coz he seemed to have deteriorated. I could only leave at about 12.15. I was in his place in half an hour and I saw him lying down, with his head propped against 2 pillows, his mouth opened and he was almost struggling for breath. When I saw him I knew that the end was near but kept it to myself.

At about 4.30, the new groom went to the porch where I was sitting saying that he and his elder brother had decided to call for an ambulance. I was taken aback but I understood their concern. Though I was not for it I did nothing to stop them. At about 5pm the ambulance arrived. I was in tears when I saw them struggling to get him into the stretcher. Not once did he open his eyes. He was still still struggling for breath. They put him into the ambulance and went off followed by my nephews in their car. My sister in law was with my brother in the ambulance.

I told my second brother that this is the last time he will see my eldest brother alive in that house. We were chatting when the phone rang and true enough the report was my brother was no more. I was expecting it, I knew it would happen sooner or later to which I prayed that it would be sooner but I still could not control myself. I got out to the porch, sat on a settee and cried like a baby.

We were told that he died on arrival, probably in the ambulance itself. The whole process in the hospital did not take long and his body arrived home at sometime after 6. He looked peaceful, a far cry from the struggling look I saw about an hour or so earlier. This time I couldn't care less if there were people around, I just emptied my eyes. Tears were flowing freely. I did call zorro to tell him about it coz his is the only phone number of fellow bloggers that I have. I did also tell him to inform Monsterball. Many may see him as a rougue but I see him as a friend and brother.

Now I am here typing my heart out while waiting for the missus to get prepared for the trip there. This time a lifeless body would be waiting for me and while typing this last line, I am crying again.


tokasid said...

Salam che'gu:

Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi roji'un.
Semoga ALLAH merahmati roh Allahyarham abang che'gu dan di ampun segala dosa-dosa beliau dan dosa-dosa kita semua. Semoga dia di tempatkan bersama golongan yg beriman dan bakal mendapat syafaat Nabi s.a.w. Ameen.

Saya harap che'gu sekeluarga bersabar menghadapi ujian ini terutamanya isteri dan anak2 Allahyarham.

monsterball said...

kata tak nak...I am honoured you treat me as a brother and zorro did tell me the sad news.
'Leave the dead to the dead" said Jesus and Buddha taught me to 'let go'
So I say to you my brother...your brother's sufferings are finally over.Now take care of your health.
When I saw my beloved father suffered for few years due to poor health....I prayed for his death...and I hope when my time comes...I will do so...not afraid and let go. Take friend.

Anonymous said...

Ina lillahi wa ina Ilayhi rajioon.
Salam takziah buat keluarga cikgu

zewt said...


Firstly, my deepest heartfelt condolence to you.

And i know exactly how you feel. I felt the same thing 2 months ago. I guess he really wanted to be at home rather than being in hospital. i am glad at least. do the needful... and may his soul finally find rest... and a new life without all the pain and suffering.


Anonymous said...


Takziah dari BigDog.

Sesungguhnya, Allah s.w.t. maha mengetahui dan maha pengampun. Semoga roh saudara kandung yang pergi itu dirahmati dan diberikan tempat yang baik selepas ini.

Semoga Tuan bersabar dan tabah menerima dugaan dan ketentuan Allah, Tuhan yang Esa dan maha mengasihani.

Kenanglah masa masa manis bersama beliau dan hadiahkan dengan doa.

bakaq a.k.a ~penarik beca said...

Cik Gu

Aku baru tau. Mudah-mudahan Allah melimpahkan Allahyarham dengan segala keampunan-Nya dan dihimpunkan dengan hamba-hamba-Nya yang soleh.

Dari Allah kita datang, kepada-Nya jua kita akan menyerah diri dan mengharapkan keampunan-Nya.

ZABS said...

Assalumualaikum Chegu,

Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi roji'un.
Takziah untuk Chegu dan ahli keluaraga. Semoga ALLAH merahmati roh Allahyarham abang che'gu dan diampunkan segala dosa-dosa beliau dan juga dosa-dosa kita Muslimin dan Muslimat, Mukminin dan Mukminat. Semoga Allahyarham di tempatkan bersama golongan orang2 yang beriman. InsyaAllah. Ameen.

Anonymous said...

Funny how this cyber tool has brought us all closer together.
Despite our differences, we bloggers seemed to have bonded quite quickly.

My deepest condolence goes out to you and your family on his passing. You are all in our thoughts at this trying period.

I hope that you can see that he has gone to a better place. He seems to have suffered enough. Instead of sorrow, I also hope that you can celebrate his better days by having cheerful memories in your thoughts.

Phlegmatic Melancholic said...

Kata Tak Nak..

Salam Takziah to you and your family. It's difficult to see someone close to us passed away. But sometime we have to believe that their leaving us is the best for them rather than seeing them suffering.

More important now is for you to let him go.


wanshana said...

Assalamua'laikum Kata Tak Nak...

Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi roji'un.

I have been a silent reader and have been following your postings on Arwah. As I clicked to your Blog, and started reading this posting, such timing - the A'zan Suboh (programmed in my notebook) went on, and my tears just fell freely...

Semoga roh Arwah dikumpulkan di kalangan para soleh dan solehah, dan semoga diampunkan segala dosa-dosa beliau...Aamin.

He is free from all the pain and suffering now.

May he rest in peace. Aamin.

Semoga Allah SWT memberi kekuatan kepada KTN dan keluarga Arwah di dalam meredhai ketentuanNya. Aamin.

Anonymous said...

salaam kata tak nak

Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi roji'un.

Semoga rohnya dirahmati Allah SWT.

Salaam takziah kpd sekeluarga.

Unknown said...

KataTakNak: Innalillahi Wa inna ilahi roji'un...bro...sedih saya mendengar berita ini semalam. Tetiba jadi tak berdaya nak put a comment in here...

Semoga Rohnya ditempatkan dikalangan yang beriman. Semoga you and family tabah dan kuat menghadapi dugaan ini.

BaitiBadarudin said...

Innalillahi Wa inna ilahi roji'un...
Semoga Allah mencucuri Rahmat ke atas roh Allahyarham dan tempatkan di kalangan yang beriman.
Semoga sdr dan keluarga tabah menghadapi ujian ini, wassalam.

Mat Salo said...

Innalillahi wa inna illahi roji'un..

Al-Fatihah kepada Allahyarham.

Takziah kepada Cikgu sekeluarga,



kata tak nak :

Takziah. Semoga roh nya di cucuri rahmat dan di berkati Allah SWT.


kata tak nak :

Takziah. Semoga roh nya di cucuri rahmat dan di berkati Allah SWT.


bersabar. semoga roh kekanda sdra bersama orang soleh.himmat dena apne aap ko.

Lenggong Valley said...

We dont know each other but takziah all the same from me. Al-fatihah.

J.T. said...

May his soul rest in peace.
He has gone to a better place. He suffers no more.

Apandi said...

Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi roji'un.

Takziah chikgu. Thank you for showing me how to be strong and act at times such as this.


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