Saturday, 13 December 2008

Light & Easy

Got this in the mail this morning. I am sure if I could get this so could many others but anyway to those who did not get this, it should be a good weekend read. Have a nice weekend and take it easy on all those kenduris.

SIXTEEN THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved,
and never will achieve, its full potential that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share
yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we
observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think
she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal
about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion,
economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that
we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person.

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A
large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the
crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE DAY :

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them !!

9 comments:

muteaudio said...

"You should not confuse your career with your life."

Chegu,
Part ni yang saya selalu confuse. Buat kerja ofis kat rumah & buat hal peribadi like blogging kat ofis!

Kata Tak Nak said...

muteaudio,
So ni ada di opis la ni? Everyone confuses their career for their life because they live because of their career.

aN_archi said...

May I add KTN ? Never eat kuih koci in public if you have loose dentures.

frankie said...

Item 1 is a real gem of advice, may I add, never try to fart with highest decibel possible. Things can get pretty ugly and smelly, just like what comes out from the mouths of the politicians these days.

monsterball said...

If you can come out with such a list.....all by yourself..you have achieve wisdom status.

bayi said...

You are full of realistic wisdom, Cikgu. I can almost feel the pain of licking a steak knife! And all the other "proverbs" are just as practical! :)

peng said...

LOL! Sleeping pills and laxative are indeed light and easy! Thanks for the humor, as always the champion of laughs!

Eskapisminda said...

Hadoooiiii...you really make my day la! No 10 tu dah pernah terbuat. Malunya...she's not pregnant but only fat in the tummy and I was so honestly, excitedly (and bodohly) ask "when is it due?"...

LynMay said...

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal
about your birthday. That time is age eleven


Are you sure? I thought that age was 21? :p

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