Wednesday, 23 January 2008

The End

Comm: Mr. Veekay, please take a seat. Remember you are under oath to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

VK: I say Haidy, Dev, what is this oath, oath thing all, come on man.

Comm: Mr. VK, let me remind you that this is a Royal Commission and as such, we, members of the Commission are all royalties. Please address us as Tengku.

VK: Ooops! Sorry, correct, correct, correct. Sorry your highnesses Tungkus.

Comm: That’s more like it. Counsels, your questions.

Lawyer: Please watch the video clip we are about to play.

VK: Ayoo! I’ve seen that video so many times already la, boring la seeing that mad or drunk man talking nonsense.

Lawyer: So you have seen the video, the whole 14 minutes, and do not want to watch it again?

VK: Yes, la, if I see it one time I will surely vomit one.

Lawyer: Do you recognize the man in the clip?

VK: Aiyoo, I already told my lawyer what, that man surely looks a lot like me and his voice also like mine.

Lawyer: So you are saying it is not you?

VK: I say or not that is not me? I say look and sound like me but I did not say that is not me.

Lawyer: Than who is that man?

VK: Not my job to know who he is, that is your job so why want to scold me?

Comm: Counsel, let me remind you that the witness has given a clear answer there.

Lawyer: Whats so clear with that answer your honour?

Comm: Are you saying I am talking nonsense? If I say he has given a clear answer then you must accept it. Go on to your next question or I will dismiss the witness.

VK: Aiyo, Tungku Dev, don’t scold him la, he is a young man, what he know? I am here to give my full cooperation with the Commission, I want to help my country, I love my country so much, and in fact I have already written the findings for this proceeding. It’s all here in this pendrive. Last time I use diskette la, but now modern what, so I use pendrive. YES! That is me in the video clip.

Comm: Do you realize the implication of your admission? Would you like a year’s break before we proceed? This is very dangerous you know. Think of the implications on some of us here.

VK: Don’t worry la Tungku Dev, Tungku Haidy, I discussed this with that Patel fella already, all rehearsed already one. Young man, go on with your questions.

Lawyer: Who was the person you were talking to on the phone? Was it ex-CJ Fairuz?

VK: Actually, that night, I had a quarrel with my wife, I ask but she don’t want to give so I got angry la I went down and had a few drinks. I am only a social drinker so if I drink a little bit too much I will talk nonsense la. Then these 2 Chinamen came to my house trying to sell me Amway products. I don’t like to turn people away. I pretended that my phone vibrated, so I went on and on la. Every time I looked, they were still there, don’t want to go away. I saw that young fellow recording me, I thought he was working for Kamalhasan or Rajnikant and they were looking for a new hero, so I put on my acting skills la. Actually 6 years already I have been waiting for a call from Mollywood and suddenly this thing happened.

Lawyer: Do you expect us here to believe this story?

Comm: Counsel, we believe his story. It is obvious he is telling the truth. Look at that pitiful face. Can that face lie, you tell me.

Lawyer: His story is not convincing enough. We have other witnesses to prove that he is lying.

Comm: We believe his story and it is up to us to say if he is telling the truth or not, not you. Anyway he has already written the findings which would make our job easier. He has in our encounters with him helped us in such manner many times so why must we ditch him now? We are not like that useless TA who pretended not to recognize a friend who had helped him a lot. We are not like that other ex-CJ who had forgotten who paid for his holidays? We are grateful people you know. We stick by our friends; we don’t ditch them in their time of need. You have a thing or two to learn about friendship.

Lawyer: But your honour ..

Comm: No buts, the Commission is pleased to announce that our job is completed. We will announce our findings later. Er, VK, where is that pendrive?

VK: Take from Apu boy there. Er, next week we meet in New Zealand ok? Vincent, Tun, that idiot TA, Patel and all the friends would be there. Make sure you come aah.

Comm: Aiyo! Why everytime New Zealand and Switzerland one. This time we go to Haadyai la.


bakaq a.k.a. ~penarik beca said...

Is there anybody out there who doesn’t know what really happen? Nobody?!!

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Reading bang bakaq's comment, I guess those who really knows are either afraid for their lives, or those same people in cahoots; Semoga Allah s.w.t. save Malaysia from people such as these!

Kata Tak Nak said...

I guess there are not many people who do not know whats happening. They either chose not to know or just couldn't be bothered to know. So what else is new?

Kata Tak Nak said...

Those who really know and have something to lose would say they do not know. Welcome to Malaysia.

tokasid said...

Salam Che'gu:

Comm: Counsel, now you better watch your line of questions here. We've had irrelevant questions and assumptions for the past weeks. Ew are here to determine the originality of the video clip.

Veekay: Correct,correct,correct.

Counsel: But, my questions are very relevant.It will show the effects of these the effect that cases might be bought!

Comm: Look here! This is no Tesco or Kapor or any pasar malam.There nothing to be bought here.We know CNY is approaching so you bring out about all these sales ah?

Veekey: Correct,cprrect.correct.

Counsel: But what he said is very clear that he is the one in the video.

Comm: What do you mean by that? This contempt of the court.

Counsel : We are not in court. This is a commission. Not a CONMISSION!
He said the person looks like him and sounded like him, yet he told us he was not talking to the ex-CJ! That doesn't make sense at all. It just showed he was the person,otherwise how would he know he's not talking to Peroz?

Comm: If you don'y get it, then you are not fit to be a lawyer, maybe a lauya would suit you.

Veekay: Correct,correct,correct.

Comm: See! Even Veekay here on the dock agrees with us that you are not fit.

Counsel: Why are you siding with him? He's on trial here not me. Isn't it that we are here to find the truth?

Comm: We already know the truth! Only you guys thought the truth is out there. You watch too much X-Files I think.

Veekay: Correct3. You should watch other series laa...try Zee channel for a change.

Comm: Correct3. try Zee Channel.

Counsel: You sound like Veekay now with the correct3.

Comm: Are you accusiing me to be the person in the video? Now this is too much. We'll adjourn for the day. We are writing the report tonight and give our findings tomorrow. Its clear that its not Veekay in the video.How can it be him when now you say I sound like him and that means I'm the person in the clip.

Counsel: ????

Veekay: I'm not the person right? Ahh...Hide there! Why Haadyai laa...batam better you know!!

Kata Tak Nak said...

Next they will say that the video clip was mysteriously found to be a CGI fake. They will accuse the USA of being jealous of our massive development and that Anwar is acting under their instructions.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hehehhehhe...tunku dev? you mean, as in YM tunku mahadev shankar shah al-haj? hehehehehhe...

to answer bang bakaq's q, i'm one!

RaisingMercury said...

why did i find that hilarious?

Kata Tak Nak said...

What they are doing is like a naked, bazooka wielding robber, robbing at a traffic lights right in front of a CCTV and expecting people to believe him when he says 'I didn't do it'.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Thanks for visiting. What else can I do. I may try to make it sound funny but the matter is very serious.


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