Friday, 24 October 2008

The Bomoh

Datin Timah: Eh, fancy seeing you here Datin Biah. Why, you want to charm someone ka? I know this bomoh is very good one.

Datin Biah: Eh no la Datin Timah, I come because my son has been unwell lately. He's gone to many specialists but still not okay. Why are you here then? Maybe you want to charm someone kot?

Datin Timah: Eh, no la. Its for my driver. His son is taking the SPM so I want to help him la. Pity la, he is so desperate. Eh Datin Biah If I am not mistaken, Puan Seri Diana is here la. I can't be sure, I only saw her from the back la. Wait, wait the door is opening.

Datin Biah: Eh, Puan Seri Diana. Why got people sick in your house or you want to make charm?

Puan Seri Diana: Charm? This bomoh can make charm ka? I don't know la. How come you know Datin Biah? Have you done it before or are you going to do it now?

Datin Biah: Er, er, no la. I heard people say la. I came to help my sick son but you still didn't answer what you are doing here?

Puan Seri Diana: Er, er, I am here to help my husband's business la. He's hoping to get a tender. Eh, when I came just now, I saw Datin Joyah getting into her car la. I am sure she is up to no good one.

Datin Gayah: Eh, Datin Timah, Datin Biah and Puan Seri Diana! What are you all doing here?

Datin Timah: We needed some help so we heard this bomoh is good, that is why we come here.

Datin Gayah: Why your husband punya cannot stand ka? Get viagra la, why come here?

Datin Biah: No la, where got like that one. What are you doing here?

Datin Gayah: Er, my neighbour's husband has not come home for 3 days already so she asked me to come get help. Pity her la.

Puan Seri Diana: Why she didn't come here herself? Why ask you to come?

Datin Gayah: She, she is unwell, so she ask for my help la. You know how I like to help people.

Datin Timah: Waa, you are such a good neighbour la.

Assistant: Datin Timah, the bomoh is free to see you now.

Datin Timah: Okay la, Datins and Puan Seri, its my turn now. See you later okay.

Bomoh: Aha! Datin Timah, nice to see you again. What is it this time?

Datin Timah: The usual

Assistant: Datin Biah, come in please.

Bomoh: Ha, Datin Biah, the usual ka?

Datin Biah: Yes  la, apa lagi.

Assistant: Puan Seri Diana, come in please.

Bomoh: Yes, Puan Seri, yang biasa ka?

Puan Seri Diana: Wa! You clever la Tokmoh, you know everything la.

Assistant: Datin Gayah! Your turn now.

Bomoh: Yes, my dear Datin gayah, the usual ka.

Datin Gayah: Yes, here's the picture.

Bomoh: You know where to put it.

Datin Gayah: Er, Tokmoh, why did the others come here? Ala, you can tell me la, tell la. I pay you extra.

Bomoh: Let me see the picture?

Datin Gayah: Here, alaa Tokmoh, tell la, why they all come here?

Bomoh: They all brought the same picture la. They are all going to Melaka on the 29th for Datuk Shah Rukh Khan's installation.


MANTRA said...

Salam cikgu,
Please inform those mak datins and puan sri... all hotels are fully booked.. no more rumah tumpangan also. No need to be in melaka... live telecast... organise one party at home on big big screen...

Psssttt... dont tell these ladies, Shah Rukh Khan will quietly take a break at my kampung to mandi bunga.. only invited guests eh!

AngeL BeaR said...

ehehheehehehe...good one!!!

ctannie said...

suspense betul, hahahha, i needed that!

Anonymous said...

u rule lah cikgu ! can i be ur student?

Kata Tak Nak said...

I am sure you invited a certain female hippo from the pahang river.

Kata Tak Nak said...

angel bear,

Kata Tak Nak said...

More suspense coming.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Get me the tender to supply helicopters and I take you as my student.

tokasid said...

Assisant: Tok!Tok!

Bomoh:Hah!Apo kono eh jang?

Asst: Ni ad sorang laie Datin nak jumpo Tok tapi dio tak do appointment.

Bomoh: kalau tak ado laie oghang lain boie saj dio masuk. Ado hasil jugo kito...

Asst: Tapi Tok, Datin ni nampak polek jo Tok.

Bomoh: Polek?Polek macamano jang?

Asst: Dio bojambang dan bomisai Tok.

Bomoh: Hah!Bjambang bomisai? Ekau perati botol2 jang....jangan si ramas ponggong yang datang apo...Nahas kito.

monsterball said...

They claim to be decendants of Arabs.
Arabs knows next to nothing about Bomohs.
It's the Javanese...mixture of Indians...Chinese and Afrikans...that are best in black magic.
So...we can safely say...the Chinese and Indians...fucked them....up proper and produce.. what they are.....the "Malays"...which includes friend...kata tak nak......hahahahahahahaha

monsterball said...

And now...we are back to square one...these UMNO men are fucking up Chinese ..Indians..and white skin produce....true Malaysians.
They are doing something good ...after all..not that they like to do that...but because..their cock are itchy..for more and more varieties.

Eskapisminda said...

Hadoooiii...ini kelakar giler! Saspen menunggu punch line...VERY good one, as always!!! LOL

dunno why la they all puja2 SRK tu. I mean as a film star okla berlakon boleh tahan tapi attitude hampeh. Last datang Malaysia aritu berlagak tak mahu didekati atau interview. Hidung tak mancung pipi tersorong2 la datin2 oi! Malu oooo...terhegeh2 nak bagi pengiktirafan kat orang yang pandang kita sebelah mata...

muteaudio said...

Saya heran, pasai apa krjn Melaka tak suggest kat kerajaan pusat suruh bagi kerakyatan M'sia dan taraf Bumiputera kat SRK. Lagi senang utk dia submit tender Tourism M'sia utk promote M'sia kat oversea. Pastu bagi tanah free kat tepi bukit utk dia lari-lari N guling-guling utk promote M'sia. Pastu tukar nama Jln Hang Jebat kepada Jln Datuk SRK.

Senang cerita, bagi ajelah apa yang boleh di bagi. Maybe he'll be the next Malaysian pi angkasa lepas via Taming Seri Tower.

Anonymous said...

cikgu, i just read that the six year old girl detained was released by police but she refused to walk free n instead chose to stay with her mum in the slammer!
apa komen cikgu? or do u need a tender to supply lepat liat for the shah rukh ops! datuk shah rukh khan bash in melaka tak lama lagi? malaysia gerenti boleh! heck we beat the talibans, nepalis and siera leone team at the pestabola merdeka! in the final cikgu!


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