Thursday, 3 May 2007

DEMERIT SYSTEM FOR THE HOME

This is just a joke and is not meant to belittle the fairer sex. We have our fair share of men joke and like the good sports that we are, we bit our tongue till it splits, so be a sport and read.

Point system by women given to man In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects...Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here's a guide to the point system.

Simple Duties:

You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets(-1)
You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty (0)
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom (-2)
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
But return with beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10) It's her father (-20)

Social Engagements

You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
Tiffany has implants (-8)

Her Birthday

You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A Night Out with The Boys

Go out with a pal (-5)
And the pal is happily married (-4)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And he drives a Lotus (-10)
With a personalized license plate "GR8 N BED" (-15)

A Night Out

You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2) I
t's called DeathCop3 (-3)
Which features cyborgs having sex (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

Your Physique

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too" (-800)

The Big Question

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Communication

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+10)
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep (-20)

To Kalaiarasan, a buddy of mine since our Kelantan days, thanks for mailing me this.

23 comments:

tokasid said...

salam che'gu KTN:

Che'gu. cek kantoi la kalu ikut soalan2 yg di berikan. Dalam banyak2 ada la 2-3 yg kena ,hat lain hancoq leboq jadi debu( mcm lagu Hetty Koes Endang)

Kata Tak Nak said...

Awat dapat demerit banyak sampai kena buang sekolah kot.

Mr. Right said...

KTN,
Sorry off topic.

What happen to Man Utd last night? haiya... kalau takut nak lawan Liverpool in final pun, jangan la sampai kena belasah 3-0.

Good luck for FA Cup.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Mr Right,
Which Liverpool? The team that got belasah dengan arsenal 9 goals in two games and yang kalah home and away dengan MU tu? Suruh Liverpool main Melaka Telekom lah, jangan mimpi nak main dengan MU plak. Liverpool tu dulu 70s ok la, la ni maaf la ya.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Mr. Right,
Aku baca semula comment aku, aku rasa kasaq sikit la, so I humbly apologised.

monsterball said...

kata tak nak...I heard two buddies room mates...when the muslim is performing his prayers five times a day ...this non muslim room mate will take his time to read his diary or even steal some money from his pocket.

tokasid said...

Salam to che'gu:

Hang ubah template blog ni aku jadi celaru che'gu. Terkedu lima menet nak orientate page baru ni. rasa jangai sikit tapi okay dah la ni.
Awat tukaq.Pasai MU kalah ka che'gu?( aku dok cucuk nak bagi che'gu melatah...jangan muleh maki free sudah).

Have a nice weekend che'gu.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Aku habaq kat hang aku ni perangai gatai tangan sikit. Kalau aku nak cuba satu2 benda aku akan cuba sampai aku dapat yang macam mana aku mau atau yang hampir. Hang tengok aku pi ambik recent comment yang lain pulak. Memang dah adat gatai tangan.

Memang aku tengah dok berkabong tapi Man Utd deserved to lose that night. Kalau Dolah tak baguih, kita kata tak bagoih, kalau mahathir pelaq, aku kata pelaq dan kalau Man Utd sucks (that night)aku akui depa sucks. Tak pa aih aku tak maki aih, (tak secara bertulih la) he,he,he

bakaq a.k.a ~penarik beca said...

1. Ubah template tak pa, surat habaq pun selalu tukaq dia punya masthead.

2. Pompuan nak dilayan dan dimanjakan. Itu memang sifat depa. Tetapi yang feminis mungkin sibuk bertempur dengan nature depa.

3. Aku letak pompuan tempat tinggi. Mak aku, bini aku, anak-anak aku, adik kakak aku pompuan belaka. Bohong la kalau aku kata i have no complaint, tapi aku sungguh2 tak ingat nak komplen apa!

Mr. Right said...

KTN,

Hahahha... Liverpool yang aku maksudkan adalah Liverpool yang beat PSV, Barcelona and Chelsea. Liverpool yang akan lawan AC Milan di Athens.

Man Utd = jaguh kampung.

When comes to footy comment, takpe jadi sedikit kurang ajar. Baru syok...! Hahahha...

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

KTN,

looks like you guys can never win-lah.

damned if u do damned if you don't.

life's cruel, eh?

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

KTN,

I've been wanting to ask, but i scrolled down yr postings to make sure i didnt miss anything.

How is your brother?
I hope he is well.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Nuraina,
You are right about us men not being able to win. Apa nak buat, us gentlemen always give in you know.

As for my bro, he is wheelchair bound but his mind is sharp as ever. he's got back some strentgh now. I purposely did not write about him coz, I was trying to find photos of him before he got the disease and tomorrow I am going to snap pictures of him now. He knows and he doesn't mind. I just want to show readers (you have seen your sister) how cancer ravages someone.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Mr. Right,
Oh Liverpool yang tu ka? Oh yang tu bukan yang kalah 2 kali dengan Man U dan kena belasah dengan Arsenal la?

Oh baru aku tahu, Liverpool yang u maksudkan ialah Liverpool yang tak akan menang apa-apa silverware tahun ni dan yang kena main play-off tahun depan, dan yang nak buat stadium baru tapi masih tak buleh boh sebanyak Theatre of Dreams, dan yang bukan the best team in the world dan yang bukan team with the most supporters and fans in the world or should we say the pretenders to the title the best team, Liverpool tu ka?

Jgn marah ya, you gave the green light. Aku pun tak kisah kalau orang nak kata apa2 pasai Man Utd its all only football, and anyway whatever bad they say about Man Utd are lies, he,he,he.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Bakaq,
Pompuan ni mesti kena layan.
Aku dok risau jugak lani, pasai bini aku kena pi operate lagi 2 minggu. Dia ada fibroid besaq so depa kata nak bok kluaq sekali dengan rahim dia. Aku dah 51, dia 48, anak bongsu pun dah 20 jadi aku tak kisah kalau pasai tak buleh beranak lagi, yang aku risau, keselamatan dia. Ini surgery yang agak major jugak, there can be complications kan? Kalau tak buta buleh memudaratkan dia pulak. Aku tau dia risau dari tengok muka dia, aku hanya buleh doa dan harap saja la.

buayaputih said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
buayaputih said...

Chegu, aabbababbbbabbbabbb (long time no c)..

On your wife
OMG, I am so sorry to hear that. But in the same time I respect your coolness.

On MU
I thought they deserved it that night. They didn't give the best. Maybe had something to do with the league game schedule.

On Liverpool
Let's wait for the game in Athens. I tried to refer to recent trackback record (other than champs league) for some comment, but sorry, let's wait for the game in Athens.

On the vclip
That one your son?? Now I have reason to take a glimpse of it hehe (jgn marah ye)

On music
70's rock rocks!!! I'll put up some list about my listening pleasure in my blog (still alive)

On this post
Sorry if I jumble up everything. Don't have much time for this reading/blogging thing (is blogging suit me?) but relevant enough for some intelectual time wasting.

tokasid said...

Salam Che'gu KTN:
Mem nak kena operate ka? InsyaALLAh dia akan okay.kalu dia takdak kencin maneh atau darah tinggi lagi akan okay.
Hysterectomy is a major op tapi op tu dah very common dah.Depa nak buat hysterectomy pasai she is 48.kalau btwn 35- early 40s depa mungkin akan buat myomectomy saja(buang fibroid saja). At 48 hysterectomy is the better option, so chances of nak kena cancer rahim atau ovary dah eliminated. They might put her on HRT(hormone replacement therapy) after the op for several years( they will discuss with her and che'gu).Op tu will take about 1-1 1/2 jam. Dari masuk OT sampai keluaq ke wad maybe 2 1/2 jam semuanya.InsyaALLAh everything will be okay.Banyakkan doa. Saya doa kan mem che'gu cepat sembuh noo..

Kata Tak Nak said...

Tokasid,
Terima kasih banyak2 kerna penerangan itu. Actually the fibroid was detected dah dekat 4 tahun tapi depa kata sebab dia dah 40+ so depa nak tunggu sampai dia menopause dan benda tu akan mengecut sendiri. Tapi baru2 ni dia tukaq doktor, dan doctor tu8 decided that she should do the procedure. Actually supposed to be this wednesday, tapi baru ni depa called dan kata postpone to the coming wednesday.
Dia tak ada kencing maeh tapi ada darah tinggi which is very much under control la. I hope you don't mind kalau I seek your advice once in a while and thanks again, you've been a great help.

Mr. Right said...

OK... agreed with others. Wait for Athens.

By the way, tahu apa beza Rashid Sidek compare to, let say Yang Yang or Heryanto Arbi? Hehehe...

Kata Tak Nak said...

Mr. Right,
Beza Rashid dengan yang 2 ekoq tu selaian beza nama, aku tak tau la.

tokasid said...

Che'gu:
No problem.Kalau mana aku buleh jawab aku jawab.Hat tak buleh aku tanya pada yg reti.

Jun-E said...

Hahaha hilarious.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Blog Archive