Wednesday, 28 May 2008

Bolasepak Di Parlimen

Wakil Pokok Sena:
Wahai Tuan Speaker yang bijaksana
Saya wakil dari Pokok Sena
Nak tanya Menteri Sukan yang handsome bergaya
Tentang nasib bola sepak negara
Yang dulunya gah merata-rata
Menjadi juara Pesta Bola Merdeka
Mengalahkan pasukan seperti Korea
Tapi sekarang asyik rebah saja
Sampai takut dengan jiran Selatan kita
Yang saiznya hanya sekangkang kera
Dan berpenduduk hanya beberapa juta
Dengar cerita berpuluh juta dah dibelanja
Tapi pencapaian tak kemana
Negara yang dulu belasahan kita
Lani dok peteh kita punya kepala
Mana perginya maruah negara
Tidak inginkah menebus semula?

Menteri Sukan:
Wahai wakil dari Pokok Sena
Terima kasih soalan ditanya
Jangan lah salahkan diri saya
Saya baru saja mula bekerja
Masuk pejabat pun baru 2 kali saja
Memang saya pun sedih juga
Dengan mutu bolasepak kita
Kita selalu kalah dalam set ketiga
Itu pun lepas deuce lima.

Wakil Batu:

Masa saya di stadium dulu
Sering dengar orang menjerit referee kayu
Baru hari ini saya tahu
Yang Menteri Sukan jugak begitu
Menteri apakah ini saya tak tahu
Tak boleh beza bola dari batu

Menteri Sukan:
Tuan Speaker yang Maha berkuasa
Gunakan lah kuasa yang ada
Wakil Batu menghina saya
Otak saya beku dia kata pada saya
Kenapa begini sikap mereka
Kepada saya mereka berjenaka
Pada hal soalan saya dah jawab semua.

Tuan Speaker:
Maafkan saya wahai YB menteri
Izinkan saya mencelah di sini
Memang saya rasa nak maki
Kerana mereka perli YB menteri
Tapi maki saya tak jadi
Sebab saya sangat geli hati
Dengan jawapan yang YB menteri beri
Nampak sangat YB menteri tak reti

Menteri:
Saya sungguh rasa terhina
Kerna Tuan Speaker pun join sama
Dengan mereka menghina saya
Cepat beritahu, apa salah jawapan saya?

TPM:
Betul tadi kata Tuan Speaker
Jawapan yang YB menteri memang tak kena
Bola sepak tak main set punya
Dan juga tidak ada deuce lima
Itu badminton permainannya
Bola sepak ada tak ada jangka masa
Tujuan nya untuk menimbang bola
Siapakah yang timbang paling lama
Dia lah yang diistiharkan pemenangnya.

Speaker:
Maafkan saya wahai Yang Berhormat
Jawapan itu tidak lah tepat
Bola sepak di main berempat
Bola dibawa ke satu tempat
Disepak bersama sambil melompat
Rembatan dibuat mestilah tepat
Kalau jatuh sekali lagi start.

Wakil Pokok Sena:
Memang lah betul yang mereka kata
Badut sarkas memimpin kita
Konon nak memaju sukan negara
Beratus juta belanjawan dipinta
Tapi semua tak tahu apa
Bagai penghuni Zoo Negara.

22 comments:

frankie said...

Our national football team is also known as pasukan kenasepak negara.

Shirzad Lifeboat said...

hi kata tak nak

since you think it is about soccer now...do you think strawberry chik can be the goalkeeper? Im sure we would agree as to whom should be the skipper...this is the guy who said he would take 15 mins to warm up soon as the match begins.

roonaldos said...

salam kata tak nak,

hehe klakar plak tgk Malaysia mng sebijik lwn U23 Iraq baru2 ni. main jahat gila! hahahahah

monsterball said...

In Parliament...macam macam bola ada.
Big balls...small balls. Some even some have no balls. where have they gone to...God only knows.
But best is LKS...like me...monsterball......hahahahahaha

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hehehehehe...memang bodoh menteri tu.

wahai menteri yang konon bijak bestari,
elok sangat kalau berhenti je jadi menteri,
banyak lagi kerja boleh dicari,
tapi tahap kebodohan melampau takde company nak beri.


apakata try carik kat angkasapuri,
mintak tolong kat si shabery,
sama2 belajar islam hadhari,
dari vice president FAM saudara kery.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Frankie,
Our football should be run by pros not politicians and royalties.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shirzad,
I think Gerard makes a better skipper and as for the goalie, England is dead man.

Kata Tak Nak said...

roonaldos,
Malaysia ni main gentleman pun kalah, main jahat pun kalah. Bukan kita tak ada players tapi yang baik punya tak terpilih semua sebab nak jaga hati banyak orang.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monty,
Some of our MPs do know football and can be good managers but they must first resign from politics. These 2 don't mix.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Kerp,
I wonder if Kerry knows which is a football and which is a netball. They all suck man.

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Lol! This is an original piece! I would have love to add some, but don't think I can live to your well defined prose.

By the way, isn't soccer supposed to be played with a wooden stick and the middle net tied across with a height of about 6ft? The ball too, I thought its oval in shape, and the men wear paddings and a crash helmet with iron grills? No? Well, I must have been playing the wrong game all this while :)

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shah,
That game is called cricket. According to FAM soccer is a game where the government hands out millions to associations who just pick any guy on the street and give them boots and instructs them to lose by vertain goal margins so that the officials could make plenty of money with their friends the bookies. You don't actually need a ball. You could settle for one two som.

hantutelur said...

Our players get their training on Sony Playstations

tokasid said...

Wakil Rombau:

Wahai Speaker bijak bestari
Juga YB-YB dongarlah sini
Nak saya cerita dan juga ceriti
Tentang bolasepak negara ini

Korea Jepun dan Singapura
Dulu kita dok taji mereka
Memang sekarang terbalik keputusannya
Kita pulak asyik dok kena

Tidak bermakna malaysia tak kuat
Kita kalah tu saja buat-buat
Sesaja kalah nak tunjuk hormat
Pada Korea Jepun dan Singapura yang dah maju sangat

Bolasepak kita sudahlah maju
Sudah ada liga pro tak macam dulu
Tengoklah Kedah hijau kunin selalu
Setiap tahun dok menang selalu

Pokok Sena:

Thankiu Remabau pasai turut mencelah
Memanglah hebat team aku Kedah
Yang aku nak tahu apa kejadah
Team Malaysia asyik dok rebah

Batu:
Wahai Rembau wa kata Poooodahhhh
Dalam FAM kamu apa kejadah
Bagaimana Malaysia tak memanjang rebah
Dari atas ke bawah penuh rasuah


Rembau:

Wahai Batu janganlah macam tu
Ada saja chan nak memaki aku
Lihatlah speasker muka si Batu
Macam orang tak dapat candu

Speaker:

Wahai Rembau yang tahu malu
Mengapa di tuduh Batu bercandu
Lebih baik tarik balik perkataan mu
Sebelum kamu di hentam bertalu
Mereka bertanya cumalah satu
Tentang bolasepak yang tak bermutu.

Samy Vellu(ex-Sg Siput):

Wahai speaker awak nombor satu
Dalam parlimen suda la tintu
Apa pasal bolasepak main ada naik mutu?
Mana ada pemain kita namanya Muthu
Saya Samy Velu jugak mau kasi tahu
Saya tada lagi minum samsu
Tiap hari juga minum susu
kadang2 ada angkat tairu
Butul2 saya tada tipu...

Speaker:

Wahai Samy velu jgn begitu
Telinga saya sudah naik berbulu
Awak sudah jadi hantu
Bila kalah pilihanraya dulu
Pergilah pencen dan jaga cucu
Wahai pemgawal keluarlah kamu
Angkat Samy Velu keluar kot pintu
Mana2 lagi yg pencen kita tak perlu
nak nasihat kita macam peluru
sebab nak tebus kesalahan dulu

Kata Tak Nak said...

Doc,
Mola tu aku dok cari jugak mana dia Samy Velu rupa-rupanya you save the best for last.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Hantu,
Ya plastation depa pun bookies beli bagi. In Penang ni bookies memang banyak and from what I hear, they are very active la maknya most games are rigged and the best part is that sports administrators ramai yang sekongkol dengan bookies to come a quick buck.

Mr. Right said...

Wah... dah sihat je, terus meneruskan usaha mengutuk menteri ye. Hahahha.... bagus, bagus, bagus.

Kata Tak Nak said...

me. right.
terima kasih, terima kasih, terima kasih.
Bukan apa dapat modal tengok parlimen kelmarin pagi.

hantutelur said...

Che Gu, in Malaysia money does the talking, in the kampungs and the cities, in every nook and croony. Money is God. Other values can be discarded. Religous enforcer can be bought, what more football players? People kill each other for money. One will even kill his brother for money. Whether they're in the government or in the opposition, they are very much similar. What is pride? Winning the world cup is not is not as much tempting as winning a plot of land with a bungalow on it and a couple of luxury cars.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Hantu,
Yes, I agree with you but I am also of the opinion that this cannot go on. Just because it happens does not mean it is right. If we allow it to be right than in days to come it will be a way of life.

If we do not frown upon corrupt practices and accept it because everyone one is doing it then we are saying it is okay. Then we might as well throw religion away because the teachings of the religion fourteen hundred plus years ago and the contents of the holy book fourteen hundred plus years to come would still say that it is wrong.

Don said...

So sad to see those clown leading our country. How can we change it? How come they still get the mandate to run our country? Why? Why? Why? I guess there a lot of people who don't bother. I see there a lot of people who still only care about their selves.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Don,
Exactly. Many care only for themselves. They don't even think about their children's future.

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