Tuesday, 29 May 2007

Just A Kenduri

When we talk of a wedding feast, we talk of fun, laughter, colour, food glorious food and music; we talk of fiesta. Any groom would want his wedding feast or kenduri to be such. He would want it to be a memorable day, a day he will never forget for the rest of his life. Yes, I can say to my nephew his kenduri was memorable indeed. Its not always that one has such a feast 4 days after one's father's death; 3 days after burying one's father.

The kenduri on Sunday started a little bit late coz the caterer was caught in a jam. By 12.30 the three canopies were full with people. I got to meet some old friends who came for the kenduri and also to offer their condolences. There were also those who did know of the death 4 days earlier and were visibly shocked when told of the news.

The bersanding which was planned was cancelled. It was at the behest of the groom himself. I would have put my foot down if they had wanted to go on with it but common sense prevailed. He had taught and raised his children well.

Despite the full attendance and the colour and the hustle and bustle and the presence of 4 YBs, there was something missing. I dare say that what was missing was the most important ingredient of a kenduri. What was missing was a beaming, smiling and proud father. The mother was there but she was in tears. She greeted her friends not with pride but with tears.

Most of the conversation, at least those involving us the close family members, centred not so much on the bride or groom but on arwah.

When the eldest got married 3 years ago, we had a deejay and ended the feast with a karaoke session and arwah was so happy. Arwah was a singer himself, singing part-time in nightclubs for many years. He had long hair and sang only rock numbers. This time around there was no music to entertain guests.

At about 5pm things started to taper off and by 6 the last of the guests had arrived. Then it was cleaning up time. The groom, despite our protestation helped in the cleaning up. I guess he wanted to do something to keep himself occupied.

At about 8 there was hot kopi-o served and the groom and I together with a few of his friends were resting and chatting. Then he said, "Uncle Ajit, this time he goes for good. He has gone for courses for weeks but this time he is not coming back." I decided to be brutally but not cruelly frank with him. I told him that after this they are going to get lonely. When all is over, the relatives would have gone home and they would be left at home to pick up from where things had temporarily stopped, they are going to feel very lonely but life must go on.

I told him to take care of his mother, keep her occupied and not hurt her. He asked me to keep on visiting them to which I say I would.

Now all is over and today, just about 2 hours ago, begins a new chapter in my life. Nothing very significant to others but important to me and my family. I just sent my wife to the GH where she was warded. Tomorrow she would undergo surgery to take out a ovary. Yes, it is quite a common procedure nowadays but every invasive surgery comes with a certain amount of risk.

10 comments:

monsterball said...

Wife's surgery is nothing to worry about..but a surgery is always with some risks.
So I pray your wife will have a successful relatively very safe surgery.
Late brother son have completed all ceremonies. Pretty sure his father was there in spirit...laughing now....no more tears....as he realizes he is in the other world. It takes few days to realize..and I am sure he is very very happy.
Yes that old lady will be missing him...got to keep her busy and watch her character closely....not changed for worst.
Goodluck and all be well and good.

monsterball said...

Wife's surgery is nothing to worry about..but a surgery is always with some risks.
So I pray your wife will have a successful relatively very safe surgery.
Late brother son have completed all ceremonies. Pretty sure his father was there in spirit...laughing now....no more tears....as he realizes he is in the other world. It takes few days to realize..and I am sure he is very very happy.
Yes that old lady will be missing him...got to keep her busy and watch her character closely....not changed for worst.
Goodluck and all be well and good.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monsterball, thanks for the prayers. Doc said they will do it tomorrow afternoon.

Apandi said...

Chikgu, hope all goes well with your wife. A new chapter indeed. I myself went to see an ENT specialist this morning who ordered a CT Scan tomorrow. It started with a major nose bleed and an aftertaste of blood in the morning. Perhaps its the smoking that is getting to me. I am downplaying this and have not told anyone yet. Even the GL from the office was acquired without any specific explanation. I just hope that it is not something serious. Take care and please continue to write as I keep finding bits that I could use in your posts.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Apandi,
I don't know if the surgery could go on. She called me a while ago saying she is swirching off the phone coz she has to rest. It seemed that her pressure shot up. Knowing her I know that she worries. Its the pain that comes after the sedatives wear off. She has had an operation before to remove gall stones (69 stones) so she could still remember the ordeal she through.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Oh yes, Apandi, I hope its just a normal nose-bleed because of the heat. I would be happy if you could keep me posted on the nose-bleed thing. Take care.

Raden Galoh said...

Bro... How's your wife? I hope she's fine and all is well with the operation... Take a good care of her and you take care too ya..

Kata Tak Nak said...

Raden,
She just called a few minutes ago saying the surgery will be at after 12. She delivered something unexpected though, her blood sugar is 9 which is not normal.

Thanks Raden, I just hope everything would be fine and she would be home if possible at the end of the week.

Apandi said...

The nosebleed that I had was major. I mean it literally flows not drip. It occurs once in a few months. The last once (actually went to get mc - maleh nak join meeting bodo), the doctor referred me to an ENT specialist.

Got the GL and off I go, a scope - a six inch straw like metal thingie with lights and camera was inserted in my nose. They saw a lump - looks the same to me as the rest of my insides. He ordered a CT Scan - nothing appears. Got the scope again and saw it again.

Ordered a biopsy which was done yesterday. Apparently it was ugly as my wife said my stretcher was badly bloodied - did not see it as I was under.

Results next week. BTW, this is my first time ever of being warded. Oh, its not the the nosebleed that made me do this but also the aftertaste of blood when I woke up in the morning. So, you take care too.

Kata Tak Nak said...

apandi,
keep your spirits up. I know one tends to worry especially having to wait for so long to get the results. My prayers and keep me posted ok!

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