Friday, 3 October 2008

The Open House

Businessman1: Aah, selamat hari raya DS. Waa, somemore people say you not popular ah. So many people come for your open house la.

DS: You are right la. See so many Malaysians come for my open house until the food also going to finish. Hahahahaha. Stick around la. Don't forget ah, at 1.00 we adjourn to the private room.

Businessman1: No problem, no problem, I'll stick around one. There are so many people and ministers I would like to meet.

Businessman2: Ayoyo, DS, selamat hari raya la. Waa. so many people come ah. Last time MM time also not crowded like this la. The people love you la. I think you should think about staying on la. Don't worry, I can help one.

DS: Yes, la, I am thinking about that also la. Ah, don't forget, stick around, we'll have another session in the private room at 1.00.

Businessman2: Sure, sure. I say, isn't that Samy sitting there?

DS: Yes, he came at 6.30 this morning.

Businessman: Okay la DS, I want to talk something to Samy for a while. See you at 1.00.

Caterer: I say Mr. PA, the food all going to finish already la.

PA: What? So fast ah? How many pax you brought?

Caterer: As you said la. 15K.

PA: I say, I think you should bring in another 15K pax la.

DS: Ha, there you are. I have to compliment you la, everybody said the food is good la. Did you bring all 200K pax that I ordered because I am worried we may run out of food la.

Caterer: Ah! er, er, I ....

PA: Actually DS there is not enough space so he brought 50K first, another 50K is on the way. We purposely asked them to bring in 4 installments because of space and also because we want the food to be always warm.

DS: Clever, very clever. If you bring all, the food may get cold. Don't worry, next year I cater from you again. It's worth the RM50 per pax that we are paying. Okay, I have more guests.

PA: What la you er, er, you want to make him suspect ka?

Caterer: I panic la because he mentioned 200K. You told me the order was for 100K and that I should send only 15K because you are sure not many people would come. You said the order is for RM25 per pax but now DS said it is RM50. Waa. you makan alot la like this.

PA: You don't talk much, just get that extra 15K.

Businessman25: Selamat hari raya DS. Waa very grand la your celebration.

DS: Thank you, thank you. er, it's 12 now, don't forget the usual room at 1 afterwards.

Businessman24: Don't worry, I come ready for it. MM didn't come ka?

DS: No, because I didn't invite him.

Businessman24: Hahahahahahaha, good, good. Like that I like. People who kacau us, we all don't friend him.

Announcement: ladies and gentlemen. The time is now 12.45 and this open house would take a short break. We will continue at 3.00. Please leave in an orderly manner.

In the private room.

DS: Clap, clap. Okay ladies and gentlemen. Please line up here starting
from my right. DPM first, followed by ministers, deputy ministers and
then MPs. The non-muslim ministers, deputies and MPs please leave. This
is for those who celebrate raya only.

DS: Businessman1 you may proceed.

Businessman1: Selamat hari raya.

DPM: Selamat hari raya towkay, maaf zahir batin.

Minister: Selamat hari raya towkay, maaf zahir dan batin,

MP: Selamat hari raya towkay, maaf zahir dan batin.

DS: Okay, what do you all say to businessman1?

Chorus: Thank you businessman1 and thank you for the duit raya. ..........

After 1 and half hour the session ends.

Minister1: Hey how much did businessman1 give you?

MP: 50K. You got how much?

Minister1: I minister so more la. I got 125K.

MP3: That businessman19 really kedekut la. He ggave 15K only. Wait la next time.

MP6: Hey, isn't that Samy?

MP3: Where? Ya, la, that's him la. Hey Samy, Samy, come here a while.

Samy: Pelan, pelan la, jangan kuat kuat la. Nanti sumua orang tau.

MP3: What are you doing here? This one for muslims only and only for MPs and above.

Samy: I say, now I am unemployed la so I come to collect duit raya as we always do la.


Zubli Zainordin said...


Cik gu, Cik gu.

How much you got?

I only got from Businessman11, 12, and 17.

Not much lah, only RM 2.5 million.

I came late. Lucky I met my old friend, Samy, who pointed where the special meeting is.

Well, now, let's go shoppin in LA with BM..!

Kata Tak Nak said...

A little bit more than you la. You go with BM at your own peril. I'll go with azlina, for sure she'll not pounce on me.

Zubli Zainordin said...

Cik gu, now I know you more.

I sure must learn soon, more from your cikguness.

Well, now, comparatively speaking, what I got sound small. Yet, larger than 10 sen. This, I can swear on any ayer suer.

Just to inform you, Samy got much less than us.

He has numbered his days. He is no longer 40 feet tall in the public eyes. There is a new comeback kid, who is.

Some say, comefront kid.

Anyways. Sure sound good to me. These trips.

Same, destination, okay.

See you there Cik gu!

I can hardly wait for this BM to be pouncing me.


Kata Tak Nak said...

So you are sticking with BM? May god have mercy on you.

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Old habits die hard. Well, at least for ex ministers lah!

Kata Tak Nak said...

Now we know why they want to be MPs and why they are as excited as a std 1 kid when raya comes.

gongkaukau said...


I am at a loss for words but I guess I shouldn't be. I am a novice in the world of patronage politics.

Lina is a good choice lah, Cikgu. Definitely no pouncing on you. :)

Now I also want to be a Minister, maybe an MP first...

Anonymous said...

raya greetings my dear cikgu!
slmat hari raya maap zahir batin. the only ones supporting the goons these days are those whose lives depends on the MONEY made from supporting the goons through contracts, tenders etc. the network of supporters is a endless trail.right from the opis boy to the minister is all about SHOW ME THE MONEY! they are the ones who dont want a change of the goverment.nanti susah nak SHOW MW THE MONEY!. thats the bottom line.There is also yet another small grup who dont want a change too.these are the ones who have been brainwashed to believe that is the present gov falls then race and religion would be wiped out.thats astrocious lah cikgu. a true muslim should believe in the rukun of the rukun iman is percaya pada hari kiamat. as such till kiamat pun there is no way race and religion can be wiped out in this beloved country of ours.then why worry worry or believethose lies? i m stumped and me out will ya cikgu?

Kata Tak Nak said...

Good choice, sure to make you rich.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Masalahnya besi2 buruk ni susah nak buang. Pegang saja takut luka sebab terlalu banyak karat.
Mesti kena terus lawan tak boleh rest, terus lawan.

Anonymous said...

lawan tetap lawan cikgu.the truth is out there.but malsaysians ni suka mengharap agen mulder n scully ajer tak jadi cikgu. BANGKIT.BANGUN. wahai org org malaysia bolehland

Kata Tak Nak said...

Rakyat biasa terlalu biasa dengan ketakutan jadi memang susah nak diharapkan tapi ini tak bermakna kita tak boleh buat apa. Bagi mereka yang berjuang adalah penting rakyat tidak melihat mereka sebagai berputus asa. Mereka mesti menunjukkan kekuatan. Kalau mereka berganjak maka lebih2 lagi la rakyat.


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