Wednesday, 27 February 2008

What If They Are Not In Politics?

I wonder what would these people be if they had not gone into politics. Guess who they are..

1. He becomes a doctor but sadly is now behind bars. It seems that he was sued by 23 women for insisting on personally shaving their pubic hair for a sinus operation. A fighter plane and submarine fanatic.

2. A taxi driver without a permit. Tried to steal a few hundred permits and is now banished to Grik.

3. Currently serving time for share fraud. In prison, specialises in making paper fan shaped toupee.

4. A technician with a cctv distributor.

5. A counterfeiter cum part-time actress. Specialises in crying scenes. Started off forging APs.

6. Also in prison for passing himself off as a royalty to con tourists. Tried to run from the law by undergoing plastic surgery but ended up with a permanent swell in the lower lip.

7. Buys surat khabar lama. Did not finish school because stammers badly.

8. Works for an umbrella research company. Only has to talk to the umbrellas. Says, if you can't afford the umbrellas then don't buy them.

9. Also serving time in prison for trying to con an international cosmetic company. Claims that his tempe can make the skin fairer and raise the nose bridge.

10. Works for an international pharmaceuticals as a guinea pig for sleep disorder ailments. Can go for days without waking up.


 

For those who score full marks, a certain Mr. Rashid of SP&R will sponsor them to stand as candidates in the coming GE. He will donate 20000 votes. You have the choice to pick the constituency that you like.

7 comments:

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hahahahahhahaha....how the hell did you come up with this la, cikgu?

i think number 10 was a dead give-away. and perhaps a few others; CSL, sam, pidah most notably.

guess who this fella then if he had not been a SIL to the PM- a freakin' Nobody.

monsterball said...

You are letting out your hidden talents...more and more by the days.
This 10 is killing me!!
You should reveal who they are.and get the 20000 votes from Rashid...to stand for Keadilan or DAP in Penang.
Then Rashid will tell you to go to hell...hahahahahaha
Kerp...need not look for pain killing medicine for sudden attacks ...if any.
The constant laughs and enjoyment he has in your blog..why......pain is never there.....non existence.
I remember.....playing mahjong for 8 hours every day......no pain...but after the game....reach home...all types of pains and aches start coming....proving the mind can be switched off by another powerful counter act against pains and aches.
For kerp...my advise for him is to get a sweet young thing..real or full size plastic..to hug and sleep with everyday....listening to 'What a wonderful world" ....over and over again....until he snores sleeping like a baby...smiling..contented and well.
For a non Muslim.....it is much easier....just few glasses of wine..walla...gone with the wind.
But the best....is read a boring book...until you can't stand it....hahahahaha

tokasid said...

Salam che'gu:

Lets see if my CSI/Law and Order viewings have improved my detective skills or not.

1-TDM
2-Naz big foulmouth
3-Sam vel of Snail River
4-Ah Lek the viagra man
5-nenek Sri Peeeedah AP
6-Tengku palsu denone al correct,correct.correct
7-Ke...ke...ke...keng yek the Salivator
8-
9-Captain Broom
10-TidurLAH

bru99 said...

Salam Cik Gu

I think 7 is kazam ala kazam! 8 no idea.

acciaccatura said...

adoooi chegu... lagu ni kalu, boleh buat compilation i tell you!

yapchongyee said...

http://katataknak.blogspot.com/

yapchongyee said...

LIM KHENG YAIK, (THE UMNO DOG) AND GERAKAN
TRAITORS TO THE CHINESE

Politicians are all the same, and they are all consistently unreliable , because if he is reliable then he will not survive as a politician, therefore is Kheng Yaik any better than Dato Seri Anwar; I can say for certain that one is no better than the other. What I am saying is that we do not need to know anything about any particular candidate. We really do not need to know whether he is a good man or otherwise; and this perspective runs counter to what everybody is saying about what this has done or have not done. It is absolutely pretentious to claim that we are able to correctly assess the character of Dato Seri or Kheng Yaik and determine who is the better man. I SUPPORT DATO SERI ANWAR and I live in Australia therefore what do I know about Dato Sari. I do not a thing about him, and that is the thing about politics, IT IS ALL ABOUT PERCEPTION. In fact from my perspective, I will vote for Dato Seri Anwar even if I believe that Kheng Yaik and that Dato Seri is a chameleon and Kheng Yaik is correct. As I had earlier said I do not need to know anything about Dato Seri because I deal with the democratic process, I vote him because he says that under his government, RACE POLITICS WILL BE ABOLISHED and I want that so I vote for him and I do not need to know how good or bad he is. PROVE TO US WHEN YOU ARE IN GOVERNMENT OR WE VOTE YOU OUT. We therefore need to start to vote for the opposition to start the democratic process. We need to throw or better destroy UMNO now.

Dear my Chinese & Indian brothers, do not listen to Kheng Yaik because he is an UMNO dog and he will sell his mother or his wife to gain FAVOUR from the PM and UMNO. These are the UMNO dogs who hang out their tongues for CSRAPS THROWN FROM UMNO TABLE to the dining room floor. I spit on these MCA, MIC and Gerakhan dogs.

Kheng Yaik says that it was Dato Seri Anwar who put in place all those provisions that retarded the progress of Chinese education and that it was he & Najib who repealed it; let us examine Kheng Yaik’s statement to assess the credibility of his claim. I will first call Kheng Yaik A LIAR and then I will go on to examine what I mean by that epithet. I call Kheng Yaik a liar because the minister merely implements GOVERNMENT POLICY. In fact all decisions made by the Cabinet are made binding all ministers as one as ministerial cabinet collective decision. What Kheng Yaik is talking about is government policy and such policy are by the very nature taken by the PARTY IN GOVERNMENT and the minister’s function is to implement the details that will make the policy work on the ground; only UMNO as a party can change such policy and it is disingenuous to say that Najib revoked it. Having said that it can only be true that neither Najib nor Dato Seri could by himself revoke what Kheng Yaik claims credit for himself and Najib.

In this respect the powers of the minister controls only the details of implementation; but of course he has powers to grant exception in individual cases but not to change policy except with the agreement of cabinet. The Malaysian model of government mirrors that of the British. I anticipate that readers will want to ask me if ministers are so without powers then how is it that they can make money so corruptly; the answer to that question is in the power of the minister to approve contracts or such like. These functions belong to the Minister’s portfolio and they relate to “implementation. Therefore it is not true what Kheng Yaik says that it was najib who removed the offending laws that disadvantaged the Chinese.

The democratic process is all about checks and balances; therefore how can there be checks and balances if our Chinese & Indian brothers keep voting UMNO. If UMNO knows that we are all their SLAVES then where is there a need for UMNO to do what is just in line with our minority interests ? We have like a bunch of fools fear reprisals and we keep voting UMNO so do we not deserve to be spat on by UMNO as they are doing even as of now? Our duty to our selves is to vote UMNO out because it has always been UMNO that has formed government. Do we not owe it to our children and their children to pressure UMNO to act in our interests or we will put them out of business. WE NEED TO START AT THIS ELECTION TO START THE PROCESS GOING. If Keadilan, PAS DAP do not act in our interest when they are in power then in the next election we can vote them out. We need to start and now is as good a time as any. VOTE KEADILAN, DAP, PAS FOR CHANGE !

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