IGP: Minah, come in please. Bring all the mails with you.
Minah: In a minute Tuan.
IGP: Before you sit, get me a cup of coffee please, black, no sugar. After the spare part change I have got to be careful with what I put in.
Minah: Yes, sir, there is nothing more important than health.
IGP: Read me the mails please.
Minah: This one is from the Raja Uda Police Station Butterworth. It says that they would like to ask for the station to be be closed because there are too many samsengs there and the personnel there are afraid for their safety sir.
IGP: Make a request to the minister to close the station. All personnel to be transferred to Sunway Lagoon as detectives. Next letter.
Minah: From Perak Headquarters sir. It says that the personnel are not happy because the state government is suspicious of them. They request to close the headquarters down and personnel be transferred.
IGP: Hmm, request minister to order closure of Perak headquarters and all personnel be transferred to Genting Theme Parks as detectives. Next letter.
Minah: From the pondok beat in Alor Setar near the stadium sir. They say that their personnel are being teased by some pondans. They are not happy because the pondans keep flashing at them. Request closure of pondok beat.
IGP: Okay, send approval for request and all personnel be given leave until posting is finalised. Next.
Minah: From the pondok beat at Lorong Gaharu Penang tuan. It says the personnel are fearful for their health because the prostitutes refuse to allow their customers to wear condoms. Request closure and transfer.
IGP: Hmm, okay, approve request and open new beat at the Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet near Sungai Dua Penang.
Minah: But you have already approved 5 new pondok beats at that outlet sir. One to transfer the pondok beat at Mak Mandin, one to transfer the pondok beat at Paya terubong and 3 to house personnels of the Bukit Mertajam police station that has been closed for safety reasons.
IGP: Okay, open up a pondok beat inside the compound of the Penang Headquarters and send them there. Next.
Minah: Request from the Perak marines division tuan. Request closure of base because the fishermen in Pangkor refused to listen to them sir. Also there are early signs of pirate activities and the personnel are afraid sir.
IGP: Request minister to close the base and request for 5 new mini bases at the meeting point of the Klang and Gombak River and a mini base at the smart tunnel in case there are floods. Next.
Minah: Request from the FRU sir. They say they are afraid of demonstrators. They request that next time there are demonstrations to send the army instead.
IGP: I can't ask the army, that is beyond my jurisdiction. Never mind reply saying that next time we will send schools cadet police members. Anymore?
Minah: Yes, sir, the minister wants to know if we need anymore police personnel in this year's intake?
IGP: Yes, tell him we need about 75,000 new personnels and 100 new police stations and 1500 pondok beats.
Minah: In a minute Tuan.
IGP: Before you sit, get me a cup of coffee please, black, no sugar. After the spare part change I have got to be careful with what I put in.
Minah: Yes, sir, there is nothing more important than health.
IGP: Read me the mails please.
Minah: This one is from the Raja Uda Police Station Butterworth. It says that they would like to ask for the station to be be closed because there are too many samsengs there and the personnel there are afraid for their safety sir.
IGP: Make a request to the minister to close the station. All personnel to be transferred to Sunway Lagoon as detectives. Next letter.
Minah: From Perak Headquarters sir. It says that the personnel are not happy because the state government is suspicious of them. They request to close the headquarters down and personnel be transferred.
IGP: Hmm, request minister to order closure of Perak headquarters and all personnel be transferred to Genting Theme Parks as detectives. Next letter.
Minah: From the pondok beat in Alor Setar near the stadium sir. They say that their personnel are being teased by some pondans. They are not happy because the pondans keep flashing at them. Request closure of pondok beat.
IGP: Okay, send approval for request and all personnel be given leave until posting is finalised. Next.
Minah: From the pondok beat at Lorong Gaharu Penang tuan. It says the personnel are fearful for their health because the prostitutes refuse to allow their customers to wear condoms. Request closure and transfer.
IGP: Hmm, okay, approve request and open new beat at the Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet near Sungai Dua Penang.
Minah: But you have already approved 5 new pondok beats at that outlet sir. One to transfer the pondok beat at Mak Mandin, one to transfer the pondok beat at Paya terubong and 3 to house personnels of the Bukit Mertajam police station that has been closed for safety reasons.
IGP: Okay, open up a pondok beat inside the compound of the Penang Headquarters and send them there. Next.
Minah: Request from the Perak marines division tuan. Request closure of base because the fishermen in Pangkor refused to listen to them sir. Also there are early signs of pirate activities and the personnel are afraid sir.
IGP: Request minister to close the base and request for 5 new mini bases at the meeting point of the Klang and Gombak River and a mini base at the smart tunnel in case there are floods. Next.
Minah: Request from the FRU sir. They say they are afraid of demonstrators. They request that next time there are demonstrations to send the army instead.
IGP: I can't ask the army, that is beyond my jurisdiction. Never mind reply saying that next time we will send schools cadet police members. Anymore?
Minah: Yes, sir, the minister wants to know if we need anymore police personnel in this year's intake?
IGP: Yes, tell him we need about 75,000 new personnels and 100 new police stations and 1500 pondok beats.
21 comments:
Cikgu,
This one is a classic. How much more foolish can we make the minister looks?
Cikgu, need to update you, Jalan Raja Uda has been transformed so much that the thugs and gangster all cannot cari makan already. It was really a kawasan hitam last time. People running with parangs, with scramblers chasing after them is quite a common sight.
Oo Oo Chegu they forget one request ie to shift Bk A Men its too dangerous on top of hill and in city too polluted. Request to be shifted to Kemunting like Home minister said for safety.
Ya Cikgu I stay in Raja Uda too and agree absolutely with frankie.
Anyway the beat is less than 1 year old, want to pindah so fast without getting acquainted with the residents?
Thong
Perhaps we should mobilise the rakyat to protect the police personnel? :)
What a joke! And the Bald One says it without a blink in his eye!
LOL!
Is this the beginning of a new policy for the Police? To retreat in the face of crime?
What is the job of a policeman? To tangkap those who double-park?
Salam Cikgu,
Soon, a new defence tactic will be developed based on US Tactical Forces. But where the USTF envelopes their personnel with multitudes of protection gear from head to toe, the Malaysian Tactical Mannual will adjust it to local environemnt - all Malaysian Tactical Force personnel will surround themselves with bodies of civilians - man, woman and children shall be used as body armour. This, will ensure the safety of our personnel in their endeavor to protect the ministers of this country. Oops, the people, I mean.
Zawi,
Knowing them I know this is not the lowest yet. Oh, no, not by a long short. They will not fail to amaze us with their stunning show of stupidity.
Frankie & anonymous 13:55,
When I was in Mak mandin, Raja Uda was as famous as it gets. Well I am surprised that things have changed. Only things outside the government can change for the better.
anonymous 12:02,
Yes, Peace Hill is kind of high. I pity those people serving there. They must be brought down to more manageable levels. Kesian.
dei,
Capital idea. We common folks should gang up to protect our police people. Must tell Al Blur about it.
Sabrina,
Their job is to catch common people who double park. VVIPs are exempted.
Shah,
You should know that we sre dispensible. Everything must be done to ensure the safety of the VVIPs. We should be proud to be made shields.
Hi Cikgu
The Marine police also needs reinforcement at the Putrajaya Lake to prevent foreigners from entering the country illegally ;)
Cikgu
I think the next to shed it's image
would be Jalan Perak.
Thong
kkbboy,
I was thinking of it but then we have to protect our boys and girls from mosquitoes. Pity them la.
anonymous 11:23,
Yes, Perak Road or the once infamous Kampung Pulau. Now its just like any safe place. Things have changed a lot. The only thigs left is in Putrajaya la.
Al Blur must have made his voters of High Fort damn proud,hope they keep sending him back to Parliament or else Jay Leno gonna have no kaki lawan!
Maybe Botak need to be based himself in a pondok inside Kamunting gaol! (for his own safety due to the whole world laughing at his good sense of humours)
bravo,
I am waiting in anticipation when will his next 'gem' comes. One thing I know, he will never fail to amuse.
Cikgu
very funnie! nampak sangat IGP ini benggap, dari dulu, kini, dan selama lama nya. dulu, Judi tak di tulis dalam Al Quran, kini Judi tu halal, dan selama lamanya jadi Polis saja le yang dapat jadi kaya cepat. ada satu OCPD yang pakai keta Mercedes yang tak mampu di pakai towkay businessman, terror betul.
Benggap,
Bagi depa mana ada tak halal? Semuanya halal asalkan menguntungkan. Kita saja yang kisahkan tentang halal dan haram, baik dan jahat, dosa dan pahala.
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