Sunday, 28 September 2008

Business as usual.

Businessman: Er could I see the Big Daddy please?

Sec: Do you have an appointment?

Businessman: Yes, yes I do. My name's Mat Cilok secretary of the Bukit Banner division, Sarkas Party.

Sec: Hmm, let me see. ...... yes, you do have an appointment. The 2nd room on the left. Er, please knock and wait till you are called. Don't ever go in without being called if you know what is good for you.

Businessman: But, but, shouldn't it the the first room?

Sec:This is your 1st visit here?

Businessman: No, I have seen the last Big Daddy in his office many times and I distinctly remember its the 1st room.

Sec: Well in a way you are right but just do what I said and you'd get out of here in one piece.

Businessman: Okay and thank you. ...... what's taking so long? ...... Assalammu ..... sorry, I told the clerk this is not the right room.

BM: You are in the right room.

Businessman: But, but, er er

BM: Shut up and sit down. Where's the proposal?

Businessman: Here.

BM: Hmm, looks nice, are you sure these bacteria thing really works?

Businessman: Yes, I have seen it with my own eyes. The yield for padi would increase 200% and for Oil Palm 150%. I can get this item for 5 thousand a ton and sell it to the government for 10 thousand a ton. The improved yield would more than cover everything.

BM: Sell them to the government for 20 thousand a ton. 8 thousand mine and 12 thousand yours, minus 5 thousand you pay to buy it, you get 7 thousand.

Businessman: That's a good deal. How many tons do you think we should order initially?

BM: 50 thousand tons.

Businessman: 50? But that's more than we need and where am I going to find the money to pay for the import?

BM: It's okay, we just say that some were stolen and some went bad. As for the money, I'll get my brother in law to get his bank to give you a low interest loan. Oh one more thing. Before I sign, I want a Mercedes and a further 35 thousand a month for as long as this company is given the tender.

Businessman: But, but you have already got so much and now this.

BM: Take it or leave it. I do have this proposal with me. Hmm maybe I'd get someone to do it on my behalf, I don't have to split.

Businessman: Okay, okay, I agree. I'll see you again.

Wife: Abang, how was the meeting with The Man?

Businessman: What The Man are you talking about. Everything is handled by Big Mama.

17 comments:

bayi said...

Cikgu

I know this depicts a serious scenario buy excuse me, LOL!!!

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

As someone, or was it you, who commented: Sarkas where got balls? ;)

Zawi said...

Cikgu,
If this is the reality, the country is in deep shit.
Selamat Hari Raya.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

muahahahahaaaa...I SWEAR i didnt see that coming. but are you sure ke its the lady whos wearing pants in the house?

Anonymous said...

salam aidil fitri cikgu..maaf zahir batin..

al-banjari online
ABO

Kata Tak Nak said...

bayi,
Don't be surprise these dealings can be quiet close to what actually happens.

Kata Tak Nak said...

shah,
Yes, it was I and I still maintain my accusation.

Kata Tak Nak said...

zawi,
I have spoken to people who are victims of this kinds of dealings.

Kata Tak Nak said...

kerp,
There is this tactic employed by men who are having a hard time controlling their dicks. To pacify their missus, they give them lots of freedom.
I am not saying this is true in this case but from what I hear, Big mama is indeed a CEO.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Al Banjari,
Selamat hari Raya kembali. Harap dapat jumpa satu hari nanti.

Zubli Zainordin said...

Half an hour later...

Businesswoman: I say, why did the sec send me to this store...and you are in here now?

BM: I am having a headache now you know, so many changes here, since the stupid swapping of ports, folios, and all.

Businesswoman: Gee...I enjoyed meeting you in the 1st room when the Old Banana is never around.

BM: Ya Lah. Those were the days, when number I or II, makes no difference, and I am running the whole show.

Businesswoman: I also love the 2nd room though. Where we used to pekena Kari Kepala Ikan, baik punya, PM jet-send from our favorite Line Clear Restoren Nana.

BM: That was fun isn't it? The price of transportation was more than the price of the dishes.

Businesswoman: Ya Lah, if we asked Pak Mad the driver to do it, how much 10 sen, can we profit?

BM: Shyyyt! Don't speak so loudly so he can hear you, or tell Cik Gu Kata Tak Nak, directly.

Businesswoman: Why?

BM: He is the only Malaysian, appreciative with this Ministry's oil reduction move. I read his blog, and this is what he wrote:
*This is freakin madness man*

Businesswoman: I see, opps sorry, lips tight.

BM: I am a politician. If we can make a Malaysian teacher, one Cik Gu happy, then we are successful.

Businesswoman: Successful?

BM: Yes! You know the old s**t, Cemerlang, Gemilang, Terbilang. This awesomely cliche slogan, and yes, that one Cik Gu can influence the whole school system, nationwide. He is a blogger, mind you. Lots of visitors to his blog.

Businesswoman: Really?

BM: Yeah! Who was it recently stopping them from Cakap Politik in shools. Was it, the young guy who wave the keris. Anyway, if any politician do not apple polish these teachers, one day is enough the beginning, and we will see all over the Schools, a new opposite slogan: Malang, Kecundang, Lintang-pukang!

Businesswoman: So, to whom shall I submit this proposal?

BM: Don't look at me. I am nothing here now. Just, a store-keeper.

Businesswoman: Poor you.

BM: Wrong! I am filthy rich already.

Businesswoman: So, I shall go straight to 1st room, then? I sure love to see the new guy, and see what he has got. I shall flash this two twinnies to have his saliva drops off his rosy-lip mouth!

BM: Nope! He is only here on Monday mornings. Next, if you have the chance, do not go inside there 1st room, to be flashing anys. I might not see you ever again!

Businesswoman: What ever do you mean by that?

BM: Nothing! Forget what I said. So, please, from now onwards, all dealings here, you go straight to 2nd room. Inform the sec, she knows where to usher you. This is effective, from since the stupid swapping.

Businesswoman: So, who is the all-powerful, in 2nd room?

BM: You shall know. Bring along your business partner, preferably a male.

Businesswoman: I am beginning to smell somethin dirty here...

BM: Nothing dirty. Just a new fresh way of how things are run here. Oh yes, be prepared for this, when the one in 2nd room says: "Before I sign, I want a Mercedes and a further 35 thousand a month for as long as this company is given the tender."

Businesswoman: Okay, I take note of this point. Thank you. Allright, see you around Big Mamak!

Kata Tak Nak said...

Zubli,
That was a treat, simply lovely.

Zubli Zainordin said...

Thank you Cik gu.

Well, business as usual.

Let us both make appointment, and go into 2nd room, and buy her 2 mercedes.

I have a lot of 10 sen.

Kata Tak Nak said...

zubli,
You are quick witted. I like. 2 mercedes and load the C4s in the back please.

Zubli Zainordin said...

Now, now dear Cik gu.

Does this means, we are gonna have menly fun, main mercun this Syawal.

I remember the last time we school children played mercun kentot, and laughed at.

With C4s, these kids now grown up, call them to watch, then I can be a bit of show off, can I?

Yes, Malaysia Boleh!!!

Kata Tak Nak said...

But there is still a small matter that needs to be attended to. You see, to test those C4s we need someone to strap it to. The label in the box says, strap C4 to pretty descendant of great warrior who speaks many tongues.

Zubli Zainordin said...

I say Cik gu,

I may rest my case...What a pity. Straped eh?

Yet, let their case no rest.

Kaboom!

Actually, I really know about a hundred pretty descendants of great warriors.

But I have checked each, not one with many tongues.

Each has only one tongue.

Me too.

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