Friday, 6 April 2007


Last week, as usual I spent 2 days with my brother at his place. Visitors came in droves that sometimes I felt that we could do without some. I know they meant well. My brother has many friends, many of whom are people he had helped and it is heartening to note that these people had not forgotten him. They came and recited the Yassin. Some came with traditional medicines and some with 'Air Yassin'.

My brother was just lying there, with tears trickling down his cheeks as each visitor approached him with words of encouragement. He couldn't speak. Each time he tried, he was inaudible. He could not even lift his hands. He was lying down watching. Every few minutes or so he would slip into a slumber. He had not eaten for many days. We had to spoon feed him water and juice.

On Sunday evening a relative came. I could see that he was visibly shocked by the sight of my brother lying down listless. I left them to go out for a smoke. The relative came to me and I was shocked to see him crying like a baby. He said that he couldn't bear to see my brother and that he would try his best to do something. This relative of mine is known to claim that he is a part-time bomoh. He practices what is called 'Metaphysical Healing'. I am known in the family to be the one who do not believe in bomohs.

He offered to help and I saw no reason to stop him since the doctors had given up all hopes. After some of the visitors had left, he started. He chanted verses of the quran and was very animated with his hands, catching invisible objects, crushing them in his fist and pressing them down to the tiled floor. He went about it for about an hour. Then he took an egg, wrote some something on the egg and started rolling it all over my brothers body. In the end he wrapped the egg in tissue and put it in a plastic bag and asked my nephew to throw it into a river or the sea.

What I admired about him is that, he knows some would laugh at him at his style of healing but he didn't give a damn. When all was over he left. About half an hour after that I left. When I got home I received a phone call from my sis-in law asking for the relative's phone number. I asked why and she said that my brother drank his first half glass of water. He drank and not spoon fed. I passed it off as a mere coincident but gave the number anyway.

Though I do not believe in all these mumbo jumbo, I still called him and thanked him for I could feel that he was sincere in wanting to help his way. Everyday I called my brother's house and was given very encouraging results. My brother is now able to sit on the sofa. Of course he had to be carried to it but all the same he could sit and prop his head against his hand which is strong enough to withstand the weight of his hand. I promised to go over on wednesday night but had to cancell since the bridge was closed and roads leading to it was jammed because of the bomb hoax. So I decided to video call him and was surprised to see him sitting on the sofa and talking to me in quite a clear voice. I was also told by my sis-in-law that he finished a whole fish that day. I couldn't and did not want to hold back the tears.

The next night, last night, after school, I rushed to his place on the mainland and sure enough there he was sitting on the sofa, without the usuall oxygen tube. He smiled when I entered. As I greeted him, tears began to trickle down both our cheeks. I was unashamed to cry for I was very happy with what I saw. We spent quite a nice few hours talking and watching tv.

I still do not have too high a hope because I know what stage 4 cancer could do. This could be the calm that preceeds a violent storm. I am not saying that my relative has nothing to do with this sudden change but neither am I saying that he is responsible for this small miracle but I am grateful. I believe that if God wishes, then it happens. Deep inside, underneath the fear of the impending storm amidst this calmness, I pray that this small miracle would evolve into a big miracle.


Sheih said...

I visited your blog everyday since reading about your brother. I knew w\that I am expecting a sad news. But today, I have a good news.

What ever it may be, this is the moment to get the best from both him and the family.

God works in mysterious ways.

zorro said...

Chegu, I am a Catholic. But I have taken friends to bomohs. Because God does not come to us HE uses man to help man. They say God ways are wonderful. This short relief you brother is experiencing adds to the quality of his life.
Just make sure he is comfortable and bed-sores dont set in.We continue to pray, but most important have faith.God knows best.
Yesterday evening we inaugurated National Alliance of Bloggers (NAB).Sheih came back to KL from KB just for this. He provided transport for Anon frm Miri who flew in for this meeting. So did Susan Loone fly in from B'kok. You take care ok?

Alliedmartster said...

KTN, I drop in occasionally, not expecting, but hoping for updates.
God really works in mysterious ways, perhaps, now is a good time to spend whatever time u have with your brother.

God bless,

zewt said...


well, i hope God will bestow his blessings upon you. gonna sound cliche but... may His will be done.

Happy Good Friday.

Kata Tak Nak said...

I just got home from school. Not going tonight since tomorrow and Sunday are holidays, I will go there tomorrow and stay the night there. I may sound like an angry man when I talk politics but I am a sensitive man, and when I read what Sheih, zorro, alliedmarsters and zewt's comments believe me if I say my cheeks are wet with tears.

yes, I hope for a miracle but deep down inside I don't think its coming. I just hope he gets stronger and when the time comes for him to go he goes not in a vegetative state.

Thanks brothers.

Rocky's Bru said...

your brother is lucky to have a caring brother like you. i pray for his recovery, for a miracle. and for your good health.


All we can do now is (to) pray to Allah SWT for his grace and blessings.
Allah, as we know, moves in mysterious ways.
I lost two sisters to cancer. It was Allah's will that none of us watched Kak Piah go when the time came for her to go (in 1994). We had been there, taking turns to care for her. And when the time came, we were not there because, kak ton and Azah were caught in the crazy thunderstorm along Jalan Damansara, as were Kak Olin who lived close by, and Lalin. If my car had not stalled in front of the hospital in the thick of the thunderstorm, I would have been there with her. just as my (citroen ZX at that time) car approached Pantai Medical Centre, it stopped. just like that. couldnt turn the engine on. Calmly, I called the citroen service people (the first batch of ZX model were problematic) told them to collect my car from that location becos I could not wait for them as I had to see my dying sister.
I trudged in heavy rain up the road. A little wet, i made my way up to the ward. The lift opened, and my youngest sister, Nina, was there, her eyes red."She's gone".
Nina missed her by a minute.

KTN, it was Allah's will that I was the only one with Kak Eda the moment she breathed her last. I watched her go. I saw her eyes "looking" at me, rolled up and shut. I saw her hands stiffened.
I don't know why I had to be the one.
But I am glad I was.

KTN....your brother is lucky to have a family who loves him and cares for him.
Hang in there...
I pray for the best.

(P.S: KTN... I'm not sure if I have been saying the right things here..I apologise if i sound less than comforting)

Kata Tak Nak said...

Rocky and Nuraina,
I am now in his place. Just helped to lift him to a more comfortable place. He is better than when I saw him last thursday but he is still a cancer stage 4 sufferer.
Nuraina, your words have been comforting ones. You have all been great friends and I can't ask for more.

Sheih said...


Very happy to hear that he is better than Thursday.

By the way, do not forget to take care of yourself too Chegu. It is important for him to see that you are happy and healthy. This will boost his morale.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Thanks. I try to take care of myself as best as I could but I can't seem to cut down on smoking though. 40 sticks a day, ain't too good right?

monsterball said...

kata tak nak..Your brother is very lucky to have you.
Whenever my eldest brother of 75 years old phone me up....he cries. I know why..he misses me.
I also visited your
site many times....nothing new...until now.
This good news is most Friday 6th April was very very holy day for Christians and Buddhists. ...celebraing the crucifixtion of Jesus and Goddess of Mercy birthday. This week is all about goodness to kindneses..piety and true loving kindness it is also all souls days..on going for two weeks.
To be better now shows your brother is receiving all the merits of what good he has done for others.If you do not beleive it..then you have no religion.
So my friend...rejoice and be happy.Bless you and your love ones.

monsterball said...

You smoke 40 sticks of cigarettes per day?
Try pipe smoking...much cheaper and once you like will give up cigarettes. Pipe tobacco are mixing..thus healthier.
If you are interested..then I will tell you how to make a good pipe smoke. There are certain rituals you must faithfully follow to enjoy it.

zorro said...

KTN. 6 yrs ago I was 4 packs of ciggies a day and 1 new pack if out with the boys. Went cold turkey after millions of attempt to cut down. Finally did it and two weeks later lung went into trauma and lost many kilos....worried sick. Now I pipe. Puff more than inhale but enjoy a good cigar with good cognac. I will be up in Penang for my nephew's (also godson) wedding on 14April. Give me your mobile #. I want to connect with you probably in the afternoon....probably meet up for tea at mamak. Tell me where you live and I will go get you. My mobile is 016-6319973...I will bring a Dominican cigar to seal our friendship. Cheers chegu.

shanghaistephen said...

Dear KTN,
I have been to your blog numerous times but only needed to comment now as I believe you are a good and caring brother. I'm sure it will all be for the the best of God's plans and you be strong for the rest of the family and take care of your health. My prayers this Easter goes for your brother's health and pray for Divine intervention to ease the pain and strain on all your family. God bless bro.

monsterball said...

My lap have your latest post...but my desk is always the post on football!!And I use desk more than lap.
Now I adjusted the desk to your latest message and realise your brother was sick since 26th March. Please accept my sincere apology...not knowing I was frequently clicking into the desk computer for new post and saw none!!Now it is adjusted.
zorro can teach you how to enjoy a good pipe smoke.....much cheaper and healthier.

Kata Tak Nak said...

I never knew I have so many caring friends here in cyberspace. You people make me cry, really.
Monsterball, pls don't say sorry, we are friends and you don't have to apologise. Zorro you have always been an inspiration. I have SMSed my no to you and Shanghai thanks for the thought and the prayers, I welcome all.

zewt said...

you're always welcome. hang in there brother. it's easter... a time of hope.

raden galoh said...

alhamdulillah...glad to hear the good news...i'll continue praying that you stay stronger each day. Be there, with your bro. Cancer patients like me and your bro need stronger family attachment. Reach out to does boost his immune system, a magical way.

I want to answer your question about my feeling when I first heard that I have cancer. I felt the time really stopped. On my doctor's face I saw my boys' faces. It was so scary that I was so confident I may not have the chance to see them grow...I still can cry if I were to remember that moment.

Whatever it is, Allah tests us in many forms and ways. It's part of His way telling us that the more He tests us, the more He loves us. So hold on to your faith. I take cancer as a test of my faith, love and resilience, bro.

nadeea said...

i'm happy for papadon and u too..
this is where i see updates about its hard for me to make long distance call plus everytime i called mak cak, she cried more than talking which i cant bear..thanks for the update uncle jeet...regards to all..

Kata Tak Nak said...

Doa la kat papadon. Kita kena realistic, his chances slim. Papa dan mama jaja ada disana lani dok jaga dia. Dah lama depa dok jaga dia. Pray for him. And thanks for visiting me, keep in touch.
Uncle Ajit.

J.T. said...

KTN, God in His infinite mercy, knows what is best for your brother.

My experience tells me that those little miracles we see gives us hope that our loved ones are not suffering too much. It gives us a calmer mind to deal with the situation. God is not only helping the patient, He is also helping family and friends cope with the situation.

My mum had her 'good days' although we knew deep down inside her days were numbered. Still, there were little ounces of hope every now and then that her condition would be reversed 100%.

God does work in mysterious ways, no matter the outcome.

nadeea said...

Sure did and will always do...
Send my regards to ur family and all...

tokasid said...

Salam to KTN.
Alhamdulillah your brother is coping well.Eventhough his C is advanced,what is important is he can have a quality life while he is still here.At least spiritually he is better and so depressed. At least he is able to perform his solat and be as normal as possible.

With good family support he will be a happy man. If you read at fauziah Ismail you will find how Ache and the musketeers cope with the big C.
My salam to you brother.My doa to him too.

Anonymous said...

I visited your blog secara tak sengaja. I have similar problem , sama dgn your brother.I got it at the age of 39. I have 3 kids, great husband and a wonderful marriage.

Very much intested to know more about your brother's development. Hopefully, he's getting much better now.

Mother of 3

Kata Tak Nak said...

You are most welcome to enquire and I will be too happy to furnish you with the infos that you need. It would be better if you comment in the latest post coz I read them first then maybe the others. It would be nice if you could relate your own experiences, I am anxious to know


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