Saturday, 26 July 2008

Please your honour, a little bit only, please, please.

Prosecutor: Your honour, we are unable to get fresh samples to ascertain the DNA of the accused so we are applying for the court to order the accused to provide us with samples of his blood, semen and pubic hair.

Judge: Why don't you just swab the inside of his mouth? Why do you need blood, semen and pubic hairs for?

Prosecutor: Er, er, I don't know about that, the IGP and the AG asked me to ask for it and they said that your honour would surely approve?

Judge: Oh, they said that did they? Who do they think I am? That Hacks judge? Why are they ordering you? Aren't they supposed to be disqualified from handling this case? Why do you need the DNA profile for? You still have samples from 1998 don't you?

Prosecutor: If your honour had read the papers, even the Prime Minister had asked the accused to provide the samples. He said that the old samples are spoilt.

Judge: Is the PM the IO? Is he the prosecuting officer. What powers does he has to demand for it? Is he a party to anything here?

Prosecutor: Why your honour, he is the Prime Minister.

Judge: So? Has he been sodomised too? And what do you mean the old samples are spoilt? Young man, do you know anything about DNA? Do you still have the old samples?

Prosecutor: We had some old samples but not enough. Some of it were taken to smear the victim's uhm, er, ..... I mean some of it got lost in transit while taken to the lab.

Judge: I like the first part better.

Prosecutor: What first part?

Judge: The smearing part?

Prosecutor: Oh, that part. I got my scripts wrong. The smear was supposed to be, they are trying to smear the name of the TPM.

Judge: And what have that got to do with the accused DNA?

Prosecutor: Nothing your honour.

Judge: So why is it in your script?

Prosecutor: I mean, it's not in my written script your honour, it is in my head for future use but somehow I got confused.

Judge: Hmm, interesting. What about the data base from the old case. I am sure you have them stored somewhere safely don't you?

Prosecutor: We did ask the police for the data 3 weeks ago but last week they informed us that a hacker had hacked into the police system and destroyed them.

Judge: Hmm, I have not read anything about it before. Do you have a police report about this new development?

Prosecutor: Yes Your Honour, here.

Judge: It was dated yesterday. The police only made the report yesterday?

Prosecutor: Huh! What? Let me see it. Er, er, ...... it could be a typo your honour.

Judge: Aren't dates supposed to be very important in any reports?

Prosecutor: Yes Your Honour, they are.

Judge: Then why the mistakes? What are you trying to do? Do you really have a case against the accused?

Prosecutor: Your Honour, I am not feeling very well, could your give me an adjournment, please?

Judge: You want to continue in the afternoon?

Prosecutor: No, an indefinte adjournment please. I think I am going to be sick for a very long time.

Judge: Yes, I do think so myself. One month to settle all this mess and come back prepared.

Prosecutor: Oh, Your Honour, what about the samples?

Judge: Nope, prove why I must order for it to be given.

Prosecutor: Please your honour, a little bit only, please, please.

20 comments:

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Forensic Expert1: Haiyah! This case will get us in big shit man!

FE2: Ya lar...if we don't get everything wrong, they will want our blood for it!

FE1: And if we get everything right?

FE2: Then the public will screw us left, right and center!

FE1: Mati lo like this. Eh! You sure or not we don't have anymore sample from last time one? One tiny bit oso don't have ar?

FE2: If got oso cannot use ma.

FE1: Why?

FE2: Haiyah! You no read papers ar? The PM oready said sample old one...can change change! Where he get that stupid theory oso I don't know lah.

MANTRA said...

Salam cikgu

I like this part..even the Prime Minister had asked the accused to provide the samples. He said that the old samples are spoilt.

The Prime Minister knows too well and reads too much...(yawn..yawn..yawn..)Wonder, if he knows what DNA means.

Too bad, the rakyat dont even bother to acknowledge this.

fergie said...

Hello Cikgu,
Much ado about DNA smells fishy. Like "mantra" says .. even the PM asking for DNA .. why he interfere .. no ethics la. Have u seen the pic of Saiful's uncle "Pet"? What are your views? hehe I hear you will be visiting Raden during the Aug hols. She has so much spiritual strength I'm sure she'll pull thru. Have a nice weekend.

Anonymous said...

PM knows nut for nothing, he's got stupid silly ideas that's unbecoming from a PM, one idea that me laugh till today, "to prevent flood you have to straightened the river", what a joke, to be a PM you have to be well read and knowledgeable, what we have now is "hampeh", no std.

frankie said...

If the PM keep his big mouth shut up about DNA, the world will not think he knows nothing about DNA but once he opened his mouth, we also open our mouth in amazement about how little he knows about DNA.

Now we know what a bloody stupid asshole we have as the PM. And this guy is gunning for UMNO presidency without contest??

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shah.
I think ah, this is bikos the PM DNA oso change la. He is talking with his sleeping DNA la.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Mantra,
His comments is a breakthrough in DNA research. After this they will give him a PhD in Science. Datuk Seri Dr. Abdullah Hj Ahamad Al Tiduri Al DNAri

Kata Tak Nak said...

Fergie,
The people up there have a thing or two to learn from Raden about being strong the honest way.

Kata Tak Nak said...

anonymous,
They have been using the brains to cheat all these time that they cannot think right anymore.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Frankie,
He has to talk to show that he is still alive but the problem is that everything he opens it shit spews out.

Zawi said...

Chegu,
At times I am beginning to believe that what yu wrote is not a figment of your imagination but what really happened.
By what is happening with the Merc in Trengganu, nobody seems to heed this Pee Em anymore.

monsterball said...

Where got lawyers talk like that...except from UMNO.....begging..pleading...with no brain..just talking talking cock and bull.. like a parrot...only know..what boss want..must get..no brain at all.
So judge say no...sure to hentam from so many..to be transfered to a small pulau.
He knows that..so keep pleading...."please..please ....please"......no shame ah?
But then...he comes from UMNO ....where understand shame.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

i think judges are scared shit of the prosecution team becos as in 1998, and now, we have a TUN as one of the DPPs...kihkihhh..

sorry for the distasteful humour cikgu. still having that little weekend hang-over left in me.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Pak Zawi,
Yes it is my imagination but not one that is wild. My imaginations are always based against what is Typical Malaysia and UMNO. Sometimes it hits the bullseye sometimes it misses but not by so much.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monty,
Of course la where got lawyers like that. If got it must be from UMNO because UMNO only can do like that.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Kerp,
Of course the judges are scared shit of the powers that be. Since 87, if you don't kowtow they will cut your lanchow.

Ydiana said...

Cikgu

This is good stuff. I hope you don't mind me posting in my blog. Too late to say no.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Yd,
Whatever I write is for public consumption and I have no reservations about it being lifted. Please do and glad you liked it.

Ydiana said...

Yeah, I like it. Too bad..for a wrong reason. Too much stupidity and manipulation going around.

monsterball said...

Hi fellas/gals!!
Saiful backside hole is a VIRGIN!
No one poke in before.
Doctor's report revealed by RPK...now in Malaysiakini.....go read it.

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