Friday, 29 May 2009

MACC, PKFZ and PT

Reporter: Sir, what is the commission going to do about the PKFZ scandal?

MACC: PKFZ? What is that? It's a scandal? Is this PKFZ a brothel?

Reporter: Port Klang Free Zone sir. Sir the PriceWaterHouse report sir?

MACC: What is this free zone? What is the price of this water house you are talking about? No riddles please, we have a lot of work. The Penanti Tapes is utmost on our minds now. All else can take a back seat.

Reporter: But sir, this involves a lot of money sir. Billions of ringgit of tax payers money.

MACC: Don't over-react la, where got billions? Maybe a few hundred ringgit la where got billions. You all over-dramatic la.

Reporter: So you are saying that you are not aware of any scandals regarding the PKFZ and PKA.

MACC: What is this, now you are adding PKA. You all should learn to speak in plain language la. You think I cannot create my own ka? Okay, now we are investigating the PT. Hahahaha, do you know what PT is? Penanti Tapes la.

Reporter: So what's the development with the Penanti Tapes sir?

MACC: I say, don't say it in full la, just say PT only. Please when you report make sure that you mention that I personally coined the acronym.

Reporter: Okay sir, so what's the development.

MACC: As of now, I think this is a very serious threat. Do you know that they offered RM80000? That's a lot of money la. How can they waste so much money. 80K is a big amount.

Reporter: But that is their own money sir, the PKFZ deals with billions of the people's money?

MACC: Look here young man. We are overworked as it is. We have so many cases. Each case has to take a number. We have reports dating back to the 80s. We have to look into those first.

Reporter: But the PT is a new case sir, why the haste then?

MACC: This is national interest. After this we have to investigate into another urgent case.

Reporter: What is that sir?

MACC: We have receieved a report from the SPR about the death of the Manek Urai rep.

Reporter: So what is it about sir, the death sir? What is there to investigate.

MACC: We want to know if he was induced to die. You know, we want to know if he accepted money to die just to have a by-election. Don't you think its funny? First Bt. Gantang died now Manek Urai. There is a pattern in all these deaths and we want to get to the bottom of this.

Reporter: What if you found that he was induced, he accepted money, to die?

MACC: We'll reccomend that the candidate with the second highest vote the last time around gets the seat.

Reporter: Is there such a provision? So when are you going to investigate about the PKFZ?

MACC: Got provision or no provision anything can be done one. After this we have to investigate about a Penghulu who used his position to get sexual favours, then about a case where a policeman accepted RM15 to not take action against a parking offender, then the office boy who claimed an extra RM5 for traveling, hmmm, I really can't tell you la. Maybe in about 10 to 15 years la.

Reporter: That long, some of the culprits would have been dead already.

MACC: Then there wouldn't be any need to investigate would there?

14 comments:

Mike said...

Reporter: Sir, I am amazed. See you then.

MACC: Wait! There is another sensational case. A Pas member Imam apparently took RM10 from the Friday prayer donations. This is very serious as it involves an Imam. We will get to the bottom of it in no time.

Reporter: But Sir, the Umno ex-Imam demanded RM30,000 from the maintenance conttractor and RM3000 monthly from the cleaning contractor. How come it is not investigated?

MACC: That's the problem with you people, always listening to rumours. We deal with facts, you know, not rumours.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Mike,
That is just brilliant.

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu, and evening to you Mike.

Mike's comment seem to be the icing on your cake, Cikgu - he complements well :)

Anonymous said...

CherGu
Youre really got creative idea in the Pentium VIII CPU huh...

go for RM10 friday donation, but foregone 12billion! no wonder bush team lost recent presidential election; similar mindset like ma-aa-see-sei!!!

Hamba said...

Sigh, so many moronic malays we have in our civil service. Where did UMNO dig up these imbeciles? The neanderthal nursery or Asinine R' Us? I'm going to wear a paper bag over my head if this thing continues... Looks like malays is going to be synonymous with morons... Ketuanan Melayu my foot, it more like Ketuanan moron!

Kata Tak Nak said...

shah,
Ya, he is good. I like the style but then you also sre no pushover yourself.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Anonymous,
Lets just say, they provide me with the munition with which to shoot at them.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Hamba,
You are damn right la. Malu you know with this kind of Melayu. Melayu muka tembok.

nik awin said...

cikgu,
saya dengar cerita PKFz dari sumber paling rapat dengan saya (mak saya) dia kerja kat PKA sebagai kerani kewangan kat situ..

memang sakit hati tengok projek kat tempat dah la kapal bawak tahi pun malu nak masuk, usahkan kapal taraf 5 bintang lagi.
tempat yg jin pun tak sudi nak bertendang bola.

tapi gazillion Rm dah mencurah sebab tu.
Kepala songlap duit, datin paduka X tu tak disambung kontrak.
tindakan undang-undang?
buat gelak aje..mana ada?

sekarang semua management dah tukar baru..tp kes tu masih la tak settle lagi

Kata Tak Nak said...

nik awin,
Benda ini tak akan di settle punya. Depa akan lengah-lengah dan cuba lupa. Kalu settle pun mesti unsatisfactory punya. Yang hantu tak akan kena.

Mike said...

Chegu and Cakapaje..

Thank you for the compliments.

Parody of Bolehland said...

PKFZ is Port Klang Fraud Zone or is it Port Klang Fleeced Zone. Love your dialogue better than mine :P see www.jonathan66-my.blogspot.com. Great blog and have bkmarked u too!

Kata Tak Nak said...

Jonathan,
I guess that's your name right? been over to your blog and like it and it's in my 'Good Reads' link.
Thanx for coming and thanks for the nice words.

ajai62 said...

Salam

Hahaha CSI style Malaysia...semua kes dibuang sebab orang yang disiasat dah mati...wakakakaa

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