Judge: I understand you are representing Mr Ko a/l Rek in this hearing?
Lawyer: Yes, your honour.
Judge: I have before me a video clip implicating your client in a very serious case. What is your client's stand on this?
Lawyer: Your honour, my client, after watching the clip, was amazed that the person in the clip looked very much like him.
Judge: Only looked like him?
Lawyer: My client also admitted that the person also sound like him.
Judge: Looked like him and sound like him? Is he denying that it was him?
Lawyer: In our discussions we have never touched on that.
Judge: What do you mean that you have never touched on that? I am asking you a simple question; did your client deny that the person in the clip is him?
Lawyer: He has not denied and neither has he admitted that it was him because we never discussed about it.
Judge: Then what have you discussed with your client?
Lawyer: The possibility that the clip was doctored.
Judge: Doctored? This is a serious allegation. You are saying that someone altered the contents of the clip to make it look like it was your client speaking in the clip?
Lawyer: Exactly your honour, you took the words right out of my mouth.
Judge: If he says that the clip was doctored to make it look like it was him speaking then he is saying it was not him, am I right?
Lawyer: No, your honour, I do not know my client’s stand on this. I have to get his instructions on this.
Judge: Are you practising your double talk on me?
Lawyer: No your honour, I wouldn’t even dream of doing it and to be frank I don’t even know what double talk means.
Judge: Hmm, What else has your client instructed you to do?
Lawyer: My client was wondering what handphone you are using? Some say you are using a Nokia 3210. Your honour, that is so yesterday. It doesn’t even have a camera to record other people talking, not to mention bulky.
Judge: Handphone? What has that got to do with this hearing?
Lawyer: Everything your honour. First thing first. Would your honour be interested in a Nokia N95? Beautiful phone your honour, state of the art, very good camera, RM2000, 10 payments and its yours.
Judge: Come here young man. (whisper) he told me that it is free and you are trying to sell me that thing?
Lawyer: (whisper) No your honour, its 10 payments of RM200 a month …. Er, er, er never mind RM180 a month and I will pay the other RM20.
Judge: RM150 a month and no payment during Thaipusam and Deepavali?
Lawyer: Hmm, you sure do drive a hard bargain your honour, okay, deal.
Judge: Wait, wait, can you download the Soi Lek video also? I understand it is only about 14mb, not too big?
Lawyer: I’ll go one better, that video and M Daud Kilau’s Cek Mek Molek mp3, what say you, am I generous or what.
Judge: Gentlemen, we’ll take a recess and I will inform you when the next meeting would be.