Monday, 6 July 2009

Instant Mee

Man1: Urai 57 to headquarters, please come in, headquarters come in please, over.

HQ: This is headquarters, yes urai 57, what's your problem, over?

Man1: Headquarters, this is Urai 57. We are approaching Kg. X. Will rendezvous in about 15 minutes but where are the stuff? I repeat, the stuff are not with us. Please advise, over

HQ: Urai 57, HQ here, there is a slight delay, please proceed. merchandise will arrive at 1400 hours. Stall them first. Give the penghulu RM100 and he knows how to delay, over.

Man1: Roger HQ, but wait a minute, if I give RM100, when can I claim the money, over?

HQ: Urai 57, HQ here, tonight meet election director at KB and claim, over.

Man 1: HQ, urai 57 here, I claim 1K can or not?

HQ: Urai 57, claim 2K, 1 for you and 1 for me, over.

Man1: Roger and out. ........ Assalamualaikum, Tok Penghulu, nice of you to greet us here this morning.

TP: It's nice of you to come. Why only 1 car? Where are the barang-barang? You don't bring barang-barang and you expect the people to vote you?

Man1: Don't worry TP the barang-barang are on the way. The truck got stuck in mud at Kg. C so they had to wait to be towed but it would be here in at about 2.00 this evening. Err, this is for your effort.

TP: Eh, what is this? I say you shouldn't la. This is after all for the people but since you insist, thank you la. Err, RM35 only?

Man1: There is more don't worry, wait till we win. Is there a place where I we can rest till the truck comes?

TP: Please come to my house. You can freshen up. Feel free to use the jacuzzi and the pool room.

Man1: Thank you TP.

Time:2.30pm.

Man1: Thank you Tok Penghulu. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to apologise because the menteri could not come because he is currently overseas but he sent his Salam to you all. This meeting with the people has been planned for 2 years already but because of some problems, we could only come here today. Of course the opposition would say that this is an election mee segera project. They are always like that, always saying bad things about us but I am sure you people know us and our sincererity. In a moment a truck would arrive with gifts from the minister and I am proud to announce that the minister has approved a new bridge to be built in this kampung.

kg Man: Excuse me, My friend told me that he saw the Minister at Golok this morning and you said that he is overseas. What is he doing there and why can't he come here?

Kg Man2: Golok is in Thailand so he is overseas la. Must be visiting some orphans in the hotels there.

Man1: Hahahahahaha, glad to see that the people here have good sense of humour. No he is overseas, the person you friend told you must be someone else or your friend is working for the opposition. They are always out to discredit us.

Old Man: If you had bothered to go round the village instead of resting in the penghulu's house then you would know that there is no river in this kampung. We don't even have proper drains so where do you plan to build the bridge that your minister has approved? From the Penghulu's 1st wife house to his 2nd wife's house?

Man1: Hahahaha, good one there. You are a real joker. Did I say bridge? I mean ( hey penghulu, quick tell me what do you need, quick, quick. What? Okay) to say that the Minister has approved a computer lab for the people of this village. Your children can use this facility for free.

Old Man: I support the idea but could you also ask him to provide us with electricity. I don't think it's a good idea to have a computer lab without electricity.

Man1: Oh yes, I forgot to say. After we win Manek Urai, we will build a new power plant here so you don't have to worry about electricity anymore.

Old Man: What if you lose?

Man1: Err, err, aah, here comes the truck with your gifts. Let's all go over there, come on. Tok Penghulu please lead the people over there.

TP: I would like to thank the Minister for this gift to the people of Kg X. I know that the people's welfare is always in his heart and this truckload of gifts is his way to show how much he loves us. Please wait in line while we distribute the contents of the truck. Don't rush because I am sure there is plenty for everybody. Open the door.

Old Man: Hahahahaha, look at the boxes. "SUMBANGAN RAKYAT MALAYSIA UNTUK MANGSA TSUNAMI 2004"

Man1: Oops! wrong truck, penghulu can you explain to the people, err, penghulu, penghulu, where are you going, penghulu wait for me.

8 comments:

ahoo said...

Wow ! Instant mee is coming into town again. Just read that school going children were given bags and whatnot. Also, they are pouring in millions for the refurbishment of old buildings, heritage ones lah not your kampong house nor mine.

At this rate of going, we better pray that more buy-election come to town and at least the hardcore poor can smell some fresh air. Pray that both dun & mp seats of those who are not people friendly and serve themselves type. Can be from whatever parties concern BUT it will be better from the parties that most people reject, lah !!!

Kata Tak Nak said...

ahoo,
Why not we make a timetable for them to die. If they don't want to die then resign.

Singam said...

Luvvit!

Kata Tak Nak said...

singam,
I am glad.

kopitelp16 said...

Man.... you're so so so irritating and harsh on BN. They have actually planned to develope and visit Marek Urai. But then, since they couldn't find this place on Google Map, it took them 2 years to reach. Just a coincidence that it coincide with the buy-erection. (Najis can sure use that).

So, no more these kinda of post, ok?

Kata Tak Nak said...

kopitelp,
I say, like that means sorry la to BN.

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Hehe...why le kopitelp16 say like that? No good you know. Actually, you know, that guy you mentioned in bracket, use Cikgu's blog as his KPI. That's why lah now he trying to be good. But trying only you know...

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shah,
If only he'd use my blog as his KPI.
Wishful thinking la.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Blog Archive