Wednesday, 9 January 2008
Tuesday, 8 January 2008
The Case of the Reappearing Fees.
Yes I know that I had mentioned in the comment section of my last post that I might be away for a short spell but I just can't lie down and do nothing can I? They say, an idle mind is the devil's workshop so if I were to be idle I may invite the devil to take me on a trip to a CCTVed hotel room. That would not be good because, first I don't have Angelina Yam or affectionately called Ah Yam waiting for me and most importantly I have not inked the royalty agreement yet.
Well, anyway, I was blog-hopping as usual and got over to Mat Salo's blog and in an instant I turned green with envy. He was doing a book review. He's a rigger and doing a book review and here I am an educator sleeping my butt away. No, I can't let that happen. How dare you Mat Salo doing a book review behind my back. "I have to do something", I said to myself. Did I sound like a writer there? If he can do a book review so can I.
I immediately googled 'new books' and one stood out like a giraffe doing an anaconda in a congregation of mormons. 'That's it, this is the book I am going to review and Mat Salo you can stuff your Soi Lek DVD up Samy's behind", I whispered with a vengence.
It took me a whole 12 and a half minutes to finish the book online and boy did I land myself a winner. You cannot get a better book than this. Its so contemporary as if you are reading some thing that is currently happening.
A few things struck me about the book. The sherlockholmish title and the fact that the book is rated 18SX. The title is The Case of the Reappearing Fees (tcotrf) and its written by a keris-wielding politician called Aaauw On. Its interesting to note that the 18SX rating is not due to the contents of the book or the presence of vulgar language. According to the publishers, NOAM Publishing House, no relative of Chomsky here, they had to rate it such because the author insisted on inserting his image in every page of the book. After viewing the image, I have to agree. You see the author has a mouth that stretches from one ear to another. It looks just like a vagina after delivering sextuplets. Its just too disgusting. The publisher wisely inserted a warning that they would not be held responsible for any case of diminished libido.
The 245 pager discusses a strange phenomena where a fee that was announced dead and buried suddenly makes a mysterious appearance which throws a whole country into confusion and chaos. Amidst the mayhem the main character of tcotrf surfaced from the floods of Johoho to add more confusion by saying, "you don't have to pay if you don't want to because it is not going to hurt us but we truly hope that you pay up or the whole system would short-circuit so please, please pay but I cannot do anything if you do not want to because the elections are so damn near but you wait next year, I am going to get you".
The book also gives deep insights about what actually happened during the planning stages of the 'no fees' announcement. The author says that he had a bad feeling that something is amiss when the announcement is not followed by a fireworks display in Parliament House. Apparently, the person entrusted to make the announcement and press the secret button in his pocket, fell asleep, which was not uncommon, but he could have chosen a better time to do it.
The author also divulged secret information on how the reappearance of the fees played a vital role in the resignation of an official charged with dispensing free condoms to addicts and free Viagra to his colleagues. According to the author, a certain Angelina Yam was approached by some rogues who promised her that they will help her pay the fees for her children if she agreed to treat the officer to some ice-cream and apom balik. She agreed because she had already spent the money meant to pay the fees on a lap top.
All I could say is that this book is a must read safe for the image inserted. You are advised not to read with a full stomach because the image of the author is known to induce vomit. For those who buys the book this January a free copy of a very popular DVD is included. According to the author all proceeds from the sale of the book would go to the Keris-Wieder's Association and Apom Balik & Ice-Cream Addicts Association.
Rating:*****
Well, anyway, I was blog-hopping as usual and got over to Mat Salo's blog and in an instant I turned green with envy. He was doing a book review. He's a rigger and doing a book review and here I am an educator sleeping my butt away. No, I can't let that happen. How dare you Mat Salo doing a book review behind my back. "I have to do something", I said to myself. Did I sound like a writer there? If he can do a book review so can I.
I immediately googled 'new books' and one stood out like a giraffe doing an anaconda in a congregation of mormons. 'That's it, this is the book I am going to review and Mat Salo you can stuff your Soi Lek DVD up Samy's behind", I whispered with a vengence.
It took me a whole 12 and a half minutes to finish the book online and boy did I land myself a winner. You cannot get a better book than this. Its so contemporary as if you are reading some thing that is currently happening.
A few things struck me about the book. The sherlockholmish title and the fact that the book is rated 18SX. The title is The Case of the Reappearing Fees (tcotrf) and its written by a keris-wielding politician called Aaauw On. Its interesting to note that the 18SX rating is not due to the contents of the book or the presence of vulgar language. According to the publishers, NOAM Publishing House, no relative of Chomsky here, they had to rate it such because the author insisted on inserting his image in every page of the book. After viewing the image, I have to agree. You see the author has a mouth that stretches from one ear to another. It looks just like a vagina after delivering sextuplets. Its just too disgusting. The publisher wisely inserted a warning that they would not be held responsible for any case of diminished libido.
The 245 pager discusses a strange phenomena where a fee that was announced dead and buried suddenly makes a mysterious appearance which throws a whole country into confusion and chaos. Amidst the mayhem the main character of tcotrf surfaced from the floods of Johoho to add more confusion by saying, "you don't have to pay if you don't want to because it is not going to hurt us but we truly hope that you pay up or the whole system would short-circuit so please, please pay but I cannot do anything if you do not want to because the elections are so damn near but you wait next year, I am going to get you".
The book also gives deep insights about what actually happened during the planning stages of the 'no fees' announcement. The author says that he had a bad feeling that something is amiss when the announcement is not followed by a fireworks display in Parliament House. Apparently, the person entrusted to make the announcement and press the secret button in his pocket, fell asleep, which was not uncommon, but he could have chosen a better time to do it.
The author also divulged secret information on how the reappearance of the fees played a vital role in the resignation of an official charged with dispensing free condoms to addicts and free Viagra to his colleagues. According to the author, a certain Angelina Yam was approached by some rogues who promised her that they will help her pay the fees for her children if she agreed to treat the officer to some ice-cream and apom balik. She agreed because she had already spent the money meant to pay the fees on a lap top.
All I could say is that this book is a must read safe for the image inserted. You are advised not to read with a full stomach because the image of the author is known to induce vomit. For those who buys the book this January a free copy of a very popular DVD is included. According to the author all proceeds from the sale of the book would go to the Keris-Wieder's Association and Apom Balik & Ice-Cream Addicts Association.
Rating:*****
Sunday, 6 January 2008
What The Leaders Have To Say
A reporter fielded this question, What is your comment on the Soi Lek case? and this are the answers that he got.
Pak Lah: He was only sleeping, he did nothing. We leaders need a lot of sleep you know.
Najib: Stupid, utterly stupid, he should have done it in Port Dickson.
Radzi: I admire him for being a gentleman and resign. I wonder when will Shahidan do it?
Ong KT: We have recruited some Ah Longs to help us investigate.
Samy: Cit, cit cit, I also did the same thing what, but the lights were off. After all was over, I on the lights and saw Indrani dressing up with a smile.
Keng Yaik: I spit on the people who invade other's privacy.
Muhyiddin: I hope this will not raise the price of chicken this Chinese New Year.
Tahim TC: There goes my supply of free Viagra.
Sharizat: I am sure he didn't mean to do it. Maybe he tripped and fell into her?
Augustine Paul: Irrelevant.
Khairy: My Mat Rempits are ready to investigate, we are waiting for the greenlight from the IGP.
Mahathir: Are you sure the one in the DVD isn't Anwar? He is immoral I tell you, he is immoral.
Zam: I am sure they borrowed the CCTVs from Al-Jazeera, bloody Arabs.
Lingam: korek, korek, korek
Pak Lah: He was only sleeping, he did nothing. We leaders need a lot of sleep you know.
Najib: Stupid, utterly stupid, he should have done it in Port Dickson.
Radzi: I admire him for being a gentleman and resign. I wonder when will Shahidan do it?
Ong KT: We have recruited some Ah Longs to help us investigate.
Samy: Cit, cit cit, I also did the same thing what, but the lights were off. After all was over, I on the lights and saw Indrani dressing up with a smile.
Keng Yaik: I spit on the people who invade other's privacy.
Muhyiddin: I hope this will not raise the price of chicken this Chinese New Year.
Tahim TC: There goes my supply of free Viagra.
Sharizat: I am sure he didn't mean to do it. Maybe he tripped and fell into her?
Augustine Paul: Irrelevant.
Khairy: My Mat Rempits are ready to investigate, we are waiting for the greenlight from the IGP.
Mahathir: Are you sure the one in the DVD isn't Anwar? He is immoral I tell you, he is immoral.
Zam: I am sure they borrowed the CCTVs from Al-Jazeera, bloody Arabs.
Lingam: korek, korek, korek
Saturday, 5 January 2008
No School Fees?
Pak Lah nearly scored a bullseye when in the last budget he announced that there will be "No School Fees." Almost all mainstream media were playing and rewinding the same song daily. If elections were to be held within a month, he would have scored a handsome victory just singing that particular tune alone.
Remember the last election and Pak Lah's promises on 'clean and efficient government'? Where is the clean government now? Where is the people friendly government now? And like the way he reneged on those promises, he has done it again this time around with his promise of "No School Fees".
When school repened recently, parents were confused when told that they will have to pay a 'yuran tambahan' instead. This yuran tambahan is actually more than the amount they paid the year before.
Lets get a clearer picture of the situation. In the previous years, school fees was RM4.50. In addition there were MSSM fees and Takaful insurance which were fixed amounts. Then schools were allowed to collect extra fees for sports, printing and library. It is these extra charges that make quite a lot of difference. Schools vary in the amounts they collect for sports, printing and library. Some collect less and the total amount is low while others collect more which pushed the total amount to quite high. In addition schools also collect fees for magazines. This again vary from place to place and according to quality.
What happens now is that the government has decided to do away with school fees that is no more RM4.50 per head. Realising that this will kill the schools, they come out with a mechanism where they calculate school needs. They mysteriously come to 3 figures based on needs of schools and parents affordability. They decide to categorise into 3. Category A RM30+, category B RM40+ and category C RM40+.
Schools will decide which category they want to be in base on the amount they need to operate and also considering the affordability factor.
In previous years, yes its true, that there were schools charging up to RM100 based on their needs but there were many schools sensitive enough to charge only about RM20+ to RM30+ based on the affordability of the parents.
What happens now? Schools that used to charge up to RM100 could only, at best, pick category C which is RM50+ while schools that used to charge RM20+ to RM30+ would most probably pick category A RM30+.
In previous years my school collected RM24.50 school fees and RM10.00 magazine fees for a total of RM34.50. This year we decide to go under category A RM30+ but students don't get any magazines for this. Do you see that by going under category A we are charging more? Do you also see that somehow the RM4.50 which was supposed to taken off is cunningly factored in? No school fees?
Why this stupidity? I call it damn downright stupid because now parents have to pay more when they were promised that they don't have to pay any. Lets take those big schools that used to charge RM70 to RM100, they would most probably be opting for the category C bracket which is lower than the amount they use to charge. The question is how many schools charged more than category C in the previous years. Where are these schools situated. What is the income group of the parents of students in these schools?
The answers are simple. Not many schools charged that high, they are mostly city schools and most of the parents are filthy rich. What about schools charging about RM20+ to RM30+? They now have to charge a minimum of category A which is more than or at least equivalent to what they used to charge. The question is how many schools charged these amounts, where are they situated and what income group do the parents come from?
The answers are are again simple. Many schools charged this amount, they are mostly suburban and kampung schools and their parents come from the lower income bracket. So who are the government actually helping here. Are they helping the rich parents who incidentally have very few children, or are they helping the poor parents, who for reasons only known to them have many children.
So the main question again 'Why this stupidity'?
Could it be that, those idiots who furnish the government with information about fees are those idiots who conduct surveys in their vicinity which is Putrajaya and KL and Shah Alam? They did not bother to really check with what is going on in other parts of the country? I believe that is the case. This means that the people in government has been severed with reality. They don't know the hardship that the poor are facing. They don't realise that pittance to them could be riches to the poor.
We may not hear too many complaints here because the MSM would be working overtime to filter dissenting voices especially with elections looming. Bloggers you say? Most bloggers could afford even category A or are already paying more than that so they don't really have much to complain do they? Maybe they are not aware being city dwellers and all.
Or could all these be another ploy by the government in generating dissent and then suddenly the PM comes to rescue and say all will have to pay only RM10 and that the extra amount paid would be refunded. I won't be surprised if this happened because flip-flopping seems to be the order of the day.
If there is no reversal, the situation is that the rich actually gets a discount in fees and the poor either pay more or pay the same amount. If they were to pay more or the same amount then where is the promise of No School Fees?
Remember the last election and Pak Lah's promises on 'clean and efficient government'? Where is the clean government now? Where is the people friendly government now? And like the way he reneged on those promises, he has done it again this time around with his promise of "No School Fees".
When school repened recently, parents were confused when told that they will have to pay a 'yuran tambahan' instead. This yuran tambahan is actually more than the amount they paid the year before.
Lets get a clearer picture of the situation. In the previous years, school fees was RM4.50. In addition there were MSSM fees and Takaful insurance which were fixed amounts. Then schools were allowed to collect extra fees for sports, printing and library. It is these extra charges that make quite a lot of difference. Schools vary in the amounts they collect for sports, printing and library. Some collect less and the total amount is low while others collect more which pushed the total amount to quite high. In addition schools also collect fees for magazines. This again vary from place to place and according to quality.
What happens now is that the government has decided to do away with school fees that is no more RM4.50 per head. Realising that this will kill the schools, they come out with a mechanism where they calculate school needs. They mysteriously come to 3 figures based on needs of schools and parents affordability. They decide to categorise into 3. Category A RM30+, category B RM40+ and category C RM40+.
Schools will decide which category they want to be in base on the amount they need to operate and also considering the affordability factor.
In previous years, yes its true, that there were schools charging up to RM100 based on their needs but there were many schools sensitive enough to charge only about RM20+ to RM30+ based on the affordability of the parents.
What happens now? Schools that used to charge up to RM100 could only, at best, pick category C which is RM50+ while schools that used to charge RM20+ to RM30+ would most probably pick category A RM30+.
In previous years my school collected RM24.50 school fees and RM10.00 magazine fees for a total of RM34.50. This year we decide to go under category A RM30+ but students don't get any magazines for this. Do you see that by going under category A we are charging more? Do you also see that somehow the RM4.50 which was supposed to taken off is cunningly factored in? No school fees?
Why this stupidity? I call it damn downright stupid because now parents have to pay more when they were promised that they don't have to pay any. Lets take those big schools that used to charge RM70 to RM100, they would most probably be opting for the category C bracket which is lower than the amount they use to charge. The question is how many schools charged more than category C in the previous years. Where are these schools situated. What is the income group of the parents of students in these schools?
The answers are simple. Not many schools charged that high, they are mostly city schools and most of the parents are filthy rich. What about schools charging about RM20+ to RM30+? They now have to charge a minimum of category A which is more than or at least equivalent to what they used to charge. The question is how many schools charged these amounts, where are they situated and what income group do the parents come from?
The answers are are again simple. Many schools charged this amount, they are mostly suburban and kampung schools and their parents come from the lower income bracket. So who are the government actually helping here. Are they helping the rich parents who incidentally have very few children, or are they helping the poor parents, who for reasons only known to them have many children.
So the main question again 'Why this stupidity'?
Could it be that, those idiots who furnish the government with information about fees are those idiots who conduct surveys in their vicinity which is Putrajaya and KL and Shah Alam? They did not bother to really check with what is going on in other parts of the country? I believe that is the case. This means that the people in government has been severed with reality. They don't know the hardship that the poor are facing. They don't realise that pittance to them could be riches to the poor.
We may not hear too many complaints here because the MSM would be working overtime to filter dissenting voices especially with elections looming. Bloggers you say? Most bloggers could afford even category A or are already paying more than that so they don't really have much to complain do they? Maybe they are not aware being city dwellers and all.
Or could all these be another ploy by the government in generating dissent and then suddenly the PM comes to rescue and say all will have to pay only RM10 and that the extra amount paid would be refunded. I won't be surprised if this happened because flip-flopping seems to be the order of the day.
If there is no reversal, the situation is that the rich actually gets a discount in fees and the poor either pay more or pay the same amount. If they were to pay more or the same amount then where is the promise of No School Fees?
Friday, 4 January 2008
Wednesday, 2 January 2008
Very Shiok One
Reporter: Many people say that it is you who is the minister implicated in the porno DVD
Minister: Yes, I am the one and wait a minute ah, where got porno one?
Reporter: Don't you think the content is pornographic?
Minister: Where got porno. Don't make it sound dirty la. We did not act one. We really do one. Shiok oh.
Reporter: So you think its okay for a person like you to do it. You are married with children.
Minister: If I did not do it where can get children? You tell me. Why your father bought you from TESCO ah?
Reporter: So you are implying its okay for a minister to be immoral?
Minister: What immoral. Everybody do one. What you think we all discuss every Wednesday, you think we all discuss about the country ah? Haiya, don't be silly la. We all discuss this la.
Reporter: Have you informed the PM about this.
Minister: He know long time ago la.
Reporter: What did he say?
Minister: He nice man, but he scold me la. He say no wonder the viagra all finish in gomen hospital. Wah, very funny la he.
Reporter: You said he did scold you, what did he say?
Minister: He say why don't go oversea do, why do here, here got many enemies, why stupid. And then he ask shiok or not. Ha, ha, gila one that fellow, sure shiok la.
Reporter: What has your wife and children got to say about this?
Minister: Want to say what some more, sudah jadi ma. They all angry la but must pretend okay one.
Reporter: So does this mean you will resign from the cabinet?
Minister: What you gila ah? Some more got so many hospital to make, what, want to give Samy eat all ah, haiyo, siau lang la lu.
Reporter: You are not going to resign?
Minister: Look young lady, everybody do like this one. If I have to resign then the whole cabinet must resign also, they all same one. Some even got children one, some steal other people wife also.
Reporter: All of them like this?
Minister: Got la one or two not like this. That one also because viagra cannot work one. If can you think he won't do ah? You young lady, you don't know anything. You got a lot to learn. I can teach you meh.
Reporter: Will you be standing for election then?
Minister: Sure la, why give other people stand?
Reporter: Won't this jeopardise your party's chances?
Minister: Haiya, where got jeopardise one, make 1 or 2 new school, build new roads, repair this repair that, sure win one. You think people care ah? Haiya, I got a room in another hotel, this one surely no CCTV one, come with me, I teach you a bit.
Reporter: Err, sorry Mr. Minister, I have to get back to the office.
Minister: Why you afraid ah? You got do before or not? You are missing something la, come la we go.
Minister: Yes, I am the one and wait a minute ah, where got porno one?
Reporter: Don't you think the content is pornographic?
Minister: Where got porno. Don't make it sound dirty la. We did not act one. We really do one. Shiok oh.
Reporter: So you think its okay for a person like you to do it. You are married with children.
Minister: If I did not do it where can get children? You tell me. Why your father bought you from TESCO ah?
Reporter: So you are implying its okay for a minister to be immoral?
Minister: What immoral. Everybody do one. What you think we all discuss every Wednesday, you think we all discuss about the country ah? Haiya, don't be silly la. We all discuss this la.
Reporter: Have you informed the PM about this.
Minister: He know long time ago la.
Reporter: What did he say?
Minister: He nice man, but he scold me la. He say no wonder the viagra all finish in gomen hospital. Wah, very funny la he.
Reporter: You said he did scold you, what did he say?
Minister: He say why don't go oversea do, why do here, here got many enemies, why stupid. And then he ask shiok or not. Ha, ha, gila one that fellow, sure shiok la.
Reporter: What has your wife and children got to say about this?
Minister: Want to say what some more, sudah jadi ma. They all angry la but must pretend okay one.
Reporter: So does this mean you will resign from the cabinet?
Minister: What you gila ah? Some more got so many hospital to make, what, want to give Samy eat all ah, haiyo, siau lang la lu.
Reporter: You are not going to resign?
Minister: Look young lady, everybody do like this one. If I have to resign then the whole cabinet must resign also, they all same one. Some even got children one, some steal other people wife also.
Reporter: All of them like this?
Minister: Got la one or two not like this. That one also because viagra cannot work one. If can you think he won't do ah? You young lady, you don't know anything. You got a lot to learn. I can teach you meh.
Reporter: Will you be standing for election then?
Minister: Sure la, why give other people stand?
Reporter: Won't this jeopardise your party's chances?
Minister: Haiya, where got jeopardise one, make 1 or 2 new school, build new roads, repair this repair that, sure win one. You think people care ah? Haiya, I got a room in another hotel, this one surely no CCTV one, come with me, I teach you a bit.
Reporter: Err, sorry Mr. Minister, I have to get back to the office.
Minister: Why you afraid ah? You got do before or not? You are missing something la, come la we go.
Tuesday, 1 January 2008
MCA MINISTER SEX SCANDAL
What a way to greet the new year. Since I don't buy mainstream newspapers, I of course am shut out from the local happenings, at least for a few days before I get them from the net.
Well, last night I received a call from a friend asking who is the MCA strongman involved in the DVD. "What DVD?" I asked him. "Haven't you heard, a DVD of an MCA minister is in circulation, it shows him doing the yo, yo with a bunny".
Boy am I slow in getting my news. No I am not about to rush to the nearest newspaper store. Anyway what you find in the papers would be pretty much watered-down and filled with question marks when they actually know who this horny dick is.
Anyway, Bakaq Penarik Beca has a nice post about this with links to other sites reporting on the same matter. If they allow this to hog the limelight then it means that they want to hide or downplay other important issues. If they don't, then I guess that it means that it is hurting them bad.
May I suggest something to Pak Lah. Get all your ministers to practice Yoga. A friend of mind, a divorcee, said that she does Yoga and takes a lot of ginger to kind of kill the spirit, if you know what I mean, otherwise cut the dicks off the ministers and use sow the slits of the female ministers. They should be taking care of the country, not their Alberts and Venuses or whatever.
Ah! Elections must surely be very near. First it was that Radzi and Shahidan fella, now a horny old man. I wonder when will the MIC start theirs?
Well, last night I received a call from a friend asking who is the MCA strongman involved in the DVD. "What DVD?" I asked him. "Haven't you heard, a DVD of an MCA minister is in circulation, it shows him doing the yo, yo with a bunny".
Boy am I slow in getting my news. No I am not about to rush to the nearest newspaper store. Anyway what you find in the papers would be pretty much watered-down and filled with question marks when they actually know who this horny dick is.
Anyway, Bakaq Penarik Beca has a nice post about this with links to other sites reporting on the same matter. If they allow this to hog the limelight then it means that they want to hide or downplay other important issues. If they don't, then I guess that it means that it is hurting them bad.
May I suggest something to Pak Lah. Get all your ministers to practice Yoga. A friend of mind, a divorcee, said that she does Yoga and takes a lot of ginger to kind of kill the spirit, if you know what I mean, otherwise cut the dicks off the ministers and use sow the slits of the female ministers. They should be taking care of the country, not their Alberts and Venuses or whatever.
Ah! Elections must surely be very near. First it was that Radzi and Shahidan fella, now a horny old man. I wonder when will the MIC start theirs?
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