Sunday, 24 February 2008

I Promised My Dad To Be A Good Boy

SPR: Good morning, please have a sit. So you are here to hand in your nomination papers? You are not from the BN are you?

Oppo: No, I am not from BN? Why? Is this place for the BN only?

SPR: Do you know that this seat has never fallen to the opposition before?

Oppo: Is that so? I heard the last time around the majority was quite slim. I think I have a fair chance. Don't you think so?

SPR: Oh, you think so do you? It's quite difficult to beat the BN people la. The resources that they have will overwhelm you. You will suffocate. They, the BN people, didn't meet you for a discussion?

Oppo: A discussion? What discussion? Are we supposed to do that?

SPR: Oh, a friendly discussion between adults. You know have small talk, getting to know each other better and who knows discuss something that is mutually beneficial?

Oppo: Small talk? Something mutually beneficial? Er please, I am a little bit slow you know, what is it that could be so mutually beneficial?

SPR: Who knows, while getting to know each other, you could discuss something, what they say, win win?

Oppo: Win, win? I don't get you? You mean, I win, and they win? How could that be?

SPR: Well, let's say, while walking or when entering your car, you suddenly stumble upon a bundle of money that strangely no one lays claim to. The amount I heard is quite handsome. Let me rephrase that, very handsome, enough to make you decide why the hell should you go through so much hassle, headache, not to mention heartache, and in the end, lose?

Oppo: Could that happen? Could I suddenly stumble upon a bundle of money, or suddenly find a bundle in my car? Hmm, strange. I thought that only happens in movies?

SPR: Art imitates life. They get the ideas for movies from what happens in life. Who knows this could be your lucky day? I think, there is a good chance of this happening to you. If I am not mistaken I thought I saw bundle somewhere? Looks like quite a big bundle.

Oppo: Wow, a big bundle. Must be heavy?

SPR: From what I saw, I am sure it is very heavy.

Oppo: My late dad had made me promised, just before he died, not to take anything that is not mine. If I had not promised that to him, I would be tempted. What could I do, a promise is a promise, don't you agree? I am sure you yourself wouldn't go against a promise you made with your dying father, would you? Anyway, my papers are all ready, I can't possibly back out could I?

SPR: Oh, I think that could be arranged? You could suddenly or accidentally add some extra numbers to your address or change some letters to your name or maybe even smudge your papers with ink, or the classic, fail to produce your IC? I would recommend the last one. Works all the time.

Oppo: Hmm, interesting. You seem to be very enthusiastic, I sense more then just one bundle is is at stake here?

SPR: Oh, during election times, there are so many bundles. Some do get misplaced you know but I can assure you that the other bundle is not as big and heavy as the want that you are about to stumble upon.

Oppo: I think I'll stick with the original plan.

SPR: What a pity, you've come to the end of the rainbow and chose to give that pot of gold a miss.

Oppo: Yeah, what a pity. Shouldn't have made the deal with my father. I wonder why my father made me promise him that? He has always been a righteous man you know? I think he was trying to tell me that it is wrong to take something that doesn't belong to me. Can you please go through my papers then? I am sure you will find everything in order.

SPR: Okay, let me have them. Hmm, everything seems to be in order. Okay, thank you mister righteous. Sure you want to leave the rainbow? Oh, by the way, after this you could still decide to pull out. Maybe ill-health? If it was disillusionment with your party, the bundle could be bigger you know. Maybe even double. I could give them your number?

Oppo: Thanks but no thanks. See you on election day.

BN: He agreed?

SPR: Nope, he is sticking.

BN: Anything not right with his papers? A missing comma, an undotted 'i'?

SPR: Nope.


Anonymous said...

hmm...kalau orang jahat, dengan kawan baik dia sendiri pun dia jahat. tengoklah.

anti-bn said...

Mufti Perlis: Don't elect BN.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hehehe...more like 'bribery 101: For The Real Dummies'.

I wouldnt be surprised if some can be bought. money can mean the world to some and politicians are known to be money-crazy.

tokasid said...

Salam Che'gu:

BN: Err...nothing wrong with his forms eh! Whats his reason for not wanting the 'discussion'?

SPR: Well, he sort of made a promise to his arwah dad to be a good boy.

BN: Really? I too did make a promise to my dad to be a good boy. And I was a good boy you know!

SPR: Good boy? But you are trying to buy the opposition?

BN: I was good when I was a boy. Its true...but I didn't promise my dad I'll be a good man.Only a good boy and didn't break that promise.

SPR: Oh..I see. Anyway, for my effort of trying to talk him out is there any bundle for me?

BN: What bundle.The deal is he tarik diri you'll get your bundle.Well I wouldn't say bundle for you.Just the Hari Raya Anfpau is more than enough.
And hey..please check whether he had his form stamped or not.Maybe you can disqualify him there.

SPR: He did have the stamping done. Err..however...your form was not stamped?

BN: What? Alamak mampus aku. Cilakak punya kempen manager aku.Bodo macam lembu tak buat kerja elok-elok. Cinabeng melayubeng hindubeng Can we do without the stamping or not?

SPR: If we follow the ruling you will be disqualified. But don't worry lah...we are SPR lah...we will do anything to make sure BN have all the advantage. So don'r worry...we will tell the opposition that the duty stamping is not compulsory anymore. So you are not disqualified. But I think the angpow should grow into a 10 inches enveloped as of now.Boleh?

BN: Okay lah okay lah...

Zawi said...

Though hilarious, I guess u r over imagining things. Anyway the comment made by Tokasid seems to be based on real happenings as they immediately changed their policy on stamping midway.
I posted a story on nomination day in Pasir Mas at my site so that friends can feel the mood too.

Mat Salo said...

Eh, manaaa adaaa... Be End kan tulus, anti-rasuah. Ini dakyah-dakyah komineh untuk menjatuhkan mertabat serta murtadbak bangsa, budaya, ugama dan celana...

Taruh lah kepercayaan penuh anda kepada SPR!

S.P.R. =SuRuHan PeMiMpIn RaSuAh

zorro said...

Indignantly giving my readers a link to this piece.Rocky, Haris, tony and I will be at Jeff OOi's book launch tomorrow at red Rock Hotel, Mcalister rd. 11am. Would love it if you can ponteng for a go to ed. department to hand in archery report.LOL.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Spot on, dah dasar tu. Baru tadi ajaq budak sivik tajuk kepentingan memilih rakan dan maruah diri.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Nanti baca.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Not some can be bought, many can be bought. Money can do wonders.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Kalau pembangkang alamat tak ada koma or huruf 'i' tak bertitik pun dia kiran kesalahan besaq. Silap-silap dia akan charge di court kerna menghina proses penamaan calon.

Kata Tak Nak said...

The exaggeration is there to highlight the matter. Yes, it was imagination at work but please do remember 'Art imitates life'

Kata Tak Nak said...

Menjatuhkan murtabak depa la. It is sickening really dengan orang tak takut tuhan ni.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Thanx for the link. Can't make it there tomorrow. My eldest daughter is admitted for a minor surgery so will be at the hospital.

Anonymous said...

macamana nie? ini lagi kes teruk

monsterball said...

kata tak nak...My righteous and non corruptable late father...went further by telling me..if I want to go into politics...I must be prepared to go against him...if ever both support different parties.
Can I do that?..he asked. I I love him more than any party.
Then he proudly said ....with a grin...that I am not cut out for politics.
That is why......I never join any party........even been approached by many time in my young and fury age...but all my life...I do care for Malaysia's political.economical and social positions...managed by UMNO.....and only during these 15 years....I feel being robed and treated like an animal for nothing.
I am so glad...millions Malaysians are feeling same thing.

Kata Tak Nak said...

To me there is nothing wrong with politics, its the politicians and I don't agree when people say all politician is dirty. Yes, many are but there are some who are not.
When we already know they are dirty we should kick them out why keep them some more?

monsterball said...

I certainly agree wit you .........kata tak nak...that not all politicians are dirty or corrupted and politics can be clean to a sacred religion.
What I was pointing out..was I have the stomach to do the right things...leaving out personal likes and dislikes...especially involving relatives and the oppositions. That I cannot..especially...with one who is my late father.
He knew I was dead serious.....but perhaps.he knows his son is not cut out for politics wisely ask me to choose the two love...that may be far far apart in real life.

yapchongyee said...


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