Sunday, 20 January 2008

I Can't Remember

Commission: Good morning Tun, please sit down. How are you Tun? You are looking fine. None the worse from that bypass operation I see.

Tun: Thank you, aah please for the record, it was not a bypass. I actually had a transplant.

Commission: A transplant? Where did they get a heart so fast?

Tun: I see that you all are so misinformed. Must be the press feeding you people with wrong information. I actually had a brain transplant.

Commission: Hmm, interesting so lets proceed. Please state your name and occupation.

Tun: I don't have to tell anybody my name, however I will tell you my occupation. I can't remember my last occupation but now I am the Director of the Memory Loss Research Project.

Commission: Don't you remember being the Prime Minister of this country?

Tun: Well let me see. Ah yes, I remember, I remember now. I was the prime Minister of Fiji for 22 years.

Commission: Fiji? This is Malaysia.

Tun: Malaysia? Sudah tukar ka? Okay, okay, Malaysia, whatever.

Commission: How long have you known Veekay?

Tun: Oh, Veekay? How could I forget. He was Anwar's driver whom we paid quite a lot to admit to being sodomised by Anwar.

Commission: No, Tun, you must have confused him with someone else. This Veekay is an Indian lawyer.

Tun: Hmm, oh, yes, I remember. I read about him in the papers, something about a video clip. Why, did he die? I'll send flowers.

Commission: Do you know him personally?

Tun: The only Indian that I know is the MIC President, er, er Datuk Sri Pandithan.

Commission: Pandithan? You mean Samy Velu?

Tun: Samy Velu? Who is he? Is he Anwar's new driver? Can you give me his phone number?

Commission: You don't remember things very well do you? Just bear with us a little longer and then you can go. Please watch the video clip we are about to play and tell us if you know the gentleman in the clip?

Tun: I may have known him, but I just can't remember. All this happened a long time ago, I can't remember?

Commission: All What happened a long time ago?

Tun: Manipulation of the judiciary.

Commission: So you are saying that the judiciary was manipulated?

Tun: Did I say that? I don't remember saying that. Are you working for Anwar?

Commission: Eer, Tun, one last question before we take a short break. What is your name again.

Tun: Tun Mutahir, the Bendahara of Narathiwat.

Commission: You may go Tun. Bring in Tengku Adnan

Tun: Are you Tengku Adnan? Do you know Anwar? How much do you want to admit that Anwar hantam your belakang?

Adnan: What is this, are you mad or drunk?

13 comments:

Mr. Right said...

Hhahaha... lawak kejam.

KTN,
Aku kat penang ni. Lepak G Hotel. Ada keja sikit. Kenapa Penang ni asyik jammed je? Mana2 jalan semuanya jem. Even weekend pun jem. Gilo, kalah KL.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Mr. Right,
Baru hampa tau macam mana kami terseksa disini. Nak bawak keta pun meluat. Oh, ada di Penang ya. Enjoy yourself and also rest for tonights game.

hantutelur said...

Is this supposed to be a satire? The story has a good premise, but you could represent it another way. Anyway, where's the usual "pa nama?" and his sarcasms? I'm a bit disappointed.

Kata Tak Nak said...

No, this is not a satire. If it is one, I would have definitely use, like you said, another premise'. This is quite direct. How could I forget his trademark 'apa nama'? Must be getting senile or I am infected with the 'can't remember' epidemic. I guess the disease only attacks big shots not small frys like me.

Anyway the game here is for readers to add whatever lines they feel appropriate.

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

I say, old chap! You seem to be getting better and better all the time! Which is very much unlike, that poor fella you have, shall we say, described here? Jolly good show!

It should interest you to know that we at MI9, have been profiling all involved in the proceeding. And, as Her Majesty has graciously allowed me to whisper into your ear, The Ronald Reagan Memory Syndrome; you do remember the fella reagan, don't you?

Well, way sometime back, that old guy was implicated in what is known as the Irangate, or the Iran/Contra Arms Deal. A Colonel Oliver had blurted his mouth about the Reagan fella, but sadly, the fella ws diagnosed as having memory failure, which off course, he did not.

But all things come to good, Allah s.w.t. saw it fitting, and the fella did towards the end of life, suffer a memory failure. Would this be the case here as well, I wonder.

Nevertheless, a jolly good show old chap! The PM will be nominating you for a mention by Her Majesty sometime soon.

hantutelur said...

IMO by mere mentioning of his name (actually not his name but simply "PM") in Lingam's video does not implicate him. But his rebuttal maybe. To stress that he was not influenced by any party he said the selection of judges was his own pregrogative. Now, that's quite damaging, ain't it?

monsterball said...

hahahahaha...Mahathir forgot 14 times in 90 minutes during at the Royal Commission grilling...YET....everyone knows he has an elephant brain to remember so well...writing his memoirs right now. And few years ago..he scolded Malays forget easily.......hahahahahaha
And the ex Chief Justice forgot 18 times....now wanting a lawyer to represent him......hahahahahaha
A Chief judge.....crying for help?
A chief is suppose to be the best of the best!!
To-morrow will see what he will say again. I am sure he will create more history with his loss of memories. Just look at how forgetful Mahathir front men are now.
And that Chief put his arm around Lingam...yet he said the opposite!!
Now you heard him talk...what type of Chief Justice did we had under Mahathir?
Nevermind.....I am not surprise...recollecting how Abdullah Ang can go in and out of jail everyday....and that man is an idiot. So Mahathir picked idiots or yes men..
Pak Lah knows UMNO is a gone case....so now declare Taipusam...a holiday for SELANGOR...to please the Indians......hahahahahaha
Only 15000 supporters and Hindraf had more than 400000 from my own eyes.....yet others said 100000....and Samy bragged ...he can get one million....yet he said 5000 will jam the whole of K.Lumpur....and Pak Lah is so proud of this Indian idiot........hahahahahaha
God does work in a mysterious way....and Mahathir killed original UMNO for his own agenda...he will be the one ..to kill his UMNO BARU...which was actually gone .....but we generous Malaysians gave Pak Lah a chance... based on his
"People's PM" and "I don't want big house or car" and promise to put corrupted people into jail....how many ministers are proven corrupted in these 5 years under Pak Lah?...so far no one dares to touch Samy...and this Chief Crazy Cow...because he have so many evidences to put UMNO guys into jail too.....starting from Mahathir.....and TDM said he cannot touch Samy...shows how powerful Samy is to UMNO..go read between the lines of TDM about Samy....and now Pak Lah have no choice..election is around the corner.......cannot say bad of anyone in BN. That's how sincere UMNO guys are to Malaysians.
Even before that...UMNO will always try their best to protect UMNO politicians...and scape goats like a high ranking police officer will need to be the sacrificial lamb.
hahahahaha....I simply cannot help thinking one of the most corrupted and crooked man...Mat bin Mat made a Senator..you know why??..he can get votes for UMNO....that's all.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shah old buddy,
Ah the good life in MI9, how could I forget. Those espionages, the coups, we did them all didn't we. I still have very fond and dear memories of having tea in the yard with the Queen. Charming lady and doesn't forget a thing unlike a certain somebody.

It seems that forgetfulness is not a disease but rather convenience, don't you think so old chap?

Reagan, Ronny or was it Ronald? Oh that elephant eared You Ass of Ei president. If I am not mistaken he had his Reaganomics didn't he?

Kata Tak Nak said...

Hantutelur,
He may try to conveniently forget important matters, but he couldn't hide that huge ego of his by insisting that the choice of these positions are his and his alone. That man doesn't know the meaning of the word humility.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monty,
Mahathir mudah lupa, mahathir terlupa yang Mahathir sudah dilupai.

cakapaje said...

Cikgu dear old chap,

Ssshhh...we do not want the world to know of our glorious past, do we? But you quite right on the You Ass of Ei President and his reaganomics! We should have done him in then, shouldn't we? But that is in the past and we live in this glorious present. Fancy another spot of spooks duty? :)

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shah,
Yeah for this assignment I would be going undercover dressed as a toupee wearing uncouth Indian in charge of roads and bridges.

dinkoi said...

Dahulu - "Melayu Mudah LUPA"
Kini - "Aku Sudah LUPA"
Selamanya - "...............LUPA"

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