Friday, 18 July 2008

State of Affair

Auditor: Good morning, I am from the audit department.

Sec: Oh good morning sir. How may I help you sir.

Auditor: Could you please call the office manager for me?

Sec: I am afraid that would not be possible sir, he is not in yet.

Auditor: Not in? Its already 10.30 and he is not in yet? Is he always like this?

Sec: I am afraid so sir. Since he started working in March, he has been to the office only about twice only.

Auditor: So who has been doing his job? His assistant manager?

Sec: No sir, the chief clerk sir. The assistant manager also seldom comes in.

Auditor: Could you please call me the Security Manager then?

Sec: I am afraid its the same with that department sir.

Auditor: You mean the CC is doing the work there too?

Sec: Its the same for the Development Department, Education Department, Agriculture Department, Communication Department and all other departments sir.

Auditor: Could you give me the number of your Information Manager then. I have something important to talk to him.

Sec: I am afraid it won't do you any good sir. He has terminated his number and is now in the Pantai Hospital.

Auditor: Warded? I hope its nothing serious.

Sec: I don't know sir but he has gone in for defoaming. After coming home late on the 15th, he couldn't stop the foam from accumulating in the sides of his mouth. Some said its God's punishment for having a bad mouth and a bad heart.

Auditor: On the 15th? What was he doing that night?

Sec: I heard he was beaten up real bad in a debate match. He has been delirious ever since. He was often heard shouting "I am the greatest economist". Its quite bad sir. I heard they say he was complaining that the microphones changed his words, he wanted to say something else but the microphones kept playing tricks on him.

Auditor: Is any manager working here?

Sec: I am afraid not sir.

Auditor: Get me the General Manager then. This is outrageous.

Sec: I am afraid he is not in too sir. He only comes in once or twice a day for his siesta and we are not to disturb him. I think he is in the North today to campaign sir.

Auditor: In the North? Campaign? Campaign for what?

Sec: The Staff Club presidency sir.

Auditor: Don't tell me the Assistant General Manager is also not in and he is also campaigning.

Sec: I am afraid so sir, but you could meet his wife if you want. She runs his department whenever he is out.

Auditor: Call her then.

Sec: One moment sir. I am afraid, she is busy right now. She is in a meeting with some designers from Paris, London and New York. Jimmy Choo is also in the meeting. I heard it is preparations for her arrival in New York for her annual shopping do.

Auditor: I don't believe this, this can't be happening. Call all the CCs to the meeting room now.

Sec: I am afraid they are out entertaining the suppliers sir.

Auditor: Entertaining or being entertained?

16 comments:

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hehehehe...that info manager should quit not for his stupidity and the fact that he was trounced, that foaming in his mouth stinks the whole institution.

and the general manager is liken to inactive board director. sitting pretty up there doing nothing and gets paid handsomely...such good life, dont need no rice rationing.

[zsazsa] said...

jimmy choo's in a meeting.. nice touch hehe..

with all outside the office, i do wonder how they even get to do their job.. i would not want to be the cc that's for sure

fergie said...

Absolutely hilarious, cikgu! The WHOLE management should be sacked. Talk about cushy jobs .. yeah .. like kerp said "good life" and poor kerp needs a new laptop. Maybe these RICH folks cud/shud donate one esp. since they can afford Jimmy Choo!!

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Say, you think I can pitch in at the meeting? Jadi supplier for RM1,000 sandals per week pun jadilah! I mean with the top people all to busy campaigning or entertaining, who would know the actual price of the sandal kan?

ewoon said...

Cikgu,

i almost died laughing when i was reading this post.

All eyes were on me and they thought i had cracked up. Cracked up i did but not the sort to assign me to Tanjung Rambutan.

Excuse me while i wipe my tears of laughter. okay.

(Oh just shut up will you guys! i am not crying because i am in pain from sodomy. Cikgu did it. What a stupid bunch i have for colleagues.)

hahahahahah!

Kata Tak Nak said...

Kerp,
That is why they fight tooth and nail to be managers so that they don't have to work.

Kata Tak Nak said...

zsazsa,
Actually the CCs love it the way it is, less people more share.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Fergie,
Yes, and one claimed that you could see him anytime if you have a complaint.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shah,
RM1000 per sandal per week? Why so cheap? It would give them rashes. Charge them 5000 pounds but give them ABIBAS sandals and they would not be able to tell the difference.

Kata Tak Nak said...

ewoon,
You just have to change colleagues. They could be working for the sarkas, the sign is clear, no sense of humour.

Zawi said...

Cikgu,
He must be screwing the TV station for letting the cameraman zoom in at his foaming mouth. Imagine how bad it would be if the debate were to go on for another hour.
I think Pak Lah will congratulate him for the personal attack on Anwar.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Pak Zawi,
Of coirse Pak Lah will say that to him but after absorbing the public's reaction to it he would not be too happy.

Monster Mom said...

To all the CCs in da house - wa kesian sama lu....

EWWSS.. why do you have to remind me of that "foam" issue by the history teacher???

ngeh ngeh...

monsterball said...

You are at your very best and witty too.
The foams from the mouth...made alot of people watching...lost their appetite...while having dinner.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monster mom,
The foam sums up BN, all foam and no results.

Kata Tak Nak said...

monsterball,
I am not making this up, even some small children in the house commented on the foam. This is God;s way of punishing that idiot.

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