Thursday, 10 January 2008

Dahulu dan Sekarang

Last night Doc Tokasid sent me an sms on dulu and sekarang. Somehow, I lost the message and could remember only one or two. So based on what he said I added a few more of my own and would like readers to add whatever differences they see fit.

1. Dulu keras menunggu. Sekarang menunggu keras.

2. Dulu, cepat la sikit. Sekarang, takpa, minggu depan pun buleh.

3. Dulu 12 kali sebulan. Sekarang 12 bulan sekali.

4. Dulu, sayang, you nak pi Langkawi ka nak pi Pangkor. Sekarang, you nak pi Yan ka nak pi Kodiang.

5. Dulu, kalau I sakit, you la penawarnya. Sekarang, kalau I mati, you lah racunnya.

6. Dulu, eh sayang jangan angkat surat khabar tu biar I angkat. Sekarang, Ala badan you besaq macam peti ais takkan tak buleh angkat beras 20 kilo?

7. Dulu, sayang, tadi I pening tau tapi bila bau you kentut terus hilang pening tu. Sekarang, awat nak bunuh orang ka, pi la kentut tempat lain.

8. Dulu, kalau I jari you lah cincinnya. Sekarang, Kalau I kereta, you lah minyak hitamnya.

9. Dulu, sayang nak makan apa biaq abang beli. Sekarang, ooi tua, mana nasik aku?

Dan yang ini dia lain sikit dari yang atas.

10. Dulu, Kerjalah dengan saya. Sekarang. Padan muka kena tipu, sapa suruh kerja dengan saya, bahalol.

Anyone cares to add?

20 comments:

tokasid said...

Salam che'gu:

the missing part is like this:

11- Dulu baca dekat .Sekarang baca kena pegang buku jauh-jauh.
12-Dulu kencing pancut jauh.Sekarang pancut makin dekat,silap-silap terpancut di kaki sendiri.

13-Dulu tidor mengadap muka.Sekarang tidor berlaga pungkoq.

14-Dulu pakai minyak wangi.Sekarang pakai minyak angin. Erggh....!!!Banyak nya angin dan hangin.

and an addition to no 10 is this:

15-Dulu kuat tidoq. Sekarang pun masih kuat tidoq.

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Lol! Malam tadi pun terbahak dibuatnya baca sms tu! La ni pun masih terbahak juga! :)

My personal tambah ni cam your last sekali:
Dulu dok buta sokong parti keris, la ni dok nak nak tikam dia ngan keris!

monsterball said...

Dahulu MIC....
Sekarang Keadilan
So said Anwar...so was written....so shall it be done..in coming general election.
Dahulu Samy ada rambut...sekarang botak.
Dahulu boleh nampak bodek....sekarang perut banyak besar...butor dan bodek tak bola nampak.....kasian nya

Kata Tak Nak said...

Doc
Ha tu la saya check msg tu pagi tadi ada pasai master-mind dan terus sambung minyak angin.

Tadi ada la sorang mai melawat mertua aku yang agak tenat, kami dok sembang maka tekeluaq la hal yuran ni. Dia ni memang tak penah undi pembangkang tapi kali ni dia kata aku nak tengok depa (kerajaan) kalah teruk. Depa pembohong. Aku marah bukan pasai kena bayaq, dari dulu lagi kita dok bayaq tapi pasai apa dia bohong kat orang?

Maghah betoi dia.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shah,
Dulu gemilang cemerlang terbilang sekarang terkangkang.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monty,
Dulu Samy Full value, sekarang Samy no value

tokasid said...

Che'gu:

Yes, there many parents who are upset regarding the fees.

They told me in their kids school most of the fees had a little bit of increase here and there and some say they can accept that. What they can't stand is they were lied by the govt/kementerian.

I told them,when the so-called 'tiada yuran' was announced,I didn't believe at all.I know its all bullshit and goatshit for all it matters to me. But these simple( yeah they are simple coz year in year out they always believe all the lies BN gave them)the accep[eted the announcement with a loud applause.For days they talk about it in the warongs,the kedai nombor ekor( we have lots of investors here in Durian Tunggal at the 4 digit and DaMaCai outlets)and the pasar.

But as of last week, you'll notice steam coming from their nostrils and ears.Memaki hamun the govt became an art for these folks(mainly Amano members).

But,believe me che'gu, when the Sleeper announced the next GE, these folks will believe whatever the menteri and YBs lie ,again.

Dulu kena tipu.Sekarang masih kena tipu.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Doc,
Kalau depa suka ditipu kita tak buleh buat apa la. Saya pantang kalau orang cuba nak tipu tapi depa ni tak buleh hidup kalau tak kena tipu. So depa ni penagih tipu la kot?

monsterball said...

Here we talk shit.
At kickdefella...he talks cow dungs and drums of them.
What's wrong with bloggers nowadays?
No wonder Kerp is so quiet.
If he joins in..he will laugh too much and pee in his pants....not enough time to go to the toilet.
Not that he cannot take it.....but being a disabled person....he needs to take things...sa..loo..oo..lee la.
Have some considerations for the disabled...YOU IDIOTS!!
PS: Kerp...See how much I care for you.

hantutelur said...

Dulu yuran kena bayaq, baru pat ringgit lima kupang
Sekarang yuran "free" tapi kena juga bayaq empat puluh ringgit tiga kupang.

Dulu pasang CCTV nak cari petualang,
Sekarang pasang CCTV nak cantas orang

Dulu pasang bini buat kerja tak tunjuk kat orang
Sekarang pasang bini biaq muda dan lawa sebab nak tayang kat orang

Kata Tak Nak said...

Hantutelor,
Precious contribution there especially on the yuran.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hehehehe....mcm biasa, kena tokok nambah...nothing political la from me.

DULU- makan tempoyak kentut bau apple.

SEKARANG- makan apple kentut bau tempoyak basi.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Kerp,
Dulu, jangan tinggalkan daku. Sekarang, jangan dekati daku.

monsterball said...

hi kerp!! So glad you talking about futting.
Yes futting.....good smell.....means stomach.....not shit......but bad smell...means shit and body too hot..need to drink water alot.
Then if one can fut and shit punctually every day....you have a healthy body.
Biggest killer is a heavy drinker...plus great stress........but drinking do kill off stress.......makes the person relax and happy...yet it kills the liver!! So if one think drinking will kill off worries...so can live longer..they are wrong.
It seems.....an apple a day.....keeps the doctor away.
Is that true kerp?

monsterball said...

kerp.......Why no political comments?
You do support the a BN party...is it not?......and indirectly is supporting UMNO.
Then there is a group...who support Mahathir.....but not Pak Lah..who is head of UMNO..yet support UMNO.
Now MCA...fast learner...doing same thing.
Only idiotic low class MIC want to run the party like gangsters.
Malaysian politics is the laughing stock to the whole world...hope we don't be like those clowns......thick skin...corrupted hypocrites ..smart to tell lies and half truths...yet can judge others.
Debate a little la and let us know your thoughts on the political situation.
We need to be responsible voters..to Malaysia........and not according to our selfish objectives.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

mr Goh,

here's the thing. do we have to politicise on every single matter? i shall reserve which political party i'm affiliated to, but whoever screws up, i'll surely give them the stick. its an open secret after all which party i like, but must we screw things up when we're having fun here, particularly on this post?

cikgu, anymore? roll them out, man...hhehehe...

Raden Galoh said...

Salam Che'Gu...

These are godd jokes Sir! Really! Senyum-senyum kambing saya baca sorang2 ni...Tu yg bro TA tambah..alahai...class tu...

Nak tambah gaklah...
Dulu: Yang, meh I pegang tangan...kita jalan pelan-pelan

Sekarang: Ni apa yang macam org buta jalan pimpin tangan ni...jalan la sendiri...oiii..cepat la sikit!

Kata Tak Nak said...

Raden.
I like that one. Jalan macam orang buta pegann tangan, real precious.

Mat Salo said...

Mampuih mampuih mampuih..

My small cut 'n paste contribution of the Then and Now format chegu..


THEN: Long Hair
NOW: Longing for hair.

THEN: The President's struggle with Fidel.
NOW: The President's struggle with fidelity.

THEN: Being caught with Playboy magazine.
NOW: Being caught with Playboy magazine.

THEN: Rolling Stones.
NOW: Kidney stones.

THEN: Being called into the HM's office.
NOW: Calling the HM's office.

monsterball said...

Dahulu...I know. I know! I have an elephant memory.
Sekarang: I can't remember.
Dahulu...Don't be stupid! Malaysia boleh.
Sekarang..Don't be silly....why ask me...ask them.
Dahulu...Kota Baru court.
Sekarang: ACA courtship
Dahulu...Sodomy...masok jail
Serakang....c4 kill one.....no jail.
Dahulu...People's PM
Sekarang...Party PM
Dahulu...Simple Simon
Sekarang...Still Simple Simon......plus sleep sleep sleep.
Dahuklu ...mak is advisor
Sekarang....Anak take over
Dahulu: Jantang isap tatak
Sekarang...Perempuan isap....butor.

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