The Last Cabinet Meeting

Lah: Mr Secretary, is everyone present?

Sec: I guess so DS (Datuk Seri)

Lah: Apa guess, guess? Hang tak tau tepat-tepat ka?

Sec: All seats are taken DS, so all are present.

LKY: Ah, latok seli ah! Samy is not here la.

Lah: What? Samy not here? Then how come all seats is taken?

Najb: Khairy is seating in Samy's chair DS.

Lah: Oh, Khairy ka? Let's go on with the meeting.

Najib: DS, this is a Cabinet meeting, mana boleh Khairy attend?

Lah: Awat Najib? Hang nak bertanding di Tanjong ka?

Najib: Saya tak mau tanya DS, Hisham ni, dia suroh jugak.

Hisham: Auuuw, mane ade? Eh, Najib jangan buat cerite le. Mane ade kite suroh? Tak de le DS, Najib ni saje reke cerite.

Khairy: Hangpa dua oghang sama saja la. Tera dak cek cakap utgha ayahanda?

Lah: Pandai, menantu bapak. Let's start the meeting.

OKT: Then Samy not here how?

Lah: Its good that he is not here. I told him not to stand for reelection but he is stubborn so we are going to shift him to Baling. When he comes in, you all say it was a collective agreement ok? Anyone spill the beans will be sent to Kelantan to take on Nik Aziz.

Rafidah: Speak of the devil, here he comes.

Samy: Sorry la Datuk Siri, I was engaged with the contractor about the proposed bridge from Penang to Sri Lanka, that's why I am a bit late.

Lah: What bridge from Penang to Sri Lanka? I don't know anything about it?

Samy: Khairy said you ok the project already? Khairy, apa macam ni?

Khairy: Ada ayahanda, haghi tu masa ayahanda nak tidoq, cek tanya, ayahanda kata ok. Ayahanda dah sign pun. Tera dak cek cakap ayahanda?

Lah: Ayahanda kata ok ka? Kalu macam tu ok la. How much? Where are we going to get the money?

Samy: Not much la Datuk Siri, we will borrow from Myanmar, Laos, Rwanda, Sudan, Senegal and Tibet. Zimbabwe don't want to give. Mugabe said if Mahathir borrow, he will give.

Lah: Screw Mugabe. Hitam melegam cakap banyak.

Samy: Apa ni, hitam, hitam semua? Itu HINDARF sudah hantam sama saya isekarang Datuk Siri pun mau perli sama saya jugak ka?

Lah: I did not say it to you la. Sit down and keep quiet. Zam, how's the election propaganda coming?

Zam: I, I, I, I, I,

Nazri: Hey gagap, kalau tak gheti cakap omputih cakap Melayu la. Dok I, I, I, I, aku teghajang julin nanti. Tera dak saya cakap utagha DS?

Lah: Ha Zam, macam mana?

Zam: Saya, saya, saya, saya

Azmi: La, cakap Melayu pun dia gagap? Hang ni memang mamak gagap la zam.

Zam: Dulu aku, aku tak gagap la. Le, le, lepaih Al Jaze, ze, z era buat kughang a, a, ajaq baru a, a, a, a, a, aku gagap.

Lah: Can anyone tell me if we are ready for the election?

Nor: DS, we are ready for the election but we are not ready for after the election.

Najib: What do you mean? Are you saying we will lose?

Nor: I don't know about whether we are going to win or not. That is not my line of expertise but I know that we will have to spend a lot to win. After the elections, we will have no money at all zilch, zero, nada, mote.

Najib: The Petronas money all where?

Nor: What Petronas money? You all sapu everything, buy submarine la, Sukhoi la, New Executive jet la, go for holidays la. Where got money some more? We still haven't paid the contractors for the Ijok BE.

Najib: You mean, when I take over we will have no more money?

Lah: Eh, eh, capoinya mulut budak ni. What do you mean when you take over. Who says you are going to take over? Nor, cakap betoi-betoi ni, tak dak duit dah ka?

LKS: Latok Seli, how about my mileage claim? Hey, Nor, itu pun tak bole baya ka?

Nor: Sudah tak dak duit la Kheng Yaik.

Samy: Itu jamban macam mana?

Nor: Apa jamban? Bila you jadi menteri jamban?

Samy: Tadak la, itu jambatan pigi Sri Lanka la?

Nor: Mau bikin jamban pun takdak duit la, apa bikin jambatan.

Lah: You mean to say it's that serious?

Nor: Yes, DS.

Lah: Najib, ok lah, I hand over everything to you la. I am resigning and will not stand for reelection.

Najib: Er, Samy, you want to be PM ka? You take over la. I want to go to Mongolia.

Samy: Ta mau la, sudah bankrap baru mau kasi sama saye ka?

Lah: Never mind, Mahathir doesn't know this, we give it to him and then we all belah. He will surely take one.

Khairy: Ayahanda macam mano dengan den ni. Tak ado chan la den nak jadi montoghi?