Wednesday, 13 May 2009

The Gifts

Messenger: Hail Zambrus, Lord of the land of Perakus, twin of Mugabus, favourite son of Barisus Nasionalus.

Zambrus: Rest your tired limbs O messengus of the great Lord of Barisus. What tidings doth thou bring from my great Lord from Putrus Jayus? Speak O messengus for my heart could bear no longer. Doth the Great Ruler speaketh well of me for wresting the silver state of Perakus from the traitor Nizarus? Speaketh my servant.

Messenger: Hail fair Zambrus for thou hath cooleth the troubled heart of the Great Lord. Such pleasure was the Great Leader in that in me hath he instructed to present you with the key to the City of Hararus. The Great Leader hath bequethed unto thee this great prize for thy valorous victory.

Zambrus: As much as I am honoured with this but a confused thought hath crossed this hazy mind of mine. What good doth a key to a city so dark and far is for me?

Messenger: A history hath this key to tell Great Zambrus. First bestowed to the Godlike Mahathirus by the Great Emperor Mugabus the Gorilus of Zimbawaeus, this key was placed in the safe hands of the present Great Lord with specific instructions to only hand this to anyone who twins the Great Mugabus?

Zambrus: But my dear messengus, by twin, doth not this liken me then to the Great Mugabus?

Messenger: Hail, yes, Great Zambrus.

Zambrus: Doth the Great Leader not have keys to the city of Pretorius or New Delhus so that I could be twins of the Great Mandelus or Gandhus?

Messenger: The Great Leader seeth an uncanny likeness of you Great Zambrus to Mugabus the Gorillus, so rejoice Great Zambrus for a decline of this precious award would greatly hurt the hearts in Putrus Jayus.

Zambrus: I have no intention to brutalise the heart of the Great Leader. Please report of the extreme pleasure that I have in accepting this award. Hath the Great Leader hath more for me dear messengus?

Messenger: Yes, hero of Barisus, but first, a gift from the vanquished Khirus Toyus of Selangus. So much was he taken by your great valour that  with me I bring 3 carts of tempus.

Zambrus: Tempus? And may I ask of what good are tempus to me?

Messenger: It is said Great Zambrus that the tempus of Toyus have magic in them. They are known to have bleacheth properties. They bring light to a night so dark.

Zambrus: If that is true please convey to my brother Toyus my utmost gratitude and love and ask if he could spare 30 more carts. But messengus, what is the other gift that the Great Leader hath for me? Please with haste tell me for my heart raceth with great anticipation.

Messenger: The Great Emperor hath bequethed unto thee Great Zambrus the title Tanus Srius and said that thou no longer hath to work for the tehus tarikus paddlers for now thou are Great.

12 comments:

fahmi said...

salam.. serius betul2 lawak post nih... especially the 'tempus' part.. hahahahha cant do anything bout dat.. keep up da gudwork, its cool to ease up the tension regarding our country's situation...

Kata Tak Nak said...

fahmi,
There is just too much tension so time for something light but relevant.

Francis said...

Who is judge Ramli Ali, the judge that gave Zambry an stay within 3 hours?

Well, he is a Lingam appointed judge. A former Chief Registrar of the courts. When Lingam was talking to the disgraced Fairuz on how they were to manipulate the judiciary and appoint their cronies into the bench, Lingam said that Ramli was among the three preferred to be appointed by him. The other two were Datuk Heliliah Mohd Yusuf, a former Solicitor-General and Datuk Ahmad Maarop, a former commissioner of Law Revision. They were appointed as directed by Lingam and agreed upon by Vincent Tan and Mahathir on February 1. 2002.
Dear Malaysians, that's the man who gave a ridiculous stay to Zambry within 3 hours. Oh, by the way, Mohd Nizar needs to wait for about 6 days for his appeal to be heard. 1BlackMalaysia. Performance for Umno now. Malaysia later.

P.s Refer to the Lingam tape for verification. (Also read Jeffooi's blog)

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

The Tanus Srius award for that black crow? Serious? Hmm...really, really black 1Malaysia, as Francis put it.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hehehehe....the tempus may work on your complexion but not the brains. khirus toyus is one fine example.

Anonymous said...

Epilogue

Messenger: You can now berambus!

Zambrus: No, no. Don't let me hangus in hell (while wiping his hingus).

Kata Tak Nak said...

Francis,
Amazing but definitely not shocking coz with these swines, anything is fair.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shah,
In Sarkas land it's the darkest knights who are most decorated.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Kerp,
Exactly and I think the tempus do have dulling properties.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Anonymous,
Beautiful the berambus, hangus and hingus part. I love it.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sir,
Great hilarious stuff! A story with a flavor of Rome from a place called Bolehlasus!
By the way, May you have A Very Happy Teacher's Day!

Please keep on writing as your satire makes our day.
Romulus Xavier III

kopitelp16 said...

Classic! Zambrus can join Columbus and play far-far away!

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