Wednesday, 8 April 2009

So that is why they lost.

Reporter: DS, DS can you tell us why you lost in the 2 Bukits despite the many instant mee projects.

DS: How many times have I told you, those are not instant mee projects. It so happened that after looking through our records, we found some unfulfilled promises made by our former leaders, some dating back to the times of the late Tunku, so we thought since now that we have the money, why not make good on our promises. Let me reiterate, they are not instant mee projects.

Reporter: Okay, projects aside, why do you think you lost, despite the presence of party bigwigs including TDM.

DS: Frankly speaking, I am baffled. A day before polling we were confident that both the opponents would lose their deposits but, but, I am at a lost for words.

Reporter: Some said that the sentiments of 8/3 is still strong. The people has still not forgiven your party.

DS: What do you mean they have not forgiven us? What is there to forgive when no wrong has been committed? Okay, let me tell you a highly classified intel. Although this is classified but I think the people should know.

Reporter: What? Classified information?

DS: Yes, our intteligentia reported that they caught on radar last night, faint signs of foreign stealth aircrafts. Upon checking, they said that they saw paratroopers dropped somewhere in the vicinity of the durian plantations behind us. We believe that they are foreign agents brought by the PR to sabotage the elections. They must have used somekind of mind control rays to hypnotise the voters into voting for the PR.

Reporter: You mean, sabotage by a foreign government? Could it be from the US or Israel?

DS: We strongly believe so.

Reporter: This is a serious allegation DS. Are you planning of complaining to the UN?

DS: We know it is so but we have no evidence so no point in complaining to the UN. They do not have friendly judges like we have in our Federal Courts.

Reporter: So you mean to say, you are confident of winning if not for the act of sabotage.

DS: We were confident of winning. They people could see that we have changed. You could see from the crowd at our ceramahs. In fact, in one of the ceramahs that I went to there were close to 10 people who attended.

Reporter: You mean 10 thousand?

DS: No, 10.

Reporter: So what would the government do to prevent this from repeating?

DS: Oh don't worry, we are waiting for a former consultant now released, to come back with the latest equipments to counter this. In fact we are now channeling 50 percent of the 60 billion package, we announced earlier, just for this.

Reporter: But DS? That man is questionable?

DS: The courts didn't think so? Anyway we will not allow any commissions this time. We will reimburse him of all expenses incurred and maybe some sweat money not exceeding 20 percent of the amount and I'll make sure he doesn't use the services of any foreign interpreters.

Reporter: Is that the only reason DS?

DS: There are others also. The Old Man also played a part in our defeat at the other Bukit.

Reporter: Are you admitting that TDM is a liability?

DS: No I mean, the toupee man. He should have stayed at home and not go campaigning. He should realise that the Indians can't stand him anymore.

Reporter: What now after this DS?

DS: I am very tired and still have a new cabinet to think of, so I am going to go home and rest. Tomorrow I will open all the presents I have. Oh, I love naming a new cabinet, you suddenly get lots of presents.

20 comments:

Malaysian Joe said...

LOL... chegu... u are first out with this... foreign agents... hmmm... mind control... devious...

u shld have watched RTM1 to get a good laugh last night.

peng said...

And we learned a new word today; 'status quo'.
Status quo with a wider majority is something else.
Do they know maths, as in counting? And interpreting the numbers?
Cikgu, I was in Bkt Gantang on Sat & Sun. Ground support was tremendous. People came for PAS ceramah despite a heavy downpour and muddy ground conditions at the venue, despite there being no big name speakers. The crowd was not just 10 or 20, there were thousands..
And at a BN ceramah, there were no speaker, only a girl dancing on stage. Loud music blaring, no crowd. Only a sprinkling of curious people across the road where the stage was. Did the speakers do a 'Bala' when they saw no crowd present? Or did BN forgot to organise the 'crowd-for-hire'?
The rakyat is not stupid, no not like them.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Malaysian Joe,
I stopped watching RTM a long long long time ago except maybe football if I feel like it. What else could have caused it? It must be foreign agents.
Must get me one of those machines. Plenty of Puteris to use them on.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Peng,
I am not surprised and I guess the BN ceramah people were more busy dividing the loot from the handouts they are supposed to give.

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Hehe...this is close to HG Wells 'War of the Worlds'! Honestly, I thought you were going to use the 'batang' part :)

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hehehe...but i think uncle samy is still relevant. he managed to persuade quite a number of PKR's indian leaders to switch camp. i mean 4 is still quite a number isnt it?

Anonymous said...

Hai Malaysian Joe, can you please enlightened me what was on TV1 that made you laugh. I have not watched TV1,2,3,7 & 9 for a long time. Thank you very much and thanks to you Chegu for agents and mind control.

Eskapisminda said...

Haha. Hehe. LOL. U make my day la KTN. Aliens? Sungguh kreatif sekali.

frankie said...

The thing about the BN led government is they are a fun bunch to look at. You know the thick skin type, who dunno how to feel malu and always forever insist they are god given gifts to the rakyat.

From the top, everyone of them is questionable and with a long list of baggage to their name. Heck, even their supporters and junior members ain't clean either.

But becoz they are so thick skin, no feeling of shame, that is why I said, they are fun to watch..., only for laughs and amazement to how low will they go...practically no limit.

tokasid said...

DS...I know to prevent BN from losing in by-elections.

"How?"

Easy only DS....BN must only contest in by-elections in Sarawak and Sabah. If in Semenanjung..better don't la DS....

" Cilakak lu..."

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shah,
The reality is even more scary then HG Wells.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Kerp,
What he could manage 4? Wow thats fantastic.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Anonymous,
Mind games is the name of the game.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Eskapisminda,
Mana tau itu salah satu alasan yang mereka dah sediakan? Depa buleh buat apa saja, no matter how stupid.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Frankie,
Oh, yes, jokers they are. They never fail to fascinate with their dumb jokes.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Doc,
DS: Lebih baik kita pindah ke sana saja dan namakan negara tu Sabarawasia. Semanjung kita bagi saja free.

muteaudio said...

Chegu,
The next by-election yg ada calon MIC, saya nak bertaruh dgn Semi Value. Kalau MIC menang Semi Value cukur rambut, kalau MIC kalah saya cukur rambut.

Rasanya dia nak tak?

Kata Tak Nak said...

Razlin,
Mesti dia nak sebab dia memang takdak rambut.

Anonymous said...

They are not foreign agents lah.Dont u guys know that our very own james bond melayu jeffery zain is from changkat jering? sheesh! double agent mah!

Kata Tak Nak said...

anonymous,
I forgot all about our Senator Jefri Zain. Thats a good one la.

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