Sunday, 2 November 2008

The Beginning?

Raisus: Hail Najibus, Thane of Pekanus, Ruler of Malayus, Slayer of Dollus.

All: Hail Najibus.

Najibus: Your seat you may take my subjects. We are perplexed and angered that a decree we made a moon ago, a decree so simple, hath not been tended to.

Raisus: My Lord Conqueror, oh please spare thy humble servant, what is the decree that yee hath made that hath not been tended to?

Najibus: Did not we, at the last meeting, decreed thee the son of Yatimus that this seat next to ours, this seat meant for our consort, the lovely Lady Rosmasus, be replaced, for her rump it cannot fit?

Raisus: Oh, my dear King, a seat thy servant have ordered, befitting the stature of such an esteem queen but alas my revered King, the treasury hath not the amount of gold to make a seat so huge to fit the royal rump of The Lady Rosmasus.

Najibus: What? Hath the Treasury been raided of all the gold given us by our arm Petronus?

Raisus: Yes, my King but we have sent emissaries to the Royal Kingdom of Zimbabwayus to borrow more gold.

Najibus: Cannot thee then raid the EPFus for the gold?

Raisus: Oh, keeper of the Royal Rump of Saifulus, the EPFus is not the property of the throne, for to the people it belongs?

Najibus: The people? Is not the people Our subject? Do not We, the Ruler of this land own the people? Thy tongue speaketh infamy to not include the people as Our property. Doth thou not love the head over thy shoulders?

Raisus: But my King, all the gold of EPFus hath been used for the purchase of Eurocoptus, Sukhoiyus, submarinus and to bail thy cronies at the KLSEus.

Najibus: Then raid Maybankus or Tabungus Hajus but leave CIMBus alone. Go now. Now, my ministers and cronies, speaketh thou of your wishes for in thou We are indebted to present this throne to Us. Speaketh!

Jayjus: My Lord, I am your subject from Pahangus, a former minister who had served you well until that wretched Prince of Slumberland untimely terminated my employ.

Najibus: Aaah Jayjus the Champion of Buttockus Grabus. What favour doth thy want of Us? Speaketh.

jayjus: A million buttockus, my king. I will then die a happy death.

Najibus: Granted. Muhyidus, scour the land for a million of the most beautiful buttockus but touch not the buttockus of Saifulus for that buttockus is state evidence.

Guard: Oh dear king, run for thy life. A traitor has slain all the guards and is now this way headed.

Najibus: What? A traitor doth want to slain Us, the King and Emperor? Doth he not know that Our ministers and cronies would rather see their own blood crimsoned the Pahangus River than see a tiny mosquito bleed Us. Ministers, to your station. Ministers, ministers. Wherefore art thou goeth with so much haste that leaveth a lightning trailing? Ministers, come back or forever shalt thou be banished from this land. Guard loyal guard, who is it that is so bold that my throne seeketh to rob?

Guard: The Lord of Jitrus, Retired General Mahathirus and his foreign friend Mugabus and in his wake his son the eunuch Mukruz and an army captained by Samyus Vellus and his army the Toll boyus. Run my lord, run.

(To be continued, depends on what happens)

27 comments:

peng said...

LOL!
Cikgudus.. pleaseth give thy humble slaves a happius ending!!!

Zubli Zainordin said...

So classicalus.

More please...

monsterball said...

All these gus and dus will shame Shakespeares.

bayi said...

Hahahahahaha.....I am rolling all over the floor! LOL!

Anonymous said...

best inglish literature

Malaysian Joe said...

So, Najibus and his entourage flee the land of Putrajayaus?

Mahathirus and Prince Mukhruz reign? hmmm....

Why didn't they use the Sukhoius, Eurocoptus and submarinus to hunt down Najibus and his entourage?

abu said...

Najibus has yet to brandish his secret weapon - Big Momma!

Argghh...keep her away from me!

Kata Tak Nak said...

peng,
We have to see what happens first but the rakyat will get a happy ending, don't worry.

Kata Tak Nak said...

zubli,
Coming in due time

Kata Tak Nak said...

Monty,
Yes he is rolling in his grave

Kata Tak Nak said...

bayi,
Take it easy man.

Kata Tak Nak said...

anonymous,
Thankus

Kata Tak Nak said...

malayan joe,
They will fight first with big mama

Kata Tak Nak said...

abu,
Next episode big momma is sure to make her presence felt.

tokasid said...

Che'gus:

I'm rolling on my back till my buttockus is aching.

More please....

DNL said...

ahahahahus hus ,,

best posting bro. keep i up tough the facts and contents a bit distorted here there but appreciate it much. make my lonely night lighted.

cheerus....

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

muahahaaa..i tell you what happened; Jayjus was not satisfied with the million asses he got and wanted a pungkoq with more flesh aka gigantic ass which the only lady mentioned in this episode proudly possessed. he wnet on to grab and squeeze her bottom good that he was kicked and punched, by rosmasus herself!

Ashvin said...

abu, its biggus mommus

Mat Salo said...

I think we're seeing the dawn of a new-form of a high class literature here...

Perhaps in decades to come students of English Literature will dissect this particular classic and write thesis upon thesis.. and debating on the myriad interpretation of rumpuss and buttockus grabus and see their correlation to existing figures during the manuscript's era...

A fine academic achievement...

( A Blurb from An English Lit Textbook, Liverpool Press, 2020)

kopitelp16 said...

Classy! Simply classy....

Kata Tak Nak said...

doc,
becareful if your buttockus aches, they may come and see you to make a sumpah keramat

Kata Tak Nak said...

dnl,
Just want to have some one, thats all

Kata Tak Nak said...

kerp,
He should have asked him for the Royal Rump.

Kata Tak Nak said...

ashvin,
Very right.

Kata Tak Nak said...

mat salo,
there's nothing like a buttockus to liven things up.

Kata Tak Nak said...

kopitelp,
Thanks.

Ridzzy said...

Salam,

Oh my this cracked me up!

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