Tuesday 16 June 2009

No porn please, we are civil servants?

KUALA LUMPUR, June 16 – Barred from online chatting, or moving files
larger than 10 megabytes, Malaysian civil servants are also banned from
accessing dozens of porn sites
, the Parliament was told today.

They are also not allowed to use the Internet facility in the office to play games, videos and music.

Civil servants are also prohibited from using the modem to directly access the Internet.

In a written reply to a question from Seputeh MP Teresa Kok, the
Prime Minister listed down the addresses of 38 local porn sites which
are considered offensive by the government.

I got the above here. Please look carefully at the phrases in red. They are quite interesting. First let me tell you that I do not know if those are the exact words of the government or the people at Malaysian Insider chose to report it that way. I am going to take it that those are the words used by the gomen so if I am wrong, blame Malaysian Insider.

1. Malaysian civil servants are also banned from
accessing dozens of porn sites

I am a Malaysian civil servant. From the above I am made to understand that I am not allowed to access dozens of porn sites. I understand that there are tens of thousands of porn sites and Malaysian civil servants are only not allowed to access dozens, meaning, we can access the rest? Hey let us know man. To make it easier on you, let us know the names of the dozens of porn sites that we are not allowed to access. We will pin the names on our notice boards. Porn sites not in the list are okay. Hey I am beginning to like this government already.

2. prohibited from using the modem to directly access the Internet.

Now this is getting me a bit confused. I have internet connection at home. I get through the net via a modem. We have internet access in school and we could only get through via modem. I have friends who subscribe to Maxis and Celcom broadband and they swore to me that they could only access the net through modems provided by the above companies. I still have friends who use dial-up, you know the 56K dinosaurs? I could have sworn that they call those contraptions modems.

I admit I am not that tech savvy but how the hell do you access the net without modems? If government offices, like district offices, school offices and staff rooms and computer labs, state secretariats and the lots are not allowed to use the modem to access the internet, what do they use? If there were gadgets that allow one to access the internet without modems, are the offices mentioned earlier equipped with them? You mean we could throw our modems away?

3. 38 local porn sites which
are considered offensive by the government.


From the above, only 38 local porn sites are deemed offensive by the government. Are there only 38 local porn sites or are there more? If there are more than 38 are those not in the 38, not offensive? If there are only 38 and they are considered offensive what about the tens of thousands of foreign porn sites? Are they not offensive and therefore civil servants are allowed to access them as long as they do it without modems, if that is possible and available? To clear this confusion please send a circular to all government departments with a list of the offensive porn sites so that we, civil servants, may avoid them and not get on the wrong side of the law. We promise we will not chat or move files larger than 10mb. We will only visit non offensive porn sites and drool.

27 comments:

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Phew! Good thing kerpie and I are not civil servants. We, therefore, can surf all the sites we want. Poor you :)

As for number 2., I am, as you admit, not a techie. But perhaps, the word should be condom kut, not modem :)

For no.3, please read no. 1.

Wait, wait! What about tabloids and sleezy magazines? I know at least one daily - sarkas owned - that likes to launt ladies in revealing dress. Then at least one magazine - also sarkas owned - that likes to put actresses in poses that would put thoughts into young fellas like me. Also another magazine - owner closely linked to sarkas - that likes to print lewd and lurid stories. All these najibus say can ar?

Hanief said...

Berkenaan dengan nombor 2, mungkin di Parlimen atau pun di pejabat-pejabat jabatan kerajaan, mereka ada WIFI atau pun gelombang internet yang tanpa-wayar dan dengan-wayar (LAN port) yang boleh digunakan.

Jadinya, berita ini menyatakan bahawa individu terlibat tidak boleh memakai modem sendiri (modem WIMAX atau pun Wireless 3G dan lain-lain). Kononnya tak mahu pekerjanya bikin kerja lain dan buang masa.

Hanief said...

iPhone 3Gs jika dilihat, ia mampu mencapai talian Internet daripada ISP dengan kebolehan 3Gnya. Ia mempunyai kamera (boleh rakam video dan dimuat-naik ke YouTube).

Kerajaan tak mampu nak sekat maklumat semasa dengan kecanggihan iPhone atau pun telefon seumpamanya.

fahmi said...

salam cikgu.. hahahahaha dunno why. but mmg kelakar la.. 38 sites only? prohibited from using modem to directly access the internet? hahaha
man, the comedy keeps getting better day by day.. hehehe

ahoo said...

Cikgu,

Next they will banned Internet access for certain category of civil servants except the bosses !

The Internet can be a good educational tool for youths or can be harmful when misuse to lead the youths astray into trying things seen or shown on those sites.

We seem to go in circle with govt policies changing gears every now and then. If the govt thinks that the civil servants are not ready in facing the borderless world, then certain amount of censorship be implemented from the govt offices. Anyway those staffs are paid to work and have no business surfing the nets which is of not related to their work.

frankie said...

Cikgu, porn site is like dessert, after some serious stuff on the net especially with the messy political news in our country, a lil bit of porn is good. Weather is soft core or hard core, depends on the surfer's preferance, just like we like our drinks manis or kurang manis.

As for civil servants checking out porn sites, well, I think our politicians did that a lot. Go ask the cigar chomping guy who likes squeezing ladies buttock.

Me? I still have my 6 boxes of porn with me.

Anonymous said...

Salam cikgu,
Saya rasa itu 38 porno site depa punya,khas untuk gang-gang elit orang atasan. Mungkin spesial sikit.Pelakon pun gang elit.You know who they are!! The rest you and me can surf. No problemlah. I rasa itu yang nak disampaikan kepada kita rakyat di bawah. Just my 2sen cikgu.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hehehhehe..i am so with shah. only civil servants arent allowed to view smut vids...in other words joe publics like us can go knock ourselves up.

but but...if it was true only a dozens site are not permissible, i'm happy to provide a few sites that are not in the list. but first the gomen must reveal the full list la...

p/s- i bet Gutter-uncencored tops the the chart.

Singam said...

It is possible that those 38 banned sites carry unsavoury images of important people whose images need to be protected.

admin said...

salam chekgu..it have been a long time i've drop my comment here..huhu

em..when u wrote about porn..
bammmmmmmmmmmm..
suddenly i think about Sabul.
and hey,the file in there is less than 10mb,its 3gp..and 3gp=malaysia punya..hehehe..
but the site is no longger operated,but like old man says,harimau mati meningglkan belang,sabul mati meningglakn link utk didownload..hoyeahhhhhh..

but i think theres a good think about the local porn site,atleast when we are looking for wife or menantu,we can check 1st weather they have been act in those video or not..isnt it??

however,i think they are trying to keep the gomen people from reading kata tak nak la..hahahaha

Anonymous said...

Lou-Sher
I thot we pay tax from our peanut salary to feed gomen servant to work harder to serve the people, instead these gomen see blue-internet kah??? no wonder they look tired day night and lazy to work.... probably blue-internet made them back-ache kah???

Aiyoo... PAS fighting each other, and gomen servant surfing blue-internet websites; like that malaysia economy become like zimbabwe lah... no need mahathir become PM, still can go kaput!

We at home so tired after hard work, cannot even bonk our partner this gomen servant tired bonking day and night... no wonder 7-11 going listed soon.

like that, the plastic disposal konthom polluting tanah like that. cannot plant taugeh aso you know...

Unknown said...

Shah,
But they are going to extend the ruling to anyone who supports the opposition, so sorry Shah.

Unknown said...

Hanief,
Ntah, ntah masa sidang parlimen pun depa dol surf kot?

Unknown said...

Fahmi,
Memang funny depa ni.

Unknown said...

ahoo,
they are never serious la. They say they will do this and do that but when there is so much money to be made they forget everything.

Unknown said...

Frankie,
You mean an hour of porn a day keeps the doctor away ka?

Unknown said...

Anonymous,
Aku pun rasa macam tu la. Mesti depa ada sama dalam tu.

Unknown said...

kerp,
I think they you should send them some more sites because actually I have never surfed porn on government time.

Unknown said...

Singam,
With the way they are treating these sites, I would not be surprised otherwise why only 38?

Unknown said...

fatso,
I think they should not ban la, because in the spirit of malaysia Boleh, we must allow locals to be A1 porn stars.

Unknown said...

lao sher,
To those government servants who chat and surf porn I t6hink they should resign la.

Hamba said...

LOL! Bodoh punya United Monkeys! 1Malaysia Gelak kat monyet2 bodoh yg ada dalam United Monkeys N Orangutans! 1Malaysia menangis sebab Kerajaan Malaysia dipenuhi oleh monyet2 bodoh bangang! 1Malaysia meludah dan menyumpah kat orang2 melayu, cina dan india yg bodoh sangat mengundi monyet2 ni semua masa PRU yg lepas!

Unknown said...

Hamba,
Sabar Hamba sabar. Saya pun rasa macam tu dan we will show them, sabar. Ah, what the heck, maki la, syok jugak.

Mike Tan said...

I guess they mean do not abuse the
office internet connections and don't use office hours to surf net for leisure.I thought the department server can block sites
deem not suitable.

Anyway who to stop them when they are at home using their personal
modem.

Unknown said...

Mike Tan,
It is actually like this. When the civil servants that those giving the orders are not actually angels, why should they listen. I don't condone this but thats the way it is.

D'ayo said...

Macam kes mat rempitlah kot... tak bagi merempit tapi buat litar khas untuk bebudak merempit secara halal atas alasan keselamatan tapi kena sikit bayaran...

Jadi untuk mengatasi porn haram nie, besok-besok akan diadakan channel porn halal... RTM x ke, RTM SX... mula-mula semua rancangan Mat Salleh... lama sikit adalah rancangan tempatan...

Unknown said...

D'ayo,
Tu dah bagoih tu. RTM X and RTM XXX
dan Astro Blue.

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