Tuesday 16 October 2007

My Hari Raya

As usual, Raya is for little children and since my children are all grown up, Raya is just another day. For me Raya had always been just another day with a little deviation from the normal routine accept this time I spent my 1st Raya as a bl0gger and had a blogger friend, over for my open house.This year is also the first year I celebrate Raya without my beloved eldest brother who passed away in May. It is simply not the same without him, May ALLAH bless his soul. Before I go on with my simple raya do, I would like to talk about something that got me all worked up first.

On the first day of Raya at about 11 I took my family out to my in laws for our usual courtesy Raya visit. My wife is the youngest so being the youngest she is expected to do the visit first. On the way I saw a few kids from the Batu Uban area, wondering along the roadside in their bests. So what about it? What about it? Doesn't the Nurin case ever taught us anything?

My daughter pointed the children out to me and asked if their parents are not afraid so soon after the Nurin case. They were little children between the ages of 6 to 10. Traffic was very sparse. A van could just pull over and cart those kids easily into the van and escape unnoticed.
Why are their parents so brainless as to allow this to carry on?

I am sorry but I have to say this about Malay parents. They allow their children out to collect duit raya. If you are in the kampung and almost everyone is either your relative or neighbour, it is not too bad but this should not apply to urban areas. These children go to houses of people they don't know, total strangers, and asked for money. Yes, they are children so who is to blame? They also take buses, go to distant housing estates just for this purpose.

Parents, don't tell me you do not know. They know everything and yet allow this to continue. Why? Why encourage this? If you don't, then put a stop to it. Some of them are even bold enough to pass remarks at people who don't give them money. Is this the way to bring up our children? I don't see the Chinese or the Indians doing this during their festivities. Why? I am so ashamed since I am a Malay myself. I know some Malays may not be pleased with what I have said but let me tell you there are also Malays who view this as an act of begging. I don't want to use that word myself since we are still in the spirit of Raya but I am very strongly against this.

Lets go back to the issue mentioned earlier. On my way back I saw another pair of children, definitely under 10 walking along a very lonely road. This is very very irresponsible of the parents. Must we wait for hundreds of Nurin cases to happen to finally realise that our irresponsible act contributes to Nurin cases. Look this could only happen if we create the perfect scenario for it to happen.

Lets be fair here. I have to admit that the number of children being allowed by their parents to go out asking people for Raya money has definitely gone down but I was hoping for zero since Nurin's case is still fresh in our minds or at least in my mind and heart.

Enough depressing things. As I mentioned earlier, this is the first year that I celebrate Raya as a blogger. I was informed by Doc Tokasid that Daphne Ling would not be baliking kampung so I extended her an invitation for my open house on the 3rd day of raya which was yesterday and being the good sport that she is, she accepted. She brought along a friend who also happens to be a blogger.

I don't really know much about her and never expected to meet someone so young. I was pleasantly surprised to meet someone so young and yet so sensitive to her surrounding and wise. It was indeed an honour. Her friend Ru V was equally pleasant. I include a caption of Daph and Ru V over some curry mee.

Luckily she came at about 1 coz by evening there was a full house with relatives and friends. All in all it was an eventful and tiring Raya.

I was too busy entertaining that I forgot to snap some good photos so I have only these to show.

Daphne and Ru V over curry mee, posing actually.

The parking lot, a source of so much frustration and headache is quite empty courtesy of Balik Kampung.

The children at the computer and the ladies telling updating themselves with the latest gossips in town.


cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Reading about the children and their hunt for duit raya, aye!, some of them can be quite unpleasant.

Here in KD, we had some kids dropping by quite like in our kampung house too. But they were moving in groups of 3 or 4 and were all boys. I guess, the girls are restricted by their parents now, which is good, and bad.

Good, because it is for their safety. Bad, because, due to the degradation of moral values, these kids will grow up fearing strangers all their lives. Maybe for a lady that's a ok, but I hope the boys who grow up, will be a kindly soul to strangers.

aN_archi said...

Hey Ajit, that curry looks good and we always remember the nice food you people cooked back in Kelantan. Pulut hitam, fish/chicken curry, rendang, ketam, roti jala etc etc. Looking back my wife is quite ashamed that she really tucked in at your place with your mother-in-law and late mother. I always remember the cencaru sumbat sambal and your curry isnt the Adabi variety but home made, home-dried, giling-at-the-kisar-shop real stuff. Always best the next morning for cecah roti with kopi-O panas. Here is to the good old days,old friends, old memories of stretch-marks and katil patah etc haha. Fax some over will you or must I wait till I get to Penang the next time ?

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Chegu Nazir,

Thanks for having me and Ruverny over. We had a great time and it was our honour to meet you. I usually refrain from commenting on your blog, despite reading it, cos, well, nothing intelligent to say! Hehe...

Regards to Mrs Nazir and everyone at home...Her food was great!

I will blog about this another day. Wireless memberontak again, so I can't upload the photos...=)

Kerp (Ph.D) said...


If what was written by you an offensive material from the malays, then be it. as you put it simply, they’re irresponsible. Period.

This may not go down so well on some people too but heck with it. most of the kids who roams around looking for duit raya I believe comes from a family where their parents are uneducated. And being that, they’re not well off, thus their kids are free to go ‘begging’. My apology too, for using such harsh word.

One commenter on nak tak nak even encountered these buncha kids collecting duit raya hoping to get themselves a freakin handphone. 10 yr olds using handphones? What the fuck for, man?

* Cikgu, Daphne was actually craving for rendang, I wonder if there were any at your open house yesterday…haha

Anonymous said...


Maybe these kids are just 'having fun'.

When I was a little boy, I have always lived in Klang Valley, with the City culture and lifestyle. Whenever we go back to my Atuk's kampung in Muo (its actually town area), I'd find it has a totally different culture and way of life. Of course, I'd do what the local boys do, like leaving the grounds freely (without a permission or notice to any adults, especially my parents!).

Whenever after the Aidil Fitri prayer and meal is concluded, Atuk's house is filled with too many relations, I would snuck out, follow my cousins of the neighbours' kids, a go from door-to-door, doing the "Assalamualaikum....." thingy. The usual response would be "Ini nak makan kuih ka atau duit saja?".

You'd probably guess the answer :) . I'd get ten or twenty cents per house (that was 30 years ago) and by the time I reached home after the full circuit, my Baju Melayu pockets would be laden with nickel coins, maybe RM 8-10, in total. My Abah would just raise his voice "Kau pergi mana mintak duit ni?".

My Auntie would just "Biorlah Mat, budka budak. Kau tu pun macam tu jugak dulu! Kau dah lupa????"

Abah used to go 'collecting' duit Raya door-to-door and when they day is done, he'd go for a movie in Muo town, treat himself for an ice kacang and to end it, take a few trips back and forth on the Muo river ferry from Muo jetty, across. And his father was a respectable religious department officer and community leader then.

Maybe, kids are just kids. They get 'cheap thrills' being able to 'earn money', just ONCE in a year and not frown upon. Yes, it can be construed as begging. But then again, giving money to kids had been a Malay tradition for many years during Aidil Fitri. And kids expect to get 'duit Raya' for this brief moment, within the usual mundane average year.

Yes, too many sickos around nowadays. And too many stories such as Nurin Jazlin's case. Maybe, it is important to 'teach the parents a lesson'. As Lee Kuan Yew said in his book, 'One cannot change peoples' attitude, but one can change peoples' behaviour". Hence the heavy penalty for parents who are negligence!

Unknown said...

cakapaje,kerp, biggum,
My post here is mainly aimed at parents. Kids are kids, if we allow them to out and ask for money they will. If we stop them, they would eventually stop. Some of them have become aggressive, passing unpleasant remarks at those who refuse to give or give only a measly sum. Its like they are demanding. Just yesterday a few boys came to my place and when my wife asked them where they were from they answered Sungai Nibong which is quite far away.
When we allow them to go 'asking' in our vicinity make sure that they stick to the area allowed or better still don't. When we talk of the Malay Subsidy mentality, we could also be talking about this kind of training that they get early in their lives. They should be taught to work for money, not demand or ask for money.
This of course is how I feel about the matter.
As for what biggum said about 'heavy penalty' for careless parents, I am all for it. Theirs is not only to mate and produce offspring but to raise them responsibly.

Unknown said...

Hey, come over to Penang man, at least for a short visit and I'll feast you.
I may, probably next year, go to Johore for my niece's engagement. If it materialises, I would be going there for the 1st time and my wife has already demanded that we pay you a visit.

Unknown said...

Why didn't you hint about rendang in your messages? I would have definitely got it for you. One day okay?
Thanx again for coming and my regards to Ru V.

Anonymous said...

Leaving kids alone is not a Malay problem cikgu, it is due to the parents carelessness and tidak apa attitude. As a parent myself, I tried and it is not easy to monitor my 2 kids all the time and folks back in kampung, they don't have 2 kids, they have like so many of them.

As for going house to house to collect 'duit raya', the young children should be taught that no one owes them a living. After all the little amount of duit raya collected will not compensate anything should any misfortune falls upon them.

aN_archi said...

Dude, you and the missus are welcome anytime to my humble pondok. We can shoot the breeze and catch up on old times then. I always plan to go to Penang so I can lay my hands on old second hand books and mags, visit my friend at the Art Centre, see old Jamal, bump around a bit, do sketches and generally make a nuisance of myself at your place.

cakapaje said...

Cikgu, I agree with you. By the way, I am quite worried about Doc tokasid. I read you or someone else that dia tak balik kampung. Yet, he has not been blogging as well, or approving comments - I left a comment with my phone number and email address. Anyway you can get in touch with him?

Daphne: reading your comment, makes me feel guilty. I pun tuleh pakai tuleh je. I guess when you're in the blogging community, its the keeeping in touch that counts more than not.

Ru-V said...

Hi Cikgu,

I'm so sorry I haven't been able to come say hi earlier.Have been loaded with work from college. I had a lot of fun that day and I'm glad Daphne brought me along. Thanks for having us.

And Mrs Nazir's curry mee was delicious!! Do send her my regards!
I had a great time meeting every one and I'm glad to have made your acquaintance.

Thanks once again!

tokasid said...

Salam che'gu:

1-Yes, this hunting for 'duit raya' thing should be a thing from the past. With current situation in the country, even kids going out with parents are not safe( that kid who got lost in Sogo and taken care by the Burmese couple), what more on their own. If parents are stupid enuf to think that things are like when they were kids...we wil most likely see more abduction cases.
The problem here is attitude. The tidak apa attitude. The " oh...itu kena anak orang and not mine" attitude.
Our ppl never learn. Or should I say we are a knee jerk nation! When bad things happened we reacted strongly but after 3 months, all is but forgotten and cases became cold(unsolved) cases.And we wait the next tragedy to strike us.
Just imagine a sex pervet or a paedophile will have a gala day with little girls roaming around the lanes in tamans and kampongs. Or little boys to be sodomised!! Na'uzubillahi min zalik.

I don't remember any menteri or poltician ever bringing up this subject at all.It'll be nice to know what or menteris have to say about banning kids roaming for duit raya.

2-Hope I didn't bother you with the suggestion. But glad Daphne and her friend enjoyed themselves.

3- You are a confirmed addict che'gu. You blogged during hari Raya. I wasn't able to blog but hey! I didn't have the addict's symptoms at all!

4-And thanks for calling me about Shah cakapaje's worry about me. The feeling is like I know you guys for ages! Thankx again.

Unknown said...

Ru V,
Studies come first.No problem at all. Have fun ok

Unknown said...

Do you think the Menteris would want the Malays to give up their 'asking' attitude? No way. They want the Malays to remain that way so that once in a while they can have a grand 'giving' ceremony so that they will look good in the eyes of the people. What the people does not realise is that they are giving with the people's money not theirs or their grandfathers'

Anonymous said...

I will leave aside the safety aspects to this duit raya "begging". But in these past few years, the phenomenon has certainly got ugly. In my housing estate, we have a gang of kids on bikes visiting malay homes. They don't even want to eat, they just want the duit raya. We put Rm1 in the packet...macam depa tak pandang pun. I can hear 1 or 2 muttering that house kedekut and so on.

How did we get this way?


zorro said...

MU would have bungkused Russia had they played. I hope to see you at Malam Bangsa Malaysia on 3 Nov. at Dewan Sri Penang, Room A, 4.30pm on.

Unknown said...

'How did we get this way'?
Exactly my sentiment here. Something ought to be done fast to remedy this.

muteaudio said...

No wonder lah only 2 budaks drop by for duit raya. The rest were loitering around Batu Uban. Next raya kalau panjang umur singgah at my place at Pantai jerejak.

Unknown said...

Thats a pleasant surprise. I'll remember that. Pantai Jerejak rupanya.


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