Somebody is going to get a hurt.

This Motherland of mind simply fascinates me. There is nothing wrong with the land. The land is blessed by God with whatever we need but some people in this land is simply mind boggling.

Lets take the recent leaked report case. We could see smoke coming out from the nostrils of the coppers. They said that this is an attempt at sabotage. They can take action against the hospital and those involved in the leak.

Wow! Mr. Policeman why so fierce one. Take it easy man. Take a seat, have a cup of coffee and maybe a smoke. Now take a deep breath. Breathe in, breathe out. Yes, thats the way.

Are you feeling better now Mr. Policeman? Okay one more deep breath. Fill your lungs till you feel like its going to burst. If you burst it, it would be better. Now hold it, hold, hold, hold, hold and out.

Okay now that you are feeling better maybe you could answer a few questions. Don't tell me you are not used to answering questions?

I know you are mad because it is supposed to be an official document and now it is leaked, but why so angry?

Aren't you interested at all in the contents of the leaked report? I have not heard any single one of you say anything to show that you are interested in the contents.

All I hear is that, it is illegal, it is wrong and it is against the law to do this. Yes, the action maybe wrong but do have a look at the contents.

Who knows, maybe the person who leaked it, thought all of you have forgotten about this particular report and that he/she is trying to help you to remember something?

Who knows even God is fed up with all that is happening and He got someone to leak this out. Hey, you can't be going around getting angry at God you know. Its not going to be favourable to you in the afterlife if you know what I mean. Oh, one more thing, are you trully afraid of God?

Hmm, that figures.

Anyway, just curious. Wonder how Pak Lah would look like if UMNO and OAS merged and he becomes the Spiritual leader of PASUMNO? Got this from AlHusseyn.

Crawl.

I have not been updating regularly simply for one reason. I can't seem to be able to get into blogger. I find something strange has been going on. I could quite easily get into MalaysianInsider, MalaysiaToday and MalaysiaKini which were sites that used to give me headaches but not blogger.

I had to wait for countless minutes to get into my own blog or for that matter any blog under the blogger umbrella. Wordpress was not that tough. Hmm, I wonder why.

I would believe that its my PC thats causing this crawl but even my friends laptop found it difficult. Now this is puzzling. Anyone has any idea?

I am so uased to firefox but when firefox made me wait for a lifetime I tried Explorer and it got a little bit better but still its almost dial-up speed.

Then I remembered I once downloaded the Opera browser and tried it and it got a little bit better but with a download speed of between under 1Kb and 5Kb, its still slow. This is a rare occasion where I got to get in reasonably easily. I do not know how long it will take to publish. I guess I just got to try to find out.

If I had not left any comments on blogs that I usually don't miss, I hope this post explains it all. Maybe after this, I got to get this thing reformatted and if it still persists after that then I will prove my fears right. What is my fear? Somebody has been doing something to slow things up.

Well anyway, I just read somewhere that Singapore, our neighbour, the one that our Government said sells fuel at much higher cost than us has brought down the price by 10 cents a litre.

Thats interesting because I know of late the price of crude has been hovering under US129. If I am not wrong, the government said that, the price of our fuel now would follow the market price so its time for it to come down here too but still no announcements.

Well I am going to publish this and hope that it won't take me till the next election to see it up. Cheerio, have a nice day.

Please your honour, a little bit only, please, please.

Prosecutor: Your honour, we are unable to get fresh samples to ascertain the DNA of the accused so we are applying for the court to order the accused to provide us with samples of his blood, semen and pubic hair.

Judge: Why don't you just swab the inside of his mouth? Why do you need blood, semen and pubic hairs for?

Prosecutor: Er, er, I don't know about that, the IGP and the AG asked me to ask for it and they said that your honour would surely approve?

Judge: Oh, they said that did they? Who do they think I am? That Hacks judge? Why are they ordering you? Aren't they supposed to be disqualified from handling this case? Why do you need the DNA profile for? You still have samples from 1998 don't you?

Prosecutor: If your honour had read the papers, even the Prime Minister had asked the accused to provide the samples. He said that the old samples are spoilt.

Judge: Is the PM the IO? Is he the prosecuting officer. What powers does he has to demand for it? Is he a party to anything here?

Prosecutor: Why your honour, he is the Prime Minister.

Judge: So? Has he been sodomised too? And what do you mean the old samples are spoilt? Young man, do you know anything about DNA? Do you still have the old samples?

Prosecutor: We had some old samples but not enough. Some of it were taken to smear the victim's uhm, er, ..... I mean some of it got lost in transit while taken to the lab.

Judge: I like the first part better.

Prosecutor: What first part?

Judge: The smearing part?

Prosecutor: Oh, that part. I got my scripts wrong. The smear was supposed to be, they are trying to smear the name of the TPM.

Judge: And what have that got to do with the accused DNA?

Prosecutor: Nothing your honour.

Judge: So why is it in your script?

Prosecutor: I mean, it's not in my written script your honour, it is in my head for future use but somehow I got confused.

Judge: Hmm, interesting. What about the data base from the old case. I am sure you have them stored somewhere safely don't you?

Prosecutor: We did ask the police for the data 3 weeks ago but last week they informed us that a hacker had hacked into the police system and destroyed them.

Judge: Hmm, I have not read anything about it before. Do you have a police report about this new development?

Prosecutor: Yes Your Honour, here.

Judge: It was dated yesterday. The police only made the report yesterday?

Prosecutor: Huh! What? Let me see it. Er, er, ...... it could be a typo your honour.

Judge: Aren't dates supposed to be very important in any reports?

Prosecutor: Yes Your Honour, they are.

Judge: Then why the mistakes? What are you trying to do? Do you really have a case against the accused?

Prosecutor: Your Honour, I am not feeling very well, could your give me an adjournment, please?

Judge: You want to continue in the afternoon?

Prosecutor: No, an indefinte adjournment please. I think I am going to be sick for a very long time.

Judge: Yes, I do think so myself. One month to settle all this mess and come back prepared.

Prosecutor: Oh, Your Honour, what about the samples?

Judge: Nope, prove why I must order for it to be given.

Prosecutor: Please your honour, a little bit only, please, please.

All Perdana owners are bloody rich people.

Oh, oh, somebody is going to get into hot soup and I bet it is not going to be somebody very big.

Read this which I got here.

To those who are too lazy to go there below is the juicy part that I think could open up your eyes a bit, not that it is not already open but the sheer absurdity surely would.

Dalam satu senarai kos senggaraan yang dikeluarkan petang ini,
kereta Perdana V6 Executive yang pernah digunakan oleh bekas Menteri
Besar Terengganu, Datuk Seri Idris Jusoh mencatatkan kos tertinggi
senggaraan.

Dalam tempoh empat tahun antara 2004 dan 2008, kereta Idris disenggarakan dengan kos RM235,123.08.

Sementara itu, di Putrajaya, seorang lagi pegawai kanan BPR
menyifatkan ‘ada sesuatu yang tidak kena’ dengan kos penyenggaraan
kereta Proton Perdana V6 Executive kerajaan Terengganu itu.

How do you feel? Well I went dizzy for a while when I saw those figures. Considering those figures were quoted by BPR officers, it means that they are into it.

Now lets look into this objectively. Of course that Idris fellow is going to say, he just sent his car for maintenance and do not actually know how much is being charged. he would then say, maybe the Financial Controller would be able to help.

The Financial Controller would say that he signs hundreds of cheques a day and that all cheques sent to him have been vetted by officers from his departments against invoices sent to them and were found to be done according to procedures. He would say it is not the job of his officers to query to the amount. As long as all paper work is properly done, they would approve it.

The Financial Controller would then ask the BPR boys to see the Pegawai in charge of repairs and maintenance who probably is on leave for about a month. After the month's leave is over the Pegawai would come out with a story saying that, he only authorises repairs. He is not involved in setting up the price. He would go on to say that that kind of pricing is standard ever since he started working and so seeing that amount did not surprise him so he signed it.

The Pegawai would then ask the BPR to see the workshop concerned. Upon arrival at the workshop the BPR would learn that it has been closed and that the owner is now selling belacan in Zimbabwe.

The BPR would then go back to their boss and the conversation may might sound something like this,

Boss: What, you can't get an indictment? I have been reported in the papers and and tv that we would get to the bottom of this. If I were to say that we could not gather enough evidence, what do you think the people are going to say?

BPR: But really boss, the workshop is closed.

Boss: Do you know who it belongs too, doesn't matter if he is in Timbuktu or Lagos.

BPR: Yes, we have investigated and it belonged to an UMNO Bahagian bigshot's sister-in-law. Actually we think we know where she is hiding. Do you want us to get her?

Boss: Are crazy? Do you want me to lose my job? Now lets see, we can't get the MB or former MB, the PM would do a Saiful on me if we were to do it.

BPR: We can always frame the controller sir.

Boss: That is why you are only an officer and I am your boss. You talk through your arse. The controller knows too many shady deals involving many other bigshots. If we get him he would spill the beans and I would surely be transferred to the fisheries department in charge of buying ice blocks.

BPR: Then the Pegawai in charge of repairs?

Boss: He too knows too much. Talk to the driver. Tell him that we would charge him. I'll talk to the prosecutors to present a weak case and he would be acquitted. He would be suspended but his welfare be taken care of for life.

God have mercy on us

Kuala Lumpur, July 23 - The government is on the verge of forming a
council of economic advisors to help it come up with strategies to face
the triple threat of a slowing global economy, rising fuel prices and
inflation.

This move is a sure sign Malaysians are in for tougher
economic times and also acknowledges that the Cabinet and senior
government officials do not have all the answers to cushion the effects
of the expected global recession.

The last time the government
sought the expertise of the private sector and foreigners was in 1997
when the National Economic Action Council was set up to tackle effects
of the Asian Financial Crisis.

The above is taken from Malaysian Insider. No I am not going to talk about the Malaysian Insider because I have my suspicions about the leanings of those people there but what is written is certainly quite frightening.

This is an admission that things are not rosy and that help is needed and needed yesterday.

Of course the Cabinet and senior officials do not have the answers because this time around things are real bad and couple with the fact that we have numbskulls running the country.

What is it that makes things so bad this time around? Okay the uncertainty of the political scenario is one. What contributes to the uncertainty then? Don't blame it all on the oppositions threat to take over the government and the Anwar cases and also the C4 connection. These are part of the problem.

The main problem is that no bloody minister has been working since about a month before elections. Ever since the elections no clear cut policy is introduce to face the troubled times ahead. Only certain patch work here and there are implemented because the ministers are plainly too busy politicking.

All UMNO ministers are simply too busy vying for a post in the Supreme Council. All money that they hoarded during the last elections are now out to ensure that they get to continue filling their present seats in the Supreme Council.

Those without a seat are working double hard to get one. To do this they have to go down to the branches to ensure that they get enough people to support their division candidates. Lots of money there considering each division consists of a few hundred branches.

Then they must ensure that the division meetings elect only those friendly to them as Perwakilans and this time the amount is bigger. There are about 200 divisions spread all over the country so how do one expect them to be in the office to work?

There are certain things that these economic advisors, that they intend to enlist, know would work but would rather not suggest because they know the government would not adopt these suggestions. These are suggestions on cutting back on non critical and non strategic expensive projects and also to plug leaks which certainly are aplenty.

These projects and leaks are the only way for those people up there to get the dough to recoup the investment they made to get themselves into the Supreme Council in the first place. Of course they would be the odd tens of millions if not hundreds of millions extra to make it worth the effort.

Another suggestion would be the doing away of APs to make it possible for anyone to import anything to make business more competitive. When there is fair competition, the consumers always gain but then again these would mean that present AP holders, who know nothing about business, would face the unfamiliar prospect of competition, something that they do not have the acumen for. After all they have been thriving all this while because of the monopoly they enjoy from the strict control of APs.

Only those connected high up or those willing to spend absurd amount for a cup of coffee would get those APs and enjoy the monopoly that comes with the them. With monopoly, pricing is definitely based on whims rather than on competitiveness and efficiency.

Of course there would be some other strategies that would help both in the long run and short run but then I am not an economist. I write on only what I feel as a layman they should do. The bottom line is that they must be honest.

Would they for once in their greedy life think about the nation and the people? If they are willing to do this then free the advisors to suggest anything logical. Oh by the way, get experts to act as advisors, not politicians please. Otherwise God have mercy on us.

Ya ALLAH, please shower your blessings on her.

A friend, a fellow blogger is now fighting the battle of her life. Yesterday, her birthday, she learnt from the doctors that there indeed is a relapse of her breast cancer only this time it has spread to her liver, ribs, collarbones and cheekbone.

Doc, alerted me yesterday morning that it was her birthday and so I sent her a birthday message. A few hours later I was greeted with the dreaded reply that she is again fighting for her life.

I can't bring myself to write more about her but I dare say, she is one gritty lady. If you do not know who she is please go here and read and you will know what kind of a lady she is.

Most importantly I would like to invite the readers of my blog to offer prayers of a speedy recovery for her. Please, I beg you.

Hey Proton, the Terengganu MB says you suck.

Below is The Terengganu MB's explanation as to why they need to buy Mercs rather than Perdanas as reported here

“Please understand that the Proton Perdanas go through continuous
long-distance journeys. It’s costing us a lot of money due to high cost
of maintenance.

“We are not saying that the national car is not
good but in reality we are coughing up more money for maintaining the
Proton Perdanas, particularly the gear boxes,” he said.

Ahmad
cited the example of the Proton Perdana of state Commerce, Industry and
Environment committee chairman Toh Chin Yaw, which has twice undergone
expensive repairs costing RM50,000 within 36 months.

“In the long run, Mercedes cars are cheaper to maintain and could also save us fuel costs.

There is a Malay saying "Menegak benang yang basah" or loosely translated to erect wet thread. No, no viagra could do it just as no amount of stupid arguments by the Terengganu MB could persuade the people to buy his story.

50K in 36 months? I know of many people who drive Perdana V6s and they travel alot and none of them have to spend 50K or even half that amount since buying them years ago so why is it that that Terengganu Exco's Perdana had to undergo such repairs? Has he been stealing logs in the Terengganu jungles and using his Perdana to haul them out of the jungle?

Many other states are also using Perdanas but we sure haven't heard maintenance being a problem there? Instead of buying Mercs, perhaps the MB should have a look at his workshop people. Are they fleecing the people with exhorbitant repair charges? Are the officers in the Terengganu government working with these workshops to bleed the state?

Maybe, the Terengganu MB wanted to say that Proton should have a look at their Perdanas especially the gearbox. If that is what he had wanted, he doesn't have to change state cars to Mercs. All he has to do is to make a press statement and the message would get across clearly enough. He does not have to spend 3 million plus just to get a message across.

If he were to mean that Perdanas are lousy, thats what he has just said, no matter how hard he had tried and will try to deny it, he could always have a look at Accords, or Camrys. Now don't tell me they cost as much. Minus whatever taxes, these cars would surely cost less than Mercs. Their maintenance cost is definitely lower than their continental counterpart.

The idiot went on to say that it is not money from oil royalty that was spent because they had not received a single sen yet. If you had not received a single sen yet it means that you are still poor and poor people should not be spending money like that, not in difficult times like this, you idiot.

Anyway whether it is old money or new royalty money it is still money and that amount could be put to better use. Everybody knows that Terengganu is one of the poorest states in the country, so spending that amount just to cool the arses of elected representatives is a very irresponsible thing to do so don't 'tegak benang yang basah'.

Next time tell a better story. Try this one. The air in Terengganu is just not compatible with Perdanas. Whenever the excos get into their Perdanas, their piles will bleed causing the government to spend millions on diapers.

Let me add a little bit more. I am sure many of the excos if not all are already filthy rich and many of them own Mercs already or if they do not have any they are surely able to buy one easily so if they really have to travel in Mercs,then use their own not buy them one with the people's money.

Save, Save, Save

Learnt this at Rocky's again. The Terengganu Excos will not be doing a Malaysia Boleh as regards to the cars they will be driving. What? What is Terengganu? Terengganu is a state in Malaysia. Yes, you got that right, the oil producing, one of the poorest states in Malaysia.

Sorry for the intteruption. Anyway, they will not be handing out Perdanas to their Excos. Er, sorry that guy is asking for clarifications again. Yes, Perdana. Its a Malaysian car. Proton's top of the line model. Could you hold it until I am done explaining? You could? Thanks, you are so kind and please wipe that froth at the corners of your mouth.

You see, obviously the reinstatement of the royalty for the crude pumped out off Terengganu waters has somehow wetted the appetite of the New Menteri Besar for a change cars. When you are rich, you must look rich, that is the new motto of the Terengganu government.

Hey, its not the rakyat who went around making empty promises; It is not the rakyat who had sleepless nights campaigning, It is not the rakyat who were planning and scheming and back stabbing and conniving so why should the government think of them. Sheesh, the nerve of the rakyat to demand equal treatment.

Anyway, if you were to ask the MB why is it that he chose to give out Mercs E-200 Kompressors instead of Perdanas, I am sure he will have a very UMNO answer for it.

The Reward

PM: So what do you think ..... shh, shhh, he is coming.

Najib: Here comes our hero, come in, come in we were just talking about how brilliant you were that night.

Shab: You all thought so? I knew I was good but how come many said that I was slaughtered? They must be idiots.

PM: Yes, la, they all idiots la. You were superb la Shab. I really take my hats off to you la.

Najib: Brilliant la, the way you decimate him, the way you tore him to pieces leaves him foaming, uh, uh, gasping for air la.

Shab: I told you I am going to slaughter him what. Now he knows who Shabery is. Now people will look at me with respect. I think I am fighting for one of the top places la this December.

PM: Hey don't fight for the Presidency la Shab.

Najib: Ya, don't challenge me also la, you will surely slaughter us.

Shab: No, I won't go for the top two la, maybe one of those lower la. Er excuse me please, I have to go to the man's room for a while.

Najib: Why you want to wipe the foam, uh, uh the smudge on your shirt ka?

Shab: What smudge? Is there a smudge? This is a 5 thousand dollar suit la, I hope there is no smudge. I'll be back in a while.

PM: Okay, take your time............ Ala, Najib, why your mouth so teruk one? Why you keep on mentioning foam?

Najib: No la, Pak Lah, I can't forget the foam la, everytime I see him I just see foam la hahahahahaha. Funny la that clown.

PM: Hahahahahaha, ya la, I really cannot tahan la when I see him, hehehehe, foaming like a man with a heart attack, hahahahahahaha.

Najib: Hehehehehehe, er, erm, so when do we tell him? Hehehehehehe, I cannot tahan la. hehehehehehehe, ayo, my stomach is getting the cramps la.

PM: Hahahahahaha, stop it la Najib, I think I want to pee in my pants la, hehehehehe ayo, ayo, I haven't laughed like this since the day Mahathir retired.

Shab: Why, what's so funny? Why are you people laughing so loud?

Najib: No, we were laughing at Anwar, hehehe we were saying how you made him look stupid.

Shab: So boss, don't you think I deserve a promotion for my scintilating performance?

PM: Er, we were just talking about it before you came in. Najib told me that we should reward you and I whole-heartedly agreed with him.

Najib: Yes, Shab, since you have proven that you could take up a job and do a remarkable work, we were thinking that you are the only person who is capable enough to perform this new assignment. There is no one else better, honest I tell, there is no one else better, don't you think so PM?

PM: Where got any other person who could do it. I thank god for delivering you to us la Shab. If you had been in the opposition I think we would have lost all states la.

Shab: I have no words to say, you are too kind with your praises sirs. I am willing and ready to take any new assignments that you think I am capable of handling.

Najib: Like this Shabery, you know as well as I do that Anwar is a spy for the US. We need someone to work in our Embassy in the US and identify the US mole in our Embassy there and to find out who receives all the information Anwar is sending.

PM: This is obviously very dangerous and only a capable person could do it. Do you think you are up to this task?

Shab: You mean I will not be a minister anymore? I will have to move to the US? Hmm, not exactly what I had in mind.

PM: Don't worry, we will give you the status of a minister and you could go on enjoying all your perks. Please the country needs you.

Najib: Yes, you will be the new Ambassador there but actually you are something ,like James Bond la. We will equip you with all the gadgets you need. Please, for the country, we are begging you.

Shab: For the country? Done, I'll do it. When do I go?

PM: This afternoon, everything is ready to move.

Shab: Thank you sir for having faith in me. I'll discharge my duties to the best of my ability and better.

PM: That's my boy. I know I can depend on you, now go on, you got some packing to do and I'll send you there in my Executive jet.

Shab: Thank you, I'll report everything direct to you. Farewell.

PM: Hahahahahahaha, hehehehehehehe ah, ah, I can't stand it, I can't stand, you terror la Najib, What you said? Like James Bond? Hehehehehehe and he believed you.

Najib: Please la Pak Lah, my stomach is exploding already la, hehehehehehe, ayo, ayo hehehehehe why is he so stupid one.

PM: There goes Mr. Foam, hehehehehehe, I forgot to tell him to always carry a hand towel, hahahahahahahaha, hehehehehehe,aduh, aduh, my back hurts la.

Najib: hahahahahahahahaha Mr. Lux.

PM: Mr. Lux?

Najib: Yes la, Lux soap and foam, hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe.

State of Affair

Auditor: Good morning, I am from the audit department.

Sec: Oh good morning sir. How may I help you sir.

Auditor: Could you please call the office manager for me?

Sec: I am afraid that would not be possible sir, he is not in yet.

Auditor: Not in? Its already 10.30 and he is not in yet? Is he always like this?

Sec: I am afraid so sir. Since he started working in March, he has been to the office only about twice only.

Auditor: So who has been doing his job? His assistant manager?

Sec: No sir, the chief clerk sir. The assistant manager also seldom comes in.

Auditor: Could you please call me the Security Manager then?

Sec: I am afraid its the same with that department sir.

Auditor: You mean the CC is doing the work there too?

Sec: Its the same for the Development Department, Education Department, Agriculture Department, Communication Department and all other departments sir.

Auditor: Could you give me the number of your Information Manager then. I have something important to talk to him.

Sec: I am afraid it won't do you any good sir. He has terminated his number and is now in the Pantai Hospital.

Auditor: Warded? I hope its nothing serious.

Sec: I don't know sir but he has gone in for defoaming. After coming home late on the 15th, he couldn't stop the foam from accumulating in the sides of his mouth. Some said its God's punishment for having a bad mouth and a bad heart.

Auditor: On the 15th? What was he doing that night?

Sec: I heard he was beaten up real bad in a debate match. He has been delirious ever since. He was often heard shouting "I am the greatest economist". Its quite bad sir. I heard they say he was complaining that the microphones changed his words, he wanted to say something else but the microphones kept playing tricks on him.

Auditor: Is any manager working here?

Sec: I am afraid not sir.

Auditor: Get me the General Manager then. This is outrageous.

Sec: I am afraid he is not in too sir. He only comes in once or twice a day for his siesta and we are not to disturb him. I think he is in the North today to campaign sir.

Auditor: In the North? Campaign? Campaign for what?

Sec: The Staff Club presidency sir.

Auditor: Don't tell me the Assistant General Manager is also not in and he is also campaigning.

Sec: I am afraid so sir, but you could meet his wife if you want. She runs his department whenever he is out.

Auditor: Call her then.

Sec: One moment sir. I am afraid, she is busy right now. She is in a meeting with some designers from Paris, London and New York. Jimmy Choo is also in the meeting. I heard it is preparations for her arrival in New York for her annual shopping do.

Auditor: I don't believe this, this can't be happening. Call all the CCs to the meeting room now.

Sec: I am afraid they are out entertaining the suppliers sir.

Auditor: Entertaining or being entertained?

Fare thee well my friend

A month or so back I wrote about a teacher and dear friend who was diagnosed with stage 4 colon and liver cancer. I described how dear a friend he was to me and how the news shook me to the bones. For those who missed it, you can find it here

His conditions never took for the better. After 10 courses of radiotherapy, the doctors at the GH said they have done all they could and that he could be discharged. He never got discharged because he started to vomit blood.

Almost everyday was filled with us, somehow or other, talking about his condition. He was the Chairman of the Permuafakatan Islam and I the vice chairman. Last week, in his absence, I chaired a meeting of the Permuafakatan Islam and amongst other things, tomorrow the 17th of July, after our prize giving day, all Muslim teachers are to adjourn to the surau just next to the school for Sembahyang Hajat and Yassin.

Today, in between rehearsals for the prize giving day, preparations were made for the Sembahyang Hajat. We had secured permission from the surau committee to use the surau. At about 4.30, a teacher came in and said that he had received a phone call from the Penolong Kanan informing us that that friend, Rosli, is in very bad shape and that the Penolong Kanan had given permission for any teacher who wished to visit him to do so.

A group of teachers went in three cars. A few teachers and I had to remain because someone had to see to the students in the midst of all the preparations. At about 5.50, I felt that I should say something and below are the sms exchanges between me and another teacher.

Me.
Maaf saya nak minta tolong sikit. Saya tak sanggup pi tengok Ckg Rosli. Boleh tak sampaikan salam saya? Saya nak kata kat dia saya nak minta ampun dan maaf atas segala kesalahan saya kat dia dan minta dia halalkan apa saja yang termakan dan terminum. Ini pun kalau ckg sanggup la. Kalau ckg sendiri pun tak sanggup tak apa. (time 5.56pm)

Teacher.
Saya faham, Insyaallah. Tapi depa kata dia koma. (5.59pm)

Me.
Takapalah, kalau ada rezeki tolong sampaikan kalau tak ada, nak buat macam mana? Terima kasih. (6.00pm)

Teacher.
Ckg Rosli dah tak ada.. (6.17pm)

My heart sank. I called the teacher on the phone to confirm and from her voice I knew she was crying. I couldn't hold my own tears back but there were students around so I had to control myself but still my cheeks were wet.

I broke the news to a few teachers and soon there was a flurry of phone calls. I walked to the rest room to be alone and I could hear a group of form 2 girls who had just heard the news crying. I entered the room and had a good cry because I couldn't control it anymore.

Things have changed permanently. A perfect gentlemen had left this world and knowing him, I know he is heading for a better place.

Good Bye Rosli, I will miss you.

Shabery, when are you going to resign?

Shameful, that is all I can say about the character called Shabery Cheek. He had the chance to show the country and maybe the world that he has stature, he is a professional and he is knowledgeable. He blew it all up by the very unprofessional act of attacking Anwar rather then debating.

He is a real kid when it comes to debates. Is that the best BN and UMNO can send, I mean that man is pathetic.

At one time I thought he had just got a heart attack because he was foaming, how disgusting. Considering, I am very sure about it, he is privy to the questions that that Johan fellow is going to ask, his answers are so weak.

That idiot keeps mentioning Venezuela. He did not stop to think that inflation in our country would have been lower if the price of fuel is lower.

All that I know is that, he said he would resign if he does badly and boy his performance was the pits.Not even that idiot Kardi the counselor could make him look good. I mean how could he because he does not know the difference between a statement and a question.

So Shabery should we announce your resignation? Just tell us when and we would be more than happy. Shit, you are so shameful.

Viagra or Watermelon for the ACA

Well, finally it seems that the ACA is not dependent on the AG anymore. They now have powers to prosecute without having to get the AG's go ahead. If this is true, than I am all for it and Dollah, that is a step in the right direction.

Of course there will be a few questions here and a few questions there because since the ACA which has been so impotent in the past suddenly has its virility restored, does it know what it is to be independent?

Another question is, is the ACA trully independent or is it just an arm of the Prime Minister's Department where the true master is the Prime Minister.

Okay, let us say that it is quite independent and that the PM is serious about tackling this menace which is rightly so.

Would the swoop on the immigration department be followed with swoops on other departments, namely the Police, the Customs and the whole government machinery.

Another question would also be, would the swoops be limited to Department personnels up to the Directors only or would it go higher?

I have yet to see a minister or deputy minister questioned. I have yet to see politicians from the ruling party being hauled up. I have yet to see ADUNs, division heads, secretaries and spouses and kins of powerful politicians being called for questionings.

So far it has been civil servants only. Are civil servants the only corrupt people or are they the small fish?

Any bloody bastard who dares say that our ministers, deputy ministers, ADUNs and politicians are squecky clean does not deserve to live.

Perhaps the ACA could visit EZAM and ask him for his boxes and thousands of pages of dossiers to help them start, or did EZAM accidentally sell those thousands of pages to the surat khabar lama Ah Pek?

If the ACA is trully independent with the powers that they claim they have, they can start from the top, not the bottom. Start with our ministers. Need I tell them how to start?

Okay, see their houses, their cars, their children's houses and cars, their wives' houses and cars. See how they furnish their bungalows. Check their passports and see where they go for holidays and in what hotels they stay. Just check their lifestyle la and I bet you Kajang and Sungai Buloh would be filled to the brim.

The Investigation

ACA: Did you or did you not do what Anwar said you did regarding his beating.

IGP: Nope, I did not.

ACA: That's good enough with me. You look innocent enough. You are innocent. Er, Mr. AG, did you do what Anwar ...

AG: I certainly did not.

ACA: I am convinced by your sincerity. I could feel it in your voice. Done, both of you are not guilty. No charges.

Press Statement

After weeks of exhaustive interrogation and days of energy and personnel sapping investigation, which sent the ACA to 175 countries and the interview of more than 1200 people, the Director General of The ACA has found both the IGP and AG to be innocent of the charges brought against them by Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim. The Director would also like to add that Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim would be charged for making a false report.

It hurts like hell.

Sorry Rocky, I 'borrowed this without your permission but please allow me to use this because the last time I cried my heart out was when my brother passed away last year. This makes me cry just as hard. I hurt just as bad. Damn those people, damn them.

I got this from rocky's. I know most of you read Rocky's and must have read this already but man am I fucking pissed.

Dear YB Syed Hamid Albar
Home Minister

Re: Aina Mardiah Shahrial, 17

You may not know Aina,
she is the eldest daughter of Shahrial Sirin, an ISA detainee. On the
afternoon of July 2, about 3 pm, she was admitted into Kajang Hospital.
The girl was fighting for her life. The family immediately informed
authorities at Kamunting, where her father had been detained for the
last 7 years.

Somehow,
Shahrial was only told of her daughter's illness at 10.30 am the next
day, July 3. Aina's mother made a personal appeal to the authorities at
Kamunting to let her daughter be with the dad for the last time. The
doctors said Aina had only a few hours of life left, God-willing.

The
authorities at Kamunting said they could not release Shahrial. They had
to get your signature on the release papers. Yes, YB, your precious
signature.

Aina's father was finally released at 5pm. It was the longest four-hour journey to Kuala Lumpur.

Shahrial got to her daughter's side at 9.45 pm. He was too late. Aina had passed away at 6.20pm without seeing her father.

Thank you, YB, and may Allah bless you and your family.

pic: A father's belated good-bye


Norlaila Othman, a wife of an ISA detainee herself (read here),
told me that the Abolish ISA Movement will be writing to Syed Hamid so
that the Minister knows about the father and daughter. And that besides
love, sometimes all we need is a bit of common sense.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Dep. Queen: Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all.

Mirror: Oh, god here she comes again. Of all the mirrors why must I be stuck with this witch?

Dep. Queen: Mirror. I know you are awake. You know what happens to mirrors if they were to suddenly fall a few floors down, don't you?

Mirror: Oh my fair queen, forgive me, er, I was stunned by your radiant beauty that I did not hear what you were saying. Please do forgive me.

Dep. Queen. Cut the sweet talk and tell me what I want to know.

Mirror: Er, hmm, it will be sunny till late afternoon but cloudy in the evening. At night there will be a thunderstorm. Minimum temperature is ....

Dep. Queen: You are doing it again. You are avoiding me again. The last time you did that was when the dep. king was having an affair with that court interpreter from a foreign land.

Mirror: How could I forget, that foreign beauty whom you turned to dog-meat. What a waste.

Dep. Queen: Thats what happens to anyone who wants to take my dep. king away from me.

Mirror: But you didn't do anything to that singer?

Dep. Queen: I wasn't dep queen then and she was just too high profile. Is he having another affair?

Mirror: I heard he has been seeing a young boy lately. They have been meeting at his office and even here in your residence.

Dep. Queen: Oh, that boy? Never mind him. Are you sure, there is no one else?

Mirror: Would a hungry crocodile rescue a drowning gnu?

Dep. Queen: Stop talking in riddles. Is there somebody else?

Mirror: As it is right now, I simply do not know. Too many of the dep king's knights are following him. They create a lot of distractions.

Dep. Queen: You better be right if you know what is good for you. Alright one more question. I am fed-up playing second fiddle to that ex-maid. When will I be queen?

Mirror: Didn't you read the papers? In about 2 years, I think?

Dep. Queen: If I were to believe that, why do I keep you? Look deep and tell me, when will I be queen?

Mirror: The question is not when, but would you ever be queen?

Dep Queen: WHAT? Are you doubting that I would be queen?

Mirror: Look, I am only saying what I see. I am not programmed to make up stories.

Dep. Queen: You mean I would not be queen?

Mirror: I am afraid so.

Dep Queen: Why, how come, what happens?

Mirror: The dep King's life is in grave danger. If you are still with him, you would end up like him, blown to smitherins.

Mirror: Yes, I could see here that he would die a violent death with his wife.

Dep. Queen: Oh, god. No, I don't want to die. I am too young and too beautiful to die. Wait a minute, you say he will be blown with his wife. If I get a divorce, and he remarries then it wouldn't be me right?

Mirror: Exactly and I suggest you do it fast because the picture I see is quite clear meaning it would happen quite soon, maybe in a year or so.

Dep. Queen: Oh, thank you magic mirror for saving my life. I would ask him for a divorce the moment he gets home.

Mirror: You are so wise my dep. queen.

(after an hour)

Dep. King: Anything to report?

Mirror: I finally manage to convince her to ask you for a divorce.

Dep. King: You did? Why that's the best news I have heard in months.

Annual Leave

Hello everybody. I have not been able to post any entries and will not be able to do so for another 2 or 3 days but rest assured that I am still alive and would love to go on kicking butt.

I have some things to attend to like earning a living, you catch my drift. I think I should be able to be back at the latest this Saturday and probably sooner so what ever it is have a nice time and take care.

So what describes him best?

I hope this would be just a short post. Usually I don't plan what I write so sometimes what what I thought would be short would end up long like this post I am typing now. All these typing without touching yet on what I am going to say looks like it is not going to be that short and crisp as I had initially intended for it to be. Ahh, what the heck.

I would like to touch on Ezam's pronouncement here. Hey I am not saying what he says is wrong and neither am I going to say that it is right. Being someone who is connected to both sides of the divide, I am sure he knows what is saying. I mean he knows what he wants to say but if what he says makes sense or not is entirely up to the readers.

Okay for those who has not gone over to the link yet, let me give you a teaser,

IPOH: PKR de facto leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim has no chance of
ever becoming prime minister, said former PKR Youth chief Ezam Mohd Nor.

Ezam,
who was Anwar’s political secretary when he was deputy prime minister,
dismissed claims that Anwar had managed to convince 30 MPs to leave
Barisan Nasional for Pakatan Rakyat.

“If he had the numbers today, he would be going to the Istana tonight.

I am not going to dismiss this but this raises a question in my mind. We all know that Ezam joined UMNO after the elections where the PR did credibitably well but fell a little short. They are indeed not far off the numbers needed to take over the country.

Lets say that Ezam's claim is true, the question I would like to ask is that by saying it he is implying that PR would not be able to take over the country so is that why you ditched the opposition front? If they had won would you have handed your application to rejoin UMNO?

We all know that he was very much opposition inclined prior to the elections with his claims of boxes of evidence and thousands of pages of claims of government sins.

So now that the opposition cannot form the government as he claimed, he decided to join the government? What does that make him? Is 'opportunist' an apt description of this man?

As I had said, it is not as short as I had wanted it to be. Got to go for writing classes.

Rakyat-Friendly

Rakyat: Er, is the minister in?

Jaga: Yes sir he is in. Would you like to come in sir?

Rakyat: Yes, I have a complaint to make.

Jaga: Please sir, do come in. Just walk straight. The doors are never closed sir.

Minister: Come in, come in. Please have a sit. Would you like some coffee?

Rakyat: Yes please.

Minister: Would you like to urut? We have Russians, Chinese, Indians you name it we have it.

Rakyat: Oh thats nice, Mongolians please.

Minister: That we don't have. Somehow they are afraid of coming here. What about Nepal? They are good.

Rakyat: Okay, I'll give it a try. I should come to complain more often.

Minister: Now how can this humble minister help you? You know we are all here to serve the Malaysian people. Please tell me how I could be of service. Have you been robbed, cheated or sodomised, tell me, I can help you.

Rakyat: Actually ah, everyday on my way to work I will pass a coffee shop where a group of rowdies would always shout obscenities at me. It is really frightening you know.

Minister: Oh, no, poor fellow. You must be traumatized. Did they sodomise you? Does one of them look like this person in this photo?

Rakyat: No they did not sodomise me and none of them look like the ex DPM.

Minister: Come on, are you convinced that you were not sodomised? The way you walk suggests that you are in pain. Maybe you did not get a good look at the man. I am sure one of them looks like him.

Rakyat: Now look here, I come to make a report because I heard this batch of ministers are rakyat-friendly. I know who I saw and whether I was sodomised or not.

Minister: So you were not sodomised?

Rakyat: I am very sure of that.

Minister: Then why waste my time. Go report to the police la, bloody fool. Jaga! get this idiot out. Next time anybody comes, ask if he has been sodomised. If he said no, don't allow him in. Waste my time only.

It is easy really.

I had always thought that it would be near impossible to just go see a top minister to complain about anything. I have heard of people complaining that sometimes they had to go to these ministers offices for days and in the end only got to meet certain gatekeepers who would demand for money to arrange such meets which most of the times never materialised.

Come on people, the man is working. Do you think it is that easy to go see the minister. Hey he has a country to run, not a sundry shop. Of course it would be next to impossible unless of course you are a Ketua Bahagian or a CEO of a big corporation or a Police big-shot.

Someone in the past was scoffed at for daring to suggest that, one should just simply go to the minister's house, should he be home and available, which sadly is as likely as George Bush having teh tarik at Kayu.

Yes, they are busy but our ministers are such good people and I take this opportunity to scold all those who scoffed at the suggestion that we meet our ministers at their own Fort-Knoxed home.

Hey they may be in charge of a certain ministry in their offices but at home they attend to anything under the sun. I think this is another Pak Lah initiative where all ministers are instructed to be home at a certain time of the day to wait for the rakyat to complain personally about any grouses they have.

If I am not mistaken I read about this new instruction at the bottom of an Ah Long pamphlet. Obviously the government is serious about this and to reach out to as many people as possible they even take adverts in these sleazy pamphlets. 3 cheers to the government. As for the Ah Long pamphlets I admit to securing the services of these people to buy fuel.

Anyway, why do I make such a claim and risk alieanting many friends? Why do I suddenly seem to be supportive of the government? My question is why not? Hey they are doing something good so why shouldn't I support them?

Okay let me prove your skepticism of my claim wrong. Didn't you see yesterday's news? A certain minister admitted to seeing a rakyat 'di kediaman saya' who came to complain that this premise was burgled via the backdoor and that he knows who the bugger, er, I mean, burgler, is.

Although the minister couldn't do anything about it as he claimed, he did ask the victim to think about it and do what he feels is right. That is of course not the issue here. The issue is not whether someone got buggered or burgled, thats for the police to decide, the issue is that it is easy for us rakyats to meet our ministers.

If your neighbour is giving you a hard time, if the restaurant you frequent is not clean or if the traffic lights at the junction is not functioning, just get on your bike, don't drive, its just too expensive, and head to the nearest minister's house to complain. I can assure you, it would be reported by the mainstream media.

Graft declining?

I would like to comment a little bit only on this but would like to get what others think about it. It is about a poll. No, not about the Anwar guilty or not poll. Let the court decide and lets see the behaviour of the court while presiding. This is about perception of corruption. I got this from Malaysianinsider which quoted Bernama.

PUTRAJAYA, July 3 ─ A local survey has revealed that Malaysians now
perceive corruption in the country to be declining in contrast to
findings by Transparency International.

The
survey, which was done by the Statistics Department and funded by the
Economic Planning Unit, showed that from the total 10 points on the
corruption perception index, Malaysia scored 6.79 points compared to
5.10 points in Transparency International's index. The lower the figure
the worse the situation.

According to the
National Integrity Perception Index Research Report 2007, which was
launched yesterday, the people's perception on corruption alleviation
was expected to be better this year and in the future.

Malaysian Integrity Institute president Datuk Dr
Mohd Tap Salleh, when presenting the findings, said this was due to the
government's development policy and increase in transparency, including
efforts to make the Anti-Corruption Agency a fully independent
commission.

Speaking to reporters after the
launching, Chief Secretary to the Government Tan Sri Mohd Sidek Hassan,
however, said that both findings should not be compared as they
involved different sets of respondents.

"This
is the first time such the survey was conducted. It's a good start and
will be the benchmark to improve national integrity," he said.

The
survey also had five other perception indexes, namely in Public Service
Delivery Quality (6.60 points), Social Obligation and Business Ethic
Practices (6.90), Family Institutions and Community Stability (7.38),
Life Quality and Community Welfare (7.41) and Malaysian Courteousness
(7.07).

Overall, the survey, which was
conducted between August and September last year, showed the National
Integrity Perception Index at 6.79 points.

It
involved 14,967 respondents nationwide, where 67 per cent were from
household groups, 26.9 per cent civil servants, and the other 6.1 per
cent senior officers in the private sector.

The second survey for this year's index is expected to kick off in the middle of this month. ─ Bernama

My comment is this. Did they conduct this poll at some BN Youth do or at Timbuktu.

What do you say? I welcome any comments, even those against mine.

Numbskull

I don't read the mainstream newspapers and neither do I catch the news on RTM, TV3 or NTV7. Lately I have been having some difficulties in getting anything from the internet. The earlier few posts were done with much difficulty because, somehow, I take like a lifetime to get through to any website.

No I am not attacked by some malicious cybertroopers who inundated my hardisks with virus, trojans or worms or even cockroaches, its just that my hardisk is all cluttered and in serious need of reformatting.

Okay back to what I had meant to say. So a moment ago I was visiting Cakap Tak Serupa Bikin and read his latest post about that monster from Sabah uneffectionately called 'Bung'. Now this uneducated bastard had the gall to say that the Federal government should not give even a single sen to opposition controlled states.

He went on to say that after all the 'robbing', ooops, sorry that was mine, aid the government has given the people, the least they could do is support the BN.

My question. Which planet does this ape come from? Planet of the Apes? That is from the future and this guy is fossil, he can't be from the future.

Where the hell did this idiotic, lunatic, shit-for-brain, shit-head get that notion from? Whose money is he talking about? Is he talking about his father or grandfather's money? I mean which which hell's pit did they dig this arsehole out?

Maybe its the UMNO culture, I think. Yes, in UMNO, the people's money is equals to UMNO's money, so they think. Pak Lah, do yourself a favour, shoot this guy before he opens his mouth again.

Aesop's Fables remix

Once upon a time in a land very-very far way there was a shepherd, a job very high up in the hierarchy of the village, who was angry that his assistant would imminently take over his prized position.

With the help of his sheep dogs he forcefully disguised his assistant as a wolf and started shouting "help, wolf, help, wolf, help help, wolf". The villagers ran to the field and saw the sheep dogs with a wolf lookalike. Many were puzzled that the wolf did not look like one and it was protesting that it was not a wolf.

With the help of some village elders whose demeanor were very questionable, the shepherd managed to get the assistant sentenced to jail.

As time passed by, a new shepherd from the same clan took over and was enjoying his position as shepherd. Then he realised that the same assistant who has since been released is still a menace to the his position of shepherd.

Realising that the threat was very real, he remembered the old trick played by the now retired, old, double by passed shepherd and decided to play the same trick. He got his sheep dogs many of whom were involved in the infamous old trick and they forcibly dressed the ousted assistant in sheep clothings and shouted "help wolf, help wolf, help, help, wolf".

After shouting themselves course, they found out that only a handful of villagers were gathered in front of them. The rest were not interested.

The Moral of the story: The second time try shouting, "help tiger" it may work.