Monday, 16 April 2007

Poetic Justice

I have always wanted to blog about this to see if I am the only one suffering from this disease or there are others like me here on this earth. I can't be alone I'm sure coz that would make me a freak and I don't exactly cherish being called one. No this is not something that is earth-shattering serious that warrants debate by the United Nation or even a change in the rules the game is played. This is not even that serious that requires Sheih to have another look at how he makes movies.

When I was younger I do go to the movies like any other normal Malaysian. Now what do you have there in the movies? Of course there is the hero, heroine (is that spelt right?) and the must have not so good-looking villain or crook I chose to call him. The hero almost always works alone maybe with a sidekick thrown in onece for good measure and the crook would have an army.

To make my point clearer lets create a scene in a make-believe movie which is not so make-believe anyway coz you may have seen such a scene in one of the movies you have seen before. There is this gang of filthy, low-down, useless and ruthless plunderers. They roam the land and since I called them plunderers, they plunder any god forsaken town or village they come across. No one is spared. No a bullet in the head is not good enough. They would rather round-up their victims, tie them to stakes and lynch them or drag them with their feet tied until there is not an ounce of blood left. This only happens to men and not so good looking women. The good looking dames pay for being so delicious in their attributes. They do not do it alone but in fours and on all fours.

Their eyes will role exposing more of the white in their eyes. More often then not they have not had a bath for about a month and their moustache and beard are thick and dirty and sticky and all yucky. The hero stumbles upon this group to which he is pounced on by about 30 dirty men. They tie him up by they feet and dragged round in their horses to the melodic music of Bangawan Solo or is it Bangali one so long? Anyway he bleeds like hell and they left him for dead.

Are you still with me? Need I throw in some explicit scene or excerpts from 'Liverpool Library' to keep you here with me? Anyway our hero it seems carry spare blood 'AB' negative, so rare. It takes him about 2 months to recover which includes many visits to Madam Zora's bar whose girls played a crucial role in his recuperation. These girls by the way are also victims of these band of plunderers. Look at their 555 books, a long list of unpaid bills. These bastards not only rob and rape they also do not pay for their occasional visits at Madam Zora's.

Anyway our hero gets better and rode off in search for the villains who incidentally in one of their raids killed his wife, do the Mona Fandey on his mother and father and sold his children to a Myanmar couple in Sentul. Boy is he enraged. He is so angry that he could kill a minister, no not the church going one. Anyway he was ambushed and caught, deja vu?

The group leader decides that he has had enough of this no-good, refuse-to-die, meddling son of a bitch. He opened up his ' A Thousand and One Torture Positions - A Sicilian Kamasutra' by Don Torturo and flipped the pages. Then he did the meanest things perscribed which had Satan flying down to him pleading him to stop, promising to be a born again whatever, if he did. The hero, a Richard Gere look alike ended up looking like a certain minister who accused women of being lying bloggers and that made the audience all scream in fear at such an ugly sight.

As the crook looks down on the hero with his shot gun (don't get any ideas) pointing at the hero's forehead, our hero somehow manages to get a gun, obviously conveniently planted by the director, come on Sheih, you can do better, and shoots the crook square in the forehead and he drops dead.

That's it? That's all he gets for the millions of women he raped, thousands of villages he razed, billions of children he sold to Myanmese couples and all those unpaid bills at Madam Zora's? A bullet in the head and he didn't even feel it and drop down dead? You call this justice? You must be sick. I will not accept this. Sheih you must really go to directing school if you buy this ending. Come on people, we can't accept this. Ideas, ideas someone. How would you actually want it to end? The more graphic the better.


raden galoh said...

Oh No! Not Richard Gere look alike that would say bloggers are liars! Richard Gere...(he's my heart-throb la)...Better find someone with thick lips who would dare to say things like that...(you know, his lips are numb so that's why he didn't feel a thing when he said foul/vindictive (ye ke?) words... ehehehe...

by the way, how's your bro?

Kata Tak Nak said...

I was at my brother's place yesterday. He was on a wheel chair. He refused the fish soup and asked for steam fish. He complaints of being boring. I can't blame him. It is not for want of company, that he has plenty. He wants to go out, so yesterday they took him to Gurney Plaza in the island. I could see him smiling as they wheeled him to the car.
I would say thats quite an improvement. I am fearfull for him but at the same time happy as far as how things are now.

Hmm Richard Gere eh?

alliedmartster said...

KTN..I know...
GIve the villain multiple roles..
As in the girl at the bar?
The village head?
The....Mmmmm you know ahat I mean!

That way, he tortures himself!

alliedmartster said...

Or give them KFC? Stuff them till they explode?

raden galoh said...

Kata Tak Nak,
It's good that you took him out for some fresh air...places like beaches, waterfalls, mountains are know as places that can boost or improve a weakened spirit...I found it true always works for me...these places make me feel refreshed every time...

Ya, ya... agree with allied...stuffed with KFC until it explode...

zewt said...

hey bro,

are you going to the BUG? noticed that date is the FA cup final...

Kata Tak Nak said...

Not good enough. What about a truncheon with a switch release 3 inch spikes. Shove it in the you know where, smile and pree the switch. One thing I fear is that he would enjoy it.


I'll convey the message to his family. There is mengkuang damn about 5 km away. Its a reall6y nice place, green and peaceful.

Nothing except my bro can pry me from the tv set come FA final.

monsterball said...


monsterball said...

okay kata tak working normal.
Zorro laptop also crashed! We spent few hours togather..smoking while programmer attending to our computers.
He gave me your HP #.Thanks for that.
How's brother's healh...improving?

Kata Tak Nak said...

My bro is well enough to be wheel-chaired out. On Sunday evening they even wheel-chair him to a shopping complex. of course at his request.
His mind is still sharp but his body is weak and his muscles have wasted away quite a lot.

monsterball said...

He needs alot of rest and boose up tonics to build his health back. Be patient...but frankly....let it to God's wlll also.

tokasid said...

Salam to KTN.

Yeah...its not fair the crook got shot in the forehead and died instantly.

I'd prefer Richard'Pedis Oralis'Gere hero goes into town with the Madam Zora's girls( 20 of them) whom had took turn to nursed him into complete recovery in Liverpool Hospital(beside the Liverpool Library). The hero then trained these girls in hand-to-hand combat( and sure are fast leaners with the buah pukulan maut) and how to shoot.They have with them and old Chinaman who owns a kopitiam there who teaches them kungfu (aka kungfu Hustle style) and all the Kungfu Tze's teaching( as to make the girls a better person).

After 3 months of traingng by the waterfall the hero and the girls are ready for revenge.By now the girls are good at horse riding too.

I like if the battle at the town square and the saloon if something like Kill Bill.Madam Zora's girls can be that brutal, what with the buku 555 in their bra( safe keeping) to justify what they are about to do.

The crook is finally caught and tied in the middle of the town square. The minister(church going this time) gave a long sermon asking the hero and his band of girls to forgive the crook. One of the girls(PAM of CGOPD actually) shouted: Eye for an eye Padre! Everyone started to chant that magic words.(Rap and hip-hop style)

Finally Richard Gere took over centre stage. He wants everyone who had been victimised by the crook to do what ever they want to him.So its up to KTN and sheih to continue...

Kata Tak Nak said...

I like the training at the waterfall part. Imagine Rich and 20 girls, how is he going to get into shape to fight the crook.
Sheih, are you there? Lets see what a director has in mind but whatever it is please give us orgasmic pleasure in the end, please!

monsterball said...

In the office...all the workers notice boss leave at 2pm sharp and never return to work.
So all left...except one.The fellow staffs said 'hi ..why are you so afraid. Boss never come back lah. Go home."
Next day....all staffs did the same he plug up his guts and follow same.
Returning home....he opened the door with his key and saw the boss making love with his wife...closed it quietly....and went back to office.
Next day...staffs asked "Did you go home?"
He replied..." Yes I did and came back to office. Nice advise you gave me. Saw boss and lucky he did not see me trying to ponteng work"


kata tak nak,

i know a great way to torture this villain BUT it is unprintable.

KTN: good to know you brother gets to go out! thts ood for him.

take care

J.T. said...

KTN, I do have suggestions on how to torture the crook but I think it is best left unsaid. Don't want the guys reading this to "rasa sakit" vicariously.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Good one there.
Nuraina and JT
Boy I really wonder what you have in mind must have been very painful like cutting out his gall bladder with a spoon giving him hormones to grow breasts. But I think the best is to make a certain minister mentioned in the story to give him a head, that would surely kill his willy forever.
I hope he survives at least until the end of May coz his son is getting married on the 5th and the reception is at the end of May. We wanted to postpone the reception but he (my bro) insisted on having it.

monsterball said...

Sis Nuraina...You are a smart but shy lady! Go ahead...tell it out and leave genders aside.
Anyone trying to belittle your comments on such things...I will make them faint with my cigar smokes..hahahaha
I heard you do smoke a cigar!!
Next time I meet you again...I will offer you one and we can smoke and drink coffee togather.Okay?

raden galoh said...

you have not been updating your everything ok, bro?

Kata Tak Nak said...

Everything is ok is just that we have sports in school for the whole week and when I get home I am just too tired. Let me give you a general description. I am of average height for a Malaysian about 5' 5". I weigh about 220lbs so any out of the ordinary activity will get me real tired. I know, I know I must get my weight down, do some exercise and diet and the works and I plead guilty of not doing any of the above.
Anyway I am not one of those whose creative juice flows easily. I am still thinking of what to blog. Hey almost every subject is taken up.

How's the situation with the fluid in your lungs? Getting better I hope.

tokasid said...

Salam to Kata tak nak.

Aku pun dok heran macam bro raden pasai hang sunyi sepi lama sangat.Kot hang sakit ka..kot abang hang sakit balik ka...ropa-ropanya sports day.memang la kalu balik rumah mesti flat punya.

Bila ada idea hang jangan tak tulih pulak noo...

J.T. said...

KTN, need some ideas on what to blog? How about walking down memory lane? Typhoon Sue was looking for volunteers to be tagged. See the rules at:

If you rather not relate to music, at least let us walk down memory lane with you. Tell us where were you and what were you doing at 18. Everyone has a story.

zorro said...

Yipee, KTN...I am back....lost everything on my hard disc. Monty's boys tried their best but could not retrieve. Well, I deserved what was coming.....vacillating on backup.

OK if I was director this is how the villain will meet his end. Assuming he is taken captive but his trusted #2 is dead. Tie him up face to face with his dead partner. Yes continue to give him is four meals...can even add supper...want him to live longer while tied to his dead friend. After a few days of decomposition he may not be able to take the food given, as he is now lip to lip with his dead man. He is showing signs of being deranged. Isnt this more fun than one shot between the eyes...the camera pans in and maggots are seen crawling out and having a field-day on his mug....sheesh....I am getting terribly excited doing this directing. He will not eat now as he is screaming like mad. He begs to end his life, but he is given a car-wash flush...he thinks no more maggots....but a new army invades. Them maggots are biting at him...and fire-ants had the scent of decaying flesh and are crawling up his naked body. He gets short respite because of a slight shower. He is totally mad now and begs for you to end his life. OK, sheih to take over now.

(aside: twas nice meeting you...pity had to rush back to KL...didnt want to be caught in an afternoon storm....there will be more time together later. As a group we may make a trip to Penang to meet Penang bloggers....will send pic....showed pic to some of our bloggers.Take care. You like Dr.Ooi and Tawfik.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Thats the kind of ending that I like, he should pay for it real slowly.
I am midway through reading the book. It is in school and get to read only when I am free but I find it most interesting. Thanks. Please do visit Penang with the gang. That would be fun and I am looking forward for it.
So now get to work, you are behind in your postings.

zewt said...

How come suddenly the Richard gere lookalike is related to a certain minister who said bloggers are liars? Tak beberapa faham. By the way, what happened to the family portrait? Oh… really in dilemma thinking of whether I should go to BUG or watch FA cup final…. sigh

Kata Tak Nak said...

I thought we fumbled when we drew with Boro, but I didn't know that Chelsea envy us so much as to want to copy whatever we do.

The family pic? It's like this. I am one of those who got itchy fingers, always tinkering. I don't know how many times I had to send my CPU for formatting because of this itch of mine. I was trying to get recent comments as a widget in my blog. Since I couldn't get any from blogspot, I went elsewhere and elsewhere meant I had to tinker with the html, whatever that is, codes and one thing lead to another and voila, I lost my post. can it do that? I am hopeless in these things you know. You young people are tech savvy. I am jealous of those flying birds in your blog and old itchy fingers was roaming around the net trying to get himself one of those flying birds.

Anyway I don't know what I did to get the rest of my posts back. Abracadabra and it is there fuyooo magic.


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