Monday, 4 August 2008

The Candidate

PM: Okay people, you all know we have to face Anwar in Permatang Pauh and that is not exactly kacang puteh, so we must get the best candidate or we will be eaten alive.

Najib: Actually there is only one candidate here who can fight him there and he hails from a nearby constituency.

PM: Who, who? Call him now.

Najib: Its you Pak Lah. Only you can win there. I suggest you resign your seat and take on Anwar in PP. As for KB, it is a safe seat.

PM: Wow, what a good idea. When he trashed me real good, I will be without a seat in government and an easy target in our own elections in December. Very clever ha you. Why not you go there?

Najib: Cannot la. I am not from the North and the people are blaming me for that sodomy case so they won't take too kindly to me. I still believe you are the best candidate la.

PM: I know you la Najib. Okay, I could do it but when I resign, Khairy will act as the PM. You agree?

Najib: Er, er, it was just an idea la, and I can see that it is a bad one. Forget it la.

Samy: Er, Pak Lah. I also can. I have no seat now so I am free.

PM: Samy why don't you stop joking? We are serious you know.

Samy: I am serious la. Why you think I Indian, I cannot win in Permatang Pauh ka?

Najib: Hey Samy you can't even beat a Muslim fundamentalist if you were to contest in Mumbai la.

Annuar: Like this la. Lets accept facts, we know we are going to lose. Last I heard, punters are willing to kuyu BN about 5000 votes, its a lost cause la. Why not we say we are fed-up with them playing a fool with the elections and boycott the by elections.

PM: You mean run away?

Annuar: If we lose with a smaller majority, Anwar will still get in but if we lose with a bigger majority, malu and mampoih la.

Samy: Why must lose with bigger majority?

Annuar: In March no sodomy case also we lost by nearly 14K votes, now got sodomy charges and everyone don't believe it, so what happen?

Muhyidin: I think we put Ezam la. If anybody is going to get slaughtered let it be him.

Nazri: Why not the last candidate, Uz Firdaus?

PM: I heard he is afraid that if he loses, his chances for Ketua Bahagian would be lost.

Samy: I know, I know. We put that Sepol fellow. In our posters we put a picture of his arsehole. Surely can get sympathy one.

Kayveas: Hey Samy, you go play outside with the Puteri UMNO la, kacau only. Talk like retarded boy only. Chit.

Samy: Hey Kayveas, what you say? I cannot tahan you already la, come la if you are brave.

PM: Shut up you two. Go to the corner there and turn towards the wall. Go now.

Nazri: What did Tan Sri Rashid say?

PM: Not enough time to bring the Nepalese, Tibetans and Eskimos here. We have run out of ICs to issue.

Samy: Hey Najib, what about your wife? Nowadays everybody is afraid of her what. Put her la. Surely very explosive affair one.

Najib: Shut up la you. What my wife did to you that you want to talk about her like that? You want me to call her here ka?

Samy: Haiyo, no la. Joking only la. I want to die in one piece.

PM: We still do not have a candidate.

Najib: No matter who the candidate is we will still lose so why bother with a strong one? Lets just put in someone insignificant and let him be slaughtered.

PM: Yes I agree. Aaaa, Samy! Samy! Are you really interested in Permatang Pauh?


ayor lemuju said...

I would rather if they put ZAM in

Kata Tak Nak said...

Hey why didn't I think of that?

fergie said...

YES!!! Put Semi Value in PP .. Long time not see his ugly mutt and "toupee"?? Have a good week, cikgu.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Hooray for Semi Value. Have a good week too.

politicanalyst said...

Agree. Better put Ezam in to contest with DSAI.

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Samy: Me? No, no...I was only joking lah. But, what about that Kayveas guy...that guy sitting in the corner one?

Palah: Samy! We are serious here! You want or not?

Samy: lah, Palalah, I no want.

Najis: Hey! Remember that TDM talk where one guy was nearly beaten up by the crowd for suggesting Anwar be brought back into the Sarkas? He's an unknown and if we lose, who cares?

Palah: OK! That's about the smartest idea coming out of you since you came back to Malaysia some 25 years ago. So, its settle then, that guy! Er...anyone know his name or how to get in touch with him?

All present looked down to the floor trying to hide the blank look on their face. Typical Sarkas.

ayor lemuju said...

Agree to disagree?

Kata Tak Nak said...

Ezam has been asking till his mouth froths to contest.

Kata Tak Nak said...

I like the smartest idea part. Yes, he doesn't seem to have anything smart.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hehehehe...interesting idea from uncle samy.

but seriously, its a real puzzle why this ezam fella completely turned his back on anwar. that really speaks volume of his cunningness and he had the cheek to call anwar exactly that. really la, if he can do that to anwar, he can do that to the ameno fellas as well. you cant expect much from a hypocrite, can you?

monsterball said...

Your short rest did do you good.
You are getting better and better.
Best is Ezam. Make him loose his deposit...and shut his 'cheebai" mouth up.

IBU said...

Uncle Samy replied:

"Err... can put toll both there arr Pak Lah? If can, then I want lah!"

MalayMind said...

I bet Anwar will win - both the elections and the sodomy allegations.

If he's not, then of course it's because of the conspiracies.

Easy, mudah, senang. Simple mind.

Zawi said...

One of the best from you. Thanks for the laugh.


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