Sunday 27 September 2009

What Sponsorsip?

Wow! We are not only hosting F1 races, we are actually going to have our own cars participating in these races and if we learned fast enough, which I am sure we would, we could even do some crash stunts just to decide the outcome of some races.

Now, not bad eh, we could be the hired killers of the F1 races. If Renault is afraid that Ferrari would win they could always approach the 1Malaysia team and we could arrange for a certain Epol to drive one of our machines and at a crucial time he would apply the brakes and screams in ecstasy as the Ferrari driver rams into his butt.

Now with a strategy like that we really don't have to go looking for big sponsors do we? I mean if Epol's butt got a little bit too sore from the ramming we could always get the old pro AA.

No I am just kidding you, we do need some serious sponsorship coz the coitus interruptus of a PM said that the treasury aint gonna put in any money into this. No, they aint gonna sponsor this coz they have plenty of 1km long kampung roads to build at RM1 million a piece and Bagan Pinang needs to resurface that stretch of kampung road that they had just finished resurfacing yesterday.

Since participating in these races is going to cost a bomb and all the C4s were used up, where do we go looking for money without the people screaming? I mean, if you were to get Petronas to sponsor, the people aint gonna be too happy; If you get MAS to sponsor then where would MAS find the money to pay their staff? The same goes to all GLCs.

Not to worry, I heard Tony has got a whole line of sponsors ready and come race day, Epol and AA would gleefully grease up their arses for some much overdue whackings.

I heard they are going to pass a law that all vehicles badly battered up in road accidents, and thank god we have plenty of them, would be handed to the 1Malaysia team to build new machines. I am also told that Proton has promised to donate 20 percent of their stockpile of Milo tins to this cause.

Fung Keong has graciously agreed to donate their rubber scraps from their shoe factories to make tyres. Kayu Nasi Kandar has come in with a sponsorship deal to feed the crew all year round thanks to the cheap purchase of raw materials they got from a closed Nasi Kandar joint in Perth Australia.

Allagapa's would be paying quite a lot to have their name on the mufflers and Pulau Aman Belacan would be prominently carried on the driver's helmet.

At the time of typing this post, I heard 3 groups of Ah Longs are killing each other to get their names on the right door and the morgues in KL, Johore and Penang are filled to testify to this. The right door would carry a certain lawyers catch phrase "Corect, Correct Correct, The System Fixer" and I heard he got the space for a song. The song is Please Release Me by Engelbert Humperdick.

Well that's all for today folks, until I get further updates, don't do anything I wouldn't do.


monsterball said...

And Najib said...he wants Malaysia to be the window of Asia.
So many Asian counties are claiming tat too...and talking about tourism...and the are so sincere.
Singapore...Thailand..Australia .even Vietnam...have far more tourists visiting them...compared to Malaysia.
Under UMNO..they have shown to the world.....most decorated crooks in the world..cheat .rob or steal.and call all as commission..and best to kill a foreigner with C4.....blown to evidences.
What Najib meant was...Malaysia under UMNO is the best in Asia for robbers and thieves to visit...the wonderland for thieves and robbers in Asia.
Your post is describing one of the latest crooked idea. You see..getting rich without all the rich face la.

shoroi said...

Amidst the economy crisis when even Honda withdraw from the F1, Najib's Malaysia F1 project is greatly "welcomed"!

I predict that the F1 team will provide great entertainment to the sport. (hint: laughing stock)

Anonymous said...

ya,untuk negara, they will unzip their wallets and sponsor.
turn around, the same peopl will get billions of contracts from Najib and Co.
shit, its you and me taxpayers paying ultimately.
Rosmah, sounds familiar? what the heck, national service and F1 seems familiar. 1 Malaysia too?

Anonymous said...

GODRIDDEN ......... bodoh rupanya

romerz said...

I think all we need is good affordable cars FIRST. The showmanship can come later!

ali allah ditta said...

Tingkap kereta Proton aku tiap-tiap 6 bulan sekali kena minta porman repair,dah 12 tahun umur kereta aku. Tapi teknologi Proton masih ditahap itu juga.

Tiba-tiba Najib al-1Malaysia nak suruh Proton masuk F1 !! Wow...
masuk boleh, tapi berapa % akan dia dan big mama balun kali ni?

Tak cukup dengan Allagapa dan along2 disuruh jadi sponsor,dengaq cerita,Tabung Haji dan KWSP pun dipaksanya tumpang sekole......

Unknown said...

Don't we know them all?

Unknown said...

Thats because under 1Malaysia, the gov wants every Malaysian to own an F1 machine.

Unknown said...

Otherwise why would they even bother to sponsor. I give a dollar I get back a million and of course you get a million too.

Unknown said...

Yes, they give us the substandard proton.

Unknown said...

Aku dah tak larat dok repair power window and central locking aku. Depa memang anak haram jadah betoi.

Singam said...

I wonder whether the Malaysian F1 team will be rebranded as 1F in keeping with the current trend.

Anonymous said...

ali allah ditta

umoq proton hang dah 12 tahun. Kalau kereta lain, bukan saja tingkap, perkakas lain pun dah lingkup. Jangan gempag kelingla kat sini.

hang tunjuk aku kereta umoq 12 tahun ynag masih pristine, takdak barang rosak. lagi satu, kalau dah asyik dok repair, buang duit, bukan ka lebih baik hang ganti satu set tingkap kereta baru saja. ni asyik dok membebel saja, no concrete action. You deserve the defective car window, man.

sri hartamas/kg melayu

Pak Zawi said...

Just to be one up on Singapore just because the F1 in Spore is now over shadowing the F1 race in Malaysia.

Unknown said...

Yes, 1F really suits them

Unknown said...

Anon 17:49
Semua rakyat Malaysia tau yang kereta proton is shit.

Unknown said...

Pak Zawi,
Silap-silap depa nanti buat jambatan khas untuk F1 just to menunujuk-nunjuk


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