Wednesday, 16 January 2008

This Hearing Is Adjourned.

Judge: I understand you are representing Mr Ko a/l Rek in this hearing?

Lawyer: Yes, your honour.

Judge: I have before me a video clip implicating your client in a very serious case. What is your client's stand on this?

Lawyer: Your honour, my client, after watching the clip, was amazed that the person in the clip looked very much like him.

Judge: Only looked like him?

Lawyer: My client also admitted that the person also sound like him.

Judge: Looked like him and sound like him? Is he denying that it was him?

Lawyer: In our discussions we have never touched on that.

Judge: What do you mean that you have never touched on that? I am asking you a simple question; did your client deny that the person in the clip is him?

Lawyer: He has not denied and neither has he admitted that it was him because we never discussed about it.

Judge: Then what have you discussed with your client?

Lawyer: The possibility that the clip was doctored.

Judge: Doctored? This is a serious allegation. You are saying that someone altered the contents of the clip to make it look like it was your client speaking in the clip?

Lawyer: Exactly your honour, you took the words right out of my mouth.

Judge: If he says that the clip was doctored to make it look like it was him speaking then he is saying it was not him, am I right?

Lawyer: No, your honour, I do not know my client’s stand on this. I have to get his instructions on this.

Judge: Are you practising your double talk on me?

Lawyer: No your honour, I wouldn’t even dream of doing it and to be frank I don’t even know what double talk means.

Judge: Hmm, What else has your client instructed you to do?

Lawyer: My client was wondering what handphone you are using? Some say you are using a Nokia 3210. Your honour, that is so yesterday. It doesn’t even have a camera to record other people talking, not to mention bulky.

Judge: Handphone? What has that got to do with this hearing?

Lawyer: Everything your honour. First thing first. Would your honour be interested in a Nokia N95? Beautiful phone your honour, state of the art, very good camera, RM2000, 10 payments and its yours.

Judge: Come here young man. (whisper) he told me that it is free and you are trying to sell me that thing?

Lawyer: (whisper) No your honour, its 10 payments of RM200 a month …. Er, er, er never mind RM180 a month and I will pay the other RM20.

Judge: RM150 a month and no payment during Thaipusam and Deepavali?

Lawyer: Hmm, you sure do drive a hard bargain your honour, okay, deal.

Judge: Wait, wait, can you download the Soi Lek video also? I understand it is only about 14mb, not too big?

Lawyer: I’ll go one better, that video and M Daud Kilau’s Cek Mek Molek mp3, what say you, am I generous or what.

Judge: Gentlemen, we’ll take a recess and I will inform you when the next meeting would be.

11 comments:

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

I say, I say! This matter has seriously gotten out of hand, and I simply cannot stay out of the matter anymore!

Look here, it is bad enough for the possibility of the tape being doctored arising now, but to have that Dr Chua dragged in as well? Goodness! I had initially thought we were dealing with a contained state of affairs! Well, it does seem now apparently not.

With the new evidence now have just surfaced, I shall have to consult all the ASEAN Premiers as well as my counterparts in Australia and the UK. I mean, the inclusion of M Daud Kilau is a matter of grave concern affecting the entire civilised world! My jove, it is! :)

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shah,
Yes, a sorry state of affair don't you think so? What if everyone go all soft and jelly? National Security I say.

acciaccatura said...

salam chegu,
see? see or not chegu why you are not a lawyer? you'd be selling camera phones. now you are a chegu, i'd suggest you try selling CCTV! itu pun kalau they can stop saying 'sound or look like me'.

sori chegu, gurau je!

Kata Tak Nak said...

Accia,
Memang betoi, patot la saya tak dapat jd loyar asyik dok buat direct selling saja. No problem, saya tau puan melawak.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

now some sick child molester/abductor can deny he's the man caught in cctv. 'looks like me but no, must be a different paedo'.

^nokia 3210, thats a real classic cikgu. hehehe...

Kata Tak Nak said...

Kerp,
Yes, 3210 and he doesn't even know how to send a text-message.

Chua could have said that guy looked like me but he didn't. Guess he's got more class than that VK fella.

Mat Salo said...

How in the hell did our system allow dat no-class VK fella to get to be where he is?

And to save his own hide, even tried to commit his own flesh and blood to The Happy Hospital.. and the public bought the story lock stock and barrel.

Apa? Bodoh sangat ke rakyat Malingsia nih?

Maybe we git wat we deserved!

I say we vote for KTN as Attorney General!

At least sure better than the Tun fella too.. My God Tun! Tun! Pon bole kene beli ngan N Series ke?

Kata Tak Nak said...

MS,
Saya tak ingat. I don't remember. Itu saja Tun buleh cakap. Tun is not dumb. He made use of VK knowing that bastard is capable of all the dirty work. What baffles me was that Pak Lah had all the chance to be a hero and expose these wrongdoings but he chose to sleep with the devil. So be it, a devil he is now. Ooops, not a Red Devil okay.

tokasid said...

Salam che'gu:

Judge: You mean, your client didn't give you any instruction?

Lawyer: Correct,correct,correct.

Judge: And you didn't asked him for any instructions too?

Lawyer: Correct,correct,correct.

Judge: But you are suppose to get instructions from him right?
Lawyer: Correct,correct,correct.

Judge:So,what are you? Just appear here without instructions from him. Are you just for show?
Lawyer: Correct,correct,correct.
Judge: He's paying you to be here right?
Lawyer:
Correct,correct,correct.
Judge: Look here,you're getting on my nerves with this correct,correct,correct thing. Are instructed to only say that?
Lawyer: Correct,correct,correct.

Judge: Would you agree if I say your client is guilty?
Lawyer: Correct,correct,correct.

Judge: Aha...so he admitted he is guilty,through you.
Lawyer: Correct,correct,correct.
Judge: I hereby sentence you client to 4 years of koreking pungkoq all the ppl named in the video clip.

Che'gu; I share MS's sentiment on this matter.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Doc,
Judge: Would you agree if I say your client is guilty?
Lawyer: Correct,correct,correct.
This is brilliant.

I share his sentiment too accept the part of me being AG, I want to be CJ.

I still think it is all TDM's scheme. He is not stupid. Read how he answered questions. Saya tak ingat. I can't remember. Apa dia ingat rakyat bodoh nak percaya dia.

As for Pak Lah, that fellow is not fit to be mentioned anywhere la, he is just plain stupid. Nak jadi jahat tapi bodoh, mana buleh.

monsterball said...

Lawyer: May I approach the bench?
Judge: OK
Lawyer: Hi Judge...will you like Chua's sex movie?
Judge: Shit friend....how can you talk this in the court?
Lawyer: But you told me to tell you..as soon as possible...if I can get one for you.
Judge: OK la...meet me same old place to-night...and don't forget the chick you promise me too.
Judge: OK lawyer...noted your remark..lets proceed with the case.
To win a court case in Malaysia....it is who you know.
I recalled one one my judge friend told me..."monty...I hope I will never judge any case of yours".
Thank God he retired and never did.

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