Friday, 19 December 2008

Affordable la.

Read this first.

Patient: Before I go, I would like to thank you so much for saving my life doctor. I am so proud being a Malaysian. We have everything here and they are affordable.

Doc: Glad that you are feeling better and well on your way to full recovery. Please, for the 1st month, don't exert yourself and lay off sex completely. You will have plenty of time for that later on because we have extended your life by another 20 years.

Patient: What no sex ka? Light-light one also cannot ah?

Doc: That new heart of yours was once a monk's so it was was never used to strenuous pumping. No lar, we must wait for all the wounds to recover completely then you can do it as often as you want lar.

Patient: I was joking only lar doc, at my age, if I can get it up once a month also can consider an achievement already. I am just glad to be given a new lease of life.

Doc: Okay Mr. Osman, I have other patients to see. The nurse will bring you your bill, settle them and you would be given your discharge papers.

Patient: Er, er what do you mean settle my bills. I paid the full amount when I was warded what? Exactly as the price list prepared by the government.

Doc: Yes, you have paid for the surgery, operation theatre, scanning and x-rays, room and drugs but there are incidentals, small amounts here and there, thats all.

Patient: Oh, incidentals ka? Okay, okay.

Nurse: Mr. Osman, your bill sir.

Patient: WHAT!!!!!!!! 20 thousand

TV on/off switch: RM25 per click x 50 clicks = RM1250
Change Channels: RM10 x 150 changes = RM1500
Visitors: RM20 x 35 = RM700
Baths: RM35 x 20 = RM700
WIFI : RM250 per day x 10 days = RM2500 (charged whether used or not)
Handphone Charger: RM150 per day x 10 days = RM1500 (charged whether used or not)
Patient Parking: RM100 per day x RM10 days = RM1000 (charged whether used or not)
Wheel Chair service: RM500
Elevator Rental: RM500
Soaps and Shampoo: RM500
Toothpicks: RM300
Laundry: RM500
Nurse Visits: RM50 per call x 100 calls = RM5000
Ushering Services: RM350
Sub Total: RM15900
5% Service Tax = RM795
10% Hospitality Tax = RM1590
10% Tips = 1590
Grand Total=RM19850
Round Up = RM20000

*No queries would be entertained. To be paid within 8 hours thereafter a charge of 8% would be imposed every 8 hours. Should patient die after reading this RM15000 would be charged as handling charges to be paid by next of kin. Should there be no beneficiary, the MOF would bear all costs including RM10000 postal charges.

Thank You.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cikgu ...

Kat mana rumah arwah Cik Osman nie ... nak gie pergi kenduri arwah and sedekah sikit kat family dia to cover RM15,000.00 ...

D'ayo

Anonymous said...

Salam cikgu..
Macam ni matilah kita. But they will tell you in this world where got free lunch. Ask our Samylah. Every thing must be paid! Sure no price increase in fees but you only pay all the misc. fees. Orang berniaga pandai cari duit. They can think all kind of charges. Kerja macam ni mesti ada banyak orang buat duit. If not why bother to prvatised ! Imagine now they are blaming the poor doctors for demanding more pay hike. You think Sime Darby is a charity organisationkah? Just like the toll and IPP operators. Vultures !! And now oil price is US$36++only but everything in the market is still so sky high except our gaji !!! My 2 sen cikgu.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Anonymous 15.05
Arwah Osman ada dengan late Samy Vellu.

Kata Tak Nak said...

anonymous 16.45
Exactly, they will maintain the old charges for while but they will introduce new charges. Your 2 sens are spot on la.

Kata Tak Nak said...

I am testing this comment coz shah said he couldn't get into this page. So please just ignore this.

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Previous to your last comment, this comment box just did not appear at all.

Hehe...but now, I've forgotten what I wanted to say :)

Kata Tak Nak said...

Shah,
I just changed the comment setting to 'open new window'. Never mind, the post is stale anyway.

kopitelp16 said...

Better die than get a heart attack. IJN now may stands for I Jaga Najibb.

Slime Babi group is now on a greedy expansion. Maybe it's time to suck us dry before a change in Government.....

Kata Tak Nak said...

KOPITELP,
They are all the same, no different. As long as there is money, they want it.

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